THE NAME

"AND AGAIN." BELKIN ORDERED HER as he removed the wooden cane from her arm. Sinniralin grimaced and rubbed it before getting back up on her feet. As she did so he rapped his cane at her again. It connected with the side of her face. Pain flared up and her ear rang from the blow as she tasted blood in her mouth. Anger welled up inside her. She hated it when Belkin did that. It always made her feel as if he toyed with her, humiliating her on purpose. She gritted her teeth, cursing under her breath in frustration, lashing out with her own cane at him.

He deflected it easily with a lazy flick of his cane, whacking it at her knees in response to her attack. It hit her with such force she stumbled forwards. Feeling her temper flare she attacked again. This time angrier and more forceful, screaming as she attacked him. Her cane crashed into his ribs. She could feel the cane vibrate in her hand from the impact and she grimaced slightly. Belkin barely flinched, but used his cane to sweep her feet from under her. She fell like a stone grunting loudly as her shoulder slammed into the ground.

"Watch your legs Sin." Belkin instructed, his green eyes focused and scrupulous. "Now again."

Pain shot through her shoulder, little black dots swimming before her eyes, her head spinning from the earlier blow. "I can't." she muttered where she lay on her knees clutching her shoulder.

"I said again." Belkin's cane hit her other shoulder causing her cry out in agony.

"I can't! It hurts!" She growled angrily.

He swung the cane at her head in response. Her eyebrow and bottom lip cracked open at impact and she slumped onto the ground stunned with pain.

"Your enemies won't care for your pain. There are no second chances in life Sin. Second chances are for people who depend on luck. You, Sin will depend on your skills alone. You will be invincible." And with that Belkin left her bleeding in the pouring rain on the muddy sparring fields.

.

.

Sin lifted her gaze. She had hated Belkin that day, and quite frankly for the rest of that month, her pride and ego severely injured. But he had been right. If the enemy knew about your pain they would have the advantage. You had to control your pain on the battle field, block it out. Sometimes it was the only thing that stood between life and death. Belkin had been wrong about the other thing though. She was not invincible. As skillful as she was, she could be defeated. Though not killed… She rubbed her side absentmindedly. The wicked element that lived inside her somehow kept her alive when she shouldn't be. The injury she had suffered from the battle with Uldred was the second injury that should have killed her, still, here she was. She had seen her side. It looked as if a sabre tooth or some other kind of animal had ripped off a large chunk of her side. She should at least be deformed, but there was nothing but a large scar. It would soon fade to a faint line just like her other scars. The ones on her back from the flogging in the dungeon still hadn't faded, but they too would, unlike someone else's scars…

Her eyes fell on the bard who walked next to Deanna underneath the proud crowns of the forest. The stream twisted and turned next to them, its pleasant pooling of water their constant companion as they followed the overgrown, grassy path. The bard seemed in a lighter mood today. Last night she had gone through something, something she didn't want to talk about the other night at the campfire. Whatever it was Leliana had pulled through, she was strong no doubt, but it had broken something within her, Sin could see that. Part of her wanted to ask the bard what it was, she found herself curious of the bard, intrigued. Leliana was like sugary pastry. Sin had found herself being wary of the bard at first thinking no one could possibly be so… pert, but then the other night she'd seen the battle raging on inside the bard and for some unknown reason she had wanted to stop it. Pulling her hood up she felt herself blush slightly. It was stupid. It was Leliana for Maker's sake. It was she-who-did-the-smiting. Sin still hadn't figured out why the bard had that effect on her, when no one else did. There was something more to the bard. Either Leliana wasn't telling the truth or she didn't even know it herself.

"Do you care to tell me what it is you are?" Sin turned her head to see the witch walk up next to her.

"I thought it was quite obvious." Sin said in her characteristically nonchalant voice pointing at her ears as she pulled down her hood.

"'Tis a good thing you don't look like a jester then." Morrigan sniped at Sin who simply chuckled in response.

"Why are you so eager to know Morrigan?" Sin asked keeping her face turned towards their destination.

"You're not going to tell me, are you?" Morrigan narrowed her eyes.

"I can always be persuaded." Sin grinned.

"Well, how? Tell me and it shall be yours." The witch said eagerly.

"Why don't you come to my tent and I'll show you?"

Morrigan stopped, her face contorting in anger. "Don't toy with me elf. I have little patience for games."

"Too bad, I know some pretty fun ones we could play." Sin smiled inwardly, she knew this would scare the witch off. It had taken her one look at Morrigan to know the witch's biggest fear – intimacy. Turning towards the witch she smiled seductively, her eyes half lidded. That should send the right signal to the witch.

Morrigan seemed to think of something to say her lips thinning, subconsciously crossing her arms. Sin hesitated. Was the witch considering her proposition? Morrigan blushed before throwing her hands angrily in the air as she hissed at Sin. Then she stalked off angrily shoving Alistair to the side as she passed him. He yelped as he nearly stumbled and fell.

