It has been MORE than a long time for this chapter, and for that I apologise with all my heart and soul! I've been at University and finding time to write has been insanely difficult but today - well, today the slashy goodness just tempted me to take some time for myself, JD and Dr. Cox.

So, without further ado, the next Chapter! Love to all that have reviewed, you guys are frigging AMAZING! I hope that everyone who has added this to their Story Alerts is now jittery with anticipation. ;-)

OH - one more thing, and this is pretty important; this chapter works really hard to stay canon with the actual goings-on in the rest of Season 4 but towards the end and for the rest of the story it probably won't. I wanted to try and make it work, but adding in everyone's issues and developing the storyline at the same time is quite complicated so after this it won't be canon anymore, though I may use titbits from the series when it's necessary.

Also, a really nice POV from Carla here, I really enjoyed writing it, made the story feel slightly more involved with everyone else.

Thanking you - now read on, my lovelies, read on!

Chapter Seven - Loss

JD POV

The weeks flew by; soon I was faced with accepting that it had been weeks since my Dad had died and the possibility of it all being some crazy dream was now out of the picture. It was almost a relief to properly accept it, as the days that flew by afterwards weren't without their complications; as if on cue, three women stepped into my life pretty much one after the other - the beautiful, crazy Molly Clock; the terrifying, cold-hearted Neena Broderick; and finally, a girl so perfect for me I could hardly believe she was mine… Kylie. Gorgeous, funny, warm-hearted Kylie.

Let's get this straight, things are never simple in my relationships and I get that. It's like I attract drama - no wonder I had so many almost-relationships with Elliot, she's the Drama-Queen of Sacred Heart… but anyway. Kylie and I were getting along really well, we had so much fun and Turk absolutely adored her so in regards to the emotional and social sides of the relationship it's everything I could have ever asked for. Of course, that doesn't quite change the fact that we still hadn't had sex. Not once. Not even close. Not even a bit of fondling, I mean, come on! Don't get me wrong here, I wasn't in it just for the sex but every time it looked like we were about to get down to business she'd give me the 'goodbye' kiss and I'd be out in the cold within three minutes.

To add insult to injury, Turk and Carla decided that they needed 'space' and that I had to move out. Don't assume they gave me much time to do it, either - I had practically hours to find a new place, despite being at work all day.

"Look, Laverne, it'd just be for a week -"

"Q-tip, even if I had the space I'd still tell you you're wasting your time. Mr. Roberts likes to have the house to ourselves in the evenings - especially the kitchen." She smirked, winking.

I recoiled in horror at what she was most definitely alluding to and simply exited as quickly as I could - Nurse Roberts' sex life was the last thing I wanted to think about.

Well. Maybe there were a few other things I was trying to keep from my mind.

Dr. Cox and I, after a few days of me avoiding him and him not caring, had returned to normal - we never discussed what had happened and I really didn't want to bring it up so was more than happy to carry on as usual. We never spent too long in a room alone with each other, and though I liked to kid myself into believing it was just because we were both swamped with work I knew the truth of it was that I came up with any excuse I could to get out of a room with him in. Because as much as I hated to admit it, I was scared of him. Dr. Cox was turning into someone I didn't recognise, and the worst part of it was even when he was being his usual mean-mentor self all I could see when I looked at him was the way his eyes had burned when he had looked at me up against that wall, his anger radiating off onto me -

Half the time all I could remember was how it felt to be that close to him for such an extensive amount of time.

I somehow managed to keep myself distracted throughout the day; I wrote a list of people I could ask about renting a room, saw to all of my patients and even managed to fit in a game of 'hide the saltine; with Turk. I honestly had no idea how I was keeping sane, but the possibility of Kylie letting me stay at her place was one that kept my mind from my tormentor.

…needless to say I somehow managed to screw that up too (I don't know what did it, whether it was the unwashed scent of Rowdy or maybe-possibly-definitely my hints towards wanting this new situation to lead to sex) so I found myself heading to more unfamiliar territory - first to The Todd, which was so disturbing it's yet another memory I had to suppress; then onto having to reject an offer from the Janitor which would have almost definitely resulted in some sort of maiming; Ted and Lonny came next, but unless I wanted to share a bed with Ted and his Mom or sleep on Lonny's doorstep as there was no room due to the three illegitimate children in his apartment, I was pretty much screwed.

