In Darkness, Light
Chapter 2
It's late in the afternoon when Kensi finally catches up with her partner. She finds him at the beach, in his favorite spot no less, but he's not surfing. He's sitting in the sand watching the continuous succession of waves as they roll up against the shoreline. He's seems lost in thought as the waning light from the setting sun plays across his scruffy face.
She remembers the look she saw in his eyes as he was leaving the mission. They lacked their usual jovial glow, and instead told the story of a deeply tortured man desperate for escape. She went to Hetty shortly after he'd left hoping to find out what the operations manager had said to him, but the tiny woman would not be swayed. Hetty insisted she be patient, and wait for Deeks to come to her.
All day long she's tried to shake the image from her head, but it continues to haunt her.
Now, she stands just several feet away from her shaggy-haired lover, and he's yet to notice, or acknowledge, her presence. She takes in a deep breath and lets it out again, and takes a few more steps towards him. With each step she takes she steels her nerves just a little bit more. She's never been good at this sort of thing, but for him she'll try.
"Should've known you'd come here." She says in a quiet voice. "That's a beautiful sunset, isn't it?" she adds, turning her head slightly to look at the giant fireball setting low against the horizon.
"I guess." He mutters.
Stupid. Kensi scolds herself internally. What are you thinking…he's obviously NOT here for the sunset. "I mean, err, You know, this actually isn't the first place I looked for you." She says as she steps up beside him.
"Where else did you look?" he asks, rather plainly.
"Well, I checked both our houses—of course. Then I called down at the precinct after that. The guy at the desk said he saw you earlier, but you were already gone by the time I called." She replies.
"Yeah, sounds about right."
Kensi can tell that she really isn't getting anywhere with her present line of questioning. She takes in another deep breath and lets it out again, and then she lowers herself to the sand beside the shaggy-haired surfer dude.
"Look, Deeks, we both know I'm not good at this sort of thing—horrible actually. Empathy has always been something I've lacked, but I'm really trying here." Her voice is soft now, as she speaks, and she's really trying hard to hide the slight quake that's slowly building in it.
He shifts uneasily in the sand beside her.
"Even a blind person could tell that you're in pain though, and I know it has something to do with whatever you and Hetty talked about this morning, in her office." Kensi continues. There is a long moment of silence between them as Kensi lays her hand next to his on the sand. "Please," she says in a mildly pleading tone. "I just want to help…but I can't do that, if you shut me out, okay. I care about you."
"I can't." he replies in a hoarse whisper. Deeks pulls himself to his feet, pulling his hand away from hers, and walks towards the surf. He doesn't stop until his bare feet finally feel the cool, salty waters of the Pacific Ocean running over them.
"Deeks…."
"This isn't your burden." He croaks. I know that's not what you want to hear, but-"
Kensi stands to her own two feet, and approaches her partner. "You're right, it's not." She tells him. "I thought we were partners?"
"We are." He replies.
"Then why are you doing this?" she presses him. Her voice is audibly beginning to shake from both the anger and the hurt that she's feeling.
"You wouldn't understand."
Kensi steps around, and places herself right in front of the brooding, shaggy-haired man. She's as determined as ever to find out what it is that's bothering her partner. "Then make me understand." She says, with a sudden fierceness in her mismatched eyes. "I want to understand, okay. So let me, please."
Her features soften afterwards, and she takes a step towards Deeks. She is standing toe-to-toe with him at this point, and her eyes are locked with his in an intense moment of silence. Without warning he wraps his arms around her mid-section, and pulls her close. There, their lips meet in an unhindered display of beautiful passion.
"Please…" she presses him once more.
"Kensi Blye," he starts, no longer trying to hide the tears he's been fighting back for so long. "I love you so much, and I can't imagine life without you. I don't want to…ever."
"Deeks…" she tries, but he doesn't let her finish.
"I need you to understand this, Fern. Even if what he have never…if this is all we ever have—It doesn't matter. You are the most important thing in my world, and you always will be." He continues, tears now streaking freely down his scruffy cheeks.
Kensi's own eyes are now teaming with fresh tears, and she wishes that he would just stop. The reasons are not because she doesn't feel the exact same way, because she does, but because he sounds like someone who's just been given the death sentence.
"Please," he begs quietly. "Tell me you understand."
"I-I do." She stammers as she tries to reign in her out-of-control emotions. "Just please let me in." she begs once again.
A Few Hours Later…
Deeks sits at the end of Kensi's bed wearing only a clean pair of boxers. He is silent, and deep in thought as he waits for his girl to get out of the shower. In his head, he continuously walks over everything he knows about their current case at NCIS, and the LAPD cold case involving Maria's mother. Even more than that, though, he's thinking about what he's asked his current partner to do, and how dangerous it could potentially be for her.
The shower finally shuts off, and then a minute or so later Kensi enters into the bedroom from the attached Master Bathroom. She has one fluffy, pink towel wrapped around her body, and then a smaller one wrapped around her hair.
