Katniss is getting cooler

President Snow walked slowly in his beautiful garden, smelling the roses and feeling content and happy.

What a wonderfully wonderful day!

President Snow walked a little while longer, savoring the warm breeze, then sat down next to his beautifully decorated table in the middle of the garden and turned on the pink laptop – which was his niece's, obviously not his! – and logged into Facebook.

He felt peaceful, as he smelled the roses and checked his Facebook page.

President Snow The Sexy Rooster profile page

Name: President Snow :D

Age: I rather not say… *blush*

Home: My mansion in the Capitol. One of the privileges of being a president :P

Current location: In my garden, smelling roses *heart*

Interested in: Smelling roses, chopping roses, throwing roses, eating roses, cutting roses, hitting on roses, smelling like roses, and seeing twelve year old girls getting killed :D

In a relationship: Had a wife. She took one of my roses. So I made her drink poison. Which means, I'm single! ^^

President Snow smiled as he read his lovely profile. He was just such a badass, and it showed perfectly in his wonderfully wonderful profile.

President Snow's smile grew wider when he saw he had one new message on his Wall, and he checked it immediately, always happy to chat with people.

The message was from Katniss Everdeen, and was received on April 9th at 14:37PM.

'Your love for roses really… creeps me out.'

President Snow The Sexy Rooster rolled his eyes. Really, that girl just didn't know how precious was the love between a man and his roses.

He decided to teach her a lesson. How dare she say that to the president after all?

'Shut your Cum Dumpster, you Choad!'

Heehee.

Katniss Everdeen, apparently, didn't get what he was trying to tell her.

'…what?'

President Snow The Sexy Rooster shook his head again. How stupid could she be?

'*sigh* I forgot you're not as "cool" as me. You should really check out "The Online Slang Dictionary".'

Katniss Everdeen sent the next comment.

'Wait, were you cursing me?'

Well, like all the cool people say, duh!

'See how important it is, to know, as you kids call it these days, slang words?' President Snow The Sexy Rooster wrote, nodding importantly and smelling a few more roses.

Katniss Everdeen replied after a few long minutes.

'I don't care how you called me. I don't. I really don't.'

President Snow The Sexy Rooster shrugged his shoulders, not really caring much, and wrote her a response.

'Okay. If you say so.'

It took Katniss five minutes to break.

'…

Dammit. I need to know.'

And with that, Katniss Everdeen left the conversation.

Finnick Odair then joined the conversation.

'You do realize once she'll find out what it means she'll kill you, right?'

'Oh pish posh!' President Snow The Sexy Rooster wrote, not feeling intimidated in the slightest.

Peeta Mellark then joined the conversation.

'What does it mean?'

Gale Hawthorne joined the conversation too.

'Already forgot the last time you didn't understand something?'

President Snow remembered how Peeta didn't know what is a paraphilia and checked it out. He smirked and liked the comment. Johanna Mason and Finnick Odair liked Gale's comment too.

Peeta Mellark replied quickly.

'*shudders* The meaning of Coprophilia still keeps me up at night.'

Johanna Mason liked this comment.

Annie Cresta then joined the conversation.

'President Snow, you remind me of Snow White.'

Really? Aww, how sweet of her to say that!

President Snow The Sexy Rooster sent her a response.

'Why, thank you dear! :D'

Gale Hawthorne apparently didn't see the resemblance between the beautiful Snow White and the Roses-Lover President Snow, who was also an extremely Sexy Rooster.

'How the hell does President Snow remind you of Snow White?'

President Snow The Sexy Rooster decided to skip a little in his beautiful garden while humming absentmindedly and picking roses off the ground. After he was done with that, he wrote what he just did, because he just knew everyone wanted to know he was having fun in his garden.

'*skipping in the garden, humming absentmindedly, picking roses off the ground*'

Annie Cresta wrote the next comment.

'His name is Snow. Snow White's name is Snow. Snow White drank poison. President Snow drank poison. Snow White died. President Snow loves killing people. It all matches.'

Finnick Odair replied to her comment quickly.

'Good observation, Annie! A shirtless Finnick for you! :)'

President Snow The Sexy Rooster smiled widely and wrote a reply.

'Ooh, can I get a shirtless Finnick too? :D'

It took Finnick Odair 2 seconds to come up with a response.

'No.'

President Snow The Sexy Rooster frowned and bit his lower lip.

'Why not? *pouting* I've been good this year!'

Finnick Odair didn't buy it.

'Oh, really?'

President Snow The Sexy Rooster played with his beard. Well, he did kill those girls… and then that boy… and then the boy and the girl… and of course, how can he forget that poor elephant?

'…okay, I've been naughty.'

Katniss Everdeen finally returned to the conversation after checking out 'The Online Slang Dictionary'.

'President Snow, you f*cking assclown, ding-head, jerk-face, you're a durge, a PITA, you're a complete hairbag!'

President Snow The Sexy Rooster smiled encouragingly.

'Good, you're learning! You're getting cooler by the second :P'

Katniss Everdeen replied quickly and shortly.

'*facepalm*'

Johanna Mason was very focused on one curse in particular.

'Hey, Pita, apparently your name is a curse!'

Heehee!

President Snow The Sexy Rooster liked Johanna Mason's comment. Gale Hawthorne, Finnick Odair, Katniss Everdeen and Annie Cresta all liked the comment too.

Peeta Mellark didn't like it and sent one last comment.

'Humph.'

PITA actually is a curse. It means Pain In The Ass.

an angry person: Ahh... hi. You know, I don't actually hate Peeta. I simply think he's too perfect, but I don't hate him. I know I'm making fun of him a lot in this story, but he's not the only one *cough*President Snow!*cough*. I don't like him, but I don't hate him either.

As for Gale, who, as you wrote it, can go die and is the worst thing that happened to the hunger games... well, that's your opinion, I guess. Just don't get angry at me because I like him more than I like Peeta, because I, too, am entitled to have my own opinions. I do agree with you about Jacob though.

So! I'd really like to get to 1,300 reviews. We're just so close!

If you simply don't know what to write and that's why you don't review, here, let me help you and give you ideas for reviews.

You can write this -

"Oh, Spaidel, you never fail to amaze me with your hilariously hilarious chapters."

Or -

"President Snow is just so creepy!"

Or even -

"Very good chapter! A shirtless Finnick for you! :D"

Choose whatever you like.

Hope we reach 1,300 reviews, and have a lovely day :)