That's not to say I was entirely disappointed with my efforts - in my effort to get in touch with Doug I managed to have a chance meeting with Ed McMahon (definitely to go on the list of My 20 Greatest Moments) which definitely made my night. Of course, then I found myself trailing back to the hospital in an attempt to find somewhere to sleep.

" - in fact, if you want, you can baby-sit my kid!"

Baby-sit? Here was my chance! I found myself running towards the voice, knowing it was Dr. Cox and knowing that he was the last person I wanted to do a favour for but I was desperate. I saw him through an archway, walking with (I almost cried out with joy) his own version of Chocolate Bear - I walked towards them.

"Are we really doing this? 'Cos I'll baby-sit the hell out of your kid."

I was almost there…

"Oh, bring it on Daddy -"

I leapt around the corner behind them, words flying out before I could stop them.

"Who needs a baby-sitter?! I'll do it! You don't even have to pay me in cash, just pay me in hot showers."

From the moment Dr. Cox and his friend had turned around to face me, I could feel a blush threatening to creep up into my cheeks - undeniably girly, but in all honesty the only reason I wanted to stop myself from letting them see it was because I didn't want to give Dr. Cox the pleasure of knowing I was still awkward. His eyes fixed on me with frustration edging the iciness of his glare. I felt my mouth dry up as my eyes met his, but I kept talking, mostly to prove to myself that I still could.

"And you don't have to like, wash me, unless you want to - but that could be weird, I don't know…"

Oh god, he was still staring at me. I faintly heard his reply ("Newbie! I've got this one covered!") but it was taking all of my self-control not to turn away and run in the opposite direction - why was he looking at me like that?! Why did he have to make me feel so damned awkward when what I really needed was for someone to take pity on me and give me somewhere to stay?!

Dr. Cox POV

The idea of taking pity on Newbie and letting him stay anywhere near me was difficult enough to stomach, but as soon as he suggested the idea of washing him in a hot shower - well, that was when I realised that as much I had tried to pretend otherwise, this weird little game of mine was not over yet. I mean, yeah, I had other things on my mind such as Ron's kid probably having Autism and treating Mrs. Berry who, despite our best efforts was rapidly deteriorating… but now I had another 'to do' added to the list, and this 'to do' was becoming more and more disturbing. I mean come on, the way he looked at me wasn't filled with respect like it once was - instead, he was looking at me like I was about to jump on him and eat him, which, to be completely fair to the kid, wasn't far off from the last time.

His eyes flickered from Ron to me, hope in his eyes (still mixed with that damned fear).

"Come on, you're interracial best buddies! I, too, have a black best friend - go out, enjoy it, celebrate your uniqueness, I can do it!"

I played along with Ron as he berated Newbie for his use of 'black' instead of 'African-American', closed my eyes with frustration as the kid brought up his 'interracial best buddy' and finally allowed my eyes to settle back onto him as Ron finished off with an all-mighty "Who the hell is Turk?!" - but it was difficult. Because rather than feeling simply frustrated at him and wanting him to get the hell away so I could confirm this baby-sitting thing with Ron, instead I found myself noting the dark circles underneath Newbie's eyes, his unhealthily flushed cheeks, his too-bright eyes. Was he ill? Not that I gave a damn, but if he was ill he sure as hell shouldn't be in the hospital. Or at least, that's what I told myself.

"I should go."

He slipped between us, brushing up against me and leaving behind that scent, that lavender mixed with something slightly more masculine that made me want to stride after him, grab him by the arm and -

I forced myself back to the matter at hand.

"Angry black man - it never disappoints."

Ron grinned. "I pull it out when I need to."

"So whaddya say?"

Fifteen minutes later I was getting in my car to head back to my place to look after his kid, studiously ignoring the soaking wet, dishevelled Newbie climbing onto his scooter in the rain.

X X X X X

Carla POV

After realising that we needed Bambi in our lives, we found him at Kylie's and managed to convince him to come home; it didn't take much as soon as he realised that we'd effectively ruined his chances of sleeping with her (oops) and by the time we were all settled in the living room together it felt like he'd never left.

