Hank slowly came back to consciousness. He lifted his head, regretting it when lightning pain made him feel like his head was going to explode. His hands went on both temples and he closed his eyes again. There was thickly almost dried blood on one side of his head and he tried to remember what had happened to him. He just couldn't remember. He sat up, ignoring the nagging pain.

The light hurt in his eyes. But he looked around the room to find a any hint. When he saw the mattress and the vomit a fear came back: "Evan? Evan! Where are you?"

There was no response. He slowly got to his feet dizzy, a little swaying. His hand found the wall. He took a deep breath before every single step, his hand always at the wall to be more steadied. Three minutes later he reached the stairway. There was no rail to hold on to and he didn't think the wall was enough for him to take those steps in his hazy state. It wasn't long, but steep. He got down on his knees and took the stairs on all fours. Nausea was coming and going, but he swallowed it down and didn't stop once. He knew that he didn't have time.

Once he was out of the basement he used the door to pull himself up to his feet again and to steady himself. "Evan? Are you here?" He closed his eyes to concentrate on any noises in the house. There was the ticking of an old clock, but other than that, he didn't hear anything. He pushed himself forward in hope to find his brother in one of the three rooms or the kitchen. The first room was the living room. He couldn't find anyone there. The same in the guest room, that he didn't even know his father had. Well, he had been at the house only once to get Evan back after a huge fight they had about the money Eddie had talked away from Evan with soothing lies.

He entered the bathroom, but nobody was there. He opened the mirror cabinet in hope to find any hint of the drug and sedative that had been given to Evan, but everything was gone, if it ever had been in there.

The next room was his fathers bedroom. Again the room was empty. But he went to the wardrobe to find some clothes. He really had to change before leaving the house. Going through the clothes was going pretty quickly, his father obviously didn't care for stylish or good clothes unless he was planning some fraud. Well, he himself didn't care much either, but he tried and he had Evan who always had the best taste in such things. Thinking about it, he had to admit that Evan was pretty good in a lot of things. Cooking, shopping, accounting, making people especially Hank laugh, he was kind, polite and helpful. And he's the best baby brother. Couldn't ask for better one.

His hands froze at a certain set of clothes. A shirt that said: Yeah, I love numbers – call me a freak, you bitch! It was black and the print was in neon pink. Evan loved this shirt. He had cherished it since the day Hank had given it to him.

It was a hot day in New York City, humidity was doing the rest. He was already late, didn't get out of the hospital. He had to be at Evan's college in thirty minutes and still had to change and drive there. Well, it was still enough time to make it. If he wouldn't find a good seat, he'd just stand there and watch the ceremony.

He was just about to change, when a nurse came in. 'Dr. Lawson, Mr. Mortimer wants to see you.'

'Tell him I'll be there in four minutes.'

'I'm sorry, Sir, but I think he's pretty angry for some reason and...'

Hank sighed. 'Thank you, Laura. I'm going now." Mr. Mortimer had an office in their hospital and Hank was sure that he had to hear another complain about the costs for material, medication, equipment and so on. Hank would explain to him, as he always did, why the money was needed and the conversation would end without any changes or consequences. He just hoped it would be faster this time.

He took a final look at his watch and told himself 26 minutes. Mr. Mortimer didn't wait for him to close the door behind him. He started his usual speech and Hank was waiting impatiently for the hospitals accountant to stop so that he could hold his own usual speech and get out there.

When the speech went on and on, he found himself looking at the time again. 20 minutes left. Now it was damn tight. He was thankful the college wasn't too far from the hospital. He closed his eyes for a moment, silently praying for the annoying man with the annoying personality and a very boring monotone voice to stop. He promised to celebrate every single Jewish holiday, if he could just attend the ceremony that would start his brothers new part of life.

'Am I boring you, Dr. Lawson?'

Hank felt caught. Well, he was. His mind told him to just tell the man he will write down his speech so that the accountant could read it every time he wanted to. But he just said: 'No, not at all, but I guess you know my answer, Sir.'

'Well, I don't.'

Hank sighed. 'Mr. Mortimer it's the same that it was last month and the month before and the year before and the last three years.'

'You didn't even listen, Dr. Lawson.'

'Yes, I did.' He so did not!

