The Search – Chapter 13

Letters

It has been a week since they first began contact with the compound. Their source on the inside, a young maid, had been very helpful with getting information to them from Lily.

They hadn't gotten any information about Luke, though, and Noah was beginning to worry. He paced the small space they had to live in, over and over again. It was getting to the point

where Holden had to stand up and stop the young man in his tracks, or he was going to lose his mind, "Noah, you have to stop pacing, or you're going to drive me insane." Noah stopped

and stared at the older man, looking at him as if he didn't understand what he was talking about. Holden took Noah by the arms and shook him a bit, "Noah, listen to me, son. I know

you're worried about Luke. Hell, I'm terrified thinking about what Lily is going through, but we have to focus on what is good about this situation." Noah looked at Holden as if he hadgone

insane. "Good? What is so damn good about this whole thing?"

Noah pulled himself free from Holden's grasp and walked towards the table in the middle of the room. He sat down on one of the chairs and put the palms of his hands up to his eyes and

began to rub. Holden could see the signs of another of Noah's headaches; he knew the young man wasn't taking his medicine on a regular basis. Holden walked up to the table and

knelt beside him, "Noah, have you taken your pills lately?" Noah was rubbing his eyes furiously, fighting back the tears that were threatening to fall. He knew that lack of sleep and all the

tension since the kidnapping hasn't helped with his recovery time, if anything it has pushed it back quite a bit. He looked over at Holden and saw the concern on his face. Noah knew that

Holden was worried about Luke as well as Lily and he didn't need to have to worry about Noah too. But he knew that he would not be able to lie to him. "I'm almost out, and I didn't want

to worry you about it." Holden couldn't help but look at Noah with sympathy. He knew that the Colonel had drilled such wrong things into this young man's mind that he would rather

suffer in silence then to mention that he needed more medication. He still seemed to think that he was a burden to him, just like he did after the accident, when he pushed Luke away for

that very same reason. "Noah, you trust me don't you?"

Noah's brow came together as he stared at Holden with a confusion showing on his face, "of course, I trust you Holden. I'd trust you with my life." Holden smiled, "then why didn't you

come to me when you knew you were running low on your pills?" Noah turned away from the look of disappointment in Holden's eyes, only to have Holden turn his face back to him, "Noah,

you are as much a son to me now as you were when you and Luke were still 'officially' dating. I care for you, and want you to stay healthy. Cause, you know once this is over, Luke will kill me if

you aren't around anymore." Holden gave Noah a lopsided grin, and Noah couldn't help but smile back. "You're right, I'm sorry. It's just that I still have my father's voice inside my head

telling me 'real men don't complain about pain,' it's something I have to work through." Holden stood up and put his hand on Noah's shoulder, "where are your pills?" Noah was about to

stand when Holden pushed him back down onto the seat, "I'll get them, you stay right there." Noah nodded, "they're in my jacket pocket, on my cot." Holden walked over to the very small

cot Noah was using as a bed and found the jacket and the pills. He walked to the little alcove they called a kitchen and found a bottle of water for Noah.

Holden looked over and saw that Noah had put his head down on the table. A stab of guilt went through him. He wished he'd never let Noah come with him. Though he remembered that

argument clearly and knew that there was no way he was going to be able to convince Noah to stay behind.

Holden looked at the young man standing in front of him with a duffle bag, "Noah, this isn't a good idea. You're still not fully recovered from your surgery you shouldn't be going with me." The younger man stood in front of Holden, a look of determination on his face. Holden couldn't help but think about his son at that moment. Luke always said that Noah was one of the most stubborn people he knew, and that when he decided to do something there was no stopping him. Holden could understand now why that frustrated Luke so much. Yet at the same time, it made Holden want to grab the boy and hug him. Tell him how grateful he was for the love he has shown his son. Holden knew that Luke was lonely after he came out to them, and that he believed that he would be alone for the rest of his life. He never actually told Holden this, but he could see it in his sons eyes whenever he came in and found Holden and Lily kissing, or hugging. Holden's only wish was for that look of despair to disappear from his sons eyes, because he knew that someone out there would be the luckiest guy in the world to have Luke love him.

