Chapter 15 – Nothing to Forgive

"I also think that you're okay now, Sesshoumaru-sama," Kagome added in a soft tone.

Sesshoumaru paused in his stride and slid a lazy golden eye towards the small miko. She met his gaze with a soft light in her eyes. The Taiyoukai only saw honesty and concern reflected in her eyes. It was just like the miko to think of others instead of herself.

"Why would you need this Sesshoumaru's help in going home when you can use magic?" Sesshoumaru asked.

He looked away and walked on leaving a furiously blushing miko.

He was used to being roused from his nightly meditation by Rin's whimpers when she had nightmares. That happened once every two to three moons. But in these past dozen or so nights, Sesshoumaru barely made it through two or three successful meditations. To top it off, he was roused with uncomfortable spikes of Miko energy.

The miko would cry out as if in pain. She would curl into a ball as if to protect her stomach then cry out her friends' names. She also cries out for the nekomata and another one called 'Buyo.'

But most of her nightmares were about Rin. She cries out Rin's name and begs for her forgiveness. There are times where the miko grovels for Jaken, Ah-Uhn and him. If the circumstances were different, it would have been quite a scene. But with the miko crying her heart out and lashing with Miko energy, it was anything but. Previously, all the Taiyoukai had to do is to project a bit of youki and the miko would calm down. She wouldn't even remember what happened the next day. But the nightmare tonight seemed to be worse than usual.

The dragon's side was smoking as its flesh sizzled with purification energy. It was bellowing both in pain and concern for the miko who was crying in her sleep.

"Miko, you will wake up now," Sesshoumaru commanded as he lashed out his youki at her. Kagome was seemingly unaffected as her Miko energy protected her.

He increased the pressure of his youki with no effect. "Miko, you will stop this at once!" The Taiyoukai pressed on with his youki until he drew blood. But Kagome stayed trapped in her nightmare. Growing angry, the Taiyoukai knelt beside her. "Miko, you are but having an unpleasant dream. Wake up now," he commanded as he gave her shoulder a firm shake and a jolt of youki.

Kagome's eyes snapped open as soon as the Taiyoukai touched her. Tears leaked from her eyes as she blearily looked around her. "Sesshoumaru-sama, what's the matter? Is it morning already?"

"You were having a nightmare. You lashed out with your Miko," he explained. He was puzzled that the miko sounded normal yet tears continued to pour from her eyes.

"Oh, did I? I'm sorry about that," she said as she looked around for her bed companion. "Is that why Ah-Uhn is standing over there?"

"You do not remember your dream, miko?" Sesshoumaru asked.

She visibly flinched as she looked away from the Taiyoukai. She fidgeted and rubbed her lower lip. The Taiyoukai frowned, "Do not lie to this Sesshoumaru, miko."

Kagome's breath hitched as she looked up at Sessoumaru with tear-filled eyes. When she couldn't hold in her sobs anymore, her face crumpled and she scrambled on her hands and knees in front of the Taiyoukai. "I beg your forgiveness, Sesshoumaru-sama," she sobbed. "I let Rin die. I couldn't protect her! I am a miko and yet I couldn't save her. She was right beside me. If only I was as good as Kikyou then Rin would be alive. Please forgive me, Sesshoumaru-sama!"

The miko sobbed as her body shook uncontrollably with her cries. Finally, she collapsed at the Taiyoukai's feet with the weight of her grief.

Sesshoumaru was at a loss of what to do. With Rin, all he had to do was to tell her to stop crying and to go back to sleep. But the miko wouldn't even wake when told much less if he asked her to stop crying or go back to sleep. He remembered that Rin took comfort in stroking his mokomoko-sama when she particularly had a bad dream about wolves. So he unravelled a part of his mokomoko-sama and brought the tip down to the miko. She promptly grabbed onto it and held on for dear life.

The dragon then came back to the miko's side and started crooning to her. Its sizzled flesh was already knitting back. "Ah-Uhn, Im so.. so.. sorry.. hic.. I didn't.. hic.. mean to.. to.." Uhn draped its head over the miko's sobbing shoulders as if it understood. Ah continued to croon over her.

The Taiyoukai didn't know what else to do so he just stood over the sobbing miko. Though the salt of her tears were offensive, he knew that humans needed this in order to move on.

It puzzled him why the miko took on the burden of his ward's death. Though he did blame her for a moment before, he understood it within himself that the fault lay with himself. Rin was his ward. She was his responsibility and not the miko's. In order to fulfil his duty to Rin and to redeem his honour, he would have to take down Naraku. Naraku would pay for taking his pup's life and for slighting his pack.

Kagome calmed down after a while as she took deep steadying breaths. Uhn nuzzled her cheek as she hiccupped. She patted the dragon's side in apology and reassurance. "I'm a bit okay now, Ah-Uhn, thanks," she whispered to the dragon.

She hazarded a peek up at the Taiyoukai who was calmly gazing at the stars. Fluffing up the mokomoko-sama as she held it up from the ground, she softly called out to Sesshoumaru. "Arigato Sesshoumaru-sama and I'm sorry for disturbing you."

Sesshoumaru looked down at the still trembling miko. His golden eyes trailed her mussed hair, her wide eyes glassy from crying and down to her lips wet from tears. She looked like a fragile doll that can be broken by the slightest touch. A far cry from the fiery warrior-miko who fought beside his half-brother. The miko projected a strong and calm façade outwardly. But in reality, she could easily be broken. Proof is that she has yet to resolve her feelings about what happened to Rin.

The miko blushed under his scrutiny. He paid no heed to it as her Miko energy caught his attention. Earlier, it was roiling in agony over her as she cried. He then noted that it was his mokomoko-sama's doing. Now that he paid attention, the youki flowing from his mokomoko-sama was coaxing her Miko to settle down. This has never happened before. Normally, his mokomoko-sama didn't act on its own. With Rin, it just acted as a blanket and nothing more.

"I'm sorry, is it because I got the scent of my tears in your mokomoko-sama?" she asked as the Taiyoukai continued to say nothing. "Or you are angry because I let Rin.."

"You are cold," he told the startled miko as he dropped his fur on top of the miko, effectively cutting off her question. He watched in fascination as the mokomoko-sama's youki eagerly blanketed the miko who visibly relaxed.

He started to go back to his tree. "Sesshoumaru-sama, I'm sorry about what happened tonight and I can't even begin to apologize about Rin.." Kagome started.

"This Sesshoumaru does not blame you. Sleep," Sesshoumaru commanded.

Kagome decided not to push it further. Words wouldn't suffice and couldn't even begin to cover how sorry she felt about Rin. She shaped the fur around her and snuggled beside Ah-Uhn.

Long after the miko fell asleep, the Taiyoukai sat deep in thought. He could distinctly feel his youki calming down the miko through his mokomoko-sama. It has never acted this way before. Normally, it would lay inert and unresponsive. In battles, it would serve as an addition to his armour. It would at times fend off attacks from his person even without his command.

His gaze slid towards the sleeping miko. She was still plagued with bad dreams. But his mokomoko-sama seemed to be taking care of those. She did not need to bear the guilt of Rin's death to the point of having nightmares. She did not need to apologize because the fault did not lay with her.

Sesshoumaru turned his gaze back the skies. "There is nothing to forgive. Naraku will be the one to pay," he murmured to the stars.

A/N: Leave this poor author some love!