"And I don't think I have ever seen a soul so in despair. So if you want to talk the night through, guess who will be there? So don't try to deny it pretty baby, you've been down so long you can hardly see. When the engine's stalled and it won't stop raining, it's the right time to roll to me." 'Roll to Me', Del Amitri
Brenda slowly opened her eyes, sun streaming into the window of a very unfamiliar room. Looking down, she also noted her clothes were missing. This was an interesting way to wake up. Rubbing her now throbbing head, she took a moment to replay the previous night's events. She remembered arriving at that ridiculous piano bar with the guys, then surprisingly, Sharon showed up. There had been wine and Julio insisted on tequila shots due to something the Captain had said. Oh, and there was some sort of blue bucket? Had Provenza actually gotten on stage with those girls? After that, things were a bit hazy until she went to the bathroom and – oh, mystery location solved. She sighed, not attempting to suppress the wide smile spreading across her face. Flipping toward the wall, she searched for the brunette, but only found an empty bed.
Oh fuck, this was not good. Sharon had no idea how this had happened. She'd been doing so well, firmly resisting the Chief's advances, even when she could have just given in. Why had the Captain even agreed to go out with Major Crimes? Obviously because she wanted this to happen, it didn't take a rocket scientist to figure that one out. The Wicked Witch of FID had a crush. And it just wouldn't seem to go away, no matter how much she tried to talk herself out of it. She shouldn't have followed the blonde into the bathroom, where Brenda had begged the older woman to go home with her. Sharon hadn't gone to someone else's place in years, not when she had a perfectly comfortable foam mattress. Not to mention, at some point she remembered the Chief talking about a cat and she was not interested in getting hair all over her things. It seemed like the most logical plan at the time was just go back to the Captain's instead. But now Brenda was here, in her house, the morning after. And they would have to face each other sometime, if that blonde would ever wake up. The coffee maker brought Sharon out of her thoughts and she grabbed for a mug. Adding the appropriate cream and touch of sugar, she settled into a bar stool around her kitchen island and waited.
Rooting around bathroom cabinets and under the sink, the blonde found an extra, unopened toothbrush. After cleaning her face and teeth, she snatched a robe from behind the door and went to find Sharon. It may have been a little presumptuous to go through the en suite, but hopefully the older woman wouldn't mind. She also made a mental note to find her clothes, eventually, as they didn't appear to be in the bedroom. Hesitating before the last few steps, she started to come down from her post coital bliss. Sharon hadn't responded positively to any of her earlier advances once the initial shock wore off. Why last night? Perhaps the large amount of vodka and Brenda's near begging had something to do with it. And now, the blonde was in her house, unsure of how this first interaction would go. First order of business, she needed a game plan to deal with the lecture that was bound to ensue. But even more importantly, she needed at least one cup of coffee and a handful of aspirin.
Sharon heard footsteps – she needed to pull it together. The last thing she wanted was the Chief seeing her, mid freak-out. Counting back from 10, she prepared for these next awkward moments.
"Hey Cap-, I mean, Sharon," chirped the blonde as she strolled into the kitchen, looking to meet green eyes. She really wanted to go over and plant a kiss on those beautiful lips, but hesitated, unsure of how the other woman would respond.
"Chief, good morning," deadpanned the brunette, staring down at her beverage.
Well, of course Sharon would return to the comfort of her Captain Radydor façade. That front wouldn't do, especially if they were going to have any kind of honest conversation about the night before. Glancing around the room, the blonde found the coffee machine and grabbed the extra mug on the counter. She poured a generous amount of the brown liquid and added a few spoonfuls of sugar. Sighing into the cup, she welcomed a little caffeine in her bloodstream. After a few more large sips, she turned to face the other woman sitting across the counter and decided to lighten the mood.
"I still can't believe Provenza last night. Who knew the man enjoyed that big butts song so much? I was laughin' so hard I nearly peed." Brenda let out a chuckle at the thought.
"Well, it is a rather catchy song, Chief," the older woman politely responded, finally looking up.
