Dear guest, don't worry about it. I know you didn't mean bad and I didn't feel offended, but I realized what made you think or feel this way and so I wanted to explain it somehow. I am so happy that you and the other people even stop by and read what I write and if you on top of that take the time and write a review - you really make my day - so all my thanks to all of you out there, no matter who or where you are:)

The men are hurting the boy and his father is sitting and watching, but not doing anything about it. The kid cries, is scared and alone in this, no way out. There are just to many men. 'Why isn't Dad helping?' he thinks. But he knows the answer, just doesn't want it to be true. Denying it means to have hope that his Daddy does love him after all. He knows better though, but hope isn't a bad thing, is it?

Denying is hard, but gets easier with growing up. The boy has learned about that too well in his short life. He runs away from the men. His father follows him and holds him back, turns the boy around and swings his arm hard enough that the back of his fist hits the side of the chin and the cheek of the six-year-old. The boy is dizzy, feels darkness coming, but in the end it is not the pain that knocks him out. It's the moment, when his father leaves and he reaches for his face and there is blood on his hands. He falls down, unconscious before his head hits the ground, leaving him exposed to the dirt and in the rain.

The boy wakes up, there is still the blood on his hands – his eyes are closed, but he can feel it. Afraid to find himself out on the dark street where his father has left him after running away, he hesitates to open them. But he decides he has to, if he wants to go home. Sadly the boy doesn't even know the real meaning of 'home', it's just where he lives. It's like a war zone for him or hell, but he's brother is there, too and that is a good thing. Thinking about his brother lets him open his eyes.

He was right. The blood is still on his hands. But something has changed. It's not dark and he's not outside. He can smell something like sickness or so. He sits up and looks around. There is a woman lying in a bed. Realization brings fear and desperation, this is his Mom. But why is she looking so ugly? When his father left with him before going to see those men that hurt him, Mom has been alright, doing homework with Hank and preparing dinner. He's confused and cries. He gets up on his feet looking for a sink to put cold water on his wrists and in his face, Hank has told him that it would help to feel better soon and he always believed and trusted in whatever his big brother would tell him. There's a mirror over the sink. And he sees himself, but it's not him, more an older version of him, he looks more the age of Hank now and his brother is ten, was ten when he last saw him this morning.

His father is still gone, left him bleeding and waking up to a different place with a now sick mother and a different time, like he's some sort of time traveler. And the boy does what he's been doing all his life, when he was hurt, scared or lonely. He starts screaming, screaming for his older brother!

"HAAAAAAAAANK! HAAAAAAAAAAANK! HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANK!"

Hank sat on the couch, going through the financial reports Evan had finished and wanted to talk to him about for a few days now. They had other stuff to worry about right now, but since he hadn't anything else to do, he decided to look at them. He could still ask Evan, if there was something he couldn't understand. He was running a hand through his hair. Truth to be told, he didn't understand one single thing about that stuff, even though Evan had probably explained a hundred times how to read the financial reports. The doctor smiled. Guess there is a thing he's better in than I am.

He decides to give up and watch some TV instead. The news of the day. Great war, murder, fires and so on. Oh, politics. Yeah, pretty much the same as a battlefield. Maybe not as deadly. Not in their part of the world. He's going through the channels, bored most of the time. The discovery channel has some kind of interview with a doctor about diseases like Crohn's and stuff like that. Hank is pretty familiar with those, but he's always willing to learn something new. It's medicine, it's a constant changing world. In all his years working as a doctor he has met a lot of doctors that were so sure about everything they did, and didn't want to change their methods. They worked, but if new therapies were as efficient but less invasive, why not trying it? Better for the patients.

Hanks cell was buzzing. A text message. From Eddie. 'still mad?' What the fuck?! Sick bastard! I could sooo kill you right now! What kind of question was that? Had his father lost his mind? There was no way he was going to react on that. It made him sick to his stomach.

His thoughts went back to the earlier events of the day. He has thrown his father out – twice today. One thing Eddie has said was probably true, that it wasn't his fault that Evan has drunken while he has been there. But Hanks point was that Eddie didn't look for his son to find him drinking earlier or even prevent it. Damn Evan! You're just too good for this world. Eddie doesn't care at all and you give so much more – he doesn't deserve your love. A single tear left his eye. I have to change it, but I know it's gonna break your precious kind heart. I'm so sorry, kiddo. Hank couldn't help, but think that his brother probably had some serious issues on his mind to deal with and that the drinking was an easy way to forget about them for a while. If he could just go in and read the diaries, but that was out of question. And how could he possibly add the disappointing truth about their father to those problems?

