Cato is not the only sexy beast around

Maya Normousbutt had a big problem; she was obsessed with watching and learning about other people's lives. Not to say that she meddled in other people's lives, no.

She just watched.

She never said anything; no one knew who she was, no one knew of her existence. But she knew everything.

What she loved most was looking at those famous, amazing people that she adored that were related in one way or another to her favorite reality show ever.

The Hunger Games.

It was tricky, to get everyone to be friends with her on Facebook, but she succeeded. First, she asked Peeta to be her friend. He confirmed her request two seconds after she sent it, so it was quite easy. Then she befriended Buttercup, who was on Peeta's friends list. Then Prim. Then Katniss. And from there, she befriended them all.

It took some time, but it all paid off. Now she could see what everyone wrote on their Walls.

It was awesome.

She noticed that someone posted on Clove's Wall, so she went there and checked.

Clove's Profile Page

Name: Clove… something.

Age: 17

Home: District Two, and proud of it!

Current location: Next to a rock.

Interested in: Fighting, killing, Cato and winning!

In a relationship: Not currently. Am investigating Cato's feelings for me.

The person who wrote on Clove's Wall was Effie Trinket, on December 16 at 21:03PM.

'Party in the Capitol! Party in the Capitol! And YOU, Clove deary, are invited! There'll be lots of food and lots of vomiting pills! It's going to be F-u-n!'

Maya Normousbutt frowned. No one told her about this party…

'Is Cato invited?' Was Clove's response to that.

Cato The Sexy Beast wrote her a quick response.

'Of course I'm invited, love! *wink wink*'

Oh, Cato and Clove. To be honest, they weren't her favorite couple, but oh well. She was just a watcher, not a meddler.

'Then I'll be there!' Clove wrote, apparently deciding that if Cato The Sexy Beast will be there, then it's good enough for her.

President Snow The Sexy Beast wrote a comment at 21:08PM.

'That's so great hon! You'll have a blast! :P'

Maya Normousbutt raised her eyebrows at President Snow's name. It seemed awfully familiar…

Oh right. Cato The Sexy Beast.

Haymitch Abernathy noticed President Snow's new name too.

'Oh, dear lord. Did you really change your name to President Snow The Sexy Beast?'

'I wanted to have a cool username, like Cato!' President Snow The Sexy Beast explained.

It took Cato The Sexy Beast a few minutes to write a new response to President Snow The Sexy Beast's new name.

'Yeah, I think I'm going to change my username now. And maybe drown myself afterwards.'

Maya Normousbutt snorted loudly. Luckily, no one lived with her, so no one heard the awful snort. Yep, she was still single, despite her being 27.

Okay, 30.

Fine!

52.

She looked at the computer screen again, and saw that Haymitch Abernathy, Effie Trinket, President Snow The Sexy Beast, Clove and Johanna Mason all liked Cato's comment.

'LOL, Cato! You're so FUNNY! XD' President Snow The Sexy Beast wrote.

'I wasn't kidding.' Cato The Sexy Beast wrote in response.

'Oh, you don't want to drown yourself. It's not a nice feeling. Trust me.' Annie wrote, sounding serious.

'Yeah, and it would also be a waste to the world.' Johanna Mason wrote.

Maya Normousbutt agreed with her. Cato was hot, after all. Clove, Cato The Sexy Beast and President Snow The Sexy Beast all liked this comment. Maya Normousbutt smiled when she saw President Snow The Sexy Beast and Cato The Sexy Beast's names next to each other. Oh, it was just so funny.

Cato The Sexy Beast didn't think so apparently.

'Yeah, I'm going to change my username RIGHT NOW.'

The next message that appeared was: 'Cato The Sexy Beast has left the conversation.'

'Oh, Cato. Isn't he cute? *wiggle eyebrows at Clove, Johanna, Haymitch, Effie and Annie.*' President Snow The Sexy Beast wrote. God, he sounded like an obsessed 15 year old girl.

Clove was, apparently, pissed at President Snow The Sexy Beast.

'You just drove him away! You bring destruction to everywhere you go! Die in hell, President Snow!'

'That was rude, sweetie. Jeez, women these days. So annoyingly unpleasant.' President snow The Sexy Beast wrote in response.

'Why there's no dislike button? Was the inventor of Facebook so fucking brainless he forgot to put a dislike button?' Johanna Mason wrote.

'I think he didn't put a dislike button so that there'll be less hate in Facebook. It's sweet, actually, the way he wants everyone to get along :)' Annie Cresta wrote. Oh, Annie. She was so sweet!

'I think it's stupid.' Wrote the not-sweet-at-all Haymitch.

Johanna Mason and Clove both liked his comment.

'I'm back!' Cato The Sexy Buffalo declared.

Cato The Sexy Buffalo?

Oh dear.

Haymitch apparently agreed with Maya Normousbutt.

'Sexy Buffalo? Really?'

'A buffalo is a beast! My username is now the same, yet different, you see?' Cato The Sexy Buffalo wrote.

'How clever.' Haymitch Abernathy wrote in response.

Maya Normousbutt snorted again (thank god she was single and no one heard her) and Annie Cresta, Johanna Mason and President Snow The Sexy Beast liked this. (Not the snort. Haymitch's comment.)

President Snow The Sexy Beast apparently didn't realize Haymitch was being his sarcastic normal self, and took his comment seriously.

'So clever! In fact, I'm going to change my username ASAP!' President Snow The Sexy Beast wrote, then left the conversation.

'Oh, fuck me.' Cato The Sexy Buffalo wrote.

'Okay!' Clove, thinking he was actually meaning it, wrote immediately.

'You know I didn't actually mean THIS, right, sweetie? Though if you want to, I won't mind *wiggle eyebrows*' Cato The Sexy Buffalo wrote in response.

*gag*. That was gross.

'I suddenly feel very uncomfortable with this conversation.' The sweet Annie Cresta wrote.

Maya Normousbutt nodded her head, agreeing with Annie Cresta.

'Hey dawgs! 'Sup, Cato! *high five*' Wrote President Snow The…

Oh god.

*snort snort snort snort snort snort snort*

President Snow The Sexy Rooster.

His name was officially worse than Maya Normousbutt's name. And that said something.

Cato The Sexy Buffalo ended this conversation with a small, sweet comment.

'Kill me. Kill me now.'

Okay, so I decided to invent this Capitol woman, Maya Normousbutt, so that some of the chapters will be from her POV. It makes it easier on me to write it this way. And I think she's awesome :)

KatnissFacebook- I still didn't upload the whole story in a chat format to another website. When I will, I will put the link on my profile. Sorry, it will probably take some more time for me to upload it. I'm just lazy like that.

Hope you all have a lovely day! :D