Chapter 7

Kahlan woke shortly after sunrise. Seeing that Cara had already left the room, the Confessor hurried to get ready and went downstairs.

Down in the small dining room Kahlan only found Cara. 'Where are…' Kahlan had wanted to ask where Richard, Zedd and Rachel were, but she felt a lump in her throat thinking about them, so she stopped midsentence for a second and finished '…the others?'

The Mord'Sith raised an eyebrow at the distressed looking Confessor, and - for a brief moment - Kahlan thought she saw something similar to pity in Cara's eyes, but when she told her they were already waiting outside, her voice was as calm as usual.

Kahlan nodded and – swallowing – she freed her face of any emotions as she was used to before making her way to the door.

Outside, she found Rachel, who struggled to keep a neutral expression when she saw Kahlan. Zedd was standing next to her with a smile on his face like nothing had happened at all.

But Kahlan's eyes were drawn to Richard, standing a few paces away from everyone else, looking tired and distressed. When he felt her eyes on him, he looked up and tried to give her a reassuring smile, but failed miserably. Kahlan ignored the Mord'Sith's annoyed huff and turned to Zedd: 'Shouldn't we leave now?' Thankfully, the wizard nodded, and the group was able to leave the village almost unseen in the morning twilight.

XXX

Kahlan walked next to Zedd. When Richard had gone ahead to check the path, she turned to the wizard, her voice as low as possible: 'How is he?' Zedd watched his grandson, who was now some hundred feet ahead, with a thoughtful expression: 'He came back only about an hour before sunrise. He didn't tell me, but he must have wandered through the village and over the plains the whole night… I told him to get some sleep, but he just said we should get going, and went downstairs.' Kahlan nodded, her gaze still fixed on Richard. She tried hard to remain calm, but Zedd knew her enough to see what was behind her Confessor mask. He laid a hand on her shoulder. 'I wish I could help you, but all I can say is this: Richard may have changed since he came back to us, but he still loves you more than anything in this world. And I am confident you will find a way out of this.' Zedd had tried to give Kahlan some confidence, but all she could ask was: 'But what about Rachel? What if he loves her more than me?'

Zedd knew this question would come, but that didn't change the fact that he had no answer that could comfort Kahlan; he would have told her what Richard had told him and - probably - her, too, already, but Zedd knew it wouldn't be enough so the two fell into a heavy silence.

XXX

When sunset came, rain clouds were already towering above their heads. They searched for something that would provide at least a little shelter from the rain. Despite the fact that all five of them searched the area, they couldn't find shelter for more than an hour. The rain had already started, becoming worse every minute. Their clothes were soaked when finally Cara spotted a small cave. Although everyone was eager to get out of the rain, they didn't enter until Zedd had searched the darkness for any dangers. When the wizard finally nodded, Richard cautiously walked in, his sword in hand, the others following closely. He had only walked a few meters when Richard's hand touched the cold stone. He searched for any hidden entrances, but didn't find any. Rachel had already gathered some fire wood on their way to the cave, so they set up a fire quickly. The group huddled around the fireside, all wrapped in their blankets except Cara, who had – against Richard's protest – insisted on taking watch at the entrance of the cave.

Cara had only taken the thinnest blanket with her, and when Richard walked up to her to take over watch some hours later, he saw her trembling slightly. He knew the Mord'Sith was stubborn, but she was never unreasonable, so he decided to at least give it a try: 'Cara, I'll take over watch now. Take my blanket; it's lying by the fireside.' The Mord'Sith immediately opened her mouth in protest, but Richard silenced her: 'You will get a cold when you stay out here any longer; just give me this blanket and take mine instead. I am warm enough.' When Cara still didn't move, Richard added in a playful tone: 'Do I have to make it an order for you to listen to me once?' He could see the small smile tugging at the corners of her mouth when she finally nodded, handed him her blanket and went into the cave.

XXX

The rain kept falling down as the night grew even darker and Richard felt it hard to stay awake. The sound of raindrops hitting the ground had always made him sleepy after a while, and his thoughts went back to Rachel and their kiss. It had been so short, but filled with emotions, however different to what he felt for Kahlan.

With a sigh he turned around and walked over to Rachel to wake her. She was lying on her right side, one arm under her head, the other lying on her blanket. The fire cast a beautiful reddish light on her face.

For a few moments Richard was so lost in his thoughts while watching her that he didn't see how suddenly her fists clenched and her legs began to move. Richard realized that her breathing became uneven. Rachel turned and was now lying on her back, her eyes wide open, but not appearing to perceive her surroundings.

'No, don't … I can't live…'

She was talking in her sleep, her voice desperate and fearful, her breathing quickening with every passing moment. Richard just stood there, helpless, as he found that calling her name couldn't wake Rachel. After a few moments her eyes closed again, but still Richard wasn't able to wake her up. Desperate, he grabbed her shoulders and shook her. Rachel's eyes opened immediately at his touch and he saw the beads of sweat on her brow.

It took Rachel a few seconds to realize where she was. Looking around she tried to block out the images of her nightmare and fought the urge to grab Richard's arm to make sure he was real … that he was still alive. He was looking at her, concern clearly written on his face. Rachel closed her eyes and tried to control her breathing, while her heart was still beating at double speed. 'It's nothing… I'm alright.' she tried to tell him, but she knew she couldn't fool him. He saw the desperate struggle to suppress her emotions that was going on behind her blue eyes. 'Rachel, you can't always pretend you are alright. I can see your pain and I want to help you. Please…' Even as she looked into his eyes, Rachel wasn't able to hold her tears back anymore. She melted into his embrace and buried her face in his chest while Richard put his blanket around her to keep her warm. 'I am here… It's okay now…Just let it go…' The tears that kept running down her face were soaking Richard's shirt but he whispered comforting words into her ear all the time until the sobs that had shaken her body stopped.