He tried to focus on the screen again. The doctor was gone and they showed some interviews with people that had some of those illnesses. But no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't focus on anything else right now. He was so scared for his brother, his hands were trembling. He needed a drink! He rouse, just to sit down again and leave out a sigh. Shit! Great Hank, that's the best way to help him! You're nervous? Just get yourself a drink and all will be good. Good joke. Really? You're the smart one in the family? Yeah, well didn't prove it just now! He knew of course, that it's not bad to drink now and then, but it wasn't good to do so around his brother or in their home for that matter.

He got up again to drink some water and put some cold water on his wrists and his face. It usually helped, when he was nervous, but he wasn't so confident in it for today. But he decided that trying would make him smarter. He was just turning to follow his plan, when he heard a hurt, desperate, scared-to-death-voice screaming something. He froze by the tone, but when realization sat in, that this voice belonged to his beloved family and that it was screaming for him, he ran with a pounding heart, ran like it was for his life. But despite the speed, he felt like it took him for eternity to reach his brothers room and bed.

When he finally reached his goal, he froze again. Evan was tossing and turning in bed, shaking, holding his hands up, palms up – just like he was standing and holding them in front of him disgusted by whatever he could see there. But that wasn't the worst, by God it was harmless compared to... well, his baby brother seemed like a young boy, that was terrified, lost and alone in a cruel world, left by himself in his time of greatest horror, crying for his older brother asking, no! BEGGING for some sort of help or mercy? Salvation! Oh my, God! Not true, it can't be true! It's Evan, the annoying but funny, happy, hyperactive clown. He can't be, just can not be so broken! Henry! Get a grip on yourself! If he wasn't so broken, he wouldn't drink! Yeah, but it's Evan, man, you know?!

Hank closed his eyes for a short moment and knelt down beside the bed, cleared his throat. "Evan? Evan! Hey, EVAN!" No change. He shook his brother, but he didn't wake up. The doctor got on his feet and pressed one of his knees on the bed right by his brothers body. He bent over and grabbed Evan's shoulders again, this time he shook him harder and yelled at him: "EVAN R. LAWSON WAKE UP!"

Evan reacted, his eyes opened wide, panic and horror still visible. His screams were not so loud anymore, but he was still trembling all over and he still had his hands in this very strange position. Hank set down on the bed and tried to push them aside, but Evan wouldn't let that happen. He tried harder and with some more force he got the hands down on his brothers sides. Evan seemed only half-awake his eyes still staring and his begging going on, only whispers though. Still, yeah there is the fucking word again, still a prisoner of his dream. And you're face is so wet, no, are those tears? The sight was breaking Hank's heart and there was nothing he could do about it.

Hank brought his brother in a sitting position and sat down behind him, legs along Evan's legs, back on his chest and his brothers head between his neck and shoulder. He struggled to find a soothing voice and the right words, but wasn't very successful. "It's okay, Evan, I'm here now, you're save, I take care of you and won't leave you alone." He kissed his brothers curly hairs and held him so close that he's almost afraid he's gonna hurt him, but he himself was so terrified now, that there was no way he'd soften the hug.

The body in his arms relaxed somewhat and the pleading finally changed to loud sobbing, what shook Evan's body again, but this time it was a good way. Evan was awake now, full aware of his brother behind him, kissing and comforting him and he felt ashamed for crying like a little girl... lil gal...that's what dad said, when I would cry.. This thought brought up a new wave of crying, shaking and hot tears.

"It's okay, kiddo, I got you, just relax and let it all out and when you're ready you just tell me about it and I'll be here listening to you." Hanks noticed that Evan was struggling. What he didn't know was that inside his baby brother a dangerous battle was started by his words. One side had the need to tell Hank all about his dreams and the stuff related to them and those dreams about the people coming in their house to torture and drug him vs. the other side trying to hide all the pains, fears, disappointments, loneliness and other stuff to protect himself and most of all his all-life hero Hank.