HURT

SOMETIMES WHEN SHE THOUGHT ABOUT the red-headed bard she did so with some sense of longing, though it rarely happened. Not because she didn't sometimes miss the bard, but because she wouldn't allow herself to. She let the silk scarf slip between her fingers. It was still draped in the bard's scent despite the years that had passed.

Val Royeaux, no city could compare to its high rising spires and colourful marquees, Marjolaine glanced out across the crowded courtyard. It was in Val Royeaux she had first met the youthful, inviting bard. When she first met Leliana she had been young, young and naïve wanting nothing more than to impress the older master manipulator. Marjolaine had revelled in the attention, soaking up the young girl's infatuation with her. It was not long until she discovered the young girl had very good potential to become a great bard. The young bard had been so pure, still so ripe when she first bedded her. Marjolaine took great pride in that conquest. It was then she had truly made the bard hers.

The bard had been different then. Angrier, bolder, and more adventurous, but in time the bard had grown a conscience or did she always have one? Marjolaine couldn't remember who she was or what her name was before she became Marjolaine. This life was all she knew. This way of living was the only way she had ever lived, the game was her life and once upon a time it had been the bard's way of living as well. Leliana had revelled in the rush of a kill, had taken great pride in how cunning and manipulative she could be. With Marjolaine's mentoring the bard had gotten very far and together they had lived a glamorous life in Orlais as noblewomen. Marjolaine remembered their passionate life together. How they explored each other with such intensity they lay breathless afterwards. How they had experimented together. How Marjolaine had held the bard close as a nobleman plunged into her. The nobleman thrusting into her bard, fucking her hard, the bard whimpering and moaning in-between the two of them. It both enticed and enraged her with jealousy, arousing her greatly.

She had always known though, that it wouldn't last forever. Somewhere along the lines the rules changed and the game became ugly and unlike Leliana Marjolaine had adapted. Still, she could see too much of herself in Leliana. The bard would betray her eventually. Marjolaine knew it as well as she knew the sky was blue. "Sometimes the sky isn't blue, Marjolaine." The bard used to say, but that was just Leliana being the silly romantic that she was. In the underworld there were no grey, only black and white, although somehow the bard never seemed to grasp that. That night in Denerim when Leliana had found out about the content of the documents she had delivered to Commander Raleigh Marjolaine knew that their relationship, their life together would change forever. The time for betrayal had finally arrived.

~•~

Night had settled and the small company had decided to camp outside Denerim before entering the large city to find Brother Genitivi. The camp laid quiet, the crackling campfire and mating crickets buzzing in the serene night. Deanna wrapped her legs around the elf's waist, her back pressed up against a thick trunk as Sin let her fingers stroke her velvety walls, her tongue exploring her mouth once again, smothering the teryness cries of pleasure. Thrusting her hips towards Sin's hand she implored the elf to move faster as she clung on to her, grabbing Sin's tunic with her fist, their sweaty bodies rubbing against each other. Feeling her inner walls throb with the oncoming heat wave she gave one last slow thrust before collapsing into the elf's arms panting heavily.

She had meant to talk to Sin while she was on watch. She needed to know what this thing was. Sin had left. She had broken her heart and as much as Deanna wanted to deny it she never really healed from it. She couldn't remember how they got here. One minute they were arguing the next Sin was pushing her up against the tree kissing her demandingly, and she loved it. Sin's hands burned on her skin, making her whole body tremble with desire. All those feelings from years ago washed over her, the feeling of happiness of joy. It was like being back then, when her family was still alive.

"I've missed you." She whispered as she kissed Sin's silky neck.

"I missed you to Dee." Sin mumbled slowly letting the teryness go as she slipped back into her leathers again before turning to look at her. "Why are we doing this?"

Because I love you. "I don't know…" Hazel eyes met with winter's breath eyes. Love me.

Sin shook her head. "We shouldn't be doing this Dee. We're hurting people."

She knew the elf was right. If Allycat knew he'd be devastated. She sighed as she buttoned her tunic. She had started something with him that she shouldn't have. He was wonderful, caring, cute and he made her laugh, made her feel special, but in comparison to Sinniralin he was…like a rough stone compared to Alindra's shining star. She felt a sting of guilt as she realized that if Sin hadn't returned she would have loved him in her own way. She would have been content with him. Her mother surely would have approved –royal blood and all. But watching Sin she realized she couldn't give her whole heart to the templar. For more than enough of it belonged to the peculiar elf lacing her boots in front of her. Sin said she had loved her…Deanna still clung to that conversation. What about now?

"Sin, I came here to talk to you. When you left…me. Did you..? I mean…do you..?" Her voice trailed off. She couldn't ask her. What if her answer was 'no'?

