A/N - Thanks for reviews.

Chapter 16

It was nearly 5am when Arizona was finally able to quietly close the door to Timmy's room. Creeping down the hallway feeling like a sleep deprived zombie, she stopped and winced as all of a sudden she heard the familiar wail of her new-born baby son starting to cry again, wanting nothing but her attention. She sighed, running her hand through her hair as she reluctantly walked back in, picking him up from his crib as she rocked him back and forth, the chord to her dressing gown coming un-done as she muttered "What could you possibly want now? I've fed you, changed you, and cuddled you for the past four hours. So, please, Timmy, please, just go to sleep now, just for a couple of hours, for Mommy."

Sensing the door open, she looked over to see Callie walk in to join her, her jet black hair sticking out in all directions as she rubbed her eyes sleepily and held out her arms, gesturing for Arizona to pass her their baby.

"It's ok, you've got work tomorrow. I can cope." Arizona said as she continued to clutch her tiny son to her chest.

"Arizona, you've been up all night, you're shattered. Let me take him for a bit, you're not going to be much use to anyone if you don't get some rest." Callie said sleepily as she prized her son out of her wife's arms. "I've got the day off tomorrow anyway, so I can have him to give you a bit of a break to catch up on your sleep if you like." Callie went on to say as she gently stroked the back of Timmy's head.

"Thanks. But why don't we take him in to the hospital to show him off together, tomorrow?" Arizona said as she leaned against the door frame wearily.

"You want me to go in to work on my day off?" Callie said with a puzzled look.

"Yep, I didn't think you'd mind, Sofia will be at school and I know Bailey and Meredith are both still dying to meet Timmy. And, I wouldn't mind checking in on Alex too." She added, looking across to catch her wife's eye as Callie looked away and down at their baby. Alex was still in a bad way and hadn't left the hospital or Izzie's side all week,

Callie remained silent as she sensed her tiny son's soft warm body relaxing against her as he gradually drifted off to sleep in her arms and very gently she leaned down to put him in his crib, tucking his fluffy white rabbit blanket around him and kissing him on the forehead.

"Sometimes, it just takes a change of person." She whispered kindly to her wife, who looked in astonishment and slight frustration at how quickly Callie had managed to get Timmy off to sleep.

Sneaking out of the room followed by her wife, both taking great pains not to wake their baby, Callie carefully closed the door as she said in a low voice. "Okay, we'll take him in to the hospital tomorrow." Although if she was completely honest the hospital was the last place Callie wanted to go. As much as she was worried about Alex too, she just wasn't ready to face up to what had happened to Izzie. Plus, Callie really wished Arizona would focus more on adjusting to her new role being at home with Timmy and their new life now that they had two children to look after.

Everything seemed blurred, as with his eyes bleary and glazed over with tears, Alex sat hunched up on the the bench outside the hospital. Trying to get his head around just how his life could have gone full circle so quickly. It seemed like only yesterday that he had been sat at this exact same spot as a resident, after he'd found out the devastating news about Izzie's brain tumour. At the time he'd thought it couldn't be possible to feel any pain worse. He was wrong. Here and now, what he was going through and the thought of losing Izzie this time around, was much, much worse. It wasn't that he had loved her any less back then and the thought of a future without her had been any less terrifying. But back then they were just starting to figure out how to be together, all the possibilities of what a life together could offer them just opening up. Whereas now Alex had barely spent a night apart from Izzie in years. They shared their whole life together, a home, bed, children, their own private jokes and thoughts, he knew he could tell her anything and he'd learned to trust her completely. Izzie was his world and the thought of a future without her, to never be able to hold her again, to talk to her, and to have to bring up their three children without her, was unthinkable. He needed her now more than ever.

Looking up Alex saw a blond woman walking towards him in the distance and he sighed. He knew Arizona only meant well, that she wanted to be there for him any way she could. But all Alex really wanted right now, was to be left alone to deal with things in his own way.

She smiled tentatively as she perched down next to him on the bench. She looked mentally and physically exhausted, but despite the concern in them, her eyes looked happy. The look of a new Mom. Exactly how Izzie should be looking now, Alex thought and he felt a sharp jolt of pain behind his eyes as he looked away and down at his hands. He couldn't be mad at Arizona for being happy, none of this was her fault.

"I heard Bella's doing really well." She said kindly, as she looked at him.

"Yeah, she's certainly a fighter, just like Izzie." Alex replied quietly.

"Alex, have you been home yet? Because it might help to see your children.…" Arizona said cautiously as her blue eyes continued to focus on him and she paused, working up the courage to carry on as she gauged his reaction. He didn't respond.