When Noah came along, at first Holden was skeptical. He believed that Luke was repeating the same mistakes that he made with Kevin. That again Luke had fallen for a straight guy, a straight guy with a girlfriend, who was one of Luke's best friends. Even though Luke assured his father that the situation with Noah was not the same as it was with Kevin, he couldn't help but be afraid his son would be hurt again. Now here he was standing at the air strip where his mother in laws private plane was being prepared to take him to Malta, and this determined stubborn young man was staring him down. Holden knew that this was hard for Noah to do. He knew how Noah was almost painfully respectful to his elders, and that he may even be a small bit afraid of Holden. But there he was not backing down. His eyes seemed to have darkened with a fierce resolve.

"Holden… sir… I am going with you, whether you want me to or not. Hell, I don't care if I have to hang onto the landing gear and hold on all the way to Malta, cause the only way you are going to stop me is to knock me out and lock me in a room with a steel door.

Noah gripped his bag even more tightly he was ready to fight his way onto that plane if he had to. Though he knew that he would never raise his hand against Holden Snyder, he was hoping that the man could see that he would put up a fight if he wasn't allowed to go. Noah couldn't even think of not going. The thought of staying behind made him physically and mentally sick. He loved Luke so much, and he had been such a fool for so long, losing him again was not an option. Noah stood rigid ready to pounce on the first person who tried to drag him away, when he was surprised to see Holden smiling at him.

"Luke was right, you are a stubborn mule, aren't you." Holden stepped away from the stairs leading to the inside of the plane. He looked at the young man in front of him and decided that if Noah was willing to go against everything he believed in, such as fighting with his love's father, then how could he tell him no. He watched as Noah let out a breath and began to relax. He could see the hand holding his duffle releasing a bit of pressure on the handle and his body physically deflating. Holden watched as the young man began to tentatively walk toward the plane, almost as if he was expecting a surprise attack. Holden put his hand on Noah's shoulder, "Noah, I know that you're in pain, I can see it when you try to hide it, so if you're going with me, we are going to need to communicate with each other." He looked into Noah's eyes, finding understanding there, "I'm going to need to know that you are going to be honest with me. I know you love my son, and I know that short of tying you up, I won't be able to stop you. But I need you strong and healthy and Luke needs you, so promise me, promise me that at any sign of pain you will tell me and we will deal with it." Noah looked into Holden's eyes, "I promise, Holden. I need him too, you know." Holden moved closer to Noah and gave him a quick hug. He knew how important this man had become to his son, and to his entire family, and the thought of something happening to him again, made Holden's chest tighten.

They separated and began to board the plane. Holden looked over to see that Lucinda Walsh had been standing close by, "How long have you been standing there?" Lucinda smiled, "long enough darling, to see how much that boy means to you." She moved closer to him and tears began to flow from her eyes, something that was rare to see from Lucinda Walsh, "Holden, promise me, you'll bring them and yourselves back safely, no matter what you have to do." Lucinda Walsh was one of the toughest people Holden knew, it was rare to see her with tears flowing freely from her eyes. He could hear the underlying statement in her words, he knew that she would not think twice about removing Damian Grimaldi from their lives, he knew how much Lucinda's family meant to her, and he knew that if she could, she would be on that plane with them. Holden reached over and took her in his arms, "I promise. They'll be on this plane with us when we return. As for Damian, I promise that he will never hurt our family again." Lucinda held tightly to her ex-son in law. They pulled apart and both wiped tears from their eyes.

Lucinda straightened herself out, fixed her hair and became all business once more, "the man I hired will meet you at the airport once you land. He goes by the name Max, I don't know, nor do I care if that is his real name, but from what I have ascertained, through some very reputable people, he is the best at what he does. Holden he is worth every penny, if we get them back safe and sound." With that she turned and walked back towards her waiting car, the driver standing by the door awaiting her return. She turned once more towards Holden, "remember darling, remember your promise." With that she stepped into her car and was quickly driven away. Holden stood there for just a minute watching this woman who many have mistakenly underestimated, and felt nothing but love, and maybe a little fear.

Holden was brought out of his reverie by the door opening. He watched as Max and Antonio entered the tiny house. They each had a look on their faces that Holden had come to know

all too well, bad news was coming. He walked towards Noah and handed him the water and his pills. Noah had also looked up when he heard the door open. He was staring at the two

men, and Holden had to nudge him to get him to see what he was giving him. Noah took the pills and the water from Holden. Never once taking his eyes off the two men he put the pills

in his mouth and swallowed it down with the water. Noah was the first to speak, "what happened, why do you look like that?" He tried to keep the trembling fear out of his voice, and only

managed to whisper. Max and Antonio walked to the table Noah was sitting at, and for the first time Noah noticed that Antonio was holding a big envelope in his hands. He could feel the

lump in his throat as he tried to speak. Holden seeing what Noah was looking at asked the question Noah couldn't seem to get out of his mouth. "What's in the envelope?"

