i remember june
back when i met you;
your eyes were green-
and we were, too.
but summer is over.
Dipper kicked at the rocks beneath his sneakers, convinced at this point that yes, Wendy had been eaten by some gruesome creature in the forest, and yes, it had been as gory as possible. Maybe he was overthinking things, but she'd been gone who knows where with her friends for hours now, and he was starting to wonder if he was ever going to get the chance to confess his feelings to her.
He was about to sigh again and sulk some more at how left out he was feeling when he heard laughter resonating from the forest. Moments later, the crew of teens came madly giggling and enjoying themselves out of the woods. Dipper was about to spring to his feet and ask Wendy to talk to him but was immediately daunted by a.) Robbie's presence and b.) the bottles of unidentifiable alcohol in everyone's hands.
The eventual sigh finally escaped him as he watched Wendy teeter back and forth between Tambry and Robbie, laughing uproariously and drinking with the rest of them. He'd always made the mistake of holding her on a high pedestal, as if she were an angel-a fault that was often slapped in his face when she got into trouble, or acted outwardly manipulative, or just acted like a normal teenager in general. Because she treated him so much more kinder than he was used to from older kids, his perception of her was a tad bit warped. Underneath it all, she was still a typical high schooler at her core, and he made a mental note to remind himself of that more often.
Soos had long since abandoned his post by Stan, who was sleeping like a rock on one of the lawn chairs, likely being assaulted by mosquitos. He'd been keeping careful eyes on all the youngins since the party had started-Soos wasn't stupid, he knew teens would be teens-but he was a tad bit nervous about the children being roped into their shenanigans. So he rested his watchful gaze on them from the porch, DJ'd up some more music, and let the good times carry into the night.
o0o0o0o0o0o
"Alls I'm saying is, if your closet has it's own wifi network, YOUR CLOSET IS TOO FUCKING BIG."
"Robbie, shut up."
"Back-Back in-dudes, okay-Back in Deennnver, I went to my friend's house, and his closet had another closet inside it. Eldness... eldnlde... ENDLESS... do-doors, man, what if you just kept opening doors and they went on forever?" Robbie spilled half his solo cup on Nate's shoe. "Where would you fucking go. It doesn't matter. YOUR CLOSET IS TOO FUCKING BIG."
"Someone cut this asshole off," Tambry buried her face in her phone, likely uploading pictures of aforementioned asshole to tumblr. "He can't handle sugar and he definitely can't handle booze."
"You're dumb, and I'm going to prove it, I'm go-gonna..." The ravenette teetered again, grabbing the nearest object he saw fit and holding it up like a prize. "I am going to fit all these marshmallows in my nose, and I am going to be a god."
"Sweet jesus." said Lee.
"Dude, you're on! I'll race you!" Thompson said not because he was under the influence of mind-altering substances, but because he was Thompson.
The gauntlet was thrown as the 6 of them designated their corner of the lawn to a literal cesspool of drunken stupidity. Tambry started filming the moment the others started throwing money down, betting on who could fit more sugary death into the orifices they possessed. Thompson had going for him that he was sober, but Robbie was the literal king of fitting glucose-ridden substances into places they didn't belong.
Eventually, after a lot of screaming and more alcohol, Robbie took home the trophy and proved that yes, he was indeed a god. Thompson, in retaliation, threw a hot dog directly at Robbie's face. The lukewarm meat slipped down his clammy visage and he shrugged in apathy. Wendy dared Nate to eat it and it was only after he'd taken the first bite that Tambry ran to a bush and projectile vomited. The night was young.
Since then, the rest of them spent the evening rocking out to the tunes and getting more and more shitfaced. Robbie (who was an obvious lightweight) used his time wisely by deciding to grind all over his girlfriend (who held her alcohol like a 200-pound linebacker) while she laughed and pushed him off and generally made comments ranging from "you're such a little shit," to "god, I love you."
"Hey, hey-babe, what do you say we ditch this place?"
"You're a trashy bastard."
"I know. Let's hook up in your boss' closet."
"You're drunk."
"So are you."
"Correction, dude; I'm drinking. You're drunk."
Robbie just smirked, kissed her, and excused himself to walk 5 feet, turn away, and pull out a sharpie.
"What are you doing?"
"Dr-drawing a dick... on my face..."
"Again? Dude, you literally do this every time we party."
He stared at her, dead serious with the wobbly depiction of male anatomy all across his cheek. "It's going to happen anyways."
