Chapter Fourteen

Arthur sat in the blacksmith shop. He had lit a small fire and was bent over it watching it flicker. His felt confused and exhausted and overwhelmed, but also incredibly happy. Every time he tried to force himself to think over last night seriously he'd just start grinning like an idiot again.

"Arthur?"

He jumped to his feet and turned to the doorway. Gwen was standing there, looking nervous

"Gwen, hello."

"Can I come in for a moment?"

"Of course, sit down."

"No thank you." She came closer to him. "I have to go to Morgana soon but I just wanted to see you first. Last night…"

"Yes?"

She was going to call it a mistake, the thought flashed through his head, she was going to say she didn't want to see him again, she was-

"Really wonderful. I know I've only really known you a few weeks. But I have feelings for you. And I don't know what you think or feel but I just wanted you to know…last night I felt, you were holding back. After the kiss…you were very quiet and I just…I don't know how to say this." She sighed and shook her head. "It's just I understand. If you don't feel the same way, and that's fine. I value you as a friend too. And you will always have my friendship so-"

"Gwen," interrupted Arthur. "Don't." He took her hand. "I loved kissing you last night."

"Well technically I kissed you." She smiled up at him.

"Alright, I loved being kissed by you last night. There's a lot happening for me now. A lot of things I don't understand and I have to figure out. I would love to be with you. But at the same time when I think about the future-"

"Why do we have to?" asked Gwen shrugging. "I mean you're talking about the future but we don't even know what we want in the present? Can't we deal with the problems when they come without making them now? Can't we just…see if we make sense before we worry about the rest?"

Arthur stared at her. Why not? He could see if he could live life as Arthur the Blacksmith, he could see if he could live a life with Guinevere. He could discover what he was capable of; if he was capable of this. And if at some point he did reclaim his identity? Well…who knew how things would be when he was King. Besides, every day he was growing more doubtful that he ever would.

Maybe he had remained silent to long, and the silence and seemed like a refusal for before he could respond Gwen had turned and hurried out.

"So," Merlin plopped down on the bench, and grinned at Arthur. Arthur picked up the tongs and taking a sheet a metal out of the fire, carried it over to the anvil. "I hear you and Gwen finally kissed."

"Merlin," said Arthur exasperated, "Have you ever heard about minding your own business?"

"Nah, can't say that I have. So, how it'd happen?"

"How do you even know it did happen?"

"Gwen told me."

"Well then you can go ask her how it happened," said Arthur exasperated.

"But where would the fun in that be? I knew you liked her," he added.

"Alright, you're very smart." Arthur rolled his eyes, "Now it's private."

"Oh come on."

"Merlin I'm not talking about my personal life with you, so that's enough, you *will* stop talking about it!"

"Oh I will, will I?" Merlin quirked his eyebrows and grinned. "I'm not your servant you know, and I rather think I want to keep talking about it."

Arthur sighed and shook his head. "If you're so keen to talk about romance, why don't we talk about you? I'm sure there's some lucky girl just waiting to take you away, *far* away. I'm thinking into another country."

"Alright," laughed Merlin good naturedly, getting to his feet. "Be that way. But if it was me and I had a girl like Gwen interested, I'd want to talk about nothing else."

"Yes well some of us are physically capable of keeping quiet sometimes." Arthur sighed. And shook his head at himself. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean that…it's just…I feel…guilty."

"Guilty?"

"Yes," Arthur stepped away from the anvil and walking over to the bench sunk down on it. Merlin came over and sat beside him.

"What's there to feel guilty about?" asked Merlin. "Gwen cares got you and you care for her. You're both happy."

Arthur hesitated as he considered the best way to phrase things without Merlin reverting to the old 'Arthur's crazy' theory. "Have you ever felt," he began slowly, "As if you were living a lie? Or like you were leading two lives and you couldn't let anyone know?"

"Oh you have no idea," sighed Merlin. "And it feels like every time you open your mouth you're deceiving someone?"

"Yes!"

"Look, sometimes you can't tell everyone the truth. For their own good, and yours. I just think that if it's someone who's really your friend, they'd understand."

"You think so?"

"Yes. Because sometimes you have to not tell the truth, and a true friend would understand that you didn't have a choice. And they'd understand that whatever you did, you always tried to do it for the best."

Arthur smiled and placed a hand on Merlin's shoulder. "You know sometimes you're not a complete idiot." He stood up.

"You know you should work on your people skills. Really."

"What are you thinking about?" Morgana asked, looking at Gwen's reflection in the mirror she was sitting in front of. Gwen was setting her hair.

"Nothing My Lady."

"Really? Nothing? You've been so quiet all day and it's for nothing?"

"It's nothing in particular My Lady. There." Gwen set the final touch to Morgana's hair and stood back. "You're done."

Morgana rose and turned to face Gwen. "Gwen?"

"Yes?"

"Gwen I...I hope if there's ever anything wrong you know you can always come to me. I know since your father died we've been more distant. I'm sorry there wasn't more that I could do when that happened. But I hope you know how much I care for you." She hugged her. "I won't need you again tonight, you can go home." Morgana examined herself quickly in the mirror one more time and then left the room to meet Uther for dinner.

Gwen put away a few things, turned down the bed for when Morgana returned and then left the castle, walking fast as a cold wind blew up around her.

When she reached her house she saw the lights shining in the windows and smoke coming out of the chimney. Curious, she entered.

A fire was burning in the fire place, casting a warm and comfortable glow about the room. Arthur was standing next to it. He was holding flowers.

"Guinevere," he began as soon as he saw her. "I thought I would make you dinner. But that would have been a complete disaster, so I thought maybe, we could make it together again like last night because I really liked that and you. Look I'm not saying this right but…I care about you too. I know I can be, well as Merlin puts it a 'prat' sometimes, but I want to see what my life could be like, if it had you in it."

Gwen smiled.

"Oh," Arthur held up the flowers. "And these are for you."