A/N: wow... well this is angsty if I can say... an 'cause I don really write angst fics, I kind of joined two chapters together

so the next chapter is more happier! :)

WARNING: this chapter contains selfharm, angst, hurt/comfort and triggering things... So you have been warned...

This chapters begin also takes place, when Nick and Jeff was at funfair so this is what happened in Dalton in that moment :)

Disclamer: I don't own glee... :

Wes ran as quick as his feet let him, towards his dorm room, ignoring calls which were reaching him behind. He didn't even know who it was, but to be honest Wes didn't even care. He wanted just get quickly to his room and lock the doors and not to talk with anyone. Especially not to David, even why on Earth he would even want to talk with Wes right now.

The Asian pulled his dorm room open and slammed it close right away, collapsing on his knees. Wes let his tears fall down to his cheeks and hung his head to look at the ground. He tried to took a few calm breaths to calm down himself, but he couldn't do it. He was near the panic attack, but not quite. The boy just broke up with David, even he didn't want to but there was no other choice, so he do it. The relationship wouldn't work.

Wes was moving to New York, away from Ohio and leaving David behind. David wasn't senior like Wes was. This caused Wes to cry even more than he already did and he was already crying his heart out. Leaving his boyfriend to Dalton, just because he was going to NYADA. Yes, Wes got the letter from there and was accepted to that school…

Another thing, what was tearing Wes up was his own mother's funereal. Actually, that was the whole reason why Wes had been so miserable and odd these days. And it was the reason to the boy's cutting problems too. Wes hasn't told anyone about this, not even to David. Wes' father has been trying to call him and text him, but Wes couldn't answer those. After all, Wes' father and Wes himself relationship wasn't as close as Wes' mother and Wes. Wes' father has never been at home, because of his work so Wes barely even know him. Wes' mother couldn't take care of Wes all by herself, so when the boy was 16-years-old, his mother brought him to Dalton.

But now, Wes' mother was dead. The boy didn't know his own father and he was leaving soon his long time home, Ohio. Leaving all this behind and start a new chapter in his life. Wes didn't want to think this at all. It was like he just came yesterday at Dalton and met his dear friends. He really didn't want to leave them there. There had to be a way to get out of these thoughts…

Wes snapped out of his thoughts, when a loud banging voice reached his ears. The Asian boy's head jerked up to look at the door and he quickly got up from the floor and stared at the door. When he heard David's voice outside his room, Wes quickly ran in to his bathroom and slammed the door close, locking it. "Wes!" he could hear David's voice behind the closed door. Soon, followed silence and the boy was sure, for a moment, that David has gone away and Wes sighed.

However, soon he heard again a banging noise and realized that David was now behind the bathroom door. Wes backed away from the door and bumped into the sink. "Wes, Wes!" David screamed, behind the wood door. "I know you're there, just open the door, please", he begged and tried to open the door, but Wes had locked it.

Wes, on the other side, started panicking and he glanced over the bathroom. Then he saw metallic objects, his razors, which he had left right top of the sink, just in case. The Asian boy shivered a little but took one of the razors in his hands and turn it over in his hands.

"Wes!"

There was still a little bit blood on it, from yesterday and some old blood from days ago. "Wes! Open this freaking door right now!" David yelled from outside. "I want to talk", he added. "Go away, David! There is nothing to talk about!" Wes yelled back, his eyes never leaving the razor. He wanted to think about something else than his leaving and David wasn't really helping the thing at all. But there in his hands, was a perfect way to do it. As he was doing yesterday, sliding a little metallic object through his arm and forget all the pain. Wes, with shaking hands rose his long sleeves, exposing his old cuts.

"The hell, Wes!" David yelled. "You have been acting strange since Kurt's transferring, actually even before that, but you keep saying that there is nothing wrong. Stop bullshitting me, Wes! Suddenly you want to break up with me and then lock yourself in bathroom, so please stop saying that there is nothing wrong!"

Wes found himself staring at the door, hearing all those things what David said to him but the boy didn't want to answer to him. He could feel his warm tears coming down to his cheeks and finally dropping on the floor. Wes took a deep breath and put a cold metal on his arm. "You want to know what is wrong?" he asked with shaky voice and slide the razor across his skin making a deep, but not too deep cut on his arm. "Fine! I'll tell you!" the boy screamed and made another cut. "I left you, because I know our relationship won't work when I am at New York and you stay in Ohio! It's going to be so damn hard, David", Wes cried. "You said that you think it would work, but I don't think so!"