"Alright, Sharon. I think we can cool it with the 'Chief' nonsense. You've been callin' me Brenda outside of work for a while, in case you forgot. As much as I'm sure I'll enjoy watchin' you talk your way out of what happened last night, I think we should just maybe try bein' honest about whatever this is, since it's obviously not goin' away," she huffed, nervously chewing at her lip.
"And what exactly is this? What are we doing?"
Oh Lord, the Captain wasn't wasting any time and Brenda could see the irritation spreading across her face. Just then, the blonde's stomach growled and it gave her an idea. She needed to get them out of the house, as soon as possible. The CIA had taught her the best way to break someone was to lure them out of their comfort zone. And being in Sharon's house, the older woman had a serious advantage. Obviously the brunette felt something, otherwise she would have never invited her back last night. And now, all Brenda needed was an honest answer from the Captain about what she was feeling. That bitchy front needed to go.
"I'm starvin', can I buy you breakfast?"
"Brenda, you're avoiding the question." Sharon made a point to pronounce the other woman's name with a little extra emphasis.
"Well, I'm sure I could answer all that just as easily over food," smirked the blonde.
Sharon was hungry, she hadn't gotten a chance to get to the store recently. Perhaps breakfast wasn't such a bad idea? Being in public would hopefully deter the Chief from doing anything too bold. And this way, the older woman could drop Brenda off at her car and make it home in time for that Real Housewives marathon she saw advertised on Bravo.
"Breakfast doesn't sound terrible, I guess. I'll change and we can go." The older woman stood up and headed for the stairs.
"Uhh, Sharon? I don't really have anythin' to wear and I was hopin' I could…"
"Sure, let me just grab you some things and I'll be right down," called the brunette, already halfway to her room.
Brenda was ecstatic, things were starting to look up. She finished her coffee, depositing the cup in the sink, and went to the living room in search of her purse. As far as she remembered, she'd brought it into the house, but hadn't noticed it in the Captain's room. Locating it by the front door, she rummaged through and found her phone. She crossed her fingers that no one had been murdered in the last 14 hours. Thankfully, she found no new calls or messages. Perfect. While on her little hunt, she also managed to find her clothes in a pool around the couch. Stuffing the garments in her oversized black bag, she sat and waited for the brunette to return.
Sharon threw on an old pair of jeans and a worn green polo. The faster she got dressed, the sooner this could all be over. Slipping into a pair of beloved Sperry's, she proceeded to grab yoga pants and a fitted tank for the blonde. She figured they were about the only thing she owned that would fit the Chief's small frame. After switching off the light, she exited for the stairs.
The car ride was uneventful, neither wanting to break the silence. Brenda fiddled with the radio, trying to find something to take her mind off this awkward situation. She heard Sharon let out a small chuckle as she settled on a country station. Were they really singing about sugar daddies and hell on heels these days? Her Mama and Daddy would be appalled.
"What's so funny?"
"You're just incredibly predictable." The brunette allowed herself a slight smirk as she looked over to meet brown eyes.
"Well Sharon, I am from the south. Not likin' country music is basically a sin. What kind of music do you pseudo Yankees enjoy?"
"Actually I don't mind country, both of my daughters were quite fond of it growing up. Something they picked up from their father, I guess." Sharon's mind drifted to dancing with her girls, hairbrushes in hand, listening to that horrible 'Achy Breaky Heart' far too many times. They had played it so much the record finally gave out.
"How incredibly unpredictable of you," declared the blonde as she slide down further into the seat.
They arrived at a diner, a few miles away from the brunette's house, which was rather empty for a Saturday morning. Wanting a little privacy for the conversation that would most likely occur, they selected a corner booth in the back. Browsing the menu, Brenda settled on chocolate chip pancakes with extra whipped cream and Sharon opted for oatmeal and a fruit salad.
"So…now that we're here, I would appreciate if you would answer my question. What happened last night was a mistake, and we can't keep…" The blonde couldn't listen to another speech from the Captain about professionalism, their reputations, etc.
"Sharon, stop. I can't handle hearin' another one of your lectures about how this is a mistake and how we can't go breakin' rules. Can you just stop analyzin' this for two seconds?"
