Chapter 9
The moment Richard and Rachel had left, Kahlan had declared she was tired and wanted to sleep early. Zedd had raised an eyebrow at that. He knew her well enough to know that she didn't want to talk right now, but he was concerned about her. 'At least have something to eat, dear one.' he said in a soft voice. Kahlan, however, only shook her head.
'When was the last time you had anything to eat?' Zedd inquired, looking at Kahlan intently. She swallowed and answered: 'Please, Zedd. I'm not hungry. I'm fine.' As Zedd continued to stare at her, she gave in: 'Alright.'
Kahlan grabbed a slice of bread and began eating it slowly. Only when she had finished Zedd stopped watching her, apparently content.
Kahlan sighed: 'Wake me up for my watch.' She lied down and closed her eyes, her back turned towards the others.
Kahlan could feel they were watching her, but she was in no mood to talk to them. It had been hard for her to except Richard's feelings, but to see him and Rachel holding hands had hit her more than she wanted to admit.
A little later, she heard Richard and Rachel coming back and then the low voices of him and Zedd, but she didn't care to listen. Kahlan tried her best to suppress her feelings and calm down and - after a time - sleep finally overcame her.
XXX
She saw her father, standing in their little house, moments before the banelings came rushing into the room… his eyes widened in shock and he let out a moan as one of the men stabbed him in the back…'Not this again…' Rachel thought as she felt hot tears run down her face. Suddenly, the picture before her eyes was removed and she could see nothing but blackness for a few heartbeats until another, all too familiar scene manifested before her eyes:
He was standing a few feet away, fighting, when the silver weapon hit him in the back. His lifeless body fell to the ground. Her scream got caught in her throat as she watched the life in his eyes diminish. Tears ran down her cheeks as she collapsed on the floor, feeling helpless.
'Rachel, wake up.' Rachel frowned for a moment… She knew this voice, but it didn't belong here… Cara's voice pulled her out of her nightmare. Rachel sat up immediately, her eyes frantically searching for him. She let out a sigh of relief when she saw Richard lying on the other side of the fire, fast asleep and breathing slowly.
Rachel turned to look at Cara, who looked at her questioningly. 'I'm fine. Just a bad dream.' The tear that slipped down her face betrayed her, and Rachel knew Cara could see right through her façade, but the Mord'Sith merely nodded and went over to her bedroll.
Rachel slowly got up and made her way over to the edge of the camp, wrapping her cloak tightly around herself as she sat down. She shivered despite her cloak and her heart was still beating rapidly. Even though she tried to tell herself it had all been just a bad dream, Rachel couldn't fight off the feeling it had been more than that. She looked up into the clear night sky where a few stars where shining. The sight brought back memories of her father, and she suddenly found herself singing a song he had sung to her when she had been a child:
I see you everywhere I go
Your hair flowing in the wind like grass on a field
Your eyes sparkling like the river flowing by
I will never forget you
You left this world
The life in your eyes diminished
But the ghost of a smile on your face
I will never forget you
Even though it hurts
I know you are still with me
Looking down from the heavens
I will never forget you
When I look at the stars
I feel you with me, so close
Your light shining on me
I will never forget you
Tears had begun to run down her cheeks and her voice had become lower with every word until she stopped singing. A twig snapped behind her and Rachel spun around, only to let out a sigh of relief when she saw it was Richard. He slowly sat down beside her and watched the trees in front of them intently for a long time until he finally spoke: 'That's a nice song.' Rachel blushed: she had never thought she was a good singer, and now she had only sung because she had thought no one would hear her.
She swallowed before answering: 'My father used to sing it to me after my mother died…' She trailed off and Richard took her hand in his as he calmly answered: 'You don't have to talk about it.'
Rachel shook her head: 'No, it's alright. I… would like to tell you.' When he nodded slowly, she continued: 'He always sang it to me when I missed my mother and couldn't sleep. He would take me outside and wrap me up in a blanket. We watched the stars and he would sing to me until I fell asleep; he always told me that the people we love could hear us if we sang to them…' The memories that came to live before her inner eye were overwhelming her, and Rachel found that tears were now running freely down her face. Richard gently took her in his arms, and she was glad for the comfort. After a while, when she had calmed down a bit, he whispered into her ear: 'Sounds like your father was a wise man.' Rachel had to smile beside the tears as he hugged her more tightly. She buried her face in his chest and listened to his calming heartbeat.
She wasn't alone…Although she missed her parents, she had a family again. She was with people who cared about her just as much as she cared about them. The thought made her smile and it gave her more comfort than she ever thought she would get.
Richard sat silent, Rachel in his arms, looking up at the stars shining above them, thinking about the things she had said, and the song she had sung. He thought of his own father and smiled a little at the thought that he was somewhere up there, listening. He felt Rachel's breathing becoming slower as she curled up in his arms. Richard tucked a strand of her blonde hair that had fallen into her face behind her ear. Rachel lifted her head at his touch to look into his eyes. 'What is it?'
Richard smiled: 'I didn't want to wake you. I'm sorry. You should sleep now. I can take your watch.'
Rachel nodded wearily and got up. Richard smiled to himself as he watched her walking away. With a sigh he tore his gaze away from her and turned around to watch the dark forest, feeling tired but a little more at ease.
A/N:
Hey there,
I know, this chapter is a bit short; it was originally part of the last chapter, but that would have been a little too long so I decided to split it up.
The song Rachel sings in this chapter is completely made up by me :) (So don't judge it too hard; I don't have any experience in writing songs, nor am I very musical ;))
Originally, I had a 'real' song in my mind that I wanted to put in here, because the lyrics just seemed perfect. I was a little worried though with the whole copyright issues and - after doing a bit of research - found that most writers recommend writing something for yourself instead of copying some lyrics. So, here it is :) Maybe not perfect, but I hope it reflects Rachel's emotions.
Of course, I am still looking forward to reviews :) Thanks for reading,
Alex
(P.S.: The song I had in mind is called "1000 Words". You should be able to find it on Youtube if you search for "Final Fantasy X-2 1000 words (orchestra version). Yes, it's a song from a video game, but the lyrics just would have fit so perfectly I thought I would give you a hint where to find it :) Besides, I really loved this song, although it has a strong touch of J-pop which isn't quite the music I normally listen to ;))