It suddenly started to rain and it was at that exact moment Alex realized how much he hated Seattle. The rain, the hospital, even most of the people. Izzie was right the place was cursed for them. He should have listened to her and they never should have come back here, he shouldn't have taken the head of department position. Because at that exact moment in time, Alex would give anything to have his old life back in Baltimore. Performing ground breaking surgeries all day without the stress and pressure of head of department. A life where he'd been able to go home in time to read his kids a bedtime story and kiss them goodnight, before settling in for the evening with his wife. Telling her all about his day over a bottle of wine and whatever meal she'd cooked for him inspired by the latest exotic cuisine she'd been teaching herself. Then bickering about his untidiness and lack of help around the home and flat out refusal to socialize with the other parents of kids she'd become friendly with at the day care. Then they'd end up laughing about it before going to bed and making love and he'd fall asleep with his arms tightly circled around her, feeling completely content and fulfilled in every area of his life. But he should have known that was all too good to be true. Good things never lasted for him.

Ignoring Arizona's question, he simply said more to himself than her. "It was a mistake to come back here. If we were still in Baltimore, Iz would be okay."

"You're a doctor, you know that's not true." Arizona said, shivering a little as fine rain droplets caught in her hair and taking a deep breath she said. "Alex, Addison said that…." He stopped her then by abruptly holding his hand up and saying gruffly. "You think I give a damn what she says…" He knew it was wrong, but he needed to blame someone for what was happening and in his eyes Addison should have cleared it with him first before she made the call to prioritize his un-born child's life over Izzie's. It wasn't that he didn't feel an overwhelming rush of love for his daughter, but he knew if he lost Izzie, he'd probably never recover.

"Alex, you can't keep blaming Addison. She was only doing what she thought was right. If you want anyone to blame, blame me. I was the reason Addison wouldn't tell you what was going on. If I'd spotted I was in labour earlier, we wouldn't have been stuck in the elevator and you could have been with Izzie." Arizona said, her voice full of emotion.

"Stop it, I could never blame you." Alex said his voice shaking slightly as the rain dripped off his face.

They were silent for a moment before he cleared his throat and said. "How's erm?…"

"Timmy... Timmy Nicholas." Arizona finished for him, as she thought how if she'd had her way her son would have been, Timmy Alexander. But Callie had thought given the circumstances it would be a little weird and Arizona had felt it was her turn to be the one to compromise. "He's fine. Callie's showing him off inside at the moment….When you're ready, it would be great for you to meet him too…... Seeing as you brought him in to the world.." She added cautiously.

He winced, he knew that last statement had a couple of different meanings, causing him to remember the hurt he'd caused Izzie by fathering Arizona's baby, then forcing her to move back to Seattle. She'd never really said anything about Arizona's baby, but he'd known it had been hard on Izzie. He then looked across at the face of his old mentor and he knew it had all been worth it, to see Arizona so happy. Just because his world was falling apart, it didn't mean she didn't deserve to be on top of hers.

"Sure, that would be great" Alex eventually managed to say, looking straight at her for the first time.

"Listen, why don't I go back to your place quickly with you now? You could see your kids and get some rest and we could both try and explain about Izzie to them. Callie will be okay with Timmy here for a little while longer." Arizona said kindly, rubbing his knee.

Alex knew he needed to see his kids, they needed him and it wasn't fair on Izzie's Mom to leave her to deal with them alone. But he also knew he just couldn't face it right now. So he turned back to Arizona and said. "Thanks, but you don't have to do that. I know I need to go home to the boys, but first I just want to take a little drive on my own. So, go back to showing of that little man of yours and enjoy it." He said, forcing a small smile.

Arizona found Callie on the surgical floor proudly holding Timmy, surrounded by a group of their female co-workers all cooing excitedly over their new son.

"He's beautiful and he definitely has your eyes." Bailey said to Arizona, as Callie handed him over to the former Nazi for a cuddle.

"Thanks," Arizona said and she wasn't sure why but suddenly it all became too much and she just wanted to cry. She knew she was tired, emotional and hormonal and she should feel nothing but joy and mostly she did. But something about the irony of her son's birth just kept eating away at her, as she thought about Alex.

Callie looked across at her wife and recognised instantly something wasn't quite right as she whispered. "You okay?" Squeezing her hand.

Arizona just nodded as Timmy started to cry and taking him back from Bailey she said in as perky and upbeat a voice as she could muster. "I think that's my que, somebody is hungry, better go and feed him quick."

...

Sitting in a quiet corner of the hospital on their own, Callie was relived it was now just the two of them and Arizona could drop her pretence. "Maybe it was a mistake to come back to the hospital so soon." Callie said softly, her dark eyes fixed on her wife as their son's hungry cries got louder and more urgent.

