Want to participate in The Hunger Games?

Maya Normousbutt woke up early to the sound of someone sawing things.

Knowing who was sawing and what he might do to her if she'd tell him politely to shut up and stop annoying everyone, she decided to just go to her computer and try to ignore the loud noises.

She wouldn't get any sleep with the sounds of The Gorilla Man's chainsaw.

She looked at her profile first (no new message), sighed and started looking at other people's Walls.

She stopped when she got to Seneca Crane's Wall and saw that there was a new message.

Seneca Crane profile page

Name: Seneca Crane. Not his beard, but the REAL, HUMAN, Seneca Crane.

Age: 73.

Home: The Capitol.

Current location: In the Gamemakers room.

Interested in: Hunger Games, making deadly mutts, killing tributes, setting trees on fire, setting Katniss on fire, setting random things on fire.

In a relationship: Am committed to the games. Have no need of a wife.

The new message was actually from Seneca Crane himself, and was received on May 6 at 10:22AM.

'Hello, citizens of Panem! It's Seneca Crane here, calling for all of you to come and participate in the 1,037th Hunger Games!'

Maya Normousbutt squealed and clapped her hands enthusiastically. Oh, how she loved those Games! It was way better than Survivor, because in this TV show, people died.

That's just good TV.

Glimmer Loves Glitters then joined the conversation, and Maya Normousbutt knew she was going to suffer her unreadable writing.

'OMG, Seenacea I wud Luv to cum!'

'Heehee,' Haymitch Abernathy sent.

Maya Normousbutt rolled her eyes. So immature.

Johanna Mason then joined the conversation.

'Seriously? You thought what she said was funny? I thought it was sad.'

Katniss Everdeen sent her a reply.

'*shakes head* No, he laughed because she wrote the word 'cum'.'

'Heehee,' Haymitch Abernathy sent.

Annie Cresta sent the next comment.

'What is 'cum'?'

Finnick Odair sent a quick reply.

'I'll show you at home.'

Maya Normousbutt blinked, then felt jealous.

No fair. Why did Annie get to see that, but she didn't?

Just because she was a 50 something year old stalker with a cute fluffy mustache on her upper lip and they have never met?

Seriously.

Cato The Sexy Buffalo then joined the conversation.

'Yuck! Disgusting.'

Maya Normousbutt shook her head. Not disgusting. Magical.

Seneca Crane posted the next comment.

'Anyway… Write to me here if you want to participate!'

A girl whose name was Sevine Laightone Ebony Darkness Polish Black Selene Yogurt (oh God), sent a reply.

'I'd love to participate!'

Seneca Crane replied quickly.

'Great! Just tell me a bit about yourself.'

Sevine Laightone Ebony Darkness Polish Black Selene Yogurt took her time to reply.

'Okay… I'm an only child, I'm seventeen, I'm strong and hot and everyone loves me. I don't know why, sometimes I wish people would stop loving me so much! Why wasn't I born just stunningly hot, and had to be born an amazing, beautifully talented girl!'

'*cough*Mary-Sue*cough*' Katniss Everdeen sent.

Sevine Laightone Ebony Darkness Polish Black Selene Yogurt continued writing about herself.

'My dad raped me. So I killed him. But then my mother got upset because I killed him, so I brought him back to life. He didn't like me much after that incident. So I killed him again. I killed my mom too. I was very sad. I started slitting my wrists, but it took, like, FOREVER for the blood to dry, so I decided to read a book while my wrists were healing. I'm Goth. I hate preps.'

Annie Cresta replied after a few long minutes.

'O.O'

Seneca Crane replied a second after Annie replied.

'GREAT! YOU ARE GOING TO PARTICIPATE IN THE 1,037TH HUNGER GAMES!'

Glimmer Loves Glitters wrote yet another awfully awful comment.

'Im SOO happy fr U, Sevine Laightone Ebony Darkness Polish Black Selene Yogurt! Lit's form a grup & cum tugethr to the Anger Gems!'

