The interviewer being interviewed
After three long days of staying at home under her blanket and praying that the Gorilla Man wouldn't find her, Maya Normousbutt finally stepped outside.
Then ran back inside when she saw the Gorilla Man glaring at her with his stupid beady eyes from his place in his garden.
So, another day at home it is.
Maya Normousbutt sighed loudly as she sat down in front of her computer. She missed being outside. She could hardly remember anymore how it was outside.
Are people still laughing there? Is the wind still blowing? Is the homeless man in the park still talking to his dead rat?
It felt like a punishment, to be stuck in her incredibly big and comfy and super-cute house. Though she had to admit to herself, being in her house was better than facing the giant Gorilla Man who could kill her with his chainsaw.
Still, she felt so isolated from the world. It was horrible.
Well, at least she could still use the internet, thank God.
Maya Normousbutt checked her Facebook page, no new comment on her Wall – ugh – but there was a new comment on Caesar Flickerman's Wall, and so she immediately went to check it. Caesar Flickerman was her favorite interviewer. Even better than Hugh Jass and Jack Goff.
She read his profile quickly.
Caesar Flickerman profile page
Name: The one and only – Caesar Flickerman! *applause*
Age: Ninety seven. God bless the plastic surgeries :D
Home: Living with Granny in the Capitol.
Current location: In my room :P
Interested in: Interviewing people, asking questions, plastic surgeries, make up, the Hunger Games.
In a relationship: No. But I have Granny with me, and that's all I need.
Maya Normousbutt snorted. Ninety years old and still lives with his Granny? And didn't have a girlfriend?
Hmm. That was actually a rather pleasant surprise. He didn't have a girlfriend and he was all alone with his Granny.
Maybe he is desperate. Maybe he wants someone to... fill his needs.
Heehee.
Maya Normousbutt decided to maybe send him a picture of her in her slutiest lingerie and ask him if he perhaps wants to go out and drink some coffee with her.
Or stay at her place, probably. The Gorilla Man was still out there, after all.
Maya Normousbutt checked Caesar's Wall and saw that he was the one who posted a comment on his Wall, on April 3rd at 19:56PM.
'Greetings everyone, and welcome to Caesar Flickerman's profile page!'
Oh, his formal voice was really making her melt like ice cream in a hot day.
Hmm, ice cream…
President Snow The Sexy Rooster then replied to Caesar's comment.
'Geez, you're so formal. Want my advice? If you want to connect with the younger, "cooler" kids, say something cool! Here, watch – 'sup, dawgs? Now you try!'
Maya Normousbutt silently prayed to herself that Caesar won't say those horrible, cursed words.
'…'sup, dawgs?'
Maya Normousbutt sighed, but forgave Caesar for listening to the horrible advices of the horrible President Snow. But only because she wanted to go out with him.
President Snow The Sexy Rooster then sent a comment.
'That is so neat, Flicker! :D'
...Flicker?
Finnick Odair then joined the conversation.
'You do realize nobody here says that word, right?'
President Snow The Sexy Rooster replied to Finnick's comment.
'You're right… no one here says that! That probably means I became cooler than all of you combined! I feel so totally awesome, yo!'
Snort.
Caesar Flickerman replied to President Snow The Sexy Rooster's comment.
'Come on, Snow. We're not "cool" anymore. We're not the young, fit guys that we used to be.'
President Snow The Sexy Rooster replied quickly.
'Yeah, I miss being sixty. But I'm still cool! I'm neat, bro! Neat, I tell you!'
Katniss Everdeen then joined the conversation.
'What do you mean by 'Neat'? That you're clean and organized? Because I took a bath only a month ago, and feel as clean as a bunny. Does this mean I'm neat too?'
President Snow The Sexy Rooster replied to her comment.
'*laughing and shaking his head* Oh, Katniss. You're so stupid. Being neat means being cool. Not being organized! You're so clueless :D'
Annie Cresta then joined the conversation.
'I want to interview you, Caesar.'
Caesar Flickerman replied quickly.