Well, until he made Turk and I realise we were in trouble. Suddenly it was like everything that could go wrong in our relationship happened, or felt like it - he started talking to an ex-girlfriend a day after JD moved back in, eventually driving me to the point where I couldn't handle it anymore and had to stop him from talking to her. It was then that I found out he hadn't told her that he was married, and it was then that I found myself so angry I could barely see straight - I got out of there as quickly as possible, walking towards somewhere, having no idea where I was heading to. It was only as I found myself buzzing Perry Cox's apartment from outside his building that I managed to figure out where I was.

Anger makes me lose my head a little.

"What do you want?"

The voice over the intercom was harsh, stressed and female - I cursed in Spanish under my breath. Why did Jordan have to be in? I wasn't in the mood for her, I just wanted to speak to Dr. Cox, be with a familiar face that didn't remind me of Turk like JD did.

"Hello?"

I sighed.

"Sorry, Jordan, it's Carla. I know it's late, and I hope you don't mind but I was hoping to speak to -"

"Perry's not home."

My brow creased in confusion. Where was he, at this time of the evening?

"O…kay, well, I'm sure I'll speak to him another time. Sorry again, night."

"Wait, wait, wait! I've got a bottle of wine and Jack's literally just fallen asleep again, wanna come up?"

"Uhhh…"

"Oh, come on. I know we don't get along so well but I'm bored and lonely, and god knows when ass-face is gonna get home."

Taking a deep breath, I replied a hesitant "all right then" and pulled open the door as it buzzed - this was bizarre. Jordan and I hadn't had the easiest acquaintanceship since she and Dr. Cox had become a couple again, and both being stubborn women who held an important place in his life… well, we were susceptible to clashing. And I couldn't see tonight being any different.

The door opened before I even reached it, and there she stood, perfectly dressed with her flawless make-up, looking over my wet clothes and hair before shaking her head and passing me a glass of red wine. "Come on in, I'll get you some clothes."

I walked in, shutting the door quietly behind me and brushing my wet hair out of my face - did it look like I'd been crying? I hadn't even realised there were tears falling down my face as I had been walking until I'd caught sight of my reflection in a bus window, my cheeks streaked with mascara. I stood by the door, waiting for Jordan to return, glancing around at the apartment that had always struck me as cold and impersonal, even with toys scattered around. I guess some places just don't change. In a way, it was comforting.

"There's a dry towel in the bathroom, and I left some clothes in there for you."

I turned and nodded to Jordan, trying to portray my gratefulness in the little forced smile I gave. I took my glass of wine with me into the stark white bathroom, locking the door behind me and staring at myself in the mirror. What was I doing here? What had I hoped for by coming here? For Dr. Cox to be my saviour? It had been a long time since we'd been that close, and I was almost certain that I hadn't come here for sex, so why had I chosen here of all places?

I washed my face, dried myself with the towel and pulled on the black trousers and a surprisingly comfortable mocha sweatshirt, pulling a hairbrush through my hair before unlocking the door and stepping out, wine glass in hand.

"Come sit, I have chocolate."

Jordan's sharp eyes were surprisingly soft as she looked at me, patting the seat beside her and shifting over so that I had more room - I sat beside her, taking a few gulps of the wine without realising what I was doing. She continued to look at me, taking a sip of her own wine before raising an eyebrow. I was surprised she still could after all the botox.

"So come on, tell me! What happened? Found your husband boinking someone else?"

My mouth fell open. "You don't beat around the bush, do you?"

She shrugged, leaning back. "Honey, you can't expect me to not ask questions when you turn up here with mascara down your face, soaked through."

I felt my defences rise but in all fairness to her, Jordan had so far been extremely generous when she had absolutely no need to be. I took a few sips of wine and forced myself to calm down.

"I don't even know if I should be angry. I found out that Turk was talking to an ex-girlfriend - at least once a day - and the moment I tell him to stop talking to her, it turns out she didn't even know he was married. How could he not tell her something like that? I'm his wife, I'm his other half… how am I not important enough?"

Jordan raised her eyebrow again. "Are you kidding me? You're upset over something trivial like that? I could tell you stories that would shock the hell out of you! Your marriage is a water-slide compared to mine and Perry's train wreck. You think you've reached the end of the horror and screaming and then you just find something else in your path that sets you back a thousand paces."

