This material is for fun only. I do not own the characters.

I want to issue a special thanks to Ditzybea. She is one of the best writers I have ever met, and a great BETA Reader. Thank you for encouraging me to write this and for being there when I needed editing. If you have not read her work you must really look her up, she has me hooked.

Thank you again for all your help. I can only hope one day to be able to return the favor.

The Search – Chapter 5

AWAKE

Luke was lying in his bed waking up after having hours of make-up sex with his beautiful boyfriend Noah. He opened his eyes and saw the most wonderful sight in the world, Noah's blue eyes staring down at him with so much love that Luke thought his heart stopped just from the sheer joy he was feeling. "Hey," Noah said to Luke with a bright smile on his face and a twinkle in his eyes. Luke couldn't help but smile at the reference to the many times one or the other had awoken in the hospital only to use that catch phrase to great the other. It was their own version of "I love you," without needing to say the words. Luke reached up and caressed Noah's cheek as he brought his lips up to meet Noah's mouth and what began as a simple good morning kiss turned passionate and they began where they left off the night before.

They had spent the night making up for lost time. Noah had come back from Minneapolis to find out that Luke had gone to Kentucky and had almost been shot. The thought of loosing Luke to another man with a gun sent a sharp pain to Noah's chest, and the fact that Luke was so calm about it made him angry. How could he risk his life like that? Didn't he know that if something had happened to him, Noah couldn't have survived it. The only thought that kept running through his head as he heard Lily describe what had happened was 'not again.' Then when Luke dismissed it and behaved like it was nothing grand, Noah exploded. Didn't he know how much he meant to Noah, how could he be so irresponsible and not think about what this would have done to him. Suddenly Noah was standing up feeling all the anger rising to a boil, he told Luke, "When you do decide there is something you want me around for, let me know, I'll be at work." With that he left Luke standing his living room, speechless.

When Luke showed up at JAVA and looked so sweet with the way he looked down at the floor then back up at Noah with his pouty kissable lips and said the words that swelled Noah's heart "I want to move back home," Noah hoped that he knew which home he meant, "to the apartment?" "To our apartment." Noah could swear he could hear songs going off in his head, just like those old musicals he would never admit to liking. Luke pushed his left hand in his pocket and kept his right hand on the counter, trying hard not to just reach over and grab Noah. He looked into his eyes hoping that Noah could read the love there was behind them, "Do you remember when you asked me to come get you when I figured out what I want you around for?" Noah couldn't help but smile "That was only a few hours ago, so, yeah." Luke leaned in towards Noah, swaying softly, "Well, I want you around for everything." Noah could not believe his ears; God how he loved this man, "That's what I want too. Why do you think I act so crazy sometimes?" Luke had to smile at that, but inside he was screaming, 'he really does want me' all he could say though was "I don't know, maybe I do make it harder on you." Noah couldn't help but agree "Yeah, yeah you do, but, you're kinda worth it." Noah's mouth was becoming more and more dry, he found it so hard to swallow as he asked "So when you gonna, when you gonna move back in," god he was blabbering. Luke knew what his boyfriend was thinking, he was thinking the same thing, "Well my bags are in the car. So when is your shift over?" Luke could see the lust in his boyfriend's eyes, it had been a while since they were last together, "Not soon enough." The kiss that followed that phrase was a precursor to what was to come. That night they made up for lost time, over and over again.

Luke walked into the kitchen to get his regular cup of coffee, but something was off. He turned around to ask Noah, who was just behind him, when he noticed that he was gone, and a wall had replaced the bedroom door. The apartment became dark all of a sudden and Luke couldn't see his own hand in front of his face. A voice came out of the darkness, a voice he wished he'd never hear again, it called to him, "Luciano…" Luke could feel his body begin to shake, he put his hands on his ears and fell to the ground shaking, "Noah, Noah, where are you? What have you done with him?" "Luciano, wake up, son." Luke brought his knees up to his chest and tried to shut out the voice with his hands over his ears, but it seemed to be coming from inside his head, "Nooo. Please no." All of a sudden Luke's hands where away from his head, he couldn't seem to move them, nor could he move his legs, it felt like hands where holding him down, hands that did not belong to Noah. Luke was beginning to feel his body, unable to move his legs he was afraid that he had awoken to another nightmare of paralysis. But as he took time to feel his body, he could feel his leg muscles, which seemed to be cramped; he tried to move his legs, only to find that they were somehow restrained. Luke was beginning to panic; he tried to move his arms, only to find that they too were restrained. What was going on?

