MAN, is it ever hard to make someone sound like Pip. I didn't give this soldier a name just cause...I didn't feel like it. Anyway, I looked in the book a lot and it had all the TH as Z's and anything H was just cut out and replaced with '. Well anyway I hope you all like this chapter. Someone people wanted to see some jealousy so I tried to put some in without it seeming too overbearing. I don't want Cat to turn into some crazed man lover. Don't forget yall, shes only sixteen.

Ze Zing about Men is Zis

Cat managed to stay up until four in the morning that day and when she heard the clock sing its four dongs she promptly fell over onto her pillow in a corpse like sleep. She slept the entire day and when she finally awoke it was nearly dark outside again. She looked over at the clock and saw it was six. She rolled over out of bed and stumbled to her dresser, feeling awkward and groggy from having slept so very long. She dressed herself in a state of thoughtlessness and strapped on her holster without thinking. She loaded her weapons and dropped them into their cradles, enjoying the weight of them on her hips. She stuffed a few more clips into her belt and then headed for the door. When she opened it Walter was standing there with his fist raised ready to knock.

"Oh, I see you're already up and ready. How did you know there was a mission?" he put down his fist that was beginning to look menacing to Cat and handed her a few SoyJoy bars.

"Last night Alucard told me that something was coming. I guess I just figured this is what he meant. Is it more vampires?" Cat tore the wrapper off the bar with her teeth and started munching at it. She swallowed hard and made a face at the dryness.

"Oh right, here," Walter pulled a juice box out of his pocket and handed it to her, "We aren't really sure what it is. You'll be going to a building that we suspect is a freak nest. Come walk with me as I tell you, Alucard is anxious to leave. We think they have been making new freaks there. We got a tip from an anonymous caller so it could very well be a trap. Don't worry you'll be perfectly safe just as you were the last time you went on a mission with Alucard."

"Yes, the last time, but not the time before that. What if he's setting a pattern and this time he's going to leave me for dead again," she sucked down half the juice box and took another bite of soy bar.

"I'm sure that will not happen. A lot has changed since then and he is not permitted to let harm come to you anyway. Seras will be there as well if you find yourself in trouble and you can always count on her," Walter walked passed the stairs and stood in front of the wall.

"Why is she going?" Cat finished her juice box and crushed it in her hand.

"She is going because this was her job long before it was yours and Integra would rather send another vampire than a squadron of soldiers. Now step back from the wall," he raised his hand and hit the ball of his palm on the wall. A panel swung opened and Cat peaked in to see an elevator.

"I always thought in a house so large it was odd that there were no elevators. Why do you keep it hidden so?" she followed Walter inside and looked at all the buttons. Rather than floor numbers they all had names of different places in the house. Walter mashed the one that said foyer and Cat felt the elevator jerk like it was going very fast. There were no doors so she could see the wall of each floor as they swiftly passed them. They stopped at the bottom floor and Cat waited for Walter to open the wall, but he only stood. She was about to ask him what he was waiting for when she was knocked sideways by the force of the elevator zooming to the left. It continued like this for about five seconds then abruptly stopped so she fell back over again just after she found her balance from the previous fall.

Walter stepped forward and pushed against the wall, "Last stop," he chuckled and the wall popped opened to reveal the foyer.

"I suppose that is why you never use them?" Cat rubbed her arm where it had hit the side of the elevator during her tumble, "because you don't want to maim your guests?"

"Be very carful tonight Katherine. There is no telling what you will find in that building. It could be full of vampires or ghouls or henchmen," he looked her over carefully, "Or of something else."

Cat nodded as the elevator slid back to the side. She waited for a moment to see if the wall would swing back into place, but it did not so she pushed it closed and listened to it snap. She turned around expecting to see Alucard waiting in the foyer, but it was empty.

"What is it with everyone and 'something'? Something this and something that, something's coming, something else, something here something there! Nothing ever has names," she walked to the front door and leaned against it. She thought she heard voices, but no one was to be seen. She pressed her ear to the front door and they grew louder. She pushed the door opened and went outside, "You would think that someone would have told me they'd be out here, but of course I should be able to guess myself right? Everyone else can read minds why shouldn't I be able to?"