Arizona didn't say anything as she produced a bottle from her change bag, shaking it and testing it on the back of her hand before she said coldly. "Why? So we could carry on as if nothing had happened, caught up in our own little bubble, pretending that one of our best friends isn't about to lose his wife." Stopping to run her hand through her hair in frustration as she scooped Timmy out of his car seat and in to her arms, instantly quieting him with the bottle and they were all silent as he gulped it down. And Arizona immediately regretted being so short with her wife, as she said. "Sorry, you didn't deserve that….It's just so hard, seeing Alex so broken. I mean, I can't imagine what he is going through, I don't know what I'd do if anything happened to you…." And she stopped, feeling her eyes fill with tears.

Callie was a little taken aback, she had never seen her wife so emotional and vulnerable before and she wasn't quite sure how to handle it as she said. "It's okay, I can see you're upset. I think maybe I should give you a moment. There's a patient in the ICU that I wanted to check in on before we leave. You stay here with Timmy and I'll be back shortly." Standing up and kissing her wife on the cheek, as Arizona just nodded.

As Callie made her way back across the ICU, she stopped outside Izzie's room, glancing through the window and debating whether to go in or not.

Stepping inside she felt full of emotion, it was so weird seeing Izzie lying there on the bed perfectly still, wired up to machines breathing for her and saving her life. She sat down on the chair by her bed, as she thought how despite being so sick, Izzie could still manage to look so pretty. Her and Alex's daughter was going to be one gorgeous little girl having those two as parents. Callie then thought of her son Timmy and she wondered just what he was going to grow up to look like, being a mixture of Alex and Arizona.

Izzie stirred for a second before lying deadly still again. Callie just looked on at her, she had been so jealous of the blond former model on and off over the years. When she had first known her, Izzie had always seemed so confident and self-assured and she was so beautiful, everyone seemed to love her. Then she had slept with George and Callie had gone from being envious of her to hating her. Then in more recent days after they had become friends again, Callie had been jealous of her perfect life with Alex. As much as she was grateful for what she had with Arizona, they had certainly had their fair share of problems over the years and had to really work at their marriage. Izzie and Alex never seemed to fight or have any problems, they had a gorgeous home, two kids, Alex was doing really well at Hopkins and they were so in love still. But here now watching the life slip out of her, Callie felt guilty that she had been so jealous of Izzie, as she found herself reaching for her lifeless hand.

...

The door to the quiet, dimly lit room slowly opened and Callie looked up from where she was sat to see her wife walking in to join her.

"Thought I'd find you in here." Arizona said as she sat down next to Callie beside Izzie's bed. Arizona had seen how Callie had grown closer to Alex's wife since they had moved back to Seattle, for him to be head of Ped's. And she knew Callie was pretty shaken up by what had happened to Izzie, having been by her side for most of it. Which Arizona felt sure was partly the reason Callie had been reluctant to come back to the hospital today on her day off, forcing her to face up to what had happened.

"Timmy's fine, I left him with Addison," Arizona went on to say, pausing as a lump formed in her throat and she whispered…."She said Alex is going to have to make a decision soon…."

"No." Callie said as tears formed in her eyes and she looked on at her friend lying motionless on the bed, her silky blond hair splayed across the pillow.

"Wake up, wake up, wake up…." Arizona then said looking at Izzie, as the room filled with sadness and she continued to will Izzie to open her eyes. To come back, for Alex.

"She shouldn't be here, this is all wrong. I should have told Alex straight away. I shouldn't have listened to Addison, I knew it was wrong….They could have saved her.." Callie said passionately, still choking back the tears.

"How, is any of this your fault? If anyone is to blame it's me. Alex was stuck in the elevator because of me and my stupidity…." Arizona said raising her voice a little.

"It wasn't your fault Arizona,...but, if you'd just come to the baby shower on time. I could have told you, you were in active labour, although how you didn't know still amazes me. I mean you're a doctor, Arizona…" Callie said, raising her voice as well.

"Oh, I see, bringing up the stupid baby shower again are we? Like that's going to help now." Arizona said angrily turning to face her wife.

Callie opened her mouth to respond, her eyes flashing defensively back, when she was silenced by a quiet voice saying. "Ssshhhh…keep it down, I have a headache and it wasn't a stupid baby shower, it was an awesome baby shower. I organized it…."

"Izzie!" Both Callie and Arizona said at the same time in utter amazement, forgetting all about their petty argument as they both broke in to wide excited smiles, looking over to where Izzie's big brown eyes were now open and staring at them from where she lay on the bed.

"Izzie, you're awake! I'll page Addison." Callie quickly said turning to Arizona to see she had jumped up and was rushing towards the door.

"Never mind that, I need to find Alex." Arizona said ecstatically…

A/N – So, I just couldn't go through with killing Izzie in the end! It's bad enough Alex lost her on the show. I couldn't do that to him here as well :)