"Yeah, but that's you and Dr. Cox! You've always been a mess, but Turk and I have always been fine until this all exploded in my face. How am I supposed to handle something like this? How can I trust him to stay faithful to me when he's off talking to ex-girlfriends and neglecting to tell them about me, his wife?" My eyes were filling up again.

"Easy," she replied, sipping her wine. "You move out for a little while and when you're ready go back to him."

I laughed bitterly. "It's that easy? I'll just somehow trust him again?"

Suddenly she was sitting up, putting her wine down and leaning forward; her brown eyes met mine, half-amused and half-serious.

"Look Carla… if you don't give yourselves some space through this, what are you going to end up doing? Arguing, screaming at each other? End up hating each other so much that you find yourselves breaking up after months of pain? I mean, honestly, can you see the point in that?"

I bit my lip. "No, but -"

"No buts! Perry and I have had so many breaks we've been off more than on, but we always manage to work it out and still somehow care about each other. Sometimes… space is all it takes to get things back on track."

There was a strangeness to her tone, and I picked up on it straight away. "But sometimes it isn't?"

Jordan smiled wryly. "A few times Perry and I have used our time away from each other to pursue other things, other people. Usually that happens when he gives the marching orders - I get pissy and go and sleep with whatever frat boys are in town, and he finds some leggy blonde to bring back here and almost sleep with -"

"Almost sleep with?"

"Yeah, I don't quite understand it either - whenever Perry goes to sleep with someone else, chances are that he'll bail out and just wait for me to come on home."

I stopped for a second, thinking this through. If I left Turk to his own devices, would he call his ex-girlfriend again? Would he give up on our marriage for a flirtation and some easy sex? Just how unimportant was I to him?

"Oh, stop your self-pity," Jordan suddenly said, frowning. "You have a great relationship with what's-his-name! And I have a great relationship with Perry; we just look for different things in a relationship. Yes, it's a little screwed up but our way of handling things works for us. If you and your man take a break, take a breather, chances are you'll both just figure out how much you need each other and he'll be at your beck and call for the rest of your life!"

"But how can you trust Dr. Cox after almost sleeping with so many women?" I said desperately, suddenly realising I needed answers and knowing that for whatever reason, it was meant to be Jordan here tonight and not Perry. "How can you take so many 'breathers' and still come out of it like you are?"

For a few moments we sat quietly, her looking intently at me as if wanting to say something and me looking at her with hope in my eyes - I needed reassurance. I knew I was looking at the wrong person for it, but I needed it and I prayed that she would be the one to help.

"Carla, we haven't always seen eye to eye, but I know that you want Perry to be happy, right?" I nodded, feeling slightly guilty that she was being so generous with her time when I had never given her any of mine. "Well… it's not always that simple. We make each other happy most of the time, and when we don't, we take a break. But recently…" She paused, and I saw something flicker in her eyes as she deftly changed the direction she was heading in. "Look, you know deep down what's right for you. Just focus on that and do what you need to do. All I can tell you is there's a reason you're so upset, and that's because you know that he isn't the type to do something like this. It's one mistake."

I took on what she was saying, but I couldn't forget what she had said before. "What were you going to say? Before, about recently with Dr. Cox?"

"It's not important." She waved it off. "Perry always gets distracted by things, it's never something to worry about. We always choose each other in the end."

"Do you think he's having an affair?" I was truly shocked - in all my years of knowing Dr. Cox, he'd never actually cheated on Jordan. More like he cheated on his girlfriends with Jordan.

She shrugged. "Who knows? All I know is that something's on his mind and it's distracting him from me, from Jack and I don't know, maybe even from work. But it's out of my hands - your issue isn't out of yours."

I found myself nodding again, grateful for what she was saying, grateful for the unexpected kindness. I stood, placing my glass of wine down.

"I should probably get going," I smiled warmly at her, probably the warmest gesture I'd ever offered her. "Look, I know we're not that close but -"

"I know, and I know that you'd do the same for me if it were the other way around. We both want to keep Perry happy, and so long as one of us is unhappy that just won't happen, right?"

The silence reminded us both of Jordan's admission that something wasn't quite right with Dr. Cox, but we both allowed it to bypass as we walked to the front door. She opened it for me and I stepped into the hallway.

"Thank you."

"I was lonely, it wasn't just for you."