Sin stood up facing her. "Dee, we…" Her voice seemed to falter. "We had our chance. This, what we're doing here…" She shook her head. "I don't particularly love Allycat, but I don't intend to break his heart either."

Well what about MINE? "Of course not…" Deanna found herself saying. "It's complicated and…I should get back to camp." She threw one last glance at the elf before turning her back towards her walking back to their tent.

The bard was sitting by the campfire when she returned looking pale.

"Are you alright Leliana?" She asked as she sat down. The bard's eyes snapped up towards hers as if she had been lost in thoughts. Strange. The bard had been behaving rather odd lately.

"Yes, I'm fine thank you, what bout you?" Leliana answered before scrunching her nose. "You've got a certain glow about you tonight, don't you?"

Deanna laughed nervously trying to flatten her hair down at the back. "No I don't."

Suddenly the bard grinned looking mischievous. "So…did you and the templar boy..?"

"What?" Deanna spluttered, blushing fiercely.

"Oh you did, didn't you! I know that look." The bard said gleefully as she shuffled closer to the warden before the templar emerged from his tent at the same time as Sin came sauntering out from the forest. The bard's expression changed as she looked from the elf to the warden who seemed to be trying to find something particularly interesting on the ground where she sat.

Deanna prayed silently neither Leliana nor Alistair noticed the elf's wrinkled shirt and messy hair, or the bite mark on her shoulder. Alistair didn't seem to notice, but the bard's meticulous eyes didn't miss a thing and she bit her lip before turning her face back towards the warden.

"Does Alistair know?" She asked quietly.

"Know what Leliana?" Deanna asked testily.

The bard seemed to be weighing her options before looking away. "Nothing. I'm sorry." And with that she withdrew to her tent.

~•~

It had been so easy to use Leliana in her scheme, the young woman trusted her completely, followed her so blindly. Still Leliana held her own confidence, stood tall and proud. Only Marjolaine could unsettle her. She knew this of course, she always had, and she played the bard as she wished. Even when it was all crystal clear as to what those documents were the bard trusted her fully when she said it had been a mistake, returning to the awaiting trap with her. Leliana had been naïve to think that Marjolaine wouldn't use her manipulation skills on her. She would, without hesitation. Or?

Marjolaine turned her head sideways, her thick, shimmering brown hair swaying in the brisk wind as she did so. It wasn't so clear to her any more. She would no doubt betray the bard again were she to be put in the same situation once more, but perhaps not with such ease this time. She had expected Leliana to hate her, but even as they stood in the commander's chamber the bard still loved her. Marjolaine spat venom through her spiteful mouth, hurting the bard even more. You already destroyed me Marjolaine, and still… you're trying to hurt me.

Marjolaine had succeeded. She knew she would. She knew just what to say. The bard stood with her back turned towards her, but had she not she would have seen Marjolaine's pained expression as she spoke a few of the only true words she had ever said to the bard. So I did it first. She had to say it, the game had gone too far, the rules were new and she knew Leliana had gone from being her devoted lover to become her most dangerous enemy. For the first time in years Marjolaine lowered her gaze. It hurt.

~•~

Sinniralin watched the teryness where she walked in her heavy armour underneath the gloomy summer sky. Whatever had happened between them during the past week had been a mistake. She knew she shouldn't have indulged the teryness the first time Deanna kissed her, but she needed the closeness, to feel someone make love to her because she wanted to, not because she was being forced, and she had revelled in the teryness kisses, in her touch. It had been as if she was being alive again, and for a short moment she thought she too could share her life with someone else once all of this was over, once she could return to Nimue and Glub. She shook her head regretfully. Not only had she fooled the teryness into something that could never be, she had fooled herself. She and Deanna were history, no matter how you looked at it. A year ago she thought she would never recover, never mend her broken heart, but somewhere along the line she learned how to live, how to breathe again. I learnt how to live without you.

He gaze fell on Leliana who was walking behind the rest of the group looking fidgety and jumpy. The past few days the bard had grown quieter and quieter, hardly touching her food or her lute and since last night Leliana hadn't so much as glanced at her. She narrowed her eyes before letting her eyes find Allycat. The time had come to grovel for the endearing templar.

"Hello Allycat." Sin said as sweetly as she possibly could walking up to the tall warden.

"No." He said looking suspiciously at her through narrowed eyes.

"What?" Sin said in mock innocence.

"You want something."

She batted her eyelashes at him a few times before grinning. "That obvious, huh?"

"Well, apart from threatening me with beatings and giving me stupid nicknames, you and I don't actually…talk." He muttered where he walked.

"I could call you Allyprat if it would make you fell any better." Sin smiled endearingly at him referring to his nickname. As much as she disliked him, he was quite a nice chap, he just made it too easy for her to tease him, and in all honesty he did take it like a man.

