Jake's Impromptu "Brief":

The place was pretty full, as the evening crew was just getting off and the night crew just coming in before starting work. We took our places in a line behind a few other clones and soon walked out with sandwiches and flavored water. We'd only been sitting a few minutes when some human male came walking over to our table smiling at Katura. He sat down and introduced himself to her, seemingly trying to make polite small talk. Another man saw them and came scurrying over. Katura took one look at both of them, got up and squeezed herself between Katook and I. Ok, we both just sort of giggled and shrugged as we moved over a bit.

"Hey man!" The second guy said to the first as he sat down real quick. "You'd better watch out, or you're gonna get yourself in deep shit!" He warned the other as he glanced over at us three and attempted to subtlety point at Katura. (He wasn't really that subtle though.) "She's 15." He whispered.

The first man gave the other a strange look and than eyed me, as Katura had drifted closer and now was embracing my arm. "And he's not?" He cocked his head in my direction a couple of times. The second man looked at us.

"Oh, no, no." He began to protest before he stopped mid-sentence and suddenly popped out with a question. "Have you been briefed yet?" He asked the other man.

"Briefed?" He made another face. "I just boarded this afternoon." The first said.

"Ah ha!" The second replied through a forced smile. "Well man, I'll give you the low down!" He said with a sigh as he looked at the three of us. "Shit where do I begin?" He mumbled under his breath. "Can ya help me out?" He made a funny face at me. "He aint been... briefed. He don't know how things... work... around here." He said through another forced smile and than took in a deep breath. "How do I explain you guys to him." He exhaled.

"We need explaining?" Katook looked at me and grinned.

"Yeah, I guess so." I glanced back at him as I took a minute to ponder the situation before I gave an answer. "Briefing hum?" I thought a minute as I looked at the two men across the table; who seemed to me to be civilian contractors.

"Yeah!" The second man made a nervous face. "Explanation meaning, you've been permanently fixed so you don't run around everywhere trying to make clone babies?" He finally blurted out.

"What?" The first looked rather curiously at him and than at us.

"Just what he said!" I responded.

"Make baby clones?" The first made a face that now bordered on a mix of bewilderment and irritation.

"No." Katook broke in. "Not baby clones, clone babies. Baby clones are another subject altogether; but we don't make those either!" Katook said really seriously; and than suddenly smiled. The second man started laughing so hard he just about fell off his chair.

"He gets clone jokes; he has been around here too long." I said to Katook.

The first one glared at us. "What the hell are you talking about?" He started to sound angry. Katook stood up, immediately ready to act if need be; while the second man struggled to quickly compose himself.

"Hey, hey, hey." He hastily interjected as he guided the newbie back into his seat. "Believe me man, you don't want to pick a fight with a clone. Even if they don't... well, eh - you know." He whispered as he twirled his finger in the air and a grin escaped. "But!" He made a face and cut his hand across his neck. "He definitely capable of kickin yer ass." He smiled as he nervously patted the other's shoulder and than sat down himself.

"Them?" the first whispered as his eyes drifted our way and he watched Katook sit down.

"Yeah them." The second made a face. "That's why their cloned, you know... clone army." The second whispered. "They don't... eh, because they're cloned and they're cloned because they don't... eh, you know." He smiled.

There was a real long pause as the first man's visage of anger started to melt into a combination of confusion and horror. "Nothin?" He inquired with one raised eyebrow.

"Nope!" His companion responded.

"You shittin me! Right?" The first asked.

"Nope!" Came the answer.

The first man didn't respond; but just glared at the second. It was real quiet for another real long pause. "Ouch!" He finally whispered as he glanced at us and peered back to the second. "All of 'em?" He inquired in yet another whisper.

"The whole army." The second whispered back.

"Damn!" The first mumbled.

Several more minutes passed and the second man had struck up a conversation with me when the first turned around. He took a deep breath and looked at Katura.

"Are you really 15?" He finally asked.

"Yes!" She answered.

"This is a battle cruiser; what the hell you doin on here?" He inquired.

