Hey guys! A massive thank you to the wonderfully avid readers and reviewers for My Unexpected Bad Habit so far; keep it coming! SO MUCH LOVE TO YOU!!

Errr, I feel I should illicit a warning: this next chapter contains almost unbearable HAWTness. I got extremely hot under the collar simply from writing this chapter... I've literally just finished it and I'm going to re-read it again in a minute... _ God I would love to see this in an episode...

I expect MASS reviews for this, by the way! :-P

As I always say, onto the next! Enjoy.

Chapter Twelve - Naughty Girl

JD POV

"I tripped."

Zoom zoom zoom! I was tempted to do the hand-movement along with it, but somehow managed to withhold from doing so - now was not the time. Dr. Cox was looking at me with a very strange look in his eyes, one I'd never seen before, and I was hoping against hope that he'd accept what I said and not hit me -

Very slowly, he lifted his hands up - I tried not to flinch - and very carefully placed them either side of my head, palms on my skin, fingers on… in… my hair. I didn't know if it was supposed to be intimate or of it was just a way of keeping his own head together, but it felt intimate. Intimate in a way that made my stomach do gymnastics I had once been capable of doing myself. I swallowed hard as his eyes, unforgiving but somehow soft, bore into mine. His head was at a distance that made me aware that he wasn't going to kiss me, which was somewhat of a relief - and a slight disappointment, it would have at least reassured me that he wasn't about to head butt me - but that left me wondering what he was doing. He was putting a fair amount of pressure onto me, physically AND emotionally it seemed, and the fleeting worry that he was going to try and crush my skull entered my head at an alarming speed. I tried, again, not to flinch.

He finally spoke.

"Newbie… you are driving me insane."

My mouth opened slightly, not dissimilar to a fish.

"This can't happen. I don't have those feelings for you. I don't kiss men, I don't kiss anybody whilst I'm with Jordan, and I certainly don't kiss people who have to follow my orders day in day out."

I thought briefly about making a joke about Jordan being a dominatrix, but for my own safety, I pressed my lips together. His eyes drifted to them for a moment, the movement distracting him for a moment, before he grinned and shook his head slowly from side to side, as if he couldn't quite believe something. I stayed silent. I was too busy replaying what he had said, going over the 'I don't have those feelings for you' part. I didn't have those feelings for him. Did I? I suddenly had an awful feeling that I was being incredibly ignorant, as I always did when it was staring me right in the face.

"I've enjoyed the new tension recently, kid, I have… I'd be lying if I said otherwise. I am, as you are blatantly aware - particularly after Carla informed you of some things from my past that I'd rather she hadn't - never one to say no to a power game or two. You, being feminine, pathetic and emotional were perfect for the part - it just so happened that you are male, and that does add a few… complications to the mix. I didn't really think it through - though it doesn't take a rocket scientist to work that one out."

I allowed myself to speak. "So I was right? This is just… just Cat and Mouse to you?"

He shrugged, as if he didn't really care either way - but I couldn't help but notice his hands were still holding my head there, still on my skin and in my hair. My stomach did gymnastics again. Yep, that ignorance theory was starting to look pretty damned accurate.

"This can't keep happening, Newbie. You know that."

"But… I didn't mean to -"

He snorted. "You didn't trip, so don't even try it."

I shook my head, his hands moving with it - I tried to ignore the way that his skin slightly brushed on mine.

"I know I didn't, I meant to kiss you, but -"

His eyes instantly changed; they went dark, hazy, almost challenging - I swallowed hard again. What had I done wrong? Was he mad at me again?

"Why?"

I blinked. "P-pardon?"

"Why did you… kiss me?" He didn't sound as if he were asking such a question; his tone sounded more like he were asking the time or what the score to some sort of sports match was, casual, not-too-curious - how was he so calm?! When I had asked him essentially the same question, my voice had trembled so much it sounded as if I were doing the Riverdance at the same time…

"Because… well, because…" I stopped. Why did I? It wasn't as if I didn't have time to think about it before I threw myself on him - I had deliberately made it a slow process, so that he had time to pull away. It was that, the realisation of how deliberate it was, that gave me the answer. "Because I wanted to know if it was what I wanted to do."