"You don't think anyone saw us out there…do you?" she asks, with slight worry in her voice, as she walks past Deeks on her way to her dresser.
"I don't know," Deeks replies, looking over his shoulder at the brunette as she pulls on a pair of frilly panties. "Guess we'll just have to check YouTube in the morning." He adds, more in the style of his usual cheeky self.
"Funny." Kensi says rolling her eyes.
Deeks shrugs.
Kensi slides on a t-shirt, and a pair of pajama bottoms finally. Then she runs the towel through her hair thoroughly as she walks back towards the bathroom. After depositing both towels in the bathroom hamper, she walks back out towards the end of the bed where Deeks is sitting. She sets herself down sideways across his lap, and he wraps his arms around her pulling her close.
"You okay?" she asks, looking up into his Pacific Ocean blue eyes.
Deeks nods in response. "Just thinking."
"About Maria?" Kensi whispers as she presses a gentle kiss to her lover's lips.
"Yeah." Deeks replies quietly between kisses.
"I promise you, we'll get him." Kensi says reassuringly.
Deeks shakes his head lightly. "I should tell you to just walk away, its too dangerous…but I can't" Deeks says just before pressing a passionate kiss against his girls' luscious lips. "I need someone I can trust."
"I wouldn't walk away, even if you did tell me too." She replies. "This is how I can help you…we can bring Espinoza down together, and get justice for Maria."
"Thank you." He whispers softly against her lips.
Kensi decides to change the subject then, and that is exactly what she does. "I still can't believe we did it on the beach. I feel so dirty."
Deeks chuckles, and to Kensi it's the most wonderful sound she's heard from him all day long. "My two favorite things," he says with a half-grin. "The waves and a beautiful woman."
That makes Kensi smile. "I bet you say that to all the girls." She teases.
"Just the pretty ones." He replies.
Kensi laughs. "Tell you what, lets get something to eat, okay? Because right now, I'm starving." She says as she stands up. Then she reaches out and grabs his hands, and proceeds to pull him to his feet as well. "Come on."
"Fine. Let me get dressed." He tells her with a sigh. He reaches behind him, and picks up the pair of pajama bottoms that he always keeps at her place for just such an occasion. It takes him less than a minute to pull on the night pants, and then tie the drawstring. "Okay, I'm good." He says seconds later.
Kensi stifles a laugh. "No shirt?"
"Why? We're not going out to eat are we?" Deeks asks, with a half-grin.
Kensi loves, and is grateful, that he's playing along with her lame attempt at cheering him up. Again, she's not good at this kind of stuff, but she's trying. "Nope. We're staying in of course."
"Good, no shirt it is." He remarks with a nod.
"What are you hungry for?" she asks.
"You cooking?" Deeks asks, arching a brow at the brunette.
"Of course."
"In that case, I'll have cereal." He replies.
"Cereal? Really, why?" Kensi asks, scrunching her face up at the idea.
"Cereal won't fill the house with smoke." He remarks. "Let me rephrase that, 'shouldn't' fill the house with smoke."
"Alright smart ass, then you cook." Kensi says over her shoulder as she turns and exits the bedroom.
"Why do I get the feeling that was your plan all along? Princess?" Deeks follows after the gorgeous brunette.
Later…..
It's 2:00 in the morning, and even though they laid down hours ago sleep has been hard coming for the shaggy-haired Detective. Images of Maria and her mother loomed in his every thought, and for a while it seemed as though restlessness might consume him completely. Now after several hours of battling with himself, his own light snoring finally fills the room.
Kensi is grateful for this. She has been awake with him the entire time, and it's been torture for her. She's not used to seeing Deeks like this, in pain, and it kills her. To Kensi, Deeks is too good a person, and he deserves better. For now though, he seems to be at peace and she's glad.
She snuggles up closer against him wrapping her arm around his mid-section. Then she nestles her head into his chest, and closes her eyes to the world. As sleep begins to settle over her at last she makes a silent vow to herself.
Whatever it takes.
2 Days Later…..
It's late in the evening in L.A. as Deeks and Kensi pull up in front of a popular, and somewhat exclusive club. Their snazzy blue sports car stands out exceptionally well, and perfectly plays up the image of wealth that their cover demands. It takes no more than a few seconds for a nearby parking attendant to notice the new arrivals.
Eric's voice suddenly buzzes in their ears via earwig. "Can you guys hear me okay?" he asks over the crackle of the radio.
"Loud and clear good buddy." Deeks responds cheerfully.
"Good." Eric says, clearly satisfied with the Detective's answer.
"What about after we're inside?" Deeks asks curiously. "I mean, this isn't exactly a church." He points out.
"We've got that covered." Eric replies. "Nell and I should be able to filter out any unwanted background noise allowing us to hear every word you guys say."