'So there is nothing you can tell me about Evan R. Lawson? You're not related?'

Hanks eyebrow raised in confusion. Did he just mention Evan?

'His my younger brother, why would you ask?'

'We were looking for young accountants to give them a chance to gain some experiences here. They wouldn't make a lot of money, but they'll have a much better chance to get very well paid jobs after the three years here. A few people knew that it was a great chance and send their applications. Your brother was one of them. The hospital manager had sort out three and again your brother was one of them. Now it's my decision who's the best for us.'

Hank hadn't known that his brother had sent an application to the hospital. But he knew that Evan had told him such places were a great reputation for his chance to start a real career in his job. 'I see. Well, how can I help you? Evan is one of the best of the new accountants this year. And I am not talking New York City. He's in the top ten list national wide. I guess that's all you have to know and you can ask him all the other things if you just invite to an interview.'

'You know, Dr. Lawson, he has sent applications to four other hospitals in this city. And as far as I'm informed to at least twenty more in the whole state. We hospital accountants talk. One of them told me about an Eddie Lawson. I think he's your father. He was in jail. Is known for fraud, alcohol issues and gambling. See, there is always one that gets the bad genes. You are a well known and great doctor, so obviously you were not the one.'

'Stop! Are you saying that Evan is like our father? You don't even know my brother!'

'I don't have to, I don't like to have someone responsible for the hospitals money with a criminal and addicted father.'

'So you let me come here to tell me you won't give him a chance?'

'Yes, and I don't think I can handle two Lawsons anyway. I guess you know what I mean, right?'

Hank knew. They didn't like each other. No bit. They worked in the same hospital, but didn't talk to each other, if they didn't talk about the costs etc. 'What is that supposed to mean, Mr. Mortimer?'

'As long as you're here, I'm afraid your brother won't get any invitation from me. And the hospital can not allow to lose you.'

'I don't think that's fair. Evan is not at all like Eddie. And just because you and I don't get along doesn't give you the right to not even give him a chance. If he comes here and you don't want him, fine. But you should give him a chance. Remember the manager gave you his application. What will you tell him?'

Mr. Mortimer didn't know what to say about that and Hank grinned inside. He knew he had won. 'I'm gonna call you're brother later and let him come. But remember, we hospital accounts talk.'

Hank left and ran to change clothes. He got into his car and noticed that he was already ten minutes too late. He just hoped Evan wouldn't be one of the first. He didn't want to miss the speech that his brother had worked on for the last four weeks. And damn he promised him.

There was an accident and he had to wait for thirty minutes to drive again. He felt bad, but hoped Evan would understand the situation. When he came to the ceremony it was almost done. Evan had held his speech very early as he could read at the paper he had been given when he came there. He didn't see Evan at first and asked a few other students of his class, if they had seen him.

'Who's Evan?' One guy asked.

'Evan R. Lawson, he was in your class.'

'Richie he means...' The girl wanted to say something, but remembered Evan's brother was standing there with them. 'He means the guy that doesn't talk to anyone.'

Hank could see in the girls eyes that she wanted to add and nobody wants to talk to him anyway. He took a deep breath. 'So, did you see him?'

The guy, Richie, was grinning. 'Yeah, he was looking for someone in the audience before and after his speech, but didn't find one. Hadn't expected that someone would come there for him, don't think he has many friends. No offense, Sir.'

Hank had a hard time to stay calm. He felt the need to beat that grin out of the kids face. 'Where is he?'

'Well he didn't find who he was looking for and started crying like a baby, like he always...ehm sorry, because nobody of the other students wanted to ask their parents, if they had taken a picture of him or a video during the speech. He said he would even pay for it. He ran away to the restrooms.'

Hank turned around and ran there, too. He was so mad at the group, he could still hear them talking about his brother when one of them said 'can you imagine the freaky whore has a brother?' He thought about going back and beat the hell out of the group, but again, he had to find his brother. He knew that the kid would be more than disappointed. Hank ran faster and made it to the restrooms. He could hear Evan's sobs. He felt so guilty. 'Evan? Open the door, it's me, Hank.'

'No, go away, Hank, leave me alone.'

'I won't, I'm sorry I was too late, but I'll find a way to make it up to you.'