Antonio cleared his throat, he did not want to give them this news, but knew that he had to. They would have to know what Grimaldi had done to his own son. He looked at Noah and

Holden, seeing the terror in their eyes. How much more bad news would they be able to take, before they finally snap. He looked over at Max, who nodded, telling him to go on. Antonio

lifted the envelope and opened it. He reached inside and pulled out what seemed to be photographs, "as you know our contact inside has been in contact with Mrs. Grimaldi, I mean

Snyder." He corrected when noticing the hate glare from Holden. She didn't have news on Luke. "At the time she was working an early shift and was not able to see the young man. That is

until yesterday, when she asked for permission to switch with another girl that worked on the east wing. She said she had to take care of her elderly mother in the morning, and they believed

her. Max gave me a very small camera that could be hidden in her uniform. Maria was in the east wing when Luke was brought out of his room." Antonio stopped with those words, seeing the

questioning look on both men's faces.

Noah looked at Antonio and couldn't help but feel confused by the wording of his last sentence. He thought that maybe Antonio had just said the sentence wrong, since English wasn't

his first language. He wanted to make sure though that he did hear him right, "did you say, he was brought out of his room? What does that mean?" At that question Antonio placed the

photos in front of Noah and Holden, watching as their brains caught up with what they were looking at in the photograph. He watched as both men instantly reacted, Noah standing up

so fast from the chair that it fell to the ground behind him. He walked towards his cot and stood with his back to the others. Antonio could see the young man's shoulder shaking as he

cried silently.

Holden was still staring at the picture, hoping silently that he wasn't seeing what he knew was in that picture. The photograph he was staring at was of his son being pushed out of his

room in a wheelchair. Holden couldn't look away, as Antonio removed the first photo only to reveal another underneath. Luke was in a room with equipment in it and he was being picked

up by a mountain of a man out of his chair and placed on a bed. There were more photos of Luke with what could only be a therapist, as the man was lifting and bending Luke's legs in an

exercise routine Holden remembered well. Antonio cleared his throat, hating that he would have to show this good man this next photo. Holden looked up at him, "just show me."

Antonio lifted the photograph of Luke doing therapy, to reveal a photo of Damian Grimaldi standing by Luke's side holding his hand as Luke was put through some sort of strenuous

exercise, his face full of love and support for Luke. Holden could see the look of pain on Luke's face; it was a look he'd hope he'd never see again.

Antonio could see tears forming in the other man's eyes. He knew though how to help both men feel a bit better. "I am sorry I had to show those to you, but I want you to know that I also

have good news." Noah, had sat down on his cot, his elbows resting on his knees as he dug his palms into his eyes again, the headache making a comeback. At Antonio's words Noah

stood up and walked back to the table. Holden was staring at the last photograph with such hate filled eyes, that Noah couldn't help but look himself. He gasped as he saw Damian

holding Luke's hand while Luke was having physical therapy, "son of bitch, he's trying to get Luke to rely on him." Holden looked up to see Noah red rimmed eyes and tear stained face turn

to a face full of anger and hatred. He looked back at Max and Antonio. Max took two folded up papers from his pocket, he handed one to Holden and one to Noah. The men took the

sheets and opened them up.

Noah my love,

I am writing you this letter in hopes that I am not being tricked and that all my dreams of you are real. Damian told me that my memories of our life together are just my subconscious mind playing tricks on me due to the fact that I have been in a coma for 3 years. I am writing this letter to you now hoping that the woman who has been helping us is telling me the truth. I received a letter from my mom the other day, that told me exactly what Maria (that's the woman who's helping me) has told me. After my therapy session she was in my room cleaning. I knew she had been with my mother and was surprised to see her. I know that she is taking quite a risk in coming here to help my mom and me, but it is still really hard for me to believe that this isn't some hoax. I want to believe you are real, my love, but my mind is working against my heart. I need proof, so I will ask you something only my Noah would know. Our first kiss was in a specific room, and you were wearing something specific that led to this kiss. What were you wearing and what did you say to me when I asked you what was wrong? Please be real, I'm begging you to be all that I remember. Our love has to be strong in order to survive all that we have gone through, or at least all that I have dreamt we have gone through. Noah, bubby, I hope to see you again soon, so you can remind me personally of everything we are.