'Heehee,' Haymitch sent.

Johanna Mason replied to Glimmer Loves Glitters' comment.

'Your writing is seriously damaging my brain.'

Cato The Sexy Buffalo, Katniss Everdeen, Annie Cresta, Finnick Odair and Seneca Crane liked this.

A new guy, I Love Bob The Builder, joined the conversation.

'I'd love to participate in the hunger games!'

Seneca Crane replied to his comment quickly.

'Great! Tell me about yourself.'

I Love Bob The Builder sent the next comment.

'I'm a boy. My name is Bob. I'm a fan of Bob the Builder. My parents died, I got married, divorced, and I'm a widower. I have eleven kids, most of them from my first marriage.'

Seneca Crane posted the next comment.

'Excellent! Just… how old are you?'

I Love Bob The Builder replied quickly.

'Fourteen.'

Finnick Odair sent the next comment.

'Are you kidding me?'

I Love Bob The Builder replied after a few seconds.

'I'm very mature for my age.'

Seneca Crane sent the next comment.

'You sure are! And you just got accepted to participate in the 1,037th Hunger Games! Congrats!'

Glimmer Loves Glitters sent the next comment.

'Mi torn!'

Johanna Mason quickly sent a comment.

'Oh dear God.'

Maya Normousbutt took a deep breath and prepared herself for the horribleness that is Glimmer's writing.

Glimmer Loves Glitters sent the next comment.

'Am 17 yirs uld. I LUV gliiiters & sparkes & I kan kiil pepole!'

Seneca Crane replied quickly.

'That's great! But, do you have a sad background story? Something devastating or interesting?'

Glimmer Loves Glitters replied to Seneca's comment.

'NNNOOOOOO!'

'...Glimmer roared angrily,' Cato The Sexy Buffalo sent.

Katniss Everdeen, Haymitch Abernathy, Annie Cresta, Finnick Odair, Johanna Mason, I Love Bob The Builder and Sevine Laightone Ebony Darkness Polish Black Selene Yogurt liked this.

Seneca Crane sent the next comment.

'Really? Nothing serious? No one raped you, you didn't discover you were a lesbian and was devastated because of it? Nothing?'

Glimmer Loves Glitters replied quickly.

'Noo, I hd the bast childhud eva!'

Seneca Crane posted his comment a minute later.

'*sigh* then I'm sorry, but you're not what we're looking for.'

Katniss Everdeen sent the next comment.

'Okay, what the hell! Just because she doesn't have a sad, heartbreaking story, then she's not allowed to participate in this Games?'

Seneca Crane replied to Katniss's comment.

'…yep, that sounds about right.'

Katniss Everdeen quickly replied.

'But the Bob's fan and the crazy girl that decided to read a book while slitting her wrists just made that stuff up! That's so obvious!'

Seneca Crane sent the next comment.

'Maybe so… but they'd make great TV.'

Johanna Mason replied to his comment.

'You guys working on reality shows are sickening me.'

Finnick Odair, Annie Cresta, Glimmer Loves Glitters, Haymitch Abernathy, Cato The Sexy Buffalo and Katniss Everdeen liked this.

'I was abducted by aliens!' The Green Creature sent.

'SPLENDID! YOU JUST GOT ACCEPTED TO PARTICIPATE IN THE HUNGER GAMES!' Seneca Crane replied happily.

Katniss Everdeen sent the final comment.

'Humph.'

Heehee, cum... I'm as immature as Haymitch. Seriously. It's like, I have to laugh when I hear the song "Glad you came". I'm extremely immature.

And I know Seneca Crane is not supposed to be 73 years old. I know it. But when I think about the people in the Capitol I think about plastic surgeries and how they hate old people because their beauty fades. So everyone I'm writing about from the Capitol is old. Including Seneca.

Hope you enjoyed the chapter and have a lovely day :)