Sorry I haven't updated in a while! I have a specific way I'm updating and it just happened ^^''
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-TG began pestering TT-
TG: hey dude are you getting laid yet? its been a fucking while since you built the time machine
TG: by your lack of response i assume youre getting laid
TG: about fucking time
TG: congradu-fucking-lations
TG: so can you hurry the fuck up and get the teleporter out of my room
TG: im still owling over here
TG: caw caw motherfucker
TT: Whoa, bro. Chill out.
TT: Not everyone replies as fast as you.
TT: There's an 85% chance that I am going to get laid now and a 95% chance that it will happen within the next three days. And there's a 5% chance I'll remove the teleporter within the week.
TG: fuck your percentages
TG: i need to move dude
TG: what the fuck are you even doing
TT: Cuddling with English. Just chillin and talking.
TG: sounds fucking nice
TG: you know what im doing?
TG: losing all feeling in my ass and my legs
TT: There is a 63% chance that you might be like that until I do get laid.
TG: are you fucking serious
TT: 87% sure that I'm telling the truth.
TG: fuck you and fuck your percentages
TG: hurry up and get laid so you can get the teleporter out of my room and i can fucking move again
TT: I can't control when English wants to let me into his pants.
TT: And I'm not going to rape him.
TG: well no shit
TG: i wouldnt wanna rape anybody either
TG: just turn on the strider swag you should know that it works
TT: There is now a 30% greater chance that something might happen tonight.
TG: so... wait doesnt that mean that the chance is now over 100%?
TG: is that even fucking possible?
TT: You seem a bit slow. . . There was an 85% chance of me getting laid, but the 30% chance was just for something happening, not necessarily me getting laid.
TG: goddammit
-TT changed his status to offline-
8/8/12 8:26 PM
TG: oh hell no you did not just do that
TG: dammit dirk
TG: you get your ass back online
TG: fuck...
During the time that Dirk checked his messages, Jake finished his half of the breakfast and even changed his clothes. Deciding against even attempting to brush his hair today, he instead ran his fingers through the parts that weren't knotted up to try and fix his hair even just a little bit. Of course, it didn't work and his hair just continued to stick up like it normally did, but it was at least worth a shot and he went to the bathroom to brush his teeth. Just because he was an adventurer didn't mean that he didn't have good hygiene! He was still a gentleman, after all.
As Dirk read the messages, he could feel a slight anger and embarrassment rising up. While he was cuddling with Jake, his AR and his brother had been talking about when he was going to get laid. He sighed before using his phone to contact his robots, so one of them could teleport him his clothes and other necessities. After getting his stuff, he nonchalantly threw his phone on the bed, before taking off his shades and stripping out of his white shirt.
As fate would have it, Jake walked out of the bathroom after brushing his teeth just as soon as Dirk stripped off his shirt. A blush made itself known on his cheeks, but he couldn't bring himself to say anything or even move from the spot he was now frozen to. Naturally, his eyes started to slowly wander and he gulped as he eyed the lean muscle that the blond had on him, no doubt from multiple strifes with his older brother and robots. He began to zone out slightly, not even realizing that he was practically ogling the other at the moment.
The blond, unaware of the other's presence, began stretching for a good minute, before slipping on the black tank top and turning around and freezing. "Uh. . . Hey, English. . ." Dirk felt very uncomfortable. Not because Jake was staring at him, but the fact that his shades were off and he couldn't get them without being awkward.
Hearing the other speak broke the Englishman out of his trance and he blinked, rubbing the back of his neck with a feeble smile. "Hey there, Strider." Quickly, he managed to think of something else to say. "If you don't have a toothbrush, you can always use mine! You can use my brush too, if you want," he said with a shrug and a smile. He spoke without skipping a beat, all awkwardness just kind of disappearing as soon as he started talking again.
"My robots sent me my toothbrush, but I will take you up on the offer for a brush." Dirk said, as he slipped back on his shades. He started walking towards the bathroom with his toothbrush, making sure to brush against Jake's ass as he walked by. He quickly brushed his teeth, before brushing his hair and walking back into Jake's room.
Jake had just taken a few steps when Dirk walked by, a very small, totally manly squeak managing to slip past his lips as the blond brushed against his ass. He managed to keep a blush from forming on his cheeks, although just barely. The short amount of time that the other took to brush his teeth and hair was enough for the adventurer to gather a few of his guns and begin loading and cleaning them them just in case they went on an adventure. No adventurer would be caught dead with a dirty gun without ammo in it! So, needless to say, he didn't exactly notice the blond walk back in.
Dirk leaned against the doorframe, with his arms crossed, a smirk on his face, waiting for the adventurer to notice him standing there. He figured he should tell his robots to send him his sword as well, turning on his AR's manual function so he wouldn't disturb the other. Soon enough, his sword appeared in front of him and was silently strapped on his back, ready for use at any time.
It took about five more minutes (and about two guns later) before Jake packed up his pistols and his rifle and turn around, jumping at the sight of Dirk just standing there. "Gadzooks, Strider! How long have you been standing there?" he asked, running a hand through his hair as he walked over to the other with a soft chuckle.
"Long enough for me to have retrieved my sword and stare at your fiiine ass for a good few minutes." Dirk said, purposely letting his accent slip for greater effect. He loved teasing Jake and found it adorable when he got flustered.
Jake felt heat rush to his cheeks, the accent added to Dirk's words making it no better. He opened his mouth to come up with a retort before he found that words failed him at the moment and, instead, he put his sneakers on quickly. "Well, as long as you have your sword, do you want the grand tour of the place?" he asked with a smile, only a very faint hint of a blush still on his cheeks now.
"Sounds good to me, just lead the way, English." He slipped on his shoes and gloves, returning Jake's smile with a small one of his own. He unsheathed his sword, and prepared to follow the other.
Jake began their tour first by showing him around the house, giving a quick description of each room that they walked through and past, not to mention making sure he knew where the kitchen was in case he got hungry and wanted something to eat. After a good twenty minutes showing Dirk around the house, he lead the way outside, pulling out one of his pistols from its holster just to be safe. "And now begins the real adventure," he said softly, scanning the area before starting to walk into the jungle that surrounded his house, following a path that he made himself for now. The path was still there because it was one he walked over and over, one he used to walk down with his grandmother before she became too old and frail to explore. It was also the safest route to take for Strider's first time in the jungle rather than picking a direction and sticking with it like he usually did by himself.
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Dirk: Well . . . Apparently I'm going into the jungle?
Jake: On an adventure with me!
Ayazi: Shit happens.
Dirk: Wait. . . What? What happens?
Ayazi: REVIEW AND FIND OUT! IT IS VERY IMPORTANT TO REVIEW!