Love always and forever

Luke

Noah finished the letter and noticed that there were tear stains on the paper, his tear stains. He brought the note to his chest and held it tight. He looked over at Holden who it seemed

had been reading a letter from Lily. Noah could see his eyes glistening as he held back tears. They looked at each other and smiled. Noah turned and ran to his duffle, he pulled out a

pen and a pad and began to write.

Noah tore the sheet out of the notebook and handed it to Antonio, "please make sure he gets this. I need him to know." Antonio took Noah's letter and then looked over and saw that

Holden had a letter for Lily. He took both letters and stood up, "I promise I will find a way to get this to them." With that he left the two men staring at the door he had just left by. Noah

turned to Holden, "did Lily say if she's been in contact with Luke lately?" Holden looked at Noah and shortened the letter Lily had written, full of her love for him, and told him just the main

point he wanted to know about, "she said that she knows he visits, because he leaves her notes in their secret place. She said that Luke can't feel his legs, and Damian had told him that it was

due to the fact that the…." Noah knew what Holden was going to say, "the Colonel," he finished for him. Holden looked into the eyes of this wonderful young man and once again

wondered how he could have been raised by that monster, and not come out totally scarred physically as well as mentally. "yes, due to the fact that the Colonel shot him. She is aware that

he is doing therapy and is working hard at getting the use of his legs again. Other than that, the letter is asking us to be careful, but to hurry." He smiled at that last sentence, only Lily could

give and order and still tell you to be careful while you are carrying those orders out.

Next Day – Grimaldi Compound 8am

Luke laid on his bed thinking back to the day before when he had come back from his therapy session to find the same maid that had been in her mother's room in his. He could see that

she was doing 'busy work' so that the hulk who had brought him in wouldn't notice her. The hulk lifted Luke from his chair, and Luke could almost swear that he was enjoying lifting Luke

up in his arms. The predatory look in his eyes made Luke's blood run cold. He knew this man wouldn't do anything while he was in Damian's employment, but Luke didn't feel right about

the way his hands lingered on his back when he placed him on his bed, or how he came partially down onto the bed with Luke when he placed him on it.

A loud crashing noise came from the other side of the room which made the giant let go of Luke and look at the young servant woman. Luke had learned enough Italian to understand

that he was angry that she had broken a vase. He thought though that he was angry that she had interrupted his moment with Luke, and he thanked whatever greater deity there was

for her clumsiness. The young woman got on her hands and knees and began to clean the broken glass. Luke could see that the hulk was going to go grab her and he decided at that

moment that maybe for once he could become a Grimaldi, "touch her and I will have your head." Luke used his best Betty Davis impersonation, thanking Noah for his love of old movies. In

his mind he envisioned the great lady as Queen Elizabeth and decided to try his hand at being Royalty.

The hulk stopped mid step, but then turned to go towards the maid again, "do you really want to test me? I will inform my father that you cannot follow orders, and that you do not know how

to do your job. I will also tell him that I want you gone." He stared into the eyes of the man and hoped that he was pulling off the Griamaldi sense righteousness, "and don't think he won't

listen to me, because you know as well as I do that my father wants to make me happy, and if that means that you will never be seen again, then so be it. GET OUT!" Luke pointed to the door

never taking his eyes of the man who could crush him with one hand. He knew that if this man wanted to he could do whatever it was that was going around in his head when he stared

at Luke, and it made his skin crawl. The man turned and walked out the door, and Luke let out the breath he didn't realize he was holding. He fell back against the pillows and began to

shake. All of a sudden he felt a soft hand on his shoulder. The young maid had gotten up of the floor and had walked to Luke's bed. She was nervously looking from Luke to the door,

"Signor, I can take letter." Luke could see she was struggling with her English, he was about to ask her what she meant when she handed him a notebook and a pen. "You're Noah,… he

want hear from you. Know you okay." That's when Luke finally understood. He looked at her and wanted to grab the woman and hug her, but knew by the way she kept looking at the

door that he only had minutes. He wrote the letter, that he knew if this was a trick there would be no answer to his questions. But in his heart he hoped and prayed that this was real,

and that he would see the man he loved more than anything in this world was coming for him.