"Wes, please. Just open the door", David begged hopelessly. He was so, so afraid that Wes would hurt himself in this state. David can tell that Wes was confused, lost and stressed all of this graduation stuff, but this wasn't normal from him. Wes had never been this freaked out of something. And now he was near the break down.

"I've lost everything already", Wes mumbled but loud enough that David could hear him. The darker boy frowned. "What are you talking about? You aren't!" he said with a pleading tone. Wes made a cut again, this time it was deeper than others and God how much it hurts. Wes stared at the blood in sink, which was colored all red. The boy moved a little and the red liquid started to fall on the floor. "My mom, David", Wes started weakly and stared the blood. "S-she died a couple days ago… I-I don't want to lose her! She is my only family member who I know", the Asian boy cried.

David's eyes widened in shock. Wes' mom was dead. Why on Earth Wes hadn't told him? "Wesley Montgomery! You open this door right now!" David yelled and banged the door. He was sure that the whole school heard him. And what kind of material these door were!

But Wes didn't listen to him. He slid a few deep cuts and let out a dark snort. "You know… It's even pointless to me to be in here anymore", he said and David felt himself shiver a little. "I've lose my mom… I don't know my own dad and now for a final", Wes started to feel dizzy now, from all the blood loss. ", I am losing you David… I-I don't think I can take that pain… 'cause I lov-"

Wes made accidentally too deep cut on his wrist and that blood didn't stop, there was coming out too much. Wes eyes widened in panic and he felt how the bathroom started to spun in his vision and his knees started to feel weak too.

David frowned from outside. "Wes, what were you say-", he stopped the sentence when he heard a metal hitting the floor. "Wes?" David said mostly to himself and his frown deepened. When Wes didn't answer, his eyes widened in terror. "Wes… o-okay, this is not funny. Stop scaring me, Wes", not answer. "Please, Wes just-"

Next thing what David heard was a loud thud inside the bathroom. Now David was panicking. "Wes! Shit!" he yelled and started to bang the door louder and harder. It didn't break. David cursed against his tears and looked around to find an object to break that fucking door down. He took a chair and hit it against the door and its knob. The door smashed open. The darker boy quickly placed the almost broken chair on the ground and ran inside the bathroom.

"No!" he screamed when the first thing what he saw was Wes, laying on the bathroom floor pale as the ghost. David kneeled down to him and took Wes in his arms. "Fuck, Wes! What the hell you did?!" he was trembling now. Then he saw Wes' arm. It was full cuts and the red liquid fall down. David stared at the arm, still trying to hold back the tears but just couldn't do it anymore. He placed Wes carefully to the ground and took his blazer off and put it on Wes' arm and hold it against the cuts, hard. "Don't you dare to fucking leave me, Wesley!" he said. "I swear to God, if you do that I'll…"

He heard Wes' let out a small groan and a hope started to rise inside of David. "Somebody help! Call an ambulance!" David screamed and then turned back to Wes. "Wes, do you hear me?" David asked and Wes started to open his eyes slowly. "D-Da…Davi…d", Wes whimpered and opened his eyes just a little. "Wes hang in there… Just don't f-fall asleep", David begged. The Asian shook his head. "S-so… tired…" he mumbled and closed his eyes again, falling limp on his boyfriend's arms. David's breath hitched for a moment. "No, please! Wes! I'll do anything, just don't!"

At that moment Blaine came running to Wes' dorm room with Thad and Trent. "What the hell you're screaming?" Blaine asked. He looked at David, but then his eyes landed on Wes, who were laying again on David's arms, eyes closed. Blaine's eyes widened. "What…?"

"Don't just stand there like an idiot! Call a freaking ambulance!" David yelled angrily. Trent took his phone quickly out of his pocket and put numbers '911' on it. "Ambulance is on their way", the sassy warbler told soon and went outside to wait for them.

