Note on the Desk
I should have seen the signs, I should have saved him. What a sorry excuse for a future psychologist I am. My brother, my baby brother was in so much pain, and I was to wrapped up in my own life to realize it. I'm sad, I'm angry, I'm so many emotions I couldn't categorize them any more. I had thought he was strong enough, I never for a second thought he would...do this.
I miss him so much, I wake up every morning with a huge gaping hole in my heart, a hole he used to fill.
I'm angry. He left us. My parents are devastated, putting all the blame on themselves. But then, aren't I doing the same? The difference? I deserve it. I knew, I should have watched out for him.
I should have saved him.
I'm angry that he left me to tell my parents, to break their hearts. I'm angry that he thought we weren't here for him. I'm angry that he could just leave his friends and family behind with out a second thought.
Most of all, I'm angry at myself.
The only thing keeping me sane is thought that maybe, someday, I'll see him again. He was half ghost, after all. He's out there somewhere. He's got to be.
But what if he isn't?
No.
He's Gone.
A sob broke through my chest. Through tear-filled eyes, I looked down at the crumpled tear stained piece of paper I had clutched in my hands.
llllllllllllllllllllllllllll l
Dear family,
This is all my fault. I never dreamed it would come to this. I just can't do this anymore. Responsibility fell to me, but instead of shouldering it, it drug me down. Down so far I don't even know who I am anymore.
Jazz, please, I can't do this through a note. Do me one last favor, and tell them. Let them know what a disappointment their son really was. What a monstrosity.
I'm sorry, so so sorry. But I couldn't live with myself anymore, I just- I'm sorry. Please, will you forgive me?
llllllllllllllllllllllllllll llll
This is all my fault.
No, It's my fault.
Let them know what a disappointment their son really was. What a monstrosity.
You were a hero.
I'm sorry, so so sorry.
Me too.
Please, will you forgive me?
A sob broke through my lips, tears dripped down my cheeks. My hands trembled as I looked through tear filled eyes at the note. My brothers final words.
will you forgive me?
Yes.
llllllllllllllllllllllllllll lllllllllllllllllllllll
Some good ol' fasioned angst. Yay! I never intended for there to be a second chapter. Oops, my hand slipped. My writing (in my opinion) Has improved since the first chapter, which I wrote a while ago. Tell me what you think. ^.^
Reviews are awesome, they make my day. :D *hint, hint*