I do not own Star Trek! Unless you count thoes Trek Convention tickets I got online.
This chapter will be a bit slow, but I promise the next chapter will pick up.
Chapter 6: Spock's Thoughts
After T' Pin had left him, Spock did some deep thinking.
'I am meant for T' Pring and no one else, no matter how much kinder that person may be than T' Pring, no, stop thinking that way. It is illogical to act on emotions, which is what I am beginning to do. I've also heard that T' Pin is betrothed; it would be unfair to put her in that situation. It isn't even subject for discussion. Then why do I have such feeling for her? I must be sure to hide these feelings from her, to lock them away inside myself, just like every other feeling I have. Was it because she saved me from those bullies? Yes, that must be it; these feelings were strictly ones of gratitude, weren't they?'
He stood up and paced the room. Hands firmly clasped behind his back. 'Wait,' he thought 'what if this is my first experience of Pon Farr? That would explain my high emotional stress lately and the fact that he felt his body temperature was four degrees higher than normal. No, it only happened to adults. It couldn't happen until I'm much older. Could it? That is the only logical explanation, besides that I may be attracted to her. But that was very unlikely.' Spock sat in the nearest arm chair, looking about the living room, searching for answers. Hoping to God he would be spared the humiliation that was Pon Farr. His hands were shaking. He gripped his hands into fists to keep them from moving anymore. He was suddenly overcome with emotion. 'What if she didn't have feelings for him? What if T' Pin and T' Pell were only his friends because they felt sorry for him?' He took a sharp intake of breathe. The thought was unbearable; He was just barely holding back tears. He stood and walked into his bedroom, locking himself in. He leaned back against the door and slid down to the floor where he sat, trying with all his might to stay in control of his emotions. He gazed ahead at the empty wall. Thinking of how his father would react if he saw his only son in such a state. 'What will he think when I tell him I want to join Starfleet? He'll probably disown me. Cut me off completely. His mother would never do such a thing to her son. She would be proud of him no matter what.' he reminded himself. This made him smile. (Which for him basically is the corner of his lip moved two millimeters up.)