"Please tell me you're not agitating Morrigan for pure pleasure." Deanna said as she tossed her helmet to Sin who caught it easily.

"Oh, but it's so easy to get her where I want her." Sin moaned as she squeezed the helmet gleefully.

"Please don't. She's a liability as it is already. Don't go making her shove poor Allycat." The teryness chided the elf who giggled in response. "I mean it Sin." Deanna tried to sound stern, failing miserably.

Sin smiled. It had been a while since the two of them had been walking together, alongside each other like this. Things had been different then. Shrugging she held the helmet in front of the warden.

"And why am Icarrying this, might I ask?"

"Because you love me." Deanna said sweetly.

Sin remained silent, laughing half-heartedly as she looked up at the bard. Don't be ridiculous.

"So how is she doing?" She asked casually, nodding towards the bard.

"Leliana?" Deanna frowned looking at the bard who was picking flowers, humming to herself. "Uhm…fine? She's picking flowers."

"Did she say anything about last night?" Sin felt as if she was prodding into someone else's business by asking Deanna instead of asking the bard directly. She would if she knew how to.

"Last night?" Deanna's voice seemed to get slightly high-pitched.

"Yes, well…" Sin watched the teryness face. Was that..? No, it couldn't be. Why would Deanna be jealous, she was seeing that fool. It was the one thing Sin and Morrigan could agree on. "Are you jealous?" She teased.

Deanna laughed nervously. "Hah! You wish." She grabbed her helmet from Sin's hand. "Me jealous. That's, that's, now… that is just- just silly."

"Of course it is." Sin winked giving the teryness a gentle puff with her shoulder. "So… it's agreed then?"

"What is?" Deanna looked confused.

"Friends? Yes. All forgotten? Since you're not jealous or anything."

Deanna turned to her looking sly. "Friends, but not everything is forgotten." Then she walked off grinning impishly leaving the elf chuckling as she shook her head.

.

.

Leliana felt uneasy where she walked. She had started to notice something strange, a strange wicked presence. It wasn't always there, but she could feel it like a dull vibration, like a faint pulsating. Glancing over at the other companions she wondered if they felt it too. Sin was walking along side Deanna who wore a strange expression on her face. They walked closely together looking as if they had done so many times before. Sin seemed different around Deanna. More relaxed and at ease, not like the other night, but still much more relaxed than when she was around Sin. The thought stung slightly and the bard found herself staring down at the ground feeling disheartened. Why didn't Sin like being around her? Why did Sin act so strange around her? One minute the elf seemed to shy her like the Blight, the next she was thoughtful and caring sending Leliana a small note with a soup.

The bard sighed. It meant nothing. She was doing the same thing she did with Marjolaine. She saw things that weren't there. Sin was as thoughtful with everyone, not just her. Shooting the couple another glance she saw Deanna turn towards the elf lingering dangerously close before walking off with a grin on her face. The bard watched the elf follow the warden with a peculiar look in her eyes. Leliana frowned. She was missing something.

.

.

Sitting by her tent watching the bard put the meat into the stew Sin flicked the vial with lyrium between her fingers. The bard had figured something out. Sin wasn't sure what it was, but Leliana seemed to be keeping her distance from her. She hadn't tried to talk to her since two nights ago. Sin would have thought the bard might have tried to talk to her after Sin forced Allycat to deliver that message for her. In secret she hoped she would have, but she hadn't. So this is just to prove you wrong and make you think what you know is not actually true…Sin told herself. Not because I like you, because I don't.

Uncapping the vial she downed it and walked towards the bard, edging closer slowly, letting her body adjust to the bard's presence. Leliana looked up from the pot, with a surprised and perplexed look on her face. Sin tried to smile disarmingly as the pain came creeping on. Pressing on despite her head's protest she drew closer to the bard who hadn't taken her eyes off of her. She couldn't stop or Leliana would notice. She may look all deer-eyed and innocent, but those eyes noticed everything. She was an exceptionally good rogue after all. Beads of sweat were breaking out on Sin's forehead and she could feel the pain clawing away at her. The strong voices hissing in her head the nearer she drew.

"Are you alright?" Leliana asked concerned as Sin placed herself opposite her stiffly.

"I'm fine… I'm just… it's been a long day." She offered as an explanation. The bard searched her eyes before returning to her stew. She pulled at the lyrium pushing it towards the demonic essence inside her, weakening it. It hurt and she found it hard to breathe where she sat. Pinching her nose bridge she saw the black veins spread across her hand. She quickly hid it inside her cloak. The lyrium wouldn't last much longer. She had to gain control before it ran out. She is Sàbhailiche kill her. The voices sang to her. No. Kill her. No! She shook her head trying to quiet the voices.