Wendy giggled, starting to feel the haze getting to her. She wrapped her arms around the Robbie, trailing her fingers up to the shaggy, shaven fuzz on the back of his head. She pulled him into another kiss, fiddling with the zipper on his hoodie and brushing her tongue against his lips. He could feel her grinning devilishly, and he fucking loved it.
The two of them ended up on the other end of the porch, too wrapped up in memorizing the taste of each other's acidic saliva to pay anyone else any notice. Hastily grasping door knobs, falling into the shack, knocking over merchandise that Stan would no doubt yell about in the morning-all the while never opening their eyes.
Robbie considered making up several more jokes about large closets while he made out with Wendy in a painfully small one, filled with god knows what kind of fake tourist trap bullshit and probably a shit ton of bugs. Surprisingly, however, he remembered that there was an attractive female kissing him and whispering his name in between breaths, and quickly focused on that. He made a mental note to get drunk more often-suddenly he was invincible, and confident, and probably able to last more than 30 seconds if he put his mind to it.
He bit her lip, and she moaned something extremely vulgar into his throat, and at that point there was pretty much no way this wasn't the best night of his life.
o0o0o0o0o0o
Dipper looked at the can of beer on the porch next to him. Then at everyone else at the party, enjoying themselves and laughing with their friends. Then back at the beer. Then at Wendy falling out of the shack with her shirt unevenly buttoned up and marks all over her collarbones and her boyfriend hanging off of her in a euphoric heap.
He took a sip.
...and then promptly through the can halfway across the yard. This is disgusting. He thought. Why would anyone drink that?
The brunette buried his face in his arms, resting his eyelids on his cold knees and accepting his fate that there was no way he and Wendy could both be happy tonight. It was a sacrifice he had to make often for the greater good, and it was starting the look like the fates simply did not will him to be anything important to her. Sighing, he sat there for a moment just taking in the music, and hoping someone would comfort him-but everyone was busy to their own advances, and he was alone.
Dipper was jolted out of his journey into preteen angst only by the sound of an engine revving, and he panicked when he saw that the older kids were all packing into Thompson's van, off on some adventure (or probably to crash at his house) elsewhere. Scrambling to his feet, he ran to Wendy, who was on her way into the back seat, and frantically tried to get her attention. It was now or never.
"Wendy! Hey!"
She turned around, eyes half-lidded and glazed over. "Yeah, man?"
"Th-there's, uh..." He twiddled his thumbs. "Wendy, there's something I gotta tell you. Before I have to leave tomorrow. And I was-wondering, i-if maybe you could come by in the morning before my parents come and take Mabel and I home?"
She tilted her head and smiled sweetly. "Yeah, alright!"
"You can't forget, Wendy, okay?" He near-begged. "Please. This is really important. No matter what. You gotta show up before noon, alright?"
She leaned down so she was on his level, her expression never faltering from that charismatic kindness it always radiated, and held out her pinky. "My word's always good, Dips. Trust me."
Those words echoed in his mind. Since the day he was brought here, Dipper had been told to trust no one. He was beginning to think that this shell he had put up-that air of nervousness every time he met someone new-was all irrational. Smiling, he nodded, and locked his finger with hers.
"See you soon!" She beamed, and Dipper's heart couldn't help but soar as he watched the van speed off down the gravel road.
o0o0o0o0o0o
The Pines boy had been fidgeting in his bed for an hour, unable to sleep because of anxiety and nerves-things that plagued him often, especially since meeting Wendy. Most nights, he would lie awake with his face dyed a deep red; thinking about her eyes and her smile and her long hair and the way she carried herself and just her. Or he'd plan adventures for them, going to the pool and wreaking havoc again, or him showing her all his secret places in the forest, exploring and monster hunting and having fun together. Being with Wendy. Holding Wendy's hand. Kissing Wendy.
He buried his face under his pillow again, ashamed that after a whole summer, this infatuation of his had only gotten worse. Berating himself for not being good enough or old enough to be the man of her dreams, and knowing full well that she did have definite feelings for Robbie, he made a dying animal noise and turned over again, only to be met with his sister's face as she shouted 'HELLO!'
He jumped, regained his composure, and wearily looked around the room for anyone else planning on startling him. The clock read 3 AM and there was no one else (besides the usual pig) occupying the room. He turned back over, grumbling slightly.
"Did everyone go home?" He inquired.