Luke could hear voices around him, he tried to focus, and found he could make out one familiar voice, the voice of his nightmare, "Luciano, open your eyes son." Luke fought to keep his eyes closed but could feel them beginning to open, almost against his own will. He opened his eyes, then closed them against the bright light above him. He opened them up again and tried to focus on something other than the light, he turned his head to the right, but found that it felt heavy. He tried to talk and noticed that his mouth felt like someone had stuffed cotton balls in it. He tried to clear his throat, but found it was so dry that his mouth felt thick. A hand came into his view and went around his head to the back of his neck, the hand lifted his head and up to a cup of water that was being held up to his lips. Luke drank greedily, he was soo thirsty, god he'd never been this thirsty, what was wrong with him. Luke looked up from the cup and saw the face of the person holding it. "Damian.." his voice came out raspy, but the fear in it was very evident.

It was déjà vu; all of a sudden he was waking up in a hospital bed, with Damian holding his hand. That day seemed like a lifetime ago, but it hadn't even been a full year since the hit and run, kidnapping and the distant cousin from hell. Back then he hated Damian, but then he found himself drawn to this man, who shared his DNA, the man who he trusted when he was sixteen, when his mother wouldn't accept that he was gay, Damian seemed to understand. Months of pain followed and the true Damian came to light. He had tried to have his son sent to a deprogramming camp, then he tried to take him thousands of miles away from his home, with the lie that he was dying. Luke felt so grateful for all that Damian had done for him that he wanted to be there for him during his final days. When Luke found out about Damian's true intentions, and his involvement in the Ross Krieger incident, he felt like someone had punched him in the gut. He had opened up to this man, his biological father, the one that no matter what Luke said he wanted to be loved by. He had yelled and punched and cried, he decided there and then to forget about his blood ties, his father, his real father, Holden, had accepted him from the beginning.

Luke's eyes widened as he realized that he was strapped to a bed and Damian was looming above him. He struggled to get loose, but couldn't budge the straps that held him down. "Damian….what the hell are you doing? Let me go!" Damian, who had been leaning over straightened up to his full height, and from Luke's vantage point it was very frightening, but he was not about to let him see the fear in his eyes. "Luciano, I can't do that son. Not yet, anyway. We have some work to do and when we are through I will be more than happy to have you by my side." Luke tried again to struggle against the restraints, he yelled at the top of his lungs, "You let me go! NOW!!! I'll never be at your side. My mother…" Just then, Luke remembered what had been sitting in the back of his memory, "My….mother? Oh my God, where is she Damian? What have you done with my mother? Answer me….DAMMIT, where is she?!" Luke dropped his head back onto his pillow; he could feel the tears running down the side of his head. He remembered everything, getting the text from his mom, getting on the ship and finding her unconscious in a room. He remembered trying to wake her up when he felt a sharp pain in his right arm. Luke looked up to see his presumed dead father standing over him with syringe in his hand. He remembered pushing him away and running, running up the steps that led to the deck above. Luke remembered finding his phone and hitting the speed dial to the only person he could think of, the one person whose voice he wanted to hear one last time. Luke could still hear Noah's voice, the panic as he begged Luke to tell him where he was. Now the tears flowed freely as Luke remembered Noah's then his Dad's voice just before he lost consciousness. How could he have been so stupid? To believe this man, who had proven time and again that he could not be trusted.

