Dear Diary,
I'm getting tired of just referring to you as 'Diary', so I'm going to give you a new name. It has to be flowy and graceful, with a hint of maliciousness and power. Also, it must be beautiful and majestic, like a lion. I've got it! I'll call you "Lioness"! It's such the prettiest name…flowy and graceful, malicious, powerful, beautiful, and majestic all packed into one! It's genius! Pure genius. So from this point forward, until the end of time, until the enemy militia decides to blow us up, until the sun explodes, until my refrigerator breaks…I will call you Lioness. It's such a…majestic, beautiful, graceful, powerful, malicious, flowy, powerful name, don't you think? I think so. Luigi just came into my room and said that "lioness" is the worst thing you could name a diary, because it's not even alive. Besides, what does he know? He doesn't even like potatoes.
So yesterday I was at the supermarket shopping for groceries, when I saw Bowser come into the store. I quickly ran and hid in a large basket of carrots, for he was coming straight for me. He didn't see me though, I don't think, because he went and picked up that basket of carrots I was buried in! I must have camouflaged myself pretty well. The bad thing was he paid for it and took it out to his truck, where he locked me in. Fortunately, I am good at picking locks, so I jumped out of the basket, unlocked the door, and ran. Bowser was in for a surprise when he came back and carrots were all over the floor. I didn't even know he liked carrots! He's not a farmer! At least I don't think he is. I know Peach has some hidden vegetable farms behind her castle, so who knows what Bowser has behind his! (Actually I know he has a nuclear power plant and some weapons facilities along with a giant grocery store) Wait…if he has a giant grocery store then why was he at the supermarket? That makes me wonder if he knew I was there all along.
Anyway, Luigi just said that he wanted Mexican food for dinner, which surprises me because the last time we had that he threw up. But, I did make it…maybe he wants to order it this time. Which I'm glad of because I don't know how to make tacos. That's probably why Luigi threw up. I can only make nachos.
I had my picture taken professionally for the first time three days ago, on Thursday. It was done nicely, considering all of the other times I've had my picture taken made me look like a giant toad with a wart on my face. But it was good. I have it hung and framed in my living room, alongside the many other horrible pictures of Luigi. I want to make him feel bad.
So I think this is my longest Lioness entry yet, eh? Maybe I should end it...? But I DON'T WANNA! Anyway, someone just knocked on the door. Be right back.
AAAAHHH! BYE! GOTTA END THIS QUICK! I GOTTA CALL THE POLICE *beep boop beep* Yes, Hello, there are three robbers going through my house right now…
-GONNA DIE MARIO
*sigh* Well, this is great. Just great. Mario's being robbed.
Anyway, this is the first thing I've updated in about two or three weeks. I've just been so busy...I'm sorry for any inconvenience. I'm also updating Luffy, NO! this weekend. If you haven't already read it, you should check it out. And review. Please. There's ONLY 23 chapters...I'm planning on having 25. And yes, the chapters are short. And no, they aren't boring. They're rather funny, if I do say so myself.