"Don't Leave."
(Short & boring ; this is just a fill in chapter)
Seth was half ass listening to Roman talk about his honeymoon. The last thing he wanted to do was see or hear about anything having to do with love when Dean wouldn't even speak to him.
"You alright, man?" Roman asked. "You seem kind of distracted."
Seth shook his head. "Nah, I'm fine. I just have a lot on my mind." He sighed. He didn't have much on his mind except for Dean. "Have you heard from Dean?"
"Nah, I haven't heard from him since last week when we were supposed to shoot some hoops." Roman shrugged, sipping on his soda. "He never showed up at the park. Oh, he did text me back a couple days ago just to tell me that he was alright, that he needed some time away. That's about it, though."
Seth frowned, trying to hide his disappointment He'd called and text Dean many times and he wrote Roman back but not him. Seth hadn't been in a good place this past week or so. Whenever he's not working, he's at home feeling sorry for himself. He'd fallen into such a dark place and he didn't know if anything could get him out of it, except for Dean. As Roman took a phone call outside, Seth covered his face with his hands and sighed deeply, the depression taking over again. It'd gone as far as him packing some of his stuff up in plans to move out of the state. Maybe getting away from the situation would help him, even though he knew it wouldn't. He just didn't want to hurt anymore... he didn't want to cry or beg to God to bring Dean back.
Roman came back to the table. "Alright, bro. Let's get out of here and shoot some hoops. You up for it?"
Seth just wanted to go home, but he knew Roman would question him about it. "Yeah, sure. Let's go."
Dean wasn't worried about the speed limit as he drove back home, windows down, music blasting, cigarette in hand. It's been a week since he's slept in his bed or seen anyone who he knew. Vegas had been the perfect place for him to go to get his mind off everything... or so he'd hoped. It helped the first two nights as he played the slots and tables at the casino, or buried himself in between some random woman's legs. The fact that he was considerably drunk half the time helped matters as well. After those first few days, he started to think about Seth more, miss him more, want him more.
Groaning, he pulled over to the side of the road and grabbed his phone. He looked through Seth's messages that her never replied to.
Seth: Dean, where are you? It's been two days.
Seth: Please just talk to me. I'm worried about you.
Seth: Tell me where you are. I'll come to you.
Seth: You're really starting to worry me, Dean.
Seth: It's been 5 days. Where the hell are you?
Seth: Come on! Fucking talk to me!
Sighing, he flicked his cigarette out the window, putting his head on the steering. He felt so emotional drained when it came to Seth and this was new to him... feeling drained and especially because of a man. He never thought he would ever feel like this, but he couldn't deny it. Seth was invading his every thought. Everything reminded him of Seth, his skin, his lips, his hair... even his goofy stupid gap. He groaned again. "Fuck." He said to himself before putting the car back in park and speeding all the way home. Dean couldn't get the image of Seth's face the last time he saw him, knowing his heart was breaking each time Dean pulled away from him. Reaching the main road, he decided to go see Seth, knowing that he wasn't going to resist being so close to him without being near him.
Later that night
Seth was in his kitchen making some dinner for himself. Today, he'd hung out with Roman all day and was glad that Dean wasn't on his mind, if even for two hours. Taking out the chicken from the oven and turning off the stove, he fixed a plate and headed to the table. Before he could sit down, there was a knock on the door. Sighing, he went to answer it and froze when Dean stood on the other side.
"W-what..."
Dean scratched the back of his head, not quite looking at Seth. "Hey."
Seth wanted to hug him, breathe in his scent, but he didn't move. "Where have you been, Dean? I've been worried sick."
"I know. I'm sorry..." He closed his eyes and sighed. "I didn't... mean to hurt you."
"Where'd you go?"
Dean shook his head. "You don't want to know the answer to that." He walked around Seth, his fingers itching to be buried in his hair. "I just needed to get away. Being around you is intoxicating. I thought if I got away from you, I could figure all this out, but I'm honestly more confused as I was last week..." He trailed off, realizing he was rambling.
Seth closed the door, crossing his arms across his chest, staring at Dean. "Are you hungry? I made some dinner."
"I could eat." Dean frowned and moved to sit at the table.
Seth went into the kitchen, trying to keep his emotions at bay. He was angry with Dean, but at the same time he was happy to be back and even more excited that he was even talking to him. Fixing him a plate and grabbing them a couple beers, he went back and sat across him him at the table. "Here you go." He set the plate and a beer in front of Dean.
"Thanks." Dean mumbled and went for the beer first, opening it and taking a long slug of it. "I was in Vegas." He said.
"Vegas," Seth repeated, nodding his head. "What was in Vegas?"
"Everything I needed to get my mind off of you."
"Did it work?"
"At first... but then I stopped trying." He shrugged, pushing the food around his plate with the fork. "I started to miss you."
Seth, who now lost his appetite, pushed the plate away from him and rubbed his face. "Dean, I can't keep going back and forth with you. This whole week, I was miserable. You wouldn't answer my texts or my calls and at one point, I started to think you were dead. That was hard for me. And now, you want to come waltzing in here and tell me all this stuff as if it's going to change anything. You don't change, Dean, so why are you even here?" Seth didn't want to be mean, but Dean can't keep playing with his emotions like that. His heart just couldn't handle being played with.
Dean shrugged, finally moving the fork to his mouth and tasting some of the potatoes. Sighing, he put the fork back down and continued to drink his beer. His mind was all over the place. All he wanted to do was touch Seth. Dean closed his eyes, leaning forward on the table. "I don't do this, Seth... but I don't want to be apart from you anymore. It hurts too much."
Seth wanted to reach over and grab his hand, but didn't want to freak him out even more. "Then don't." He responded softly. "We don't have to do anything, just don't leave again. Please." He knew he sounded desperate, but he really was. He couldn't standing being away from Dean, worrying about him constantly... losing sleep over the fact that he was gone.
Dean sighed, looking back into Seth's eyes. "I'm scared."
Seth's heart shattered for the man he fell in love with. Standing up, he went over to Dean and kneeled in front of him. "I am, too. I'm scared every day. But I promise you, Dean, I will never do anything to make you regret this." Seth grabbed his hand. "To regret us. I'm so in love with you." He blurted the last sentence out before he can stop himself.
Dean quickly moved away. "I should go." He mumbled.
"Dean..."
"No, Seth. I just... I'll talk to you tomorrow." He walked around Seth and left the house, even more scared and confused than he was before arriving.