Blaine kneeled down to Wes and saw now his red arms.. "Oh fuck", he cursed and turned to look at Thad shakily. "Thad, go get some clean towels. Quickly!" he said when he saw the blood coming through David's Dalton blazer. Thad nodded and left. The hazel eyed teen looked back at Wes helplessly and shook his head. "Why? I mean, why he did this?" he asked. David just started down to his unconscious boyfriend and then grabbed the towel from Thad, which he gave him.

"His mother", David said quietly. Blaine frowned a little but didn't get the chance to ask what David meant, when the paramedics came running to Wes. Blaine and Thad had to keep David in tight grip, before he could do anything stupid, while the medics lift Wes up.

As soon as they had left with Wes to hospital, David fought himself free from the two shorter boy's grip and rand downstairs and to his car. Trent looked at Thad and Blaine and they left right after David. The hazel eyed teen typed Kurt's number to his phone and told him to come to hospital.

"What's wrong? Are you okay?" Kurt has asked panicking. "Yeah I am… But it's not me… It's Wes. It's really bad."

Blaine told the situation to his boyfriend and Kurt promised to head right away to the hospital. The lead singer shut his phone and then turned to look at Thad. "Call to Jeff and tell him and Nick to come too", Blaine scolded. "Why we don't just go and tell them instead of calling?" Thad asked confused. "Because he and Nick are on date, so please just call them", Blaine said frustrated and bury his face on his hands. Thad looked at his friend, but finally typed Jeff's number on his phone.

They were now sitting on hospitals waiting room in silence. David was walking back and forth in the room arms behind his head and mumbling, or actually praying to Wes that he was safe and okay. Thad looked blankly at the walls as well as Trent. Either of them didn't say anything. Blaine leaned at the wall, playing nervously with his sleeves.

The nurses didn't let any of them to Wes' room. They had to calm David down when he was particularly screaming and trying to urge himself to see Wes. But the nurses were just saying that they had to wait at waiting room. They were doing what they can do.

Soon Kurt entered the waiting room, breathlessly. The boy glanced over the room and saw Blaine, who ran to hug him. The blue eyed teen returned the hug as tightly as his boyfriend.

After a few minutes, Kurt leaned back and he stared at his boyfriend, with fear in his eyes. "H-how is he?" the blue eyed teen asked carefully. Blaine shrugged sadly. "The nurses are doing what everything what they can."

Kurt nodded slowly, before adding scared. "Is he…". Blaine nodded, causing Kurt immediately sigh in relief. "15 minutes more and we would've been too late", the hazel eyed teen told.

Kurt looked at David, who was now sitting next to Thad, who was rubbing the darker boy's back comfortably. "I feel bad for David", Kurt said quietly and sadly. "How Wes could do that to him?" he added. Blaine bit his lower lip. "David told, that it was because he was miserable about the graduating", Blaine said looking now at David too. "And his mother…"

The pale boy turned to look back at Blaine and frowned. "Wes' mother? What about her?" he asked carefully. Blaine shifted uncomfortably and shook his head. "She died couple of days ago", the hazel eyed teen told quietly, looking at his feet. Kurt's eyes widened and he rose his hand to his mouth. "Oh my god", he gasped quietly and now felt himself to be near at tears too. Kurt knew how Wes felt right now, losing own mother is really hard and really sad. Well of course.

The nurse came to the waiting room and David immediately stood up and walked to woman. "Is he okay?" the darker boy asked carefully. The nurse smiled comfortably and nodded. "He is okay and awake", the female told. David rose his hand to his chest and sighed. "Can I see him?" he asked The nurse thought a moment before answering. "This way", she said nodding and led the way to Wes' room.

As soon as the nurse and David was gone, Nick and Jeff ran to the room panting heavily. "Wes… Please say that he is okay", Nick begged and looked at Blaine. The hazel eyed teen smiled a little. "He just woke up and David is now there with him", Blaine told. Jeff fell down to his knees and hung his head to look at the ground. "He is an idiot", the blond mumbled under his breath.

David opened carefully Wes' room door and found Wes staring outside of the window. There was bandage around Wes' left arm, covering his healing cuts.