'Everybody does, sweetheart ;)'
Oh, his smiley face was really making Maya Normousbutt feel all hot and bothered.
President Snow The Sexy Rooster sent the next comment.
'Ooh, yes! Let's interview the interviewer! We'll interview him GOOD!'
And President Snow's comment was making all of those feelings disappear.
Johanna Mason then joined the conversation.
'*cough*Creep*cough*'
President Snow The Sexy Rooster replied quickly.
'Bless you ^^'
Annie Cresta wrote the next comment.
'I'll go first – What do you think of the mad hatter in Alice in Wonderland?'
Caesar Flickerman sent a response.
'Love his fashion sense :)'
Katniss Everdeen sent the next question.
'What do you think of… "Percy Jackson"?'
Caesar Flickerman answered quickly.
'A bad combination between Harry Potter, Greek mythology and Narnia.'
Finnick Odair wrote the third question.
'What do you think of the "Jersey Shore" cast?'
Caesar Flickerman answered quickly.
'Orange body spray is just SO last season! Seriously, blue is all the rage now. They're just so out of date.'
President Snow The Sexy Rooster asked the fourth question.
'Ooh, I have a question, I have a question! Whose team are you on – Team Edward… or Team Jacob?'
Caesar Flickerman answered almost immediately.
'Team Jacob.'
And with that answer, Maya Normousbutt lost her attraction to the ninety-year-old desperate man who still lived with his Granny.
Really, why did he have to say this horrible sentence and lose all of his appeal?
President Snow The Sexy Rooster replied almost immediately.
'WHAT? Are you absolutely MAD?'
Finnick Odair replied almost instantly.
'HEY! Don't say that word in front of A-N-N-I-E!'
President Snow The Sexy Rooster ignored him.
'Edward is clearly the better choice! He's hot, he sparkles!'
Johanna Mason replied to President Snow The Sexy Rooster's comment.
'He's like the lost son of Dracula and Tinkerbelle.'
SNORT!
Finnick Odair, Caesar Flickerman, Katniss Everdeen and Annie Cresta liked Johanna's comment.
Caesar Flickerman sent the next comment.
'Sorry, I just… I don't see what the fuss is all about. He's not that hot. Actually, he resembles a Druze house; square and sparkles.'
Johanna Mason, Finnick Odair and Katniss Everdeen liked Caesar's comment.
President Snow The Sexy Rooster was still fighting back.
'Oh, yeah? Well, what about Jacob then, ah? I mean, he turns into a huge fury dog, he owns a motorcycle and his last name is Black! Remind you of someone? *cough*Sirius Black!*cough*'
Caesar Flickerman replied quickly.
'At least he's cool.'
Maya Normousbutt shook her head. No. No, he isn't.
President Snow The Sexy Rooster apparently agreed with her.
'Okay, you know what? You've just got yourself a very powerless enemy! An enemy that already lost all of his poison supply and can't do anything to you, so be aware!'
Annie Cresta sent the next comment.
'You know what? I always liked Jasper Hale the best.'
Maya Normousbutt nodded her head. Finally, someone who made sense!
Katniss Everdeen replied quickly.
'Yeah, me too.'
Johanna Mason replied then.
'Me too.'
Finnick Odair was the last to agree on the matter.
'Hale is the best!'
Caesar Flickerman sent the final comment.
'…you guys suck.'
Team Jasper really is the best. LOVE LOVE LOVE Jackson Rathbone! *heart*
Some of you really didn't like what I wrote about Percy Jackson, and asked if this is my real opinion. Okay, so I've never actually read the books. I've only seen the movie. And I hated the movie, it was just so... boring. The only character I liked there was Luke, and it was only because he was so hot. So I based that line about Percy Jackson being a bad combination on the movie, not on the books. My sister actually read the books, she's obsessed with it, she says it's amazing. She has a nice taste, after all she loves everything I love, so yeah, maybe the books are awesome. So, to sum it up, no, I didn't read the books, my opinion was based solely on the movie.
Hope you all have a lovely day :)