"Luciano, son, look at me." Luke turned his head enough to look into the eyes of the man who had taken him away from all he loved, again. He felt like he was 8 years old. How could this happen, again? He swore this man would never destroy his life ever again, and here he was tied to a bed after being kidnapped again. "Where.. is.. my.. mother….Damian?" Luke tried so hard not to cry, but the tears wouldn't stop flowing. They were tears of anger and despair, tears of defeat. Damian placed his hand on Luke's face, wiping the tears away. Luke only felt more anger towards this man, as he caressed his face, like a father would a crying child. He shook his head, trying to move his face from the hands that have drugged him and taken him away from his life. The hands that held him when he cried over the loss of his father. The hands that held his little brother and sister as they wept over that same loss. These hands turned vicious when they tried to strangle the life from his aunt's body, and held his mother against her will. Luke felt nauseous at the touch, and had to take deep breaths to keep from throwing up. "Don't touch me…" he spat out at Damian, "you are not allowed to ever touch me again. You're not my father, you're a monster who disguised himself as a caring man, only to get through our barriers. I hate you!" Luke didn't expect what happened next. Damian's hand, the one that was just a short time ago was wiping away Luke's tears, came through the air and slapped him across the face. The force of it rocked his head to the side. The surprise of the hit alone kept Luke from talking. No matter what this man had done before, he had never physically been violent with Luke, which made this even harder to understand. Who was this man? Damian had always been so caring towards Luke, all he ever wanted was to get close to him, or so he believed. Now this showed Luke the side of Damian his dad always knew was there, the side he'd always been warned about.

"Luciano…. I didn't mean to do that son, please forgive me." Luke looked up to see the shock in Damian's eyes, apparently he let his temper get the best of him, and the slap surprised him too. Luke could still feel the sting on his cheek, but he would not give Damian the satisfaction of showing that it hurt. He looked at his father, "My dad was right about you all along. You really are a monster." Luke could see Damian's hand moving again, but he just stared at him, almost daring him to hit him again. He would not let Damian see fear in his eyes.

Damian, smiled down at his son, the look of rebellion, the challenge in his eyes, was making him proud. He knew that there was a lot of work to do, but Luke would become his son again. "Luciano, I've brought someone here to help me. You may remember.." Luke watched as Damian stepped away from the bed and motioned for someone who was standing in the shadows to come forward. Luke could feel his heart stop, the fear that he tried so hard to control was back, his eyes widened and his body began to shake. "You remember, Mr. Kreiger, don't you son?" Luke knew now what his father was up to, and fear began to take over, he fought against his restraints, praying that the adrenaline running through his body would be enough to help him break free. Unfortunately all that his thrashing around did was get the leather to rub against his skin and cut into his flesh. But Luke didn't care; at this point he would chew his arm off if he could. During his struggles Luke did not see the men come into the room, he didn't notice them until they were holding him down, and Ross Kreiger was standing above him with a syringe. "Calm down Mr. Grimaldi, everything will be alright." Luke tried so hard to fight the arms holding him, but it was useless. He felt the needle enter his arm, and the last thing he said before the darkness engulfed him was, "my…name….is…Snyd…, never Grima..l.."

Damian looked down on his son's unconscious form and ran his hands through his hair. "Soon, you will not even remember that name. You will be my son, not his." As he wiped the hair away from Luke's eyes, he spoke to Kreiger without even looking at him, "You can do this, right? I am paying you a lot of money to make him forget, and if you fail, you know what will happen to you." Kreiger swallowed the lump in his throat at this obvious threat; Damian Grimaldi was never one to mince words. "Yes, Mr. Grimaldi, your son will forget that part of his life. I will give him memories of you and your wife. He will believe that you have always been a part of his life. I can guarantee that you will never hear the word Snyder come from him again." Damian nodded, turned and walked out of the room, he would not be there to hear his son's screams, he had to work on getting Lily to cooperate. That task alone will be hard enough. He trusted that Kreiger would get the job done. After all the ends always justify the means, and if Luke called him father and loved him as much as he loved Luke then it will all be worth it.