Effie Trinket is NOT over thirty!

Effie Trinket skipped excitedly to her pink, sparkly computer, oh god she missed it so much, and sat down in a chair in front of it.

She immediately logged into Facebook. She wasn't on Facebook for thirty minutes. THIRTY WHOLE MINUTES. That was enough to practically drive her insane.

She looked at her details and smiled. Oh, she was so clever, the way she didn't reveal her real age!

Effie Trinket Profile Page

Name: Effie Trinket *smile butterfly heart*

Age: ...not over thirty, that's for sure! *laugh uncomfortably*

Home: The most fantabulous place in the world – The Capitol.

Current location: My beautiful home.

Interested in: Shopping, partying, The Hunger Games, Squeaking.

In a relationship: Never! I prefer short flings :) Which reminds me, Finnick Odair, if you read it – call me ^^

Yep, she was clever all right.

She looked at her Wall to see if anyone sent her anything. Yep, one person sent her a comment, Gale was his name, on November 25th at 16:38PM.

'The Capitol is not fantabulous! It's a horrible, horrible place, and in there are leaving horrible, horrible people! I hate you, I hate you all!'

Effie looked at his comment for a whole minute before sending a reply.

'…who are you again?'

It didn't take long for this Gale person to send her another comment.

'I'm Gale Hawthorne! Katniss's best friend whom she's secretly yet passionately in love with!'

Peeta Mellark joined the conversation immediately.

'You mean, Katniss's COUSIN whom she's not in loaf with because that would be gross.'

Gale's reply to that was a short, 'Whatever.'

Katniss Everdeen then wrote a comment on Effie's Wall. Effie actually got excited about it, she thought The Mockingjay actually wanted to talk to her, but no. She was just talking to Gale, her cousin/lover.

'What do you mean, secretly yet passionately in love with? I'm not in love with you!'

Peeta was quick to respond.

'Yeah, that's right! You tell him Catnip!'

This comment, apparently, made this Gale guy really annoyed.

'Dude! You just stole my nickname for her! Not cool, man, not cool!'

Effie snorted loudly, which wasn't very lady-like but oh well. She just had to snort. Calling Peeta 'man' and 'dude' was just too much.

Peeta sent a quick reply to Gale which, again, showed Effie just how the names 'man' and 'dude' were just unfitting while describing or talking to Peeta.

'Oops. Sorry :)'

Two minutes later, someone finally sent a message to Effie. And it wasn't what she expected for or what she wanted to see.

'Not over thirty my ass.'

Effie looked at Haymitch's comment for a long time, not even fully realizing that Katniss, Peeta and Gale all 'Liked' this horrible, awful, NOT TRUE comment, then sent a response.

'Of course I'm not over thirty! You're being ridiculous Haymitch! Just shut up and get out of my page.'

Haymitch's next comment was received one minute later, at 16:45PM.

'Naah, I think I'll stick around for just a short while. Let's see what else did you write up there… you love to squeak? Really?'

Effie frowned at the computer, though she knew Haymitch won't actually be able to see her frown. Stupid git.

'It's a nice way to express myself,' Was her short response to Haymitch's stupid comment.

'As what? A bird?' Was Haymitch oh-so-clever response.

Effie looked as, again, Katniss, Peeta and Gale liked Haymitch's comment, those stupid people, but then her eyes lit up when she saw another person, an important person, a hot person, liking Haymitch's comment, too.

Finnick Odair.

Effie wrote to him as fast as she could, trying to look excited yet collected and cool. Unreachable, even.

'OMG! Finnick Odair! Oh I can't believe you're in my user page! Oh, I think I'm going to die from excitement!'

Haymitch's next comment was an unpleasant one, but this was Haymitch after all. He was a douche. 'Thank god,' Was his short comment.

Effie decided to ignore it.

Finnick Odair was the next to comment, which Effie was very excited about.

'Effie, sweetie, you do realize I'm in love with Annie? We're married, you know. You must've read about it in the third book.'

Effie nodded her head solemnly. Yep, she read the third book. She had to take four vomiting pills in order to make her feel better.

Great. And now she was hungry.

'Yeah, I didn't like the third book. I especially disliked your death :('

Finnick's response was a bitter, 'Yeah, I wasn't that crazy about it either.'

Effie immediately 'Liked' Finnick's comment. She wasn't the only one. Katniss, Peeta, Gale, Haymitch (Effie frowned when she saw the stupid man's horrible name), Annie and President Snow liked it too.

Wait, President Snow?

She was very surprised by that. Finnick, however, seemed more surprised about something else entirely.

'Annie! You learned how to get into Facebook!'

At least Katniss had the senses to ask the real, most bothering question of them all.

'President Snow? What are you doing here?'

President Snow replied quickly, and his reply surprised Effie. A lot.

'I like to stay in touch with the younger generation. You know, to stay "cool", as you kids call it.'

It apparently surprised Annie Cresta too, because she replied to President Snow's comment in a shocked smile.

'O.O'

'O.O Indeed,' Haybitch (Yep. Haybitch.) agreed with her.

President Snow's next comment was at 16:54PM.

'So… 'sup, dawgs?'

Effie rolled her eyes. He was trying too hard.

Katniss didn't seem to mind it, but another thing occupied her mind.

'What the hell is a dawg?'

Annie Cresta wrote the next comment.

'Isn't it this beautiful time when the sun comes and the darkness leaves?'

'No, Annie, sweetie. That's a dawn,' Finnick replied to her patiently.

President Snow decided to enlighten Katniss.

'The word Dawg is a cooler way to say the word dog. It's slang – all the cool people say it! I found it on The Online Slang Dictionary.'

Effie looked at the computer for a very long time before Gale finally had the senses to write something in respond to President Snow's comment.

'You're stupid. You're not cool. Everyone hates you.'

Effie wasn't the only one who liked this comment; Katniss, Peeta, Haymitch and Finnick all liked it too.

'That was mean,' Was President Snow's reply to that.

Katniss's reply to that came a minute later.

'Well, you deserve it. You are an evil, evil man, with a horrible smell and a creepy smile. And you just called us all dogs.'

'In slang it means friends. Jeez, Katniss, you are so out of date,' President Snow wrote. Effie had to agree with him on that one; Katniss really was out of date. So, so out of date.

And this was all getting very ridiculous. It was already 17:05PM, and she barely participated in this conversation. And it was her Wall! This had to change. Quickly.

'You know, I really don't like it that you make your little conversation on my wall, while I'm not having a part in it! So, all of you, LEAVE! Except for you, Finnick *batting eyelashes seductively*'

She expected them to leave after that. She really did.

President Snow, however, wanted to write to her one more thing.

'Really, Effie? Not over thirty? LOL!'

And with that, Effie blocked everyone, President Snow, Katniss, Gale, Peeta, Haymitch and Annie, from posting on her Wall.

Well, not everyone.

'So, Finnick, hon... It seems like it's just you and me now :)' Effie wrote seductively.

Next thing she knew, Finnick Odair left the conversation.

And all Effie could do was frown.

If you don't know why there are only six chapters now, look at Chapter Five Author's Note.

Have a lovely day :)