The Asian turned around and saw David. Wes blinked a few times but didn't say anything. David closed the door and then walked next to his boyfriend's bed. "Hi", Wes said quietly and with a voice which didn't sound his own. David just stared at him. "Why didn't you tell about your mom?" the darker boy asked. Wes shrugged and turned to look at the window again. "Wes", David said and sat on the chair. "Answer me", he added looking at the Asian boy. "Maybe I didn't want to believe it even myself", Wes said quietly. "So you hide it from me and started to cut", David said. "It was the only way to forget that all", Wes mumbled.

David bit his lip. How could Wes even think about that way? That was just so not right and such an idiotic way to think. "Why are you here?" Wes finally asked and turned to look at David again. David blinked and sighed. "I am here for you", he told. Wes started at him. "Why? Why you want to be here for me? I broke up with you", the boy said confused and little bit helplessly. "I am here because I care about you and you're important to me", David said. Wes shook his head. "No I'm not. You don't need to lie to me."

David took Wes hand between his owns and tried to look at the boy's eyes, but Wes was clearly trying to avoid his gaze. "Look at me, Wes", he said gently. Wes shook his head again. "Please", David begged. "No", the older whispered with shaky voice. David placed his hand gently on Wes' shoulder and the Asian started to turn around really slowly.

Wes looked at David with watery and wide eyes. "I'm so sorry, David", the boy said brokenly. "I-I'm sorry", he repeated weakly and bury his face to his own arms. David stood up and took his boyfriend in tight embrace. He hated to see Wes' cry, even it was unusual, but he had seen it. "Sorry", Wes hiccupped one more time and sobbed a little louder. "Shh, Wes. It's okay, please don't cry", David said quietly. "B-but… I did something re-really s-stupid and…" Wes said against David's chest. "I didn't tell y-you about my mo-mom even I k-know that I can trust you and-"

"Wes", David started and leaned back, stroking Wes' cheek bone with his thumb. "Do-don't hate me, Davey", Wes whispered brokenly. David's eyes widened and he stared at Wes. "Oh my- Wes, no! I-I wouldn't ever hate you", the darker boy told seriously. "How you can even say that?"

Wes rubbed his eyes and hiccupped. "After what I did…" he mumbled weakly. "No, Wes. Just no. I won't ever hate you", the younger boy said. "You know why? Because I love you Wes, with all my heart."

Wes watched at David with wide eyes. Was he like serious right now? David took a deep breath, when Wes hadn't said anything and continued: "When I, in my first day came to Dalton I laid my eyes on you right away. And to be honest, I wasn't brave enough to tell you, so I lied that I had a girlfriend."

David stopped for a moment and laughed nervously. "I have always loved you, Wes but that's just something what you can't say right away", the darker boy said. "When you were standing outside my room, talking with Blaine and Trent telling them how you can tell me that you liked me, I can say that my heart melt. I wanted to tell you immediately that I loved you, but I was afraid that I would scare you away", he added and then looked at Wes and his breath hitched. "Oh my God, I'm sorry Wes. Do-don't cry anymore."

Wes rubbed his eyes again, to stop his tears but they wouldn't stop falling to his cheeks. "I-I love you too, David", the Asian chocked out. "Always have", he added. David looked at the older boy in shock. Well this shock was way too positive. He felt same way. The darker boy immediately took Wes back to his embrace and hugged tightly. "Can we be boyfriends again… I totally understand that you-" Wes said but was interrupted by David's lips on his. "Of course, you idiot", the younger boy laughed breathlessly.

"Does anyone come here to see you?" David asked after a while, as he rubbed Wes' wrist with his thumb. Wes narrowed his eyes and scoffed. "Well, who you think that would come to see me?" he asked quietly. David frowned. "Your dad?" he said, like it was clear. "Like I said, I do not even know him", Wes said and let go of David's hand. "I bet, he doesn't even remember me", he added smiling sadly. David bit his lip and cursed in his mind, before he stood up.

Wes looked at him confused. "Where are you going?" the Asian asked quickly. David walked towards the door. "I need to use the bathroom", David told. "I'll be right back", he added and Wes nodded. "By the way, do you mind if others comes here to see you?"

Wes blinked a few times and then shook his head. "No I guess", he said. "Okay. I'll tell them", the darker boy said smiling and then opened the door, stepping outside and found for his surprise, that the group was already there waiting.

"Can we see him now?" Trent asked hopefully. David just nodded. "Yeah go ahead. I must call one phone call", he told and took is phone out of his pocket. Blaine nodded to him and stepped inside the room, after everyone else.