"Oh, ho, ho, ho! You're so funny, quite the little jester." He mocked, feigning a pout.

"Oh you know you like it." She fired off an unarming smile and slapped his behind which caused the tall warden to jump with a high-pitched squeal.

"Ok, ok what do you want?" He said glaring at her before rolling his eyes. "I swear you and Morrigan are sisters lost at birth or something."

"I should hope not, I was thinking of having my way with her." Sin said as the witch walked passed, winking flirtatiously. Morrigan's eyes widened in surprise before giving her the evil eye.

"Oh stop your red glare Morripuss." Sin smiled seductively biting her bottom lip causing the witch blush before snorting irritably.

Alistair grunted behind her. "Have you been put in this world to torment me?"

Sin turned towards him grinning. "No dear Allycat, this is just my favourite thing to do."

"So exactly what was it that you wanted?"

"I want you to suggest to Deanna that Leliana and I should keep watch outside on the marketplace in Denerim tonight."

"Why? Why don't you do it yourself?" He asked frowning.

"Because, and you'll tell no one because if you do…"

"I know, I know, you'll beat me to a pulp." He sighed reluctantly.

"No, I'll see to it you never get to…lick any lampposts."

Alistair stiffened. "How did you –never mind."

"Recently I found a curse, it belonged to the bard." Sin explained.

"Leliana? But why? Isn't she 'oh pretty colours, birds and flowers'?" Alistair asked imitating a woman's voice. Sin stopped dead in her tracks giving him an uneasy stare causing him to clear his throat.

"Please don't ever do that again." She said before starting to walk again. "Anyway. Someone put that curse on her for a reason. Now I want Leliana to tell me who and why. I can't do that with everyone around, especially not Morrigan."

"Why not?"

Sin gave him a tired stare. "For the same reason you haven't told everyone you haven't…"

"Yes, ok. Fine, I get it!" Alistair interrupted her, waving his hands demonstratively in the air.

"Do we have a deal Allycat?"

"Well, how could I say 'no' to such nice threat?" He muttered.

"I owe you." She smiled before reaching up giving him a soft kiss on his cheek before leaving him blushing profoundly as the gates of Denerim loomed above their heads.

~•~

The bard had always thought Marjolaine had left her alone after they parted, but Marjolaine could do no such thing. She told the maleficar she paid for the contract that it was to keep an eye on a potential threat, but even though she never fully admitted it to herself she knew it was a little more than that behind her decision to keep an eye on the bard. The curse followed the bard like a tail, showing Marjolaine her every step. At first Leliana had done nothing, barely getting out of bed for food. She had stayed with the Chantry in a Maker forsaken town. How ironic. Marjolaine thought to herself. Leliana was never one for such lunacy as the Maker. In fact she used to frown upon those who worshipped the Chant. The bard had stayed with the Chantry for quite sometime and Marjolaine found herself beginning to wonder if Leliana was planning something hiding behind a cover as a sister. She was beginning to discard the thought when something had happened. The bard had suddenly decided to leave the Chantry at the very same time as these Grey Wardens had arrived at the small town. Surely this could not be a coincidence. No, Marjolaine knew that there was no such thing as coincidences. But why did Leliana leave with the Grey Wardens? Marjolaine wondered. Had she finally decided to avenge her? Had the time come for when her former student and lover would come after her? Marjolaine had kept following the bard until a week ago when the curse had been broken. It could only mean one thing. Her maleficar was dead and someone must know about the contract and that someone could only be one person.

Lifting her gaze she followed the blood-red hair moving through the crowd. Pushing across the marketplace a smile grew on her face. She had known the bard would come here and she thrived in the fact that she still knew Leliana so well. The bard was barely and arm's length away from her. Reaching for the familiar shoulder a white-skinned elf pushed in-between them seemingly out of nowhere blocking her way. The elf towered above her ominously not moving an inch. Marjolaine tried to side step the elf and follow the bard, but the elf shadowed her movement.

"I think it's time for you to stop following her." The elf snarled dangerously something wicked and sinister burning behind her eyes.

Marjolaine studied her face before turning around. Assessing the new situation she could feel the rush of excitement build. Stalking off she felt the elf's peculiar eyes burn on her back as she once again became one with the crowd. The game was about to begin.

~•~

Leliana gritted her teeth where she crouched below the thick window-ledge sliding the thin picking tool from her waist to pick the locked window to Brother Genitivi's house. When they had tried to find him earlier that night his assistant Weylon had remained adamant that Genitivi was not to be found here, although when Deanna asked if they could look around his house for any clues Weylon had refused shouting for them to get out and leave his sacred home be. Instead they had simply snuck around the corner to see it they could get in another way.