'How can you make up for that? It was the most important day in my life and you promised to be there and let me down. Why did you come at all? You don't care for me, you don't love me.' The next words were barely a whisper, probably said to himself and not for Hank to hear. 'Nobody does. I hate myself. Just want to die.'

Hank was shocked. He was beyond shocked. There were suddenly images of his brother in the toilet, hurting or even killing himself. There was a razor blade and far too much blood. That was enough for him to freak out. 'If you don't open that damn door Evan R. Lawson and make me climb into your small room, I'm so gonna kick your ass and won't talk to you forever!' He yelled at Evan. Then he relaxed.

'Listen kiddo, I'm really sorry. Man, I am so proud of you, number 8 of the whole US. Please open the door and let me explain why I didn't make it, okay? Evan of course I care and do love you. Don't you dare to think otherwise.'

'You really do, Henry?'

'Do you really have to ask? Don't you know it? Yes, I do. Since I laid eyes on you the very first time and till I'll close my eyes forever, remember?' That's what he had told him every night in the foster home.

'Okay.' Evan got out at the toilet and into Hank's arms. 'You don't have to explain.'

Hank looked like an idiot now. 'Evan, the door wasn't closed the whole time I talked.'

Evan looked at him with this heart warming charming smile. 'Never said it was.'

Two days later Evan had had the conversation with Mr. Mortimer and didn't get the job and didn't get any other job in the other hospitals. It took him a while to talk about it, but then he told Hank that Mr. Mortimer had made him look like he was Dad and that he couldn't trust him enough. Hank remembered the accountants threat and was so pissed. He would take care of that problem, but for now he had planned a video night with his brother. They watched to of Evan's favorite movies and then he got another one that he wanted to show him.

'I don't think I can make it through another one, Henry, I'm so tired.'

'It's a short one and you won't regret it.'

He sat down next to Evan and laid his arm over his shoulder. Evan was a bit surprised, but when he saw the video of his speech... he didn't know what to say. He thought he had never been this happy before. 'How did you get this, Hank?'

'Let's say I have connections.' Yeah, I was talking to the parents of the mean group and threatened them to sue their children for mobbing, mentally abuse or whatever – he thought, but there was no need to tell Evan.

'Thank you, Hank.'

'No need, kiddo. I have to thank you. Man, I think I'm the proudest big brother in the whole wide world. And this speech... Evan, I didn't know you were so good in such things. I should have known the last doctors ball, when I didn't know how to write my own speech and did so bad.' He reached down next to the couch and got a package for Evan. 'Here, that's for you, hope you like it.'

Evan didn't know what to say and opened the package slowly. There was some money, what Evan thought was too much, and there was a white jeans and, the last one was the one that Evan loved the most, a black shirt that said: Yeah, I love numbers, call me a freak you bitch! And in small white letters on the left sleeve it said. For the best brother, love Hank.

'Thank you, Hank.' Evan was close to tears and so was Hank, so he hugged him tightly to hide them from his little brother.

And the shirt he was holding now, was exactly this one with some blue jeans that belonged to Evan, too. And he suddenly remembered the entry in the diary about Evan waking up naked in NYC. I am so gonna kill Eddie!

He looked for clothes that would fit him and changed fast. He took Evan's clothes with him, ran to the kitchen to check there and then to the basement to get his bag. Five minutes later he was on the road thinking of a place where he could start looking for Evan or if he should call the police. That would probably be the best.

He was at the police station for almost two hours and they told him they would do their best to find Evan. Hank insisted to be with them, when they would find Eddie and free Evan. They told him that it was impossible, being a civilian.

"He's my brother and he will need medical treatment right when you get him out. I'm a doctor, I can do that. Those are two good reasons for me to come with you, right?"

"I'm afraid not, Sir. We will make sure an ambulance will be there and we'll let you know which hospital will be the chosen one."

Hank was too exhausted to argue. He left and rent a room in a small hotel. They had a small store with casual clothes for men. He bought a few things for himself and for Evan and went to his room.

He was thinking of Evan all the time. Suddenly remembering that his brother had said something the moment they took him away. If he just knew what it had been. No matter how hard he tried, he didn't remember. He didn't want to sleep and fought it for another hour, but then his body took what it needed and he fell in a deep dreamless sleep.