It had been a full day since he wrote the letter. He prayed that Maria had not been discovered and that she would return with his answer. Luke pushed himself into a sitting position and

stared at the door as if magically she would appear through it. He knew he was being foolish, but he was never known for being patient. Just as he was beginning to give up, the door

opened and Maria stepped through, holding fresh linen in her arms. The hulk stood in the room a few minutes, then caught Luke's angry look and walked away. Maria put down the linen

and almost ran to Luke's bedside. She pulled a folded piece of paper from between her apron and her uniform, hidden very well in the crease of the waist band. Luke opened it with

trembling hands.

Luke,

The day I kissed you for the first time was historic for me. It was the first time I ever wore Windsor. I was being an ass to you that day, yet you still found it in your heart to come and bring me lunch, you even apologized for an argument we had been having earlier that afternoon, even though you hadn't done anything wrong. I was in an office at WOAK stressing about the fact that I was running late to meet with my father for lunch and you offered to bring me a tie. I was so nervous that I would probably have strangled myself had you not volunteered to help me. I remember feeling the heat from your hands through my dress shirt, and the feeling of your skin against my neck as your fingers brushed up against the side of my face. All I could think was how beautiful you were and how much I wanted to taste your lips. You looked up at me when you noticed that I was staring at your mouth. You asked me what was wrong, and I said "nothing," then I came down to your mouth and kissed you. You backed away quickly, being you, giving me a chance to back out of what I was doing. But when I pressed forward again, you met me and I can honestly say that I was in heaven for the short time our kiss lasted. It felt so right to kiss you, it felt so good I never wanted it to stop. Unfortunately I was the biggest ass this world has ever seen and I hurt you. I know that Damian has told you all sorts of lies, but I want you to know that I've loved you since the moment I met you. Luke I never told you this, but the day you dropped the tapes and our hands met, I felt it too. I love you so much Luke, you are now and always will be worth the wait. We will get you and your mom out of there, and I will spend the rest of my life showing you how much I love you. Whatever Damian has done to you, I will find a way to help you through it, if you will let me. Don't give up, I know you can beat him.

Love always

Your Noah

Luke could feel the tears coming down in face. They weren't tears of pain or heartache, they were tears of joy. He couldn't help but smile at Maria who was looking at him with concern

on her face, "Signor, are you well…" Luke laughed he reached out and grabbed Maria and brought her into a hug, "thank you, thank you….I am very well. Maria, you have just saved my life,

and when this is over I will find a way to help you in whatever way I can." He could feel Maria's tears wetting his shirt, but he didn't care. They held on to each other for just a minute, afraid

of who may walk in. Luke took the letter and hid it underneath his nightstand drawer, so he could reach it again, and read it as often as he wanted to. Maria finished what she had come

to do and left, with a promise that she would tell his mother how he was doing.

Later that afternoon

After an excruciating therapy session, Luke was ready to go to bed. He still didn't like the Hulk and was sure that he would have to keep a close eye on him. This time when he brought

him to his room, he lifted Luke out of the chair, and just held him against his body for a few minutes. Luke struggled against the vice arms, "put me down, NOW! I won't tell you again."

Hulk smiled and began to place Luke down on his bed, then he did something Luke would not have thought he would dare, he cupped Luke's face in his giant beefy hand and stroked

Luke's cheek. Luke was about to scream for help, when said hand clamped down on his mouth, and Hulk came even closer to Luke's face, "you scream or tell anyone, and I will make sure

your little maid friend isn't well enough to come visit you. Do you understand?"

Luke's eyes widened and breathing through his nose was becoming extremely hard, so he nodded. The giant removed his hand from Luke's mouth and replaced it with his own mouth.

Luke fought against those cold hard lips and felt as though they were going to break his teeth to get him to open his mouth. Just as soon as the assault began it ended and Luke was

left staring up at this man who was smiling and licking his lips. Luke could feel his lips swollen and bruised and knew that the inside of his bottom lip was cut. The Hulk went to touch

Luke again, and Luke tried his best to move away, but couldn't get far, "now little Grimaldi, we have an understanding, so if you tell anyone, you know what will happen to your friend. She has

such a pretty face; I would hate to have to damage it." Luke could feel his anger boiling, "you touch her, and I will personally make it my mission to kill you myself." Hulk laughed

and turned around and left Luke alone, shaking and screaming into his pillows, "Noah… God Noah… please hurry. I don't know how much longer I'll last."