He didn't want to push her but when she looked at him she saw the concern in his eyes; and the question: 'What did you see?' It took a few minutes until Rachel found the strength to speak and when she did, Richard was shocked to hear how broken her usually strong and calm voice sounded: 'It was so terrible…'

'It's over now Rachel. I won't let anything happen to you…' he started, but Rachel shook her head as fresh tears filled her eyes: 'You don't understand... The dreams I have… they always end with you.'

'What do you mean?' Richard gave her a puzzled look. Rachel could barely force herself to say it in more than a whisper: 'I… I see you dying.' He frowned. That had been the last thing he had expected. But the fact that – again – he didn't know what to say was worse: Seeing the pain and the fear in Rachel's eyes and not being able to comfort her… Helpless as he was, he held her even tighter. It was the only way he could think of to help her… to reassure her that he was going to stay alive, when even he himself could never be sure of it.

He was staring blankly into the fire when she turned her head to look at him, the tears still glistening in her face. 'I can't loose you, too.' Richard shook his head, trying to tell her he would never leave her, but that wasn't enough for her. 'Promise me that if it's your life or mine, you will choose yours.' she whispered, her voice thick with emotions, 'I am here to protect you after all. Richard, I have only known you for a few days, but I know one thing for certain: I could never forgive myself if you gave your life for me …I care for you too much.' Richard was stunned by the determination in her voice, but he wanted to tell at her that he would never let her die.

'Promise me.' The lump in his throat made it impossible to speak, but slowly he nodded; although in the back of his mind he silently swore to himself that he would protect her …

'Thank you.' He almost couldn't hear the words, Rachel's voice was so low, but he saw in her eyes how grateful she was. She sat with him for some moments before she got up and tried to make her way to the entrance of the cave in order to take over her watch. Richard however was on his feet in an instant and pulled her softly back: 'I won't let you take over watch and sit there alone. I will take yours and you can try to get some sleep.'

'That's nice, but I don't think I will be able to sleep anymore.' Rachel tried hard to make her voice sound neutral, but Richard could still see the fear in her eyes. He laid a hand on her cheek and whispered softly: 'I understand.' Then he added in a playful tone: 'Anyways, I wouldn't mind some company; at least not if it's you.' For the first time in days, Rachel smiled. It was only a small grin tugging at the corner of her lips, but Richard felt so glad about it that he didn't care.

She took his hand and they went over to the entrance of the cave. He settled on the floor and Rachel sat down next to him, leaning her head on his shoulder while he put the blanket around her. After a while, the rain stopped and a thick fog clouded their sight.

Rachel was beginning to feel sleepy when suddenly she heard a twig snapping somewhere in the haze ahead of them. She felt Richard's body tense as she got up and grabbed his dagger, which was lying next to her on the floor.

He silently drew his sword, trying to see through the fog. Both heard the rustling of leaves and Rachel's confusion grew as she realized that this noise didn't belong to a human.

Suddenly, a small shape appeared and apparently it was coming towards the cave. Rachel let out a small sigh when a brown rabbit came into view. She turned her head to look at Richard, who was still standing there, the sword in his hands and a look of disbelief on his face. Rachel let out a suppressed chuckle at his expression.

He scowled at her mockingly, but soon smiled as he laid his arm around her shoulder and she rested her head on his shoulder again.

He felt a wave of calm happiness washing over him as he held Rachel, his chin resting on her head as they watched the rabbit hobble away.

Rachel moved her head slightly so she could listen to his calming heartbeat; the proof that he was alive...

All these years Rachel had pushed her true feelings aside; she had buried them because it had been the only way to continue living after she watched her family die. Rachel felt like her very soul had begun to perish slowly when her mother died and over the years it had become more and more fragile. Now, after all that had happened in the past few days it was so close to breaking; but somehow, when he was holding her, she felt like she had found the one person in the world that could make her whole again.

His warmth was creeping into her, making all fears fade away like an almost forgotten dream, and Rachel felt alive – for the first time in years. It was like she had been chained to a wall in a dark room with almost no air in it and suddenly someone had torn down the walls of her prison and she could move and breathe the fresh air again. Rachel took a deep breath as she felt his arm around her, her heart beating at a slow steady pace again. After a few minutes Rachel took a small step back and immediately felt cold despite the blanket that was still wrapped around her. She didn't need any words to thank him; it was enough to look into his gentle brown eyes.

Rachel walked over to Zedd, who was to take next watch, and woke him. His face lightened when he saw the young woman: she seemed to be really happy for the first time since they had met her. Zedd immediately realized what the reason for it was when he saw his grandson standing at the entrance of the cave, watching Rachel's every movement with a small smile on his face; as glad as the wizard was about Rachel's change, he couldn't help but throw a quick glance at Kahlan lying with her back towards them on the other side of the fire and he furrowed his brow, looking thoughtful. When Zedd got up Richard grabbed Rachel's hand for a moment before walking over to his bedroll.

Rachel fell asleep quickly, but this time no nightmare could overcome the calmness that had settled in her heart.

A/N:

Hey there,

thanks for reading on :) I hope you liked this chapter. As always, let me know what you think :)

And a special 'Thank you' goes to STforRK for reviewing so often. I am happy to see at least some of you are still interested in the story. I think it becomes a little clearer in this chapter where the relationship between Richard and Rachel is going, so I hope to be able to calm some of your concerns about this all being completely 'off character'.

Wishing you a great day,

Alex