Star Trek is not my property. I wish it was, but it isn't. I am very self-concience about this hapter and debated even posting it, but, I think this adds something special to Spocks character.
Chapter 19: The Terrible Effects of Pon Farr
T' Pin entered a room marked Mystery. It was a fairly expansive room for just one genera of books. But wait, this is Vulcan's national library; it makes sense that they would want a multitude of books. She entered cautiously, leaving the door open as she went. There were aisles of bookcases stacked top to bottom with books. T' Pin estimated around thirteen aisles. God, she didn't know how Lady Amanda could be in here but she had to look. She walked to the far left of the room and waved through the aisles not finding anything out of the ordinary. So she left and marked the room with an X. She crossed the hallway to the Fantasy room. She switched on the light made sure to leave the door open and again entered the room. This room was considerably larger. She estimated twenty-five rows of floor to ceiling aisles of book cases. She sighed and walked to the far left.
Spock entered the room. The horror section was full of books with red covers (most of the authors were of human decent; Vulcans had better things to do than write fictional stories. They did, however, study human's brain patterns by reading these novels) he hoped he wouldn't find his mother in this section. He started weaving his way down the long rows, combing through the book titles with his eyes as he went. Not finding anything out of the ordinary us left the room. Closing the door, he awkwardly took the lipstick out if his pocket removed the cap and marked that the room had been searched. 'No my god! Help!' Spock heard in his head. Then he heard a scream from a room down the hall. , T' Pell or T' Pin. He bolted towards the room he heard the scream from, the room was marked Science Fiction. This room was different, along the back wall there was a door. He ran to it and tried the handle; it was locked, of course. He heard someone running behind him, he turned to see T' Pell and her long locks of hair swinging behind her. They just had to make eye contact to know something was wrong.
"I think someone took her. They had no place else to go but through here." Spock said gesturing towards the door.
T' Pell tried the handle herself and it didn't budge. "We could try to break it down." she said eyeing the door. And as if on cue the door opened to reveal a Vulcan teenager. Spock didn't recognize him, he looked like he was a bit younger than them. He looked startled by their sudden appearance and pointed an obvious weapon at them although he didn't recognize what it was, it looked deadly.
"Put your hands up." the boy said, Spock and T' Pell obliged. "Now come with me." he said turning around, mistake. Spock went in for a neck pinch but the kid was too fast he turned and grabbed Spock's hand twisting it behind his back and he made Spock kneel on the ground.
"Stop it! Leave him alone!" T' Pell yelled and ran over to help her friend but just wound up in the clutches of their opponent. Leaving Spock on the ground moaning in pain, he grabbed T' Pell by the arm and pulling her closer, he put the crook of his elbow around her neck and with the other hand he pointed his weapon at her temple. In great pain, Spock stood to face the teenager. He'd made the mistake of trying to pick a fight with someone who was going through the advanced stages of Pon Farr. For a moment they all stood there unsure what to do next. T' Pell tried to break free but their advisory just tightened his grip around her neck.
"Are you with the people who abducted my mom?" Spock asked.
"Yeah, and that bitch got what was coming to her." the young 'man' said. Spock felt himself start to become very hot, he clenched his fists until they were shaking. "I just I hope I get to be there when you see what happened to her. I can't wait to see your face." the boy laughed cruelly. While he was busy mocking Spock's pain, T' Pell elbowed him in the side, he doubled over and She escaped his constricting hold on her. Spock approached their villain and easily knocked his weapon so it flew halfway across the room. The young man took a short swing at Spock. He blocked it easily and returned one to his face. Suddenly the fighting was exhilarating. If felt so natural to beat the crap out of this complete stranger, it felt like he was defending her honor. Making him pay for the Hell she must be experiencing delivering punch after punch until he was reduced to a bloody pulp, he laid their on the floor no longer moving, or breathing. T' Pell turned to Spock; she didn't know whether to thank him or yell at him. He'd saved her from a truly cruel person, but was his death really necessary? She looked at him only to find that Spock was staring at the dead body and hyperventilating.
"Spock, what is it?" she asked trying desperately to calm him down He just stared at her, not the way he normally did, there was an aggressive urgency in his eyes that worried T' Pell, she took a step back. "Spock?" He walked up to her and looked down into her deep blue eyes; he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close. "Spock I don't know if now would be the best time." He cut her off with a kiss. She'd dreamt about this very moment for years, and kissed him back. But wait, something was off, it wasn't at all like she had thought it would be. Something was wrong, the embrace felt wrong, it wasn't loving or caring, it was forceful. He was way too forceful. When she tried to push him away, he just put his hands on her hips and pulled her closer, making it hard to move. She started to panic, how far was he going to go? Instead of her lips, he started kissing the crook of her neck. Then she remembered what she had learned about Pon Farr that males would often fight for their mates, and always to the death, which was kind of what he had just done. He had just saved her from an opponent that tried to harm her and he had killed him, that added to the advanced stages of Pon Farr was not a good combination.