"Intern." The second man answered. "This girl's like a math braniac!" He continued. "She was in the news; oh couple months ago. There was a big stink back home about putting this 15 year old girl on a battle cruiser with 3000 clones." He chuckled. "People back on Earth don't know shit!" He laughed again. "Damn man, you could stick her in their barracks and she'd be safer there than in her highschool!" He shook his head.

"This gotta be your first time on one of these ships!" The second man uttered to the first. "By the way; name's Brian!" He stuck his hand out.

"Ah, I'm Jake." The other responded.

Brian leaned over and looked at our collars. "Don't know who you are; but I know her name is Katura. You guys are consecutive batch numbers though." He said to us.

Jake sat up and turned around. "What's that mean?" He looked at Brian.

"They grew up together." Brian answered. "Don't recognize the numbers though; some of ya'all wear name tags. Hint! Hint!" He said to us as we both chuckled.

"I'm Nakahm and he's Katook." I introduced us.

"How ya tell each other apart?" Jake inquired.

"You around long enough; you'll be able to tell." Brian answered. "The guys I work with all the time; I can tell who's who."

"Hum?" Jake looked at us all, a bit puzzled.

"OK, so what's the low down?" Jake finally asked after a bit of a pause. "Give me the briefing. Apparently I don't know enough." He mumbled as he glanced around the room.

"Yeah, oh OK." Brian chuckled. "Here's the deal." He said as he scanned the horizon himself. "Ok, don't know how long you're gonna be here, but if you're lookin for a girlfriend?" Brian sucked in a big breath. "The short little orange dudes." He searched for an Aardatian. "The red people that look like they got a shell on their heads and the blue dudes with the fins. They all life long monogamous; only interested in their own species, so don't even bother with them man. The big tall ones with the funny faces and the green ones; skip them too. Not anatomically compatible." Brian mumbled under his breath.

"And the chicks that hang out with the clones." Brian hesitantly looked at the three of us. "There's a message there." He said. "Platonic relationships only! Besides especially on the supply ships; most of them are underage" Brian paused a minute. "And clones are safe." He whispered, as he sat up and browsed the horizon once more. "Other than that!" He concluded. "Everyone else is fair game!" He grinned at Jake and than glanced back at us. "Oh!" He quickly corrected himself. "Well, except them guys!"

Jake glared at Brian, than let out a disgusted grunt. "That's repulsive man! What do you think I am anyways?" He growled as he gave Brian a shove.

"Hey well; ya never know?" Brian grinned. "Really though, there's a lesson to be learned in that too. This planetary confederacy is really protective of their army." He went on to explain. "And something you do just as a joke; gotta be careful." He paused his words of wisdom a minute. "Watch who's airspace you're in too; because the laws of that planet apply and some of them got some really, really strict rules." Brian added.

"Strict?" Jake peered at Brian. "How strict? Do I want to know?"

"Depends on how long you wanna spend in the brig?" Brian started to laugh. "There was one dude on the last supply ship I was on." Brian lunched into a story. "After the briefing; he like didn't believe them. I don't remember what planet he was from, but he was a little messed up in the head." Brian twirled his finger in the air.

"Well anyways." He continued. "We were in one of the training rooms. These guys do combat training in there. There's like mats on the floor everywhere. Well sometimes we go in and watch them, because it's pretty wild. They armor up all the way and go beat the living crap out of each other." Brian paused a minute with a chuckle.

"This freaky alien dude I was tellin you about. He was in there and got up to leave. I was sitting there watching these two soldiers doing handstands and shit like that. These guys can bend. Wait till you see it. You won't believe it till you see it." Brian let out a little giggle.

"Anyways. One dude was standing on his hands and the other guy's holding one of his legs. They got communicators in their helmets and I think someone said something to the one, so he turned around.

Well, when he did that; this shit-headed alien walks by and cops a feel on this clone!" Brian bursts out laughing. "I just caught it out of the corner of my eye and I'm thinking to myself; What that...? He didn't just do what I think he did - did he? What is this guy high? That is so messed up!" Brian concluded as Katook and I just looked at each other and cringed.

"Why?" We chorused as both our companions stopped and looked at us.

"You do that all the time too?" Jake asked.

