"It isn't working," I tell the buffoon in front of me, waving my wand like the Whomping Willow's branches. He looked at me kindly and said, "try making smaller movements, it's just a swish and flick." He flourished his wand and said the incantation; the feather rose easily.
I scowl and bring my wand to eye level again. "Wingardium Leviosa" I say while swishing and flicking my wand. The feather doesn't even move. "Wingardium Leviosa" I say again, making the exactly perfect movements. Nothing.
"Well maybe we should work on something else then," Neville said, his eyes filled with pity. I hate pity. "Like what? What spell could possibly be more simple than a levitation charm one should learn in their first year?" I spit out, trying to hold in a scream.
Neville puts a hand on my shoulder. I am not quite sure why but it felt abnormal yet comforting in a strange way. "Look, I couldn't do magic for my first years at school. Honestly I thought I was a squib!"
"Is that supposed to comfort me? For all intents and purposes I am a squib. I can't do magic at all. The only reason I can do anything around here is because I am smart but that isn't enough if I can't perform a simple spell!" My voice gets higher and louder until I can tell it is hurting Neville but I can't stop myself. I finally finish my rant, heaving to catch my breath.
"I couldn't do magic because I didn't have any confidence, now that I am more sure of myself I am a lot better! Maybe that's your issue!" He says excitedly, as though he just discovered some amazing new spell tat could destroy Voldemort. "You think I'm not confident? I am considered a genius, have an IQ that rivals some of the greatest wizards and muggles of all time, and I have never gotten a less than a 100% on any written exam. So why would I lack self esteem?"
"Because none of that can help you cast spells, or make people like you." he replies. I don't know why but this turn of conversation starts to make me uncomfortable so I put my wand down and ask, "Well this is enough, do you want to start on potions now?" He shakes his head and replies, "No, besides it is time for dinner." I nod and we walk out.
As we reach the Great Hall and turn to go to our different tables, he turn to me and says, "Do you want to eat lunch with us? I am sure nobody will mind your company." I don't know why he invited me over, he most likely feels bad for me. Regardless I shake my head and say, "No, Luna's waiting for me" He just nods and turns away to say hi to his friends.
I walk towards the Ravenclaw table and sit across from Luna. "Hello" she says and I nod in reply. "How was your lesson with Neville?" "It went well, for him" I say, "I mean it is difficult to teach somebody like him." She laughed and said, "No silly, I mean your magic lesson, could you cast any spells?" I avert my eyes which she takes to mean that I haven't and drops the subject.
I look at the Gryffindor table and see Neville sitting with Harry and his little group of friends. They are all laughing and having a lovely time it seems. Neville must have said something funny as everybody is giggling while he is talking excitedly. A burst of rage and envy shoots through me. He has everything: magic, friends, confidence, he can even create decent potions now. He must have noticed my stare since he looks at me, and waves. The others notice Neville's focus shift to me and they all wave as well. They all seem friendly, a bit too friendly to be waving at me, a person they only met the day before. I raise my arm to wave and Luna turns around. The others are much more friendly with Luna and start gesturing for us, or her, to join them.
She gets up and looks at me, asking if I want to go. I shake my head and say, "I have a lot of work to do, but I will meet you in the common room," She nods, knowing I am lying but also knowing to leave me alone. She glides to the Gryffindor table and is greeted with warm welcomes, while I walk to the hall without any notice.
The common room is empty as everybody is still at dinner. I sink into one of the couches and open my notebook, intending to study. I have nothing to study so I look at the flames and drift slowly into sleep.