Dear Diary,

Today was a strange day for me. When I woke up, Luigi wasn't even here. Which is weird, because he doesn't have a job. Well, neither do I, but that doesn't matter. Anyway, I spent like an hour looking for him, but I couldn't find him. That made me mad, so I wrote him a note of anger. I want to get a job at our local Food Barn, which is a grocery store. I could be a cashier or clerk or whatever that person is called and ring people up! That would make me so happy because I love the sound a cash register makes whenever it opens. I think I'll go apply for a job there later today.

Anyway, the first month of the year is almost over! It's so exciting. My birthday comes up soon. Well, not my official birthday. Not the one that Nintendo says I have. My private birthday. The date that I was actually born on. It's March 2nd. Only a little more than a month left! Then I'll be 32! Hmm…that makes me sound old.

Anyway, I was reading this book yesterday on how to do a back flip, and it gave step by step instructions. I followed them…well, I tried to, anyway. Apparently a back flip goes a lot faster in real life than in the book. Because before I even got the chance to do the first step, I fell on the ground and broke my leg. Now Luigi has to push me in a wheelchair. I feel bad for him, but my arms aren't strong enough for me to push myself. Otherwise I would.

So yesterday was also an interesting day. I accidentally told Bowser that I loved Peach. I felt so bad, and I'm sure Peach knows now and hates me for it. So here's the real story, just in case Bowser tells you something different.

Well, I was walking down the street and I saw Bowser up ahead at the stop sign, in his truck. I decided to hitch a ride and jumped in the back. I didn't know where he was going, and after a while, I got bored. So I started talking to myself. Which wasn't a good idea. I was reminiscing about how I met Peach for the first time, and Bowser heard every word. I stomped on his head after he said that and made him crash his truck. I laughed. I escaped with only a bruise on my arm and a cut on my face.

So that's the whole story. Anyway, now that I've said that, I need to go out and buy a new diary. I still haven't bought one since Wario broke the lock on this one. Speaking of which, Wario escaped from jail and now he's on the run. Maybe I should go bash his head in.

Well, I'm going to ask Luigi to wheel me to the store. Bye!

-Mario-

Ha...I laughed while re-reading this! Man, if things keep going like this...Mario will need several new diaries to keep writing. By the time I catch up to the current date, he'll probably have 45 entries...wow. That's a lot of chapters.