Chapter Ten

Gaius helped prop Arthur up, so he was sitting in bed. The poor man was clearly struggling to remain awake and Gaius frowned in sympathy.

"Just keep your eyes open a little longer and then you can sleep as long as you like," he said kindly. "You're freezing. Here, Merlin hand me the blanket. I'll wrap this around you…Gwen, is making some hot soup. You have to eat."

"I'm not hungry."

"When was the last time you ate anything?"

"It was…I can't think. The days aren't making much sense in my head."

"That's alright," said Gaius kindly. "But you need to eat something, I suspect it's been several days since you had anything substantial and you need something warm after being in the rain." He stepped away from the bed and looked over at Merlin. "Guinevere, you had better make some for Merlin as well. We don't want two men catching cold."

"Really I'm fine," protested Merlin sheepishly, but Gaius' long look prevented further protest.

"Do you think he'll be alright?" asked Gwen a little later, nodding towards Arthur as she ladled the soup into two bowls.

"I think so. I'm going to give him something for the fever and as long as he stays warm and fights off the chill, has regular meals to regain his strength and stays out of the rain, he should be alright."

"He can stay here as long as he needs to," offered Gwen.

"That's very good of you. It will be better for him not to move, but we could offer him a bed with us if you'd prefer."

"No. He can stay here."

"Good." Gaius picked up one of the bowls of soup and handed it to Merlin and then taking the other he approached Arthur. Sitting down on the bed he gently shook him awake.

"You really think he'll be fine?" asked Merlin, as he and Gaius entered their home an hour later.

"Yes, I should think so."

Merlin gave a large yawn. "Good." He saw Gaius open his mouth to say something and burst out with, "Well, I'm off to bed." He tried to beat a hasty retreat to the stairs but Gaius stopped him before he was halfway there.

"Merlin. Where were you tonight?"

Guilty Merlin turned back to look at him. "What?"

"Where were you tonight Merlin?"

"Over at Gwen's with you?" offered Merlin innocently.

"Merlin," said Gaius gravely, "I mean before that. Where did you go?"

"I…can't tell you."

Gaius raised an eyebrow.

"Look I wasn't doing anything wrong I was just…somewhere."

Gaius sighed. "I can't insist that you tell me Merlin, I only hope whatever it is, you know what you're doing."

"I do. Absolutely." Merlin wished he felt as sure as he sounded.

"Alright. Well we'd better get to bed, it's late. Sleep well Merlin."

"You too." And Merlin hurried up the stairs to his room.

Arthur slept through most of the next day. In the evening Gaius came by the check on him and all but force feed him another bowl of soup. His fever had subsided and the shivering stopped but Gaius advised he should stay in bed until he had regained his strength. He felt back asleep immediately Gaius was gone.

The sun light was streaming in the next day when he woke up. He opened his eyes and blinked in the light pouring in from one of the open windows. A chair had been placed near the bed and Gwen had left a loaf of bread, a bucket of water and an empty cup on it.

Propping himself up in bed he picked up the loaf and tore a piece off. He suddenly found himself feeling ravenous. He ate the bread in large gulps and then took several cup-fulls of water from the bucket.

He grabbed his shirt from where Gwen had set it dry by the fire and he pulled it on. He was just pushing aside the blanket and swinging his legs onto the floor when the front door opened and Gwen came in.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"Getting up."

"Gaius said you're to stay in bed at least a couple more days."

"Gwen I'm fine." He tried to stand up but his legs gave out from under him and found himself back on the bed.

"You're still weak." Gwen crossed over to him. "Your fever is gone but you're still suffering the after effects. You need to lie down."

Arthur considered arguing but found he didn't have the energy to do it. He lay back down on the pillow.

"Can I get you anything?" asked Gwen, once she was sure he wasn't going to try to get up again.

"I'm fine."

"You keep saying that, even when you're not."

Arthur opened his mouth to say something and then hesitated.

"What is it?" she asked, moving the bucket of water down onto the floor and sitting on the now vacant chair.

"Nothing. I'm-"

"Arthur. You are not fine. Something is wrong. I can tell."

"How can you tell? You don't even know me?" he asked, and he couldn't help sounding a little bitter.

"You look so sad," said Gwen softening.

Arthur was silently for a long moment, looking towards the fire. An urge to confide in Gwen was surging through him. He remembered what they shared when he'd stayed with her in secret during the tournament. He also remembered walking through the down pouring rain. He had been subconsciously aware that he wasn't behaving rationally, that he should try and find cover, but he hadn't been able to concentrate on the more logical voices in his head. He supposed now it had been due to the fever. All he could think about was getting to Camelot, and, yes, getting to Gwen. She had on several occasions guided him and he was repeatedly impressed with her wisdom and clear-sightedness. And out there in the rain and night, as he felt the strength sap out of him and everything felt confused and muddled, the only thing he could think to do was to reach her.

"I've never felt so lost," he said quietly. "I've always…known where my life was headed. I always knew what I would be, who I would be. My life was planned from the moment I was born. But now...I can't see any way to go. And I'm alone."

"You're not alone," said Gwen. "Gaius, Merlin, me. We're all happy to try and help you."

"Why?" Arthur turned to look at her.

"Why? Because you need help. That's what people are supposed to do. Help those in need."

"But I'm a stranger. A stranger with absolutely nothing to offer."

"We don't expect you to offer anything. And you'll find your way Arthur. Everyone has a destiny and everyone loses sight of it sometimes. But you'll find what yours is supposed to be."

Arthur looked back towards the fire.

"Arthur," said Gwen slowly, "Isn't there anyone…you must have some family somewhere? Or friends? We could try and get word to them?"

Arthur thought for a minute how to respond. "I don't have anymore. Not anymore."

"I'm sorry," said Gwen, laying her hand gently on his shoulder. "I lost my father last year. It's very hard to lose your family. Did you lose them recently?"

"Fairly."

"I see. Maybe that's why you…" She trailed off.

"Why I what?" he asked curiously.

"Well," she said a little nervously. "Why you imagined all that last month…about the King and such."

"Ah...maybe." He smiled at her. Neither spoke again for some time.