Chapter 6 – Rumblings of Grief
His pup was forever gone.
No more annoying singing.
No more annoying skipping.
No more annoying laughter.
No more annoying giggling.
No more precious, annoying Rin to protect.
No more Rin.
No more Rin.
Suddenly, the Youkai let loose a long mournful howl. He gave in to his grief.
Kagome froze. Never in her life has she heard, felt or seen anything more painful than the proud Youkai's loss. She couldn't help but cry as the keening howl echoed within her. The howl said everything what Sesshoumaru couldn't say. His loss, his caring, his memories, his pride.
All Kagome could do was to hum quietly behind him.
Whispering his name over and over again.
"Sesshoumaru-sama."
Humming in tune to his howl.
"Sesshoumaru-sama."
Wiping away her tears as she listened to the untold regret in the Youkai.
"Come back, Sesshoumaru-sama."
Clutching her chest as heaves of sobs threatened to break her at the magnitude of his loss.
"Come back, Sesshoumaru-sama.."
The keening stopped. The Youkai looked at her, gold was swirling into his red-tinted eyes.
"Rin still needs you for one last time, Sesshoumaru-sama.."
Sesshoumaru took a swipe at her with his claws and she cried out. The human miko dared speak of his daughter's name! She is not worthy of Rin's name.
Rin who made sunshine and rainbows out of nothing.
Rin who found storms wonderful and a beauty to behold.
Rin who feared wolves and braided his hair with flowers as if it was the most normal thing in the world.
Rin who was Rin.
"You are not worthy of Rin." The Youkai growled at her menacingly.
"I know Sesshoumaru-sama." She steadily held the youkai's gaze, unfazed by the fact that his claws were imbedded in her arms again. "No one is."
The human woman's answer expressed his sentiments exactly. She knew her place and for that, he will spare her. He looked around and saw Rin's little body propped against a tree as if in sleep.
The Youkai remembered its duty to his daughter. Gold returned to his eyes.
The cold slowly trickled back to his chest, pushing the turmoil he felt at bay – if only for a while until he finished his duty.
He snatched his claws from Kagome's arm and flicked her blood off.
"Miko. You need not stay anymore. Your presence is no longer required."
Kagome half-smiled. No longer required. It implies that she was needed earlier. It was a statement of appreciation though heavily veiled. Of course, he was a Taiyoukai would never admit that he required anyone or anything.
"If you would, Sesshoumaru-sama. I would like to stay a bit longer if only to assist you in preparing Rin."
Sesshoumaru growled his warning.
"I beg of you. I was blessed as well by your daughter's life and I feel a debt of gratitude to her."
Sesshoumaru considered this. She is correct. Rin did bless everyone whom she came into contact with. Rin who eternally smiled and whose tears were sacred.
"Hn."
Kagome took this as his assent.
"Arigatou gozaimasu, Sesshoumaru-sama."
She stood up and went to Jaken who was whimpering in his sleep. She shook the old youkai awake.
Jaken screeched awake as soon as she touched him. "Rin! I have to protect Rin!" He frantically looked around, searching for his charge. When his eyes landed on Sesshoumaru kneeling in front of Rin's body, he sobbed out.
Kagome couldn't help herself and patted the old youkai. Even Jaken who professed a known hatred for humans has fallen for Rin.
"There, there, Jaken-sama. You need to get a hold of yourself. Rin still needs you."
Kagome was choking back her tears. The youkai was sobbing uncontrollably now and her strenuous hold on her emotions is giving way on seeing how Jaken was affected.
"Mah, Jaken-sama, you have to stop this. It is unbecoming of the great lord Sesshoumaru's steward."
At this, the old youkai reacted like he was doused with cold water. His first duty is to his lord and his personal feelings for the little girl came second.
Shakily, the toad youkai stood up. The staff of Four Heads as his support, he straightened his back and reined in his tears.
"I failed Rin and I failed Sesshoumaru-sama. I will not fail him a second time."
"That's right, Jaken-sama. Rin needs you to be strong now."
Jaken's eyes swirled with tears as he looked at the human woman beside him and nodded.
"I hope you may help in fetching cloth to wrap Rin's body, Jaken-sama"' Kagome said. "I will be helping Sesshoumaru-sama in the final preparation."
Jaken turned back without a word. Head-bowed and the Staff of Four Heads shaking as he went to find the needed items for Rin.
She turned to see that Ah-Uhn has lumbered towards Rin though they kept a certain distance. Ah was rumbling towards Rin as if to say 'Wake up Rin!' Uhn was shaking its head and bumping Ah's head. Ah only rumbled louder and snapped at its partner. Uhn was visibly shaken but rumbled comfortingly to Ah, as if shushing him.
Kagome choked back her tears and approached the dragon. Ah snapped at her but she was unfazed.
"There, there.. It's okay now. Shh.. Shh.."
Ah shook and pointed its head to the sky and rumbled at it. Kagome could feel that the dragon was shaking. Uhn laid its head down and was mournfully looking at its charge, rumbling at her now and then.
They both remembered how Rin hugged them and played with them. How she gave them flowers and fruits that she came across. How she protected them from Jaken who can be cruel sometimes.
They remembered a rainy day when Rin found a leaf big enough to shelter them. They did not grow cold but she still cared enough to find a leaf for them to protect them in the rain.
"See Ah-Uhn? If you hold it like this between your heads, you both won't get cold in the rain!"
Ah remembered how he just snorted at the leaf and turned away. He regretted it now. He should have snuffled her in thanks then.
They remembered how much Rin cried over the smallest cut on them. How she would fuss over the wounds, clean them and put strips of her own clothes on them so it would heal.
The shared memory was too much for the dragons and they struggled out of Kagome's hold. Ah was shaking so much and rumbling in his grief.
"No, no.. Look, Rin is okay now."
Rin was seated, cradled by the roots of the tree. The shadows of the leaves were playing over her features, making her seems like a dappled fairy-child. Her expression was that of peace and contentment.
"She is peaceful, Ah-Uhn.. See? It's okay, Rin loved the both of you."
At this, the dragons stilled and looked at her. Doubt clearly etched in their features.
"Silly dragons, would she have given you these flowers every single day if she did not?" she asked as she fingered ring of flowers around their heads. "We girls only give flowers to the ones we love best, you know.."
Both the dragons looked in disbelief at the flower necklaces then looked towards their charge. They slumped to the ground, crooning towards Rin.
She turned to Sesshoumaru. What she said was as much to his benefit. He knew he was listening, if only partially.
"We need to clean her body, Sesshoumaru-sama. If you would allow it, I hope I may accompany you to the river nearby."
She knew not to ask if she could help as she knew that Sesshoumaru would not tolerate her touching Rin. So she just followed the youkai lord as he carried Rin to the river, leaning against Ah-Uhn as she hobbled after him.
A/N:
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