"Do you… can I help you with something?" She managed to wheeze out.

"Here, Sin, you don't sound so good." Leliana said holding out the water skin.

KILL HER!"NO!" Sin screamed clasping her head as her hood fell over it covering her face.

"Sin, what's wrong?" The bard asked grabbing the elf's shoulder. The pain flared up and Sin fell forward. She was too close! I can't do this!Her thoughts were jumbled and unclear.

"I said again!" Belkin whipped his cane at her. She saw it fly towards her with an unpleasant speed as she tried to twist away from it. Taking the blow to the side of her head she cried, Belkin towering over her.

"You are weak Sin. Now get up. GET UP!"

Belkin's voice rang in angrily her head. Taking a deep breath she used all her magic pulling at it, pushing it at the demon inside her. She wouldn't give in to the pain. Belkin had taught her better than that. Drawing magic from the lyrium she built a wall inside her with it trapping it. It took all her strength and willpower. The spirit roared in her head, slashed at her insides, but she kept pushing her magic at it, ignoring the pain. When she had managed to draw lyrium and build a fifth wall around the demonic essence she felt the voices grow silent and the pain ebb away. Breathing slowly she realized she was leaning into the bard's embrace, her forehead pressing against Leliana's collarbone.

"Sin?" Leliana murmured softly.

Sin sat up quickly, blinking in confusion. "I…" I didn't hurt. Looking around them she saw the other companion's stare at them. Laughing nervously she stood up slowly on wobbly legs scratching the back of her neck. "Well, this was… awkward… I think I'm not completely…"

"Sane?" Morrigan said sarcastically from her tent.

The bard shot her a dirty look before returning her attention to Sin. "Here take this. You did suffer quite the wound. You shouldn't walk around so much especially not without food."

Sin nodded still in awe of the absence of the demonic spirit. "Thank you." She mumbled before talking the bowl stalking off into the woods leaving the bard surprised and confused.

.

.

"What's going on with you?"

Sin turned around on the stock she was sitting on, facing the blonde warden. "What do mean?"

"You. There's something different about you…" Deanna said walking up to her.

"It's the bard."

"The bard?"

"Yes…there's something about her."

"What do you mean?"

"She's just no regular bard. I just don't think she's what she says she is. She has this effect on…the thing!"

"Thething? Is it…" Deanna asked in surprise. She'd only ever heard Sin mention the chantry having an effect on the demonic spirit.

"Bad…she makes it stronger, almost as if her presence angers it. It's a battle every time to keep it from transforming me."

"And lyrium doesn't work?"

"Barely."

"Water?"

"What? Well, yeah I guess if you brought me two buckets filled with water I could stand in every time she's near." Sin snorted causing the teryness to giggle at the mental image. "It's not funny." She grumbled.

"But it is." Deanna squinted through an amused smile.

"Will you help me or am I here purely for your entertainment?" Sin slapped the back of Deanna's head irritably.

"Hey! That was uncalled for! Why don't you just…stay away from her then?"

"I don't know…" Sin answered truthfully. Why didn't she?

"Do you…think she's pretty?" Deanna asked carefully.

"What? No! I mean...yes. But that's beside the point!"

Deanna smiled shaking her head patting Sin on her shoulder before leaning in placing a soft kiss on her cheek. "Just as long as she doesn't take my place." She whispered before walking back to camp.

Sin frowned glaring at the teryness' back before returning her attention to her stew.

.

.

"It's all in the head Sinniralin." Croyden, the fat, burly man who had been assigned to teach Sin about alchemy said. Tapping his index finger on the side of his head he smiled knowingly.

"It's not all in the head." Sin retorted stubbornly still angry from another sparring session with Belkin. He was pushing her too hard, her body was full of bruises and cuts and he sparred with her before dawn, late at night, and sent her to Croyden at the most ridiculous hours of the day. She had noticed none of the other crew members were being drilled as hard as she was.

Croyden rubbed his stubbly chin watching her. "What is it kid?" He asked.

"If it was all just in my head then how come this," she slammed her fist into the thick wooden table. "hurts?" She was angry. She was hungry, and she was tired!

"I see. Belkin going a little too hard on you?" Croyden chuckled as he sat down in front of her. "Listen kid, I know you have a lot of questions and I will answer them or you'll grow wrinkles and look like a saggy old wench."

"Better than battered and bruised." She muttered.

"Listen Sin. You are…special. Belkin wants you to be perfect. He wants you to be invincible, and I must ask you, would you not want to know how to spar against your master without feeling pain?"

Sin perked up where she sat slouching.

"Yeah, I thought so, but you must pay attention to me and you must practice and believe in what I say." Croyden looked serious where he sat still stroking his stubbly face. When he saw that he had her full attention he put up a neatly drawn chart on the table.