"Yeah." We chorused again.

Jake just let out a sigh.

"You get used to it." Brian waved his concern away.

"Damn, I don't think I'm ever gonna get used to this place!"

"Well?" Brian bellowed as he clapped his hands together and gave them a hearty rub. "Next space port is Jazambane if you wanna... get off... there?"

Jake peered at Brian. "Maybe I will." He mumbled under his breath. "Gotta be more exciting than this... monastery!"

"Yeah, I'm sure it would be!" I commented as we all started laughing.

"Well that all depends on what kind of excitement you're looking for?" Ketura broke in.

"Yeah, I know a particular touchy feely alien you could sit in the brig with!" Brian joked as he slapped Jake on the back. "You can keep him company for the next 15 years."

"What?" Jake made a funny face. "You talking about the guy that grabbed the clone?"

"Yep!" Brian nodded. "That dude got like 4 Jazambane years in jail for that; which is something like 15 to 20 Earth years. So I hope he really enjoyed his momentary oooh - yeah, because man, it definitely won't no cheap thrill!" Brian let out another hearty bellow. "I don't care how ripped you think these guys are; no clone's package is that attractive!" Brian howled as he slapped the table.

"Ripped?" I looked at Katook.

"Package!" He shrugged and than started to snicker.

"Colorful metaphors." Katura dryly observed.

"Look man!" Brian sat up and leaned over toward us. "You guys probably don't realize this because ya see it every day; all that genetic engineering and crap." His eyes flashed and he smiled as he leveled his hand over the table. "But do you know what some of the rest of us would give to have bodies that look like yours! You damn near perfect specimens of human physiology! You!" Brian winked as he leaned over the table and gave me a playful shove.

"And what a shame to think, that not even the chicks get a piece of that!" Brian smiled as he patted my face. "Life's so unfair. Oh, they are so right when they say this army is full of ironic contradictions!" He chuckled.

"But than again, I suppose that if you're gonna genetically engineer a military; you aint gonna clone short, fat dudes that can't fight!" Brian sat back and grinned as we all let out a little chuckle.

Jake smirked too as he sat up and looked at us. "But than why'd they like... fix you? I don't get it?" He inquired.

"Well look at 'em man!" Brian broke in. "You think if they could..." He paused a minute, glanced at us and than looked directly at Jake. "They wouldn't all go AWOL?"

"So is that the reason?" Jake shook his head, as he suddenly launched back into 'the briefing' of the laws that govern our army. "I mean what's up with this planetary confederation?" He queried. "They really throw that alien in jail for 20 years because he grabbed some clone?" Jake suddenly looked a little sick as he surveyed the lot of us and momentarily rested his eyes on Katura.

"Are you really serious?" He asked as he turned back to Brian. "You're not shittin me on that one; are ya?"

"Nope!" Brian shook his head. "Jazambane commonly executes people for what they deem as sex crimes. He's lucky they didn't fry him!" Brian paused again while his words sank in.

Jake looked at the three of us. "That true?" He inquired.

"In Jazambane space; yes." Katura answered. "I visited that planet; their laws are very severe"

Katook and I just shrugged. "Don't know really." I said. "We don't usually get off the ship when we're there."

Jake sat again for a while before he inquired of any more information anyone may have had about Jazambane law that would be to his behoovement to know. "So what was their reasoning?" He asked. "Why'd they give that dude such a severe sentence?"

"They briefed us civilians after the guy was sent to jail." Brian went on to explain. "Get this; according to their laws - clones are actually considered non-consenting!" Brian made a funny face and winked.

"What?" Jake's jaw just about hit the floor. "They can't consent to sex?" He inquired. "Why not; I mean they are adults, right? Can't you all decide for yourselves?" They both glanced at us.

"What's there to decide if there's no desire?" Katook responded with a shrug. "Why do something you don't have a want for?"

Jake just sat there staring at us.

"Yeah, clones are very interesting." Brian added.

"Sorry guys - not mean to be taking like ya aint sittin here." Jake apologized.

"It's OK." I said. "Most people who come on these ships don't know much about us, till they get here. We sometimes consume many hours answering questions." I explained.