"I can't just turn it off. Whatever keeps happening between us could seriously jeopardize our professional reputations, not to mention get us fired." What Sharon didn't want to say was this was also jeopardizing her sanity. She had serious feelings for the chief, and hadn't felt anything like this in a long time. But she had no idea how Brenda felt. And she would most certainly not be some mid-life lesbian fling for the younger woman. Oh god, was she a lesbian? She had always noticed a beautiful woman, but this was the first time she could ever remember wanting to kiss another female senseless. Maybe it was just a one-time thing? No need to go buying a rainbow flag just yet.
This conversation was not going as Brenda planned and her frustration was building as the seconds passed. She couldn't figure out how to make Sharon understand that this could be something. The sex last night had been amazing, no denying that, but it was all the other things that the older woman did that drove her crazy with desire. The Captain was loyal to a fault, seemed to be an incredible mother, and generally liked being around her, as long as they were keeping it 'G' rated. She challenged the blonde in ways that no one else had and didn't always let her get her way, which was sometimes annoying, but always thrilling. There was never a dull moment between them. Brenda was tired of dancing around her feelings and decided to just be honest. She let out a loud sigh, hoping the brunette wouldn't respond poorly, but preparing for the fallout, just in case.
"Look, I never expected somethin' like this to happen…but it did. And now you're all I think about. I hear clickin' of heels down the hall, and hope it's you that turns the corner. I find myself wantin' to kiss you during almost every case we work together, even when you're mad at me. Well, especially when you're mad at me, mostly just to shut you up. You keep sayin' we can't do this, but I'm wonderin' if you really mean it? You could have said no last night, you could have dropped me off. But you brought me home, with you." Brenda looked up, expecting Sharon to turn away, but found green staring back.
The Captain felt her heart do that little flip, she was shocked by the blonde's candid declaration. Maybe Brenda was right, they obviously both felt the chemistry, it wasn't just in her head. And as much as she wanted to ignore it, follow the rules, and move on, something was pulling her back. That something was currently sitting in front of her, looking quite nervous. Well, if the younger woman was going to lay it all on the line, she deserved the same in return.
"I just, it's just, it's been a really long time since I've felt like this about anyone."
"Shar, I'm scared too, but I wanna give us a shot. I can't keep pretendin' that I don't want this, I want to try." Brenda covered the brunette's hand with her own, lacing their fingers together.
"But what if it doesn't work out, then what? How are we supposed to work together?" Sharon glanced over, blushing at the simple gesture. As much as her head was saying it was wrong, this just felt so right.
"We'll just go back to hatin' each other's guts like we did for the last few years," intoned the blonde.
"Brenda, I never hated you. I just found you annoying and utterly unprofessional."
"Since we're bein' honest and all, I thought you were pretty hot. Especially when you were mad. That could've been part of the reason I was always pushin' your buttons," the Chief smirked and gave her companion an exaggerated wink.
"You thought I was hot?" How could anyone possibly think she, Sharon Raydor, was hot? After all, she was almost 60. She knew she looked pretty good for her age, but hot was something she hadn't heard in a long time.
"Absolutely…So, lets cut to the chase. Do you think maybe you would consider givin' us a try? We don't have to make a big deal about it and we definitely don't need to say anything at work, unless you want to. I just want a chance to take you out on a proper date. If you have a horrible time, we can just go back to bein' friends, or enemies." Brenda had been planning this hypothetical date in her head for weeks, hoping that one day it would be more than just a pipe dream.
"I'm going to assume you won't stop pestering me until I agree. So fine, I will go on one date with you." Sharon exclaimed, trying to hide the excitement.
"Great, what are you doin' the rest of the day?" It took every ounce of self-restraint the blonde had to not jump up and down for joy, things were finally turning around.
30 minutes later, Sharon pulled into the bar parking lot. Brenda turned to the older woman and for a moment they just stared, smiling like a couple of high schoolers, excited for what the afternoon would bring. The brunette finally closed the space as lips brushed. Brenda didn't want to ever stop kissing the woman, but she still had so much to do. Slowly, she pulled away, broad smile across her face.