Back to normal; I smiled once more before making my way downstairs. I had made my decision, I knew I had - I would give us space, would live with Elliot for a little while until it was right for us to live together again. I still loved Turk, with all my heart, but I couldn't trust him like I could before - living with him might just push our relationship over the edge. I silently thanked Jordan again as I pushed open the door and stepped into the pouring rain. I found myself face-to-face with Dr. Cox.

"What're you doing here?" he said, confusion crossing his face as he looked at me, wearing Jordan's clothes. I'll have to pick my clothes up at some point, I mused. I found myself looking at him differently, wondering where he'd been at this time of night, wondering if he did actually have a bit on the side to keep himself happy. I felt the old anger flare up again.

"I've been spending some time with your wife," I said coldly, staring up at him. He looked taken aback by my tone and reached out to touch my arm - I pulled away.

"Carla, are you… are you all right? You look kind of pissed off there. Don't tell me Ghandi's gone and taken Newbie as his mistress?"

Suddenly I found my anger uncontrollable; I reached out and placed my palms flat against his chest, pushing him. "Everything is a joke to you, isn't it? What if Turk had taken a mistress? Would you laugh? Would you make jokes about it?"

His mouth fell slightly open, rain dripping from his hair onto his lips.

"And what about JD, hmmm? Why are you picking on him so badly? I've seen the way you look at him, all cold and uncaring - what has he done to deserve it? He does nothing but worship you and you treat him like dirt. I don't know what happened to you, but you've changed and I don't think I even know you anymore!"

"Now look -"

"No, YOU look!" I was practically shouting and I knew that part of my anger was to do with Turk and not him but I had to release it, he had to see what was going on inside of my head, my heart. "You push away the people that care about you the most, and for what? To mess with their heads? To scare them into submission? And now, look at you now, coming back from god knows where at this time of night? Care to tell me where you've been? Care to tell Jordan?"

A strange smile crept upon his lips as he closed his eyes and lowered his head. That answered it for me - whatever he was doing, he didn't want Jordan to know about it. I was so angry I couldn't speak.

His voice was low and quiet in comparison to mine, and I had to strain to hear it. "It doesn't matter where I have or haven't been - it is not yours or my wife's business."

I shook my head disbelievingly. "So that's how you're going to play it. Well fine, Perry, fine, do what you want and damn the consequences, right? Don't worry about who gets hurt. My husband and I are living apart as of tonight because of leaving out important information - yes, that's right!" I cried, seeing his look of shock. "My relationship could be over because of something that seems so small, but when you look at it from my side, it's a big thing. When you look at what you're doing from Jordan's side -"

"Now what in the hell do you think you're talking about?" he said, anger suddenly flashing in his eyes, eyes that I had once sought comfort in. "You automatically assume that because I'm out at this time I'm having an affair? Course, that's just what I'd do, fuck around and keep it from Jordan. I mean, Jesus Christ Carla, when was the last time I did something bad and then hid it from her? From you? How much faith do you have in me, exactly, 'cos right now it sure doesn't feel like much!"

I nodded, fumbling with my back and preparing to walk. "You're right. I have lost faith in you. I've seen what your indifference can do to people, Dr. Cox, and you must forgive me if I don't let you get close enough anymore to do the same to me. I won't see myself hurt the way you've hurt JD, I just won't."

I began to walk away, but he leapt in front of me, raising his hands to stop me.

"Wait just a minute, now this is about Newbie? What exactly is the importance of him in this conversation, because I sure as hell can't see it!"

"The importance? The importance is him, you jackass! When are you going to open your eyes and see that he's not someone you can mess around with to your hearts content? You think I haven't seen the look in his eyes when he sees you walking nearby? The fear? The regret? I don't know what the hell you've done to him, but you've taken a part of what used to make him him away and I'm telling you, you will put it back. You either do that or leave him alone, let someone else look after him. You don't deserve him anymore, and you sure as hell don't deserve my friendship."

With that, I left him standing there, marching towards Elliot's where I knew I would find a friend who would not hurt me and would simply hug me and provide me with somewhere warm to sleep. I didn't look back.

There you have it folks, Chapter 7! Am writing Chapter 8 as we speak, so expect an update within the next few days - or, to be honest, in the next few hours! R & R as ever, and I hope you all didn't give up hope on this one too much!