"Yeah," Mabel responded. "Soos gave Candy and Grenda a ride home after carrying Grunkle Stan inside and throwing him on his bed. That was fun."
He didn't respond.
"But hey, how are you, brobro?" She jumped up on her bed, kicking her feet and leaning toward him. "I didn't see you with Wendy, much."
Dipper groaned into his pillow again. "She was drinking and with Robbie all night. Even if I could get her away from him to talk to her, there's no way the mood could've been right! I want to tell Wendy when she's herself, not when she's completely letting loose everywhere and probably won't remember in the morning."
"Dipper, this is bad! You have to tell her before we leave!"
"I know, I know, I had a backup plan. I asked her to come by in the morning and she promised me she would..." He sighed. "But this is hard. Girls are hard. Girls in high school are even harder. They're like... complete aliens!"
Mabel's ears perked ever so slightly, and she grinned.
Quietly, she tiptoed over to his mattress, where he was faced away from her, and eased under the half-strewn covers next to him, wrapping her arms around his chest and hugging him softly. He shifted a bit, raising his eyes up from the pillow but still not looking at her.
"Mabel? What're you doing?"
He couldn't see her, but her smile shone through in her tone. "Protecting you from the aliens."
Dipper mirrored her expression (that smile he was thankful they shared) and closed his eyes. The both of them smelled like bonfire smoke and pine needles and sweat, and for the first time in a while, Dipper managed to sleep soundly and peacefully.
o0o0o0o0o0o
The morning was still crisp when their parents car rolled into Stan's driveway, and already things were getting bittersweet. Packing up their rooms in the attic had to have been one of the hardest things the two of them had ever done, and many an argument was had on what was happening with Waddles. Soos was crying and hugging them both, Stan was trying to hide the fact that he was getting emotional as well, and overall it was just sads all around for the whole family.
The elder Pines had pulled into Stan's driveway sometime around 11, and Dipper was awake worrying about Wendy's absence long before then. He wanted to have faith in her more than anything in the world-but the odds were inevitably stacked against him. She could've forgotten in her walk-of-shame induced haze, or been unable to catch a ride, or could've even slept through any alarm she made a futile attempt to set. Dipper came from a fairly honest upbringing, but when his family let loose on the holidays, he knew what the aftermath looked like, and that knowledge scared him.
His parents were starting to grow tired of catching up with Stanford (who undoubtedly had a reputation in the family) and Dipper's anxiety levels were skyrocketing. He'd been stalling for god knows how long, with Mabel lending her services to him in an attempt to help, but he could see the control of this situation slipping out of his hands, and was starting to resign himself to the thought that he was probably not going to get this off his chest for a long time.
It wasn't until he eased into the sulk he would keep for the next couple months that he heard rapid footsteps coming from the opposite direction. His heart jumped, and he slowly turned around to see his redemption-her hair was unbrushed and messy and her eyes were only just shaking sleep, but she was running for her life and had the biggest grin on her face when she nearly collapsed at Dipper's feet. The worry in his chest sunk into some deep, dark corner of the ocean in his heart, and he smiled so big his cheeks hurt.
"Dude, I am so sorry I'm late." Wendy said in between panting breaths. "I overslept and then no one could give me a ride so I had to run here."
"I'm just glad you showed!" He beamed. "I thought you weren't going to make it."
"Told you, man. My word's always good. I don't break promises."
He kicked the dirt beneath his worn sneakers, and nodded, almost ashamed for ever doubting her.
"Alright, I did my part, what's this thing you gotta tell me? Make it good."
Dipper searched inside himself, desperate for a shred of confidence like the radiance she so often displayed. He realized, then that it was now or never, and these silly anxieties of his would mean nothing when he was speeding down a California road, far away from this girl he learned to love. He couldn't help that he was shaking, or that his heart felt like it was going to explode-but he remembered 3 months of fighting monsters, and protecting the people he loved from harm, and facing fears he spent his whole life thinking were far off dreams. Somewhere inside him, there was a brave adventurer who could take on anything, and he convinced himself that this was no different from any other obstacle he had been put up against. So he took another breath, looked up at her, and began his official statement, his resignation to this fear that rested inside of him for so long.