Wes turned to look at the group of his friends and for his surprise he saw Kurt too. "Hi", he said smiling a little, but his friends just stared at him. Until Thad particularly ran to him and hugged the older boy. "You're an idiot, Wes", Thad said quietly and Wes felt him shaking a little. "Don't ever do that again!" the younger boy yelled and leaned back to look at Wes' eyes. Wes nodded slowly. "Sorry", he mumbled.

Thad stood up and let others hug Wes' too. Kurt hold Wes tighter than anyone else and Wes' felt something wet on his shoulder. The blue eyed teen was crying. "I am so sorry, Wes", Kurt said weakly and Wes looked pretty confused for a moment. "What? Why are you sorry?" the Asian asked confused. "Your mom Wes…" the boy whispered. Wes opened his mouth to say something, but closed it right away and instead hugged Kurt tighter.

I took half hour until David came back to Wes' room. "Well, you were pretty long time in bathroom", the Asian blinked. David rubbed back of his neck and smiled sheepishly when Blaine gave him confused look. "Yeah", he said. "Actually, Wes. There is a person who wants to meet you", he continued and Wes narrowed his eyes and looked at his friends confused. "O-okay", he just said. David bit his lower lip and opened the door to let the person in. Nick leaned back to his seat and peered to look at who there was.

Almost 40 years-old, tall man entered the room and smiled a little. This time Trent gave confused look to David, who was staring right at Wes face, to see his expression.

"Dad…" Wes said quietly and little bit shocked. All of them looked at Wes and then this man and then again Wes. "What?" Jeff said now really confused. Wes just stared at his father wide eyed. David cleared his throat. "Come on, let's give them time to talk", he said quietly and led others out of the room.

"What are you doing here?" Wes asked. "I came to see my son of course", Jonathan said little bit hurt. Wes snorted and rolled his eyes. "Where have you been all these years?" the Asian boy asked, staring at the man. Jonathan stood there in silence, before he took a chair and sat on it. "How long have you been at Ohio?"

Jonathan sighed and leaned a little forward from his seat. "I came here this morning and drove right away to Dalton to see you, 'cause you wouldn't answer my phone calls or text messages", the man told. Wes stared at him. "Of course I won't answer those! I haven't seen you like in years and suddenly you pop into my hospital room!" the Asian boy screamed. "Where the hell have you been these years?!" he asked again now little bit louder. Jonathan looked at his son and shook his head. He gave Wes chance to spill all these years pain out.

"I needed you… There was only me and my mom", Wes said. "There was my birthday and every freaking time, when I blow those candles I hoped, I seriously hoped that you would come back to home", the boy told and felt now how the tears started to pour in his eyes. "But no… I went in first grade, were you there? No. I win the song contest, were you there? No, you weren't", Wes said looking brokenly at his father. "My mom couldn't take care of me just by herself, that's why I am at Dalton. I mean I haven't anything against this school this is wonderful, but my mother has to pay this school for me", he snorted humorlessly. "We needed you, dad… But you weren't there."

Jonathan watched as his son started to cry and stood up. He walked slowly next to his son's bed and sat on the edge of it. Wes looked up and stared to his father's eyes. Jonathan spread his arms and hugged Wes tightly. "I'm sorry, Wes that I wasn't there for you", he whispered into his son's ear. "Don't ever do something like this again! Never!"

Wes squeezed his eyes shut and returned the hug for the man. "I-I thought that I lost you too…" Wes' father said. "How did you knew that I was here?" Wes asked as they leaned back. "Well, I drove to Dalton and arrived to your room. Then I noticed that you weren't and some guy told me that you were in hospital", the man started. "Then I drove here and saw this boy, who I remembered to saw in one of yours pictures which were in you dorm room, and I asked where you were", Jonathan told. Wes nodded slowly. "That boy, David, he is my boyfriend", the boy told to his father. Jonathan looked at his son surprised and smiled. "He seemed really good guy."

Wes smiled back. "He really is", he told. Then he went all serious again. "When you have to go back to work?" Wes asked. Wes' father rubbed back of his neck. "Actually I quit", he told and Wes' eyes widened. "I got better job, which had not that much traveling around the country", Jonathan added. Wes nodded slowly and then looked down to his lap. "And of course I wanted to spend more time with my son and know him better", his dad said. "So tell me about yourself?"