"Everything in life –as you know Sin – has an action and a reaction, no?"

Sin nodded slowly.

"Well, that is true indeed, it's not always true though to say that the reaction must be felt or known. For example, if I stand on a shore and throw a stone into the forest as far as I can, what will the reaction of that action be?" He looked at her intently expecting an answer.

"The stone eventually drops to the ground?"

"Can you be sure of this?"

"No…" Sin said thoughtfully.

"And why is that?"

"Because I'm not there to actually see it?"

"Exactly. You have performed an action, but you are neither aware nor affected by the reaction."

"I see…" Sin was starting to understand the logic behind whatever Croyden was talking about.

"The same goes for pain. If someone hits you, your brain instantly recognizes that you've been hit, therefore letting you know this by…"

"Inflicting pain?"

He nodded approvingly. "But like any other action the reaction to this can be stopped by a strong mind."

Sin dropped the pen she'd been holding. That was it? A strong mind?

Croyden handed her a candle. "Now go to your room. Practice on the candle. When you can no longer feel the fire burn you, you come back and see me." He said before shooing her away.

.

.

Sin stirred her stew slowly. I had taken her two months to teach her mind how to block out the pain from a burning candle, and it took her two years to learn how to block out the pain from sparring with Belkin. Afterwards Belkin had admitted he was being extra hard on her. It would teach her body to endure an incredibly large amount of pain, and it had, but what the bard inflicted on her she had never felt before. It's all in the head. She heard Croyden's voice remind her as she felt the strange sensation of tiny needles piercing her every limb. Leliana? She turned around. She had not heard the bard approach her, but it was the familiar pain the bard caused her which had alerted her to the bard's presence.

"You're good." She called out to the vast darkness around her.

"Apparently not good enough." Leliana said as she stepped out from the shadows.

"For sneaking up on an elf you are." Sin tried to compliment the bard, but it sounded stupid when she said it. "So, what gives me the honour?" She asked tilting her head.

"I wanted to see if you're ok. You seemed a little distracted earlier."

Sin smiled. "Yes, I was…"

"But you are feeling better now?"

"I am." Looking away from the bard seemed to lessen the pain so she tried to count the stars above their head in a feeble attempt to keep from looking at Leliana. She was…beautiful. Her big eyes were always scouting ahead or looking curiously at something, looking as if she saw the sky for the first time or as if she found someone she held dear in every stranger's face, the red hair a nice contrast to the bard's lovely skin.

"And are you less distracted as well?" Leliana asked as she pulled off her leather boots and dipped her toes into the cool waters of the lake.

Watching the bard Sin found that she wasn't. "I wouldn't say so really." She smiled at Leliana and let her eyes lock with the bard's long enough before looking away, still smiling.

Leliana blushed before lowering her eyes, crossing her arms. "You're using your skills on me!"

Sin laughed. "What skills?"

"Your…your…" She flushed angrily.

"And are they working?"

"Not the least." The bard retorted stubbornly as she sat down next to Sin.

Sin closed her eyes as Leliana's warm body nearly brushed against her arm. Leliana sighed as she lay down on the warm ground.

"It's a clear night tonight." The bard mumbled as she stuck her hands underneath her head.

Sin bent her head backwards staring up at the vast night sky. It looked as if someone had strewn a million diamonds across a dark blanket. "It's quite nice, isn't it?" She mumbled as she ignored the pain.It's all in the head. The more she focused on the line the easier it became to ignore the pain, dulling it to an annoying stinging.

"It's weird…" Leliana pondered.

"What is?" Sin had to sit on her hands not to give in to the temptation of trying to pull out the bard's hand from under her head and put her own hand in it, or lay down next to her.

"How something so simple like a starry night can make you feel so safe. When really…you're never safe."

"You don't have to worry Ellie. Nothing's going to happen. Deanna won't let it, nor will Allycat." Or i.

The bard sat up staring at her. "What did you call me?"

"I… uh… Ellie? I'm sorry I make up nicknames all the time. I won't…"

"My mother used to call me that…" The bard said quietly before smiling widely. "Thank you." She beamed as she leant towards Sin. As Leliana's lips were to brush against her cheek Sin felt something odd change in their surroundings.

"Wait." She whispered, standing up grabbing her daggers. "Trouble ahead."

TO BE CONTINUED…

DISCLAIMER: Everything you recognize from DA:O belongs to BioWare, everything else is my crazy imagination. :D

AN.I think I got one of the nicest reviews ever on the last chapter. :)

So thanks to those of you who review, and read this story!

Again, I have no beta-reader so please excuse any errors you might have found in the text, and feel free to point them out for me! :D

Hope you all had a nice Christmas.

Till next time, enjoy and happy new year. :)

~elmjuniper