The rain rattled hard against the cobblestones and she blinked away little droplets from her eyelashes. All the companions had seemed miserable in the rain, their cloaks soaking wet. Everyone save the seductress who pranced around in the rain, arms wide open wearing a big smile on her face. It was the second time Leliana had seen the seductress enjoy the rain. She frowned. She had never met anyone who seemed to love the rain as much as Sin did. She smiled at the sight of the elf though forgetting to pick the lock for a slight moment.

The others had been sent away by the elf who complained their stealth ability was as good as an army of ogres. Alistair had agreed they should go make sure that the Gnawed Tavern was safe to stay at for the night. Deanna's eyes had narrowed into two slits when Sin had dismissed the suggestion that Zevran stayed behind with them stating that two were just enough for the job and Alistair had pointed out that it would be better if Zevran circled the Gnawed Tavern making sure no one was following them. Deanna had agreed reluctantly before she and the others headed towards the tavern. Leliana thought she saw Sin and Alistair exchange knowing nods, but dismissed the thought that the two of them would actually get along.

Feeling the familiar click of the lock as it snapped open she signalled with her left hand for the elf that the coast was clear. Turning around when Sin still hadn't come she saw the elf squatting lazily in the rain.

"Psst!" She hissed in annoyance at the seductress who seemed to be doing anything but paying attention to her where she stood signalling. Sin lifted her head looking at her with her sultry smile before walking up to her.

"So much for being discrete." The bard muttered rolling her eyes at the seductress who stalked up towards her grinning widely. "I see you like the rain."

"You have no idea…" Sin mumbled before turning to face her.

"So you want to tell me what's bothering you?"

"T-there's nothing bothering me…" Leliana tried to slither.

"Did you know that you pick your belt every time you lie?" Sin asked flatly.

"I…" The bard removed her fingers that were picking nervously at her belt. Sin turned to her smirking.

"Why do you like the rain so much?"

"Why are you changing the subject?" Sin moved closer.

"Why are you so persistent?" Leliana retorted defensively.

"I like the rain because it makes me feel free and I want to know because I…like you." The elf stated matter-of-factly.

Leliana smiled slapping Sin's arm. "You're trying to use you charm on me to get me to talk."

"I could just use my magic." Sin grinned at the bard.

"You wouldn't!" Leliana gasped.

Sin's eyes grew mischievous. "Are you sure about that?" Sin said letting her finger slip across Leliana's jaw line.

A smile tugged at Leliana's lips and she shoved Sin playfully in her chest causing the elf to nearly bump into her as she swayed back and forth on her heels. Sin broke the sway with her hands leaning in towards the bard, steadying herself with her hands pressed against the wet wall.

Leliana felt her heart slow, each and every heartbeat reverberating through her chest as Sinniralin's peculiar blue eyes found hers. She could feel Sin's hot breath against her face. Her lips so close to the Sin's were her lips to quiver the slightest their lips would brush tenderly against each other. Sinniralin studied her, looming close to her body with her own. It was the first time since Sin had joined them that she was this close, looking at her, seeing her. Leliana could feel her breathing quicken, her heart starting to thump wildly as she placed her hand on the elf's cold, wet cheek. Sinniralin's lips were inviting her, her eyes searching the bard's own steel-grey for permission. The familiar sensation tugged at Leliana's chest this time stronger than before mixing and merging with the elf's. Could Sin feel it to? Looking into the seductress' eyes, feeling Sinniralin gently grab her waist pulling her closer Leliana knew that she could.

The sharp crack of a whip flying through the air cut through the night. The bard, still dazed from the strong connection, hardly had time to recognize the sound before Sin clasped at the leather whip twisted around her neck. Then a rough jerk sent her hurling backwards landing with a loud crash.

"Run!" She tried to shout to the bard as she was dragged along the hard cobblestone grabbing at the whip gasping for air.

TO BE CONTINUED…

DISCLAIMER: I know I haven't said it for a while, but everything you recognize: names, places, objects, etc belongs to BioWare, everything else is a figment of my imagination.

AN. Say whaaaaaat? Oh noes! What is going on?

Thank you ALL for the reviews that keeps on coming making my day AND helping me develop this story, reminding me of things I need to think about. Thank you!

And a little reminder to please forgive me my typos and any grammatical errors. Having no beta-reader kind of odes that to my texts. lol

I know I told most of you I'd update this Sunday at the latest, but fell ill with a fever and was too tired to even get out of bed and my laptop is broken so alas, no update until this morning. :) I hope you can forgive me. :)

Btw, I'd like to ask and would love for all of you who read and who can to reply to this question I have: Do you think there is need for more femslash fantasy novels to be published? Would you buy a femslash fantasy book if they sold it in your bookstore?

Would be grateful for anyone who wants to answer those questions. :)

I hope you liked the update. See you soon!

~Elmjuniper