Wes bit his lip and thought where he should start. "Well, I'm one of Dalton's best students, I am council president and the leader of our glee club, Warblers", he said trying not to sound so proud. "And I got accepted to NYADA, which is the place where I am going after I graduate", he added. Jonathan looked at his son surprised. "Well, look at that. My son is genius", he said brightly and Wes' smiled at him a little.

The warblers stood at cemetery, watching as Wes stood there, hand linked with David and staring down at his mothers grave. Wes' dad had already went to memorial, but Wes wanted to stay at the grave for a while, before he would come too. Jonathan had nodded sadly and patted his son's shoulder and left.

David looked at Wes and then his mother's grave. There, at the stone were text, which was saying:

Kate Michaela Montgomery

13.8.19XX - 16.4.20XX

"Loved mother and wife"

Wes tightened the grip of his boyfriend's arm and David felt him trembling. David wrapped his hand around the older boy's shoulders and kissed his hair gently. "I miss her already", Wes mumbled sadly. David just nodded, even Wes wouldn't saw it. The darker boy knew that Wes missed him mother. "Why she had to leave me?" the Asian boy mumbled and David didn't knew if he asked it from himself or from David.

Wes placed his head on David's shoulder, eyes never leaving his mother's grave stone. "Can you do favor for me, David?" he said quietly. David nodded. "Anything", he said quietly. Wes stayed quiet for a while. "Sing me something…" he whispered. David looked at Wes and saw that he was close to tears now, so he started to hum.

"When you try your best

But you don't succeed

When you get what you want

But not what you need

When you feel so tired

But you can't sleep

Stuck in reverse"

Wes squeezed his eyes shut and opened them, blinking few more times and not letting go of David.

"And the tears come streaming

Down your face

When you lose something

You can't replace

When you love someone

But it goes to waste

Could it be worse?

Light will guide you home

And ignite your bones

And I will try to fix you"

Nick stared sadly at his friends and then turned to look at Jeff, who was crying and looking down his feet. Nick took a grip of Jeff's hand and the blond looked up at him. Nick smiled gently and wiped tears away with his thumb. Jeff closed his eyes and inhaled deeply, looking back at Wes and David.

Jeff:

"And high up above

Or down below

When you're too in love

To let it go"

Nick:

"But if you never try

You'll never know

Just what you're worth"

David turned to look at the others and saw Nick and Jeff singing next part and holding hands. Then he turned his gaze at Kurt and Blaine, who were behind the brunet. Kurt was staring in front of him and Blaine whispered comforting words into his ear.

Kurt:

"Light will guide you home

And ignite your bones"

Blaine:

"And I'll try to fix you"

Thad looked at his two best friends closer to the grave stone. He felt so sad for Wes and didn't like to see him that sad. Trent was sniffling beside him and looking to the ground and playing with his sleeves.

Trent and Thad:

"Tears stream down your face

When you lose something

You cannot replace

Tears stream down your face

And I"

Nick and Jeff:

"Tears stream down your face

I promise you I will learn

From my mistakes

Tears stream down your face

And I"

David:

"Light will guide you home

And ignite your bones

And I'll try

To fix you…"

Wes looked up to David and smiled a watery smile. "Thank you…"

The warblers came back to Dalton and they all walked straight to the their dorm rooms. David walked Wes to his room in silence. Wes opened his room door and went inside, David right after him. Wes went to his wardrobe and started to take his black blazer off and untied his tie.

"I'm gonna go now", David said and when he was turning around, Wes grabbed his hand. The darker boy turned to look at the older, confused. "Can you… stay with me this night and just… hold me?" Wes asked quietly. "Please?"

David smiled at his boyfriend and nodded. "Of course", he told and hugged the older boy. "I love you", Wes mumbled against the taller boy's shirt. David responded by kissing his head and hugged him tighter. "Love you too."

A/N: hmmh... This was pretty much Wevid... but the good thing was that the WEVID ANGST IS DONE!

so next chapters is containing Niff and only Niff :) and some surprises are coming! ;)

Next chapter is going to be here, maybe next week... I hope so :)