"As much as I would love to keep kissin' you for the rest of the day, I need to get home and change for our date."
"Hmmm, can't wait," Sharon practically purred.
Brenda planted another quick kiss on the brunette's lips and got out of the car. Before closing the door, she turned,
"I'll be over in an hour, remember a bathing suit."
Bathing suit? Seriously? It was March and Sharon had gotten a bit lax when it came to her usual diet and exercise routine. She wouldn't be bikini ready for at least another month. Pulling into the driveway, she practically tripped up the porch and bolted for the shower. Once clean, she tried on a few different suit combinations before settling on a jeweled center, burgundy bandeau top and black bottoms. It was reveling, but did offer some coverage. Hopefully the blonde would like it. She finished the ensemble off with a black tunic cover up and her favorite pair of rainbows. Grabbing her purse, beach bag, and towel, she checked the clock and found that Brenda would be here in a few minutes. She decided to wait downstairs and turned on a rather ridiculous episode of Real Housewives of Atlanta. Hopefully mindless trash would help calm her nerves.
Brenda was fully prepared to badge her way out of a ticket as she sped home, making it there in 10 minutes flat. She jumped in the shower and wasted no time performing her usual rituals. Clean and fuzz free, she shimmied into her favorite peacock-blue triangle top and matching side tie bikini bottoms. She gave herself the once over in the mirror. The suit was pretty revealing, but that's what she was going for. Satisfied, she tied her hair up in a messy bun and threw on a pair of tight jean shorts and gray tank top, slipping her feet into some old sandals. She found a beach towel and bag in the back of her closet and headed to the living room to retrieve her purse, keys, and beverages. The Chief was out the door in under 30 minutes, another new record.
Sharon heard the car pull up and tried to take a few cleansing breaths, not remembering the last time she had been this nervous. If she had any hope of enjoying this, she needed to calm the fuck down. Knowing how impulsive the younger woman was, she couldn't be sure if this thing would last, so she wanted to savor every moment. The brunette heard a light knock and opened the door to find Brenda on her front step, looking absolutely gorgeous with wet hair and no makeup. The younger woman cocked her head and gave Sharon a wide smile.
"You ready, Shar?" Brenda couldn't help but notice how stunning the brunette was, especially in casual wear. As Sharon started down the porch, the blonde grabbed for her hand, lacing their fingers together, pulling the Captain in for a quick kiss.
"I think so. Will I need anything besides a towel?" Sharon squeezed the other woman's hand as they slowly walked the rest of the distance to the car, fingers still laced.
"Nope, nothin' else I can think of."
Once settled in the Crown Vic, Brenda grabbed her phone and pulled up the GPS app, giving it a chance to search for the best route. She glanced over her left shoulder and made sure the road was clear before pulling on the street and heading for the PCH. A few quick turns later, they were on the highway. Brenda switched on her iPod, then cruise control. Keeping one hand on the wheel, she rested her other hand on Sharon's thigh. The brunette flinched at the contact, then rested her hand on the blonde's. Perhaps the Captain could get used to all these displays of affection.
"So, where are we going?" Sharon was interested to see what Brenda had planned, especially when left to her own devices.
"I was thinkin' since you love swimmin' so much, maybe we could head to the beach and grab a late lunch after."
"Sounds perfect," husked the older woman.
They were quiet for most of the drive, exchanging heated glances and stealing quick kisses when traffic would allow it. Both simply enjoying the other woman's company.
Sharon couldn't help but think about how they had gotten here, to this moment. Who would have thought rule-breaking Brenda would ever steal the Captain's heart? The brunette was never one to casually date, settling down only when it felt safe. And as far as she could remember, she'd never had such strong feelings so quickly. The frightening part was not all of those feelings were positive. Brenda was the most irritating and challenging person the older woman had ever met. They were similar in so many ways, which lead to almost constant battles. How could this possibly work out long-term?
The exit was a few miles away when Brenda looked over and noticed the older woman staring out the window, brows furrowed. She always made that face when she was upset, especially during investigations that didn't go her way. The Chief could only imagine what was going through her head now.