"On June 12th I pulled into this town and unpacked my bags and started mentally preparing myself for a summer full of learning how to pitch tents and tie knots with distant family I barely knew. And I never really planned for a lot of the things that I saw here to happen, but I remember Grunkle Stan giving us the tour and telling us what we could and couldn't touch, dismissing you and Soos as 'those are your co-workers, be nice to them because I can't afford to fire anyone.' And that was the first time I saw you and I couldn't help but notice how your eyelids never really lifted themselves when you'd read your magazines with your muddy boots on the counter or how you'd carve graffiti into the wood, and I always thought it was sort of... endearing.
"The week after that I was having a bad morning but suddenly Stan left the building and you transformed into this person I'd never seen before. You took me by the hand and brought me into a world, your world, where you were free to do what you wanted. You set this happy place up where no one could tell you what to do and you let me and my sister experience it with you. When you picked that pinecone up and hit that totem pole from 15 feet away something inside of me struck a match, and when you looked down at me and gave me that high five the match dropped and lit my heart on fire.
"The fact that you never get sick of me and Mabel is what keeps me coming back. No matter what you're doing, or who you're with, if I want to be there, too, I can. Wendy, you've never turned me away. And I'm young, but you don't see me as less than you, even if I do sometimes. The thing is, I worry a lot-and I try to combat it, by analyzing the situation and making plans and lists and equations to try and make every scenario work out in my favour. But you don't. I worry about things, and you do them, and I think a part of me wants to be like you, but knows I never will, so instead, I admire you from afar. And I knew that I'm me, and I could never be you, and that's why my brain did the next best thing. The truth is... Wendy Corduroy, I'm in love with you. And I'd like to say that this is just a crush on some cool older girl and I'll forget in years to come. But it isn't. It's been three months, and you're still the light of my life."
She kneeled there, sitting on eye level with him, peering into him like he was a precious jewel. People didn't say things like that to her. The people who loved her most just kept it all inside and let bits of their adoration slip out when their guard was down-she'd learned that from years of boys who found themselves drawn to her for one reason or another. A lot of things made sense, in retrospect-she'd never taken the time to consider that this boy was so interested in who she was as a person, but it warmed her, and her cautious awe slowly metamorphosed into a soft grin. "Dipper..."
"Don't worry about it," He said. "I'm not hoping for anything. There's too many odds stacked against me. But I wanted to tell you for good, before I had to say goodbye until whenever. I know I'm too young, and you obviously... love the guy you're with, and it's okay. It's alri-"
His speech was cut short when she grabbed his shoulders and pulled him towards her and kissed him, in front of everyone who had been listening and watching the emotional event. It wasn't meant to have romantic inclination-Wendy was a firm believer in the fact that platonic intimacy was a thing that was very allowed. It was innocent, and parting, and she held him there for what felt like forever, suddenly very choked up to see him leave. From behind them, Mabel strung her fingers together and leaned to the side, bursting with happiness and pride at the thought that this was probably the happiest moment of her brother's life thus far. Soos joined her, Stan made a gagging noise, and their parents chatted happily amongst themselves and exchanged whispers of 'That must be the girl he talked about so much,' and 'Oh, yeah, she seems nice...'
The light wind replaced where Wendy's lips had been a moment ago, and she looked into his muddy eyes, her freckled cheeks adorning the brilliance of her unfaltering smile. She stood up, flicked the underside of his baseball cap, and leaned down to give him a hug. Still dazed and shocked, Dipper said nothing.
"I'll see you next summer. Write me, dorkus."
He swallowed, and nodded, and stared up at her longingly. "Of course."
There were tears pricking the corner of Dipper's eyes, and he blinked them back and took a breath before reluctantly turning away and heading towards the car, where his family was already in and revving the engine, beckoning him to join. His footsteps were slow and heavy and he peeked over his shoulder at her, hoping that she could take all the courage she had and lend him some, too. Telling someone you loved them was one thing. Leaving them was another.
She grinned a big toothy grin and waved as he walked away, and he shyly flailed his arm back at her.
"See you soon!" She shouted as he was carried away down the gravel road, and he only returned his torso to the safety of the car and rolled up the window when she was an orange and green blur in the distance.
Dipper leaned his head against the cool window of the car, removing his hat and staring at the blue embroidery on it like it was a sad memento of the things he'd be without for so long. He set it in his lap, one arm resting over it, the other hanging limp on the seat beside him, where Mabel placed her hand over his and squeezed it tightly.
"Next summer," She smiled her metal smile.
Her brother breathed out the weight on his chest, and watched Gravity Falls pass by outside-a series of evergreen blurs-like a distant dream slipping away as he reluctantly woke up.
"Next summer."