"We're kinda used to it now." Katook shrugged again.

"Yeah, their pretty cool about stuff." Brian said. "They are very well tempered. If you piss a clone off; you really did something serious man!" Brian chuckled before he continued to explain the 'freaky alien's' sentence.

"Well according to Jazambane law. Clones have the sexual developmental level of like a ten year old. Which is probably true." Brian mumbled under his breath. "Sorry guys." He made another funny face. Katook and I both smiled and shrugged again.

"Well anyways." Brian went on. "They explained it to us as: because they're development has been arrested at a certain stage in life; they are considered developmentally disabled in that realm, even though cognitively and according to biological age; they're not. So if you mess with someone who can't consent; than your sentence is more severe." Brian paused.

"So what's age of consent?" Jake broke in again.

"Depends on where you are and what species you're dealing with. Most these planets; the human age is 18; Jazambane it's 21! That is unless you're 18 or over and legally married back on Earth."

"21?" Jake looked funny at Brian.

"Yeah." Brian chuckled. "They go by when your average individual of that species is considered fully grown and you probably didn't know that was 21 did you?" Brian smiled.

"Nope." Jake shook his head.

"Yeah." Brian concurred. "These guys don't enter the military fleet until they are 21 either and that's why." He gestured at us.

"That's another interesting tid bit of information I didn't find out until recently too." Brian leaned back resting his elbows on the table and turned toward Jake. "Even clones in the same batch don't grow at a consistent rate. You can have five 19 year old clones, all the same batch, had come out of the initial incubation chambers the same day and they all different heights!" Brian chuckled. "But by the time they get here though; they all something like 5ft 10" and 175 pounds." He turned around and looked at us.

"Did I get that right?" He queried.

"Sounds about right." Katook and I nodded.

"We can vary in weight somewhat; but we are usually between 170 and 180. Unless we're sick or something." I added.

"So how old are you guys really?" Jake turned to us. "Don't they stick you in some sort of accelerated growth chamber or something? I mean I'm sure they don't actually wait 21 years for you guys to grow up literally."

"Yeah they do." Brian chuckled.

"No, actually they haven't used accelerated growth chambers in hundreds of years." I explained. "There were too many things that went wrong with it. They found the best thing was to just let us grow up at a normal rate. Accelerated physical growth doesn't compensate for experience or mental maturity. A ten year old running around on a battlefield isn't a good thing; even if they're in a twenty year old's body!"

"Hum. Well, I guess that would be true." Jake acceded.

"So who takes care of all the young clones?" Jake posed another question.

"We do." Katook answered.

Jake sat up and looked at us. "You all have child care duty too?" He made a strange face.

"Yep!" Brian laughed. "This is a very... unique army!" He added. "These guys are actually very good with little kids."

"Shit!" Jake mumbled as Katook and I chuckled.

"Now you know why maintaining this force is so expensive." Brian said to Jake. "Besides the technology; weapons, ships, medical and scientific advancement: we're actually supporting a whole clone army society. They don't get paid and they don't ever really retire either; but the best of any military goods and services in this known galactic allegiance is provided for them." Brian smiled as he turned around and looked at us.

"This Planetary Confederation takes very good care of these guys. Matter of fact they take very good care of anyone on one of these cruisers." Brian turned to Jake. "The stuff on this ship works, it's well designed, efficient and the food's pretty good too." He laughed.

"It aint a bad life. That's if you can deal with their laws!" Brian smiled.

"Yeah, well that's the thing. Some of them laws are pretty messed up." Jake broke in. "Like the ones that sent that dude to jail for 15 years!"

"Well, I didn't write those laws." Brian grinned. "But after being around these guys for a couple of years or so; I kinda get it." Brian sighed. "I can see how they'd be appealing to predators."

Katook and I sat for a minute pondering what Brian meant about us being enticing to predators. I'd assumed he intended people who'd want to do us harm, as in the same realm Katura had experienced with her uncle. I didn't quite understand what exactly would make us so desirable? I glanced over at Katook who looked to be asking himself the same question. Before I got the chance to ask Brian though; the two of them had gotten up and left.