"Shar, I can feel you thinkin' over there. You're not real good at hidin' it, although usually you give me that look right before you start lecturin' me. What's on your mind?"
"Just thinking, that's all." She gave the blonde a slight smile, hoping that would be enough to drop the subject.
"Well, why don't you stop thinkin' and enjoy today. You know, you don't have to go figurin' everything out now."
Brenda exited the highway and parked on a side street. Gathering their belongings, the women walked the short distance to the beach. After setting up their towels, Brenda shucked off her shorts and tank, looking over at the Captain to do the same. Sharon hesitated, but figured they had both seen each other naked the night before. There was really nothing to hide at this point. Cover up's off, they settled down side by side. The blonde started to rummage through her beach bag until she felt cans. Glancing to her left, she smiled at the older woman before producing two beers and red solo cups.
"You aren't serious, Brenda Leigh." Oh wow, had Sharon just called the blonde that? She had only ever heard the other woman's parent's use her full name. But somehow, it just seemed to fit. The Chief was really turning her into a sap.
"What? I couldn't go pullin' out a bottle of wine, it isn't really a great beach drink. And neither is vodka, Shar, so don't go askin' me if I brought any of that either."
"If I loose my badge over this, I swear…" warned the brunette.
"You'll what? Come on, live a little. I even brought you this lovely red cup, so nothing's gonna happen. And if it makes you feel better, I can draw a witch on a broomstick and…" Brenda felt a light elbow to the side.
After a few sips, Sharon was itching to get in the water.
"You do know how to swim, right? Do they even have beaches in Atlanta?" The brunette assumed she'd been in water before, but Brenda was always full of surprises.
"Don't you worry, I can handle myself in the ocean. We don't really have beaches, mostly just pools. And if you have a friend with a truck…you can always fill up the bed with the hose. You know, a 'redneck pool'," chirped the younger woman.
Sharon rolled her eyes and stood up, extending her hand to the blonde. After securing her hair, they headed down to the water. Now it was the blonde's turn to hesitate, forcing the older woman to practically drag her past knee-deep.
"Come on, you told me you could swim," groaned the brunette, pulling the other woman past chest level. It wasn't like they were going to swim laps, but the Captain did enjoy actually swimming in the water, not wading in it.
"I can, it's just, it's so cold." Brenda shivered, it couldn't be more than 60 degrees in the deeper water.
"Ugh, come here." Sharon pulled the younger woman into her arms, allowing the blonde to wrap her legs around her waist. Pressing their foreheads together, the brunette took the opportunity to steal a few kisses before resting her head on the Chief's shoulder. Brenda squeezed in tighter, hands lightly roaming across the other woman's back as she planted a light peck on her check.
"So, Shar, how's the date goin' so far?"
"Hmm, so far so good. Although I don't know about her taste in drinks, she definitely lost some points there," intoned the Captain, playfully.
"Well, good thing it's not over yet. I've still got time to make things up to you," flirted the blonde as she leaned in for another kiss. While it started innocently enough, Brenda began lightly biting Sharon's bottom lip. She knew it drove the older woman mad. Soon the kiss became hot, needy, and hands started to wander. The Captain took control and began kissing down the blonde's neck, over her pulse point, eliciting a rather large moan. Their shameless necking continued until both heard a throat clear behind them. Turning, they saw what appeared to be a father and son swimming out to catch some waves. The son was obviously enjoying the show, the father, not so much. Sharon blushed, burying her head into the blonde's shoulder while Brenda shot the pair a challenging smirk.
"Maybe we should head up, I'm starting to prune anyway," whispered the older woman.
"I'm gettin' hungry. How 'bout we grab our clothes and find some lunch?"
"Sounds great."
Sharon would never admit it, but this was turning into one of the best date's she'd been on in a long time. Well, ever actually. It hadn't been flashy or expensive, like most men assumed she would like. Brenda had instead opted for sweet and simple, taking into account what the older woman actually enjoyed. And that was something Sharon could get used to.