She headed towards the canvas covered truck that was sitting in the drive way. A couple soldiers were standing outside it and another was loading in supplies. From where Cat was she could just barley make out the red cross on the boxes. As she walked closer Alucard came into view. He was grinning very widely at something and she even saw him toss his head back and laugh. She walked a little faster to see what it was around the truck that was causing him to act so normal. When she saw the blot of bright yellow fabric and blonde hair she frowned and went to stand with the soldiers instead. She could hear the shrill voice talking about past missions and things that happened. Cat was not sure what was so funny about being attacked by vampires, freaks and ghouls.

When the soldier had finished loading the last box he left and did not come back. Cat turned to one of the soldiers that were standing next to her, "Are you going with us?"

"I'm just driving the truck love. Dallas 'ere is going to stay in ze back and play doctor if any of you should come back 'urt. I suppose zat would only be you wouldn't it love? Zem two shouldn't 'ave any problems with getting shot or 'avin limbs ripped off," the second soldier, Dallas, nodded at Cat and hopped into the back of the truck. He pushed up the canvas so it would not be so dark inside and sat down on one of the benches.

Cat swallowed hard. She had never considered one of her limbs being torn off. Getting shot sounded peaceful compared to that.

"Don't look so nervous love. We promised Pip we'd take good care of you. Zat vampire friend of yours wouldn't let nozing 'appen to you anyway," he clapped Cat on the shoulder and went around to get in the truck. "Come Mr. Alucard, ze girl is 'ere and we are ready to go!"

Alucard walked around to the back of the truck, "It's about time. We've been waiting too long."

Cat could not think of anything snotty to say to him. Seras came around the corner just behind him and Cat felt her face get hot. Seras jumped into the back of the truck and Alucard followed her in. They both sat on the bench across from the soldier.

"Are you going to just stand there?" Alucard scoffed at her.

"I'm going to ride in the front," Cat went to the front of the truck and pulled the door opened.

"Ah, you decide zat it's safer up 'ere zen? Very well very well, buckle up tight, we're taking ze scenic route."

Cat put her seatbelt on and sighed. She peaked into the rearview mirror and could see everyone in back. The soldier was leaning against the canvas and had his hat pulled over his eyes. To Cat's joy, Alucard looked very bored as Seras chattered on. She smiled for a moment and was relieved, until she saw him laugh again and add comments of his own.

She sighed again and looked out the window. The soldier had started to drive, but she realized he had turned back down the driveway and was headed for the back of the house. "Where are you going?"

"Like I said, ze scenic route. We go zrough ze back of ze woods and come out very near ze invested building. So, 'ow do you feel about zis new girl? She seems nice, yes?" the soldier hit the gas when they got to the woods and Cat bounced up and down in the seat. She gasped as her head almost hit the ceiling. The soldier reached over and yanked her shoulder strap so she was pressed tighter to the seat.

"I don't know, what do you think of her? Were you here that long ago?" Cat gripped the handle on the door to steady herself more.

"I came just after she left. Seems like everyone else liked 'er just fine. Pip goes on and on about 'er. If I wasn't so old I wouldn't be able to tell zat zere is somezing ze matter. Go on and tell me and zen I can give you old person advice like my fazer used to give to me," the soldier shifted another gear and drove even faster. Trees were swiping past the window so fast they looked like a black blur. Cat was not even sure how the soldier could tell where he was going. The road they were on, if it could even be called that, was barley visible now that the sun was gone and the headlights shone hardly brighter than a flashlight.

"You don't look like you're old enough for any good advice. Plus, what would advice from men do for me? When my mother was alive she used to tell me before she put me in bed that men did not know anything about girls and to never trust them for good advice," Cat was growing used to the violent rocking of the truck and was beginning to enjoy it.

"She didn't," the soldier looked over at Cat while he was driving.