"Good to know." Deeks says with a nod, even though he knows Eric can't see him.
"Now, if you two don't mind," The all-too familiar voice of the operations manager sounds clearly over the radio. "Let's get this show underway, shall we?"
"Yes ma'am." The partners reply in unison.
Deeks doesn't move at first though. He just sits in place staring out through the windshield of the car in silence. Kensi reaches over, and loops her hand around one of his. She gives it a light squeeze, and he turns to look at her. The look he gives her is one that she knows very well.
"It's gonna be okay." She whispers softly.
"Promise me you'll be careful." He says quietly.
"Hey, don't worry. I can take care of myself, remember?"
"Kens." Deeks says, giving her a stern look.
"I will, okay." She says at last, with a sigh. "I promise."
"Don't try to be Wonder Woman this time. If things get hairy, just say the word. I'll be right there." He says, in a tone that is almost pleading with her.
Kensi opens her mouth to reply, but just before she can utter a single word Eric cuts in on their conversation.
"That reminds me," the tech analyst cuts in suddenly. "Kensi, your 'Duress' word is Peaches."
"Hey Eric, its not nice to listen in on private conversations." Kensi says pointedly.
"Oh…sorry." Eric replies.
Kensi turns her attention back to Deeks then, and her features soften for just the tiniest moment. "I know you will." She says, finally responding to Deeks' earlier statement. She gives her lover a soft smile, and then squeezes his hand gently once more.
Deeks nods knowingly, and then moves to unbuckle his seatbelt. A low chuckle suddenly escapes his throat as he lets the seat belt slide backwards across his lap as it returns to its original resting place. "Peaches." He chuckles to himself, thinking about the Duress word again.
Kensi rolls her eyes, though she is in no way surprised by Deeks' reaction. "You're not gonna let that one go, are you?"
"What?" Deeks replies, acting as if he hasn't a clue what she means.
Kensi shakes her head at him. "I know exactly what your warped mind is thinking right now." She tells him.
"Warped? Kensi, I'm offended." Deeks replies playfully.
"Sure you are."
"You two need to really sell the cover on this one." Hetty says over their earwig radios.
"Hey, we got this." Deeks replies with a smirk.
"I certainly hope so."
Deeks finally steps out of the driver side of the car, and does a quick survey of the surrounding area as he runs a hand through his shaggy hair. He adjusts himself accordingly, and seamlessly falls into the role of his cover identity. He also notes to himself promptly that the absence of his trademark facial scruff suddenly makes him feel a bit naked. Nevertheless, the show must go on, and as he closes his car door Kensi finally opens hers.
The beautiful brunette exits the car next looking even more stunning, if that's even possible, than she usually does. Her dark hair hangs around the edges of her face in light, bouncy curls, and seems to add a layer of mystery to the female federal agent. She instantly becomes her cover identity with nearly as much ease as Deeks had assumed his.
"What do you think, Sis?" Deeks asks, looking the place over.
Kensi gives a girlish giggle, and a nod towards her partner as she closes her car door behind her. "I love it." she replies dreamily. "L.A. has everything. Why can't we live here instead of New York?" She asks.
"Hey, the Big Apple has its charms too ya know." Deeks replies playfully, with a wink.
"If you say so."
The parking attendant reaches the duo, and offers to park their car in the rear lot for them. Deeks smiles and hands over the keys to the blue sports car. "Careful, she's sensitive." He says with a wink to the attendant.
Kensi steps around the front of the car then, and joins her partner as the attendant climbs into the drivers seat behind them. "Will you dance with me this time?" Kensi asks, hopefully. "Just once."
Deeks gives a light shake of his head in her direction. "Kitten, you know I don't mix business with pleasure." He says with a wink.
Kensi sticks her tongue out playfully, and feigns disgust at the remark. "Eww, gross." She says, but then a light giggle escapes her throat.
"Its just for tonight," he tells her as they head for the clubs' front door. "Then I'm all yours for the rest of the weekend. We'll do whatever you want, promise."
"But that's what you always say." Kensi replies, feigning a slightly exaggerated pout.
"This time I mean it." He says very simply.
"You'd better." She replies. "Or I'll make you very sorry." She says as she wags a finger in his face.
Deeks chuckles at the brunette. They stop short of the entrance, and Deeks does the gentlemanly thing. He holds the door open for his partner, and lets her enter the club ahead of him.
"Show time." He whispers to himself as he enters the building, letting the door close behind him.
…TBC…
Author's Note: I really hope that you guys enjoyed this chapter as much as I did, and I apologize for the rather lengthy wait I put you all through. Things got a little hectic with work and night classes, but its all going pretty smoothly now. Hopefully, this means I'll be able to start updating on a more regular basis.
P.S. Thanks as well for all your feedback/comments from the first chapter—I dig the love.
P.S.S. Also, if any of you guys are reading my other story, Partners, I hope to have the next update for that one ready real soon. Thanks Again :)