Chapter Thirty-six

Arthur found Uther on the castle ramparts, looking out over Camelot. As he heard Arthur's footsteps he turned around and his grave expression disappeared into a smile.

"Arthur," he said warmly. "I'm glad you're better. I was so worried. I can't tell you how much having you back again…"

"We need to talk," said Arthur sternly.

Uther paused and then nodded. "Yes. I know. Your marriage to Guinevere. I have been giving it a lot of thought. I realize I can't fault her under the circumstances, she didn't know what she was doing…and I did technically give you permission to marry her. But you do also have to understand why there's a problem, she's isn't-"

"I'm not talking about Gwen. That is not up discussion," cut in Arthur. "She is my wife and I love her. You will accept me with her, or not at all."

Uther looked surprised as Arthur's outburst. "I understand you're probably angry with me. I forgot you. I hope though you understand that that was not my fault. That was magic. And I ordered your execution…" he placed his hand on Arthur's shoulder. "Please Arthur. You have to believe, that if there was any way I could change what I tried to do to you-"

"And what about Morgana?" Arthur interrupted.

Uther blinked and then sighed. "There is a lot to consider now. Her possible involvement in what happened has to be looked into."

"Morgana had no hand in this."

"Whether that is true or not," said Uther, raising his voice to talk over Arthur. "She is a sorceress. She has magic!"

"Have you learned nothing!" Arthur raged, his tone one of furry. He brushed his father's hand off his shoulder and stepped back. "Has what has happened taught you nothing? Morgana isn't evil! Magic isn't evil!"

"How can you say that?" snapped Uther. "After what it put us through these past months! After it took you from me!"

"Morgause did that! But she wasn't alone. You see father I learned a lot these eight months. I've learned magic isn't inherently evil! I've learned good people have it and use it for good ends. And I've learned people don't always choose magic, sometimes magic chooses them! But you did, didn't you father? You chose magic? You chose magic at my birth and that cost my mother her life."

"Arthur," said Uther exasperated. "We discussed this the first time Morgause came here. She was lying to you then!"

"No! She wasn't! I went to the druids!"

"What?" Uther blinked.

"I sought help from them when I first woke up and no one knew who I was!"

"You sought help from enemies of this kingdom?" Uther asked, angrily.

"Yes. They had magic and I hoped they could tell me what might have happened and how to break the spell and they did. You see Morgause did cast the spell, but she couldn't have done it, if my life hadn't been created with magic. Everything she told me, everything the vision my mother told me, that was true. She could do this because of you! You don't hate magic because it's evil. You hate magic because of what you did. You hate yourself and so kill innocent people! Innocent men, women and children, because you can't admit to yourself my mother's blood is on your hands!"

"Remember who you are speaking too!" raged Uther, stepping threateningly up close to Arthur.

Shaking his head, Arthur pushed him away hard, back against the rampart walls.

"I don't care anymore!" Arthur yelled. "I'm done! I spent so many years trying to make you proud of me. But I'm not proud of you. You have created hatred and fear in this kingdom because of your mistake. And now you throw Morgana in the dungeons? She loves you! She has loved you since she was a little girl! And you will turn her against you! She is proud and she is passionate! And if you do this she will hate you!"

"Arthur-"

"No you will listen to me! You think Morgana chose sorcery? You think she chose something she knew would make you hate her? Something that would turn you against her? You think, as the king's ward, she would choose something, which if discovered, would put her life in mortal danger? Morgana was everything you had when you could not remember me and you were everything she had! And yet you threw in the dungeons when she needed you! Are you so blind as to think she really wanted to betray you? And you know Morgana. You have raised her almost her entire life. You know there is a great capacity for good in her. She is not Morgause! She is not evil! She is just another innocent person who you will destroy in one way or another and then blame on magic once again so you can live a lie and not confess to what you have done!"

Arthur stopped and took a deep breath. He had been shouting near the end and the words now hung between the two men. Uther stood in silence, staring at Arthur, his expression unreadable. Arthur held his gaze for one moment longer and then turned and walked away.

Morgana stood at the back of her cell. She was staring unseeingly at the wall. Her mind was a jumbled mess of thoughts and contradictions.

When she had first been placed back in the cell yesterday she had been furious. With her full memories restored she raged against Uther. It was the same kind of rage she had felt at Gwen's father's death, the kind that had led her to conspire on Uther's assignation with those men. She had regretted it at the time but now she felt as if could gladly kill Uther herself.

But as night fell and it got later, Arthur's words kept coming back to her:

But don't let her turn you into Uther. Don't let her fill you with hatred and anger. Please Morgana…You must be better than Uther. You must be different then Uther.

And she remembered something else to. She remembered how much less anger she had had towards Uther these past eight months. How different their relationship had been. As his heir, she had strived to understand him better, and she had, hadn't she? He had shared more of himself and she had better understood him. But it had been more than. She had wanted his approval more. She had striven harder to make him proud of her. Why was it they had been different with one another? Was it because with the daunting task before her of one day succeeding him, she had better understood the necessity of a strong ruler and the importance of obedience to him?

No… she knew that wasn't it.

Maybe it was because when it was just the two of them…they had each tried a little harder.

The memories of the past eight months fought with her anger throughout the night. Early morning came on and she was still emotionally confused. One minute remembering how kind he had been to her these eight months and to a little girl, devastated at her father's death, coming to a strange castle to be his ward and the next recalling how he had looked and sounded as he ordered her to be returned to the dungeons.

She heard the key turning in the lock and turned around to look. But it wasn't the guard opening the cell door. It was Uther. He swung open the door and came towards her. A foot away he stopped. She couldn't decipher his expression. He remained silent, looking at her for a long moment and then he whispered,

"Morgana…" His voice broke, his body seemed to shake and he fell to his knees. And then Uther wept.

Morgana stood looking down on him, feeling cold and distant. He looked so broken, so shattered. For a moment she felt nothing. And then her heart softened. She knelt down before him, and she embraced him.