"No, but she would have if I had been older. It's something everyone knows. All girls anyway," she glanced in the rear view mirror again to see if Alucard was grouchy yet. She was sorry to see that he looked completely normal. Normal was not even the right word for it. Normal for Alucard meant brooding and angry looking. Now he looked like a normal human. Cat looked out the window again feeling completely hopeless and not even knowing why. What did she care that this girl came here and had a relationship with Alucard? She still had a relationship with him, it was just different.

"Ah, I zink I know what is ze matter. You should not worry about zings like zat so much. You are still very young and zere are many ozer people in ze world. Ones zat are alive, you know?" the soldier looked at Cat and she just stared back at him. "I 'ope I do not offend you, but you know 'e is really not your type."

"What! That isn't even why I'm upset! I can't believe you, this is why women do not listen to advice from men! They always say the most far off things," she crossed her arms and slumped down feeling embarrassed and annoyed.

"Well zat is why you should 'ave told me! If men can not give advice to women zen why don't I tell you some advice about a man. Zen you can do with it whatever you want. How about zat?" he turned the wheel sharply and the truck careened around an unseen corner.

"Sure, I guess so. What harm could it do now?" she leaned up against the door so she could face him better.

"Well, zis is what I zink. I see zat you are troubled by ze visit of zis ozer girl. First, I zink zat you should get to know 'er and be 'er friend because zat is what all good girls should do. Zey make friends with ozer girls and zat is why we men 'ave so much trouble you see? Because you all know each ozer and you tell everzing you 'ear! And zen the ladies, zey come to us and zey say 'well I 'eard zat you were wiz anozer woman' and zen what can we say back to zem aye? You women are like ze little spiders zat build zeir webs all togezer and zey keep each ozer safe from bigger zings. You understand?" Cat nodded and he continued, "Now, ze second zing is zat men are very different zan women. Zis I'm sure you already know, but not 'ow zey are different. Women zink zat men are always shopping for a better woman, but zis is not so. Some men zey do not shop at all, but ze ones zat do shop are not looking to replace zeir woman, zey are just looking for a different woman, you see?" Cat looked at him skeptically, "Let me explain it better. You are jealous zat your Alucard is spending time wiz zis new girl. No no don't try to protest I know zis is what it is even if you do not. Now, 'e is talking to zis girl much more zan he ever talks to you yes? BUT! What will 'appen when she is gone? Zings will go back to just ze way zey were. 'E will not care where she goes or how to keep in contact with 'er because 'e 'as you. Men do not replace ze women in zeir lives, but zey 'ave a spot in zere 'earts for all of zem. A different spot for each one. Am I 'elping you at all love?" he looked over at Cat to see if she looked enlightened.

"I don't know! Alucard doesn't even have a heart so I don't think anything you're saying applies to him. He isn't a human man either so how does any of it apply?" she made the most frustrated face she could manage.

"Well! If you zink of all zat zen it is not much 'elp I suppose, but 'e was a man at one time so it still applies. Oh, what do I know? I am just the driver and I 'ave no fair ladies to call my own. If she bozers you zat much zen you should say somezing to him. Stop being such a baby about it," he hit the breaks hard and shifted into reverse all in the same moment.

"I am not a baby about it! Why are we backing up?" Cat held her hands out against the dashboard in fear she would be slammed into it if they abruptly stopped again.

"We're going to back up to ze front of ze building and stay under ze trees. Zat way if you come running out from monsters you can jump right into ze back of ze truck and I can 'it the gas and get ze 'ell out of 'ere," he hit the breaks more slowly and Cat watched in the rear view mirror as the building came into view. She also watched as Seras continued her conversation with Alucard.

"Are you ready zen little one? I 'ad not zought about 'ow tiny you are, before. Are you sure you want to go inside? We could call for backup and send someone else?" he looked at Cat with concern, but she thought she saw his mouth curl ever so slightly at the corners.

"Of course I'm going in. How else am I going to prove that I'm just as good as that vampire girl?"

The soldier laughed at this and Cat laughed along with him as they got out of the truck to ready her for the mission.

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