Realizing what was happening she pushed against his chest with all her might and barely managed to free herself. She just looked up at him, still in his arms but not his embrace. "Spock, stop it's the Pon Farr that's maki..." he forced his mouth back onto hers, putting his hand on the back of her head, with more passion and aggression, so she couldn't escape him. But this time, as he kissed her, he started pushing her back until she collided with the wall, while running his hand through her hair; he started forcing her to slide down the wall until they were both kneeling. He was so strong, she was sure if he wanted to, he could crush her head, snap her neck like a pencil, whatever tickled his fancy, he would make sure it happened. She got the feeling something ELSE was on his mind though. He began feeling his way down her back. She kept trying to squirm out of his reach, but he was far too strong. He seemed to be acting blindly, emotionally because the gentleman in him that was always so evident had completely disappeared. Making his way lower down her back he grabbed her butt, which threw T' Pell off completely. She instinctively flinched away from his hands and towards him. Which didn't help her at all; as a matter of fact he seemed more aroused by it. He started searching for the hem of her pants, which wasn't very hard to locate. He started tugging her slacks down her body, she couldn't believe it, she whacked his hand away. He grabbed her hands and pinned her against the wall. Her head collided with the concrete, and she felt a warm sticky substance start to emanate form the point of impact. She winced, not even a wince, her eyes were sealed shut with what could only be described as an effort to use the physical pain to mask the emotional. SO she "winced" from the pain and the fact that he was now leaning in to whisper into her ear. She tried to back up as far as possible, but the wall kept her where she was.
"You have no idea, what I go through every day. Let me just have this." he breathed into her ear, she felt his hot breathe on her ear. She just stared at him wide eyed and she felt a tear stream down her face. "Spock, enough, It's me. It's T' Pell, your friend. You need to calm down!" she practically screamed. While she spoke she was searching for an exit, but she was completely trapped between the wall and Spock's grip on her wrist. He began pushing her down onto the floor, without hurting her. He pinned her hands to the floor under his own and started kissing her neck again. "Think about what you are doing" T' Pell tried to reason with him, but he didn't seem to be listening. He stopped only to make his way back to her hips and start pulling at her pants again
"No!" she screamed as he managed to remove her pants completely. She down right shrieked to try to get him to snap back to reality, or get someone to come in and make him stop. That was the final straw; if she didn't stop him soon it'd be too late. She battled for a moment against his strength, trying to push him off of her. But he just moved onto getting her shirt off. She bent her knees against his chest and pushed him off with all her might. He fell over across from her. The door, the door, where was the God Damned door! She spotted it and ran, but he was faster, still on the ground he managed to grab her ankle and pull her to the floor. She shrieked with alarm and terror. He pulled her next to him and tried to get back on her but she was ready, she slapped him across the face, to end the madness, before he had a chance to do anything he would regret later. It hurt to hurt him like this again, but if she didn't stick up for herself, no one would. He backed up from the force of the hit; he was caught so off guard by it he fell over again, but this time it was different, she could feel this weight lift, as though an imaginary cloud that been blurring his judgment had just been lifted, the atmosphere was no longer hostile either, it was sorrowful. He just lay on the ground legs spread out in front of him eyes wide. Recovering from the disturbing experience, T' Pell wanted to go to Spock, to apologize and comfort him, but she was afraid to. If Spock tried to force her clothes off again, she feared she would not escape until nothing was left to defend. "Spock, listen to me!" she said slowly and cautiously crawling over to him, while pulling her shirt back down. She sat next to him. He was staring off into space; he looked as though he had just realized what he had been trying to do. She grabbed his shoulders gently and looked into his dark brown eyes. "It's almost over okay, later, we'll get you to T' Pring right after we find your mother and all of this will be over." she said emphasizing the word 'mother'. She looked at him all the frantic and aggressive panic was gone from his face. He was just staring off thinking about what he had just tried to do to T' Pell.
"I regret my actions and hope you can forgive me, I am not myself." Spock said sitting up completely straight. What had he been doing? He was repulsed by his own actions. He stood and put the back of his hand to his mouth trying to remain calm and think about what they should do next.
"I am so sorry." he said unable to meet her eyes out of shame. She picked up her pants and put them back on.
"It's ok. Can we keep this just between us though?" she asked buttoning her pants closed.
"Of course." Spock said now unable to do anything but stare straight ahead, unable to even think of what he might have done if she hadn't been able to stop him.
"Spock look at me" He forced himself to meet her eyes. He didn't find them filled with hate or anger, but instead with sorrow. She sat next to him and took his hands. "It's okay, I'm fine, it isn't your fault." she said a hand going to the back of her bleeding head, trying to cover the blood stained hair, with clean hair.
"It is my fault, I never should have tried to kill him, only knock him unconscious. I...I'm sorry." was all he could manage he wanted to keep repeating it, how could he have done one of the very things his bullies had done to her.
"I am truly fine, please trust Me." but truthfully, it had been pretty terrifying, the way he had tried to force his tongue into her mouth. But there had to be forgiveness, without forgiveness they would never get to Amanda in time.
"Are you absolutely sure I didn't hurt you in any way?" Spock asked. She smiled and gave him a kiss on the cheek. He felt himself shed a tear, but quickly wiped it away.
"I assure you, I am fine." she said looking him square in the face, giving him an unnatural smile. She stood grabbing his hands and making him stand up as well.
"Come on, let's go get your mom." she said walking behind him so he couldn't see her face, she started to cry. She didn't know where the tears were aimed, at the Kidnappers, for ruining her best friend's life and Spock's mother's, at Spock for what he had tried to do, or at herself for allowing him to go so far. At the fact she will never be able to look at him the same way, or the fact that he will never forgive himself for what almost happened.