"And?"

I gulped, for the third time in about five minutes.

"I… I don't know."

He raised an eyebrow. "Well you're not gay, are you?"

I shook my head.

"Well then. There's your answer." He pulled his hands away, standing with his arms across his chest - the typical Cox Defence pose. The room felt colder. "Better?"

All I could do was shrug.

"There we go, all sorted. Now if it's all right with you, Loretta, I'm going to head on home. We can do the rest of this tomorrow."

I nodded, feeling stupid. What had just happened? "Sure."

He nodded. "Night then."

Watching him leave the room left a strange humming in the back of my mind; regret? Disappointment? Knowing that all I knew right now was that I was confused as hell? All three?

"Stupid stupidness," I muttered to myself as I leant over to pick up my bag and jacket, slinging both over my shoulder and switching the light off as I left the room. Back to the apartment to yet again question everything.

Carla POV

I knew Bambi well enough to know that when he got home, he was exhausted, confused and probably tearful; I stood up, folding my arms and looking at him with what I hoped were sympathetic eyes. "Well?"

He looked at me for a few moments, trying to process the question. "Umm… well what?"

I sighed. "What happened, Bambi? One second Dr. Cox hates you and the next you're working extra hours with him after work? I was really worried about you last night!"

Rubbing his hands over his face, he wandered over to me, standing opposite me, close enough that I could see just how tired he was. "I don't know, Carla, he just… changed his mind. I went to see him after the hospital last night -"

"You did what?!"

I didn't mean to shout, but anyone who knows Dr. Cox like I do - no, anyone that's met him for two seconds knows that if he tells you stay away, he means it. I reached out and took his hands in mine. "JD, what's this about? He tells you to never look at him again you seek him out? I swear, one of these days he's actually going to murder you."

"I thought he was going to," he said with a tired half-smile, "but in the end it turns out he wanted things back to normal just like I did. So we are. Back to normal."

Nuh uh, I disagreed silently, looking into his eyes and seeing the truth for what it was - or at least, some of it. Something else had happened, and even though I didn't quite know what that was I knew that there was a big change going on in their lives. A little bubble of excitement burst in my stomach as I thought of the possibilities, of the amount of gossiping Elliot and I had to do -

"Why are you looking like that?" he interrupted my thought processes warily, stepping back slightly. "You have that scary look in your eyes, the same one you had before you took Rowdy to get cleaned!"

I suppressed the slight guilt that welled up over that (they still weren't aware of Steven being an impostor) but simply shrugged and offered a vaguely innocent smile. "No reason! Now," I said in a business-like manner, trying to distract him. "Have you had anything to eat yet? I made fajita's earlier and there's two on the counter if you want them."

JD smiled gratefully. "Thanks Carla. I'll just take them in my bedroom and eat them there."

For a few seconds I battled with myself - clearly there was something on his mind, hence him wanting to escape from people, and I desperately wanted to know what it was… but eventually I made the right decision. I nodded, bidding him goodnight as he wandered off into his room with the plate. I waited until his door closed before I leapt over to the phone, excitement fizzing as I dialled Elliot's number.

"It's a code 69!"

Elliot squealed slightly - I moved the phone away from my ear. "He finally admitted he likes Dr. Cox?!"

"Yeah right," I snorted, curling my legs up under me and settling down for a long talk. "But JD just came in and…"

X X X X X

Turk's POV

I scrunched up my face.

"A gay bar? Baby, that's kind of… gay."

Carla frowned slightly and pouted - damn you, foxy Latina woman! She was so damned sexy and cute at the same time, even when she was cooking up some sorta plan that I didn't really wanna be a part of.

"Turk, come on… I never ask you to do anything -"

"This morning you asked me to pluck your eyebrows for you."

She pouted a little more. "My hands were all shaky."

"That's 'cos you're cooking up something bad, woman!" I folded my arms. "Look, baby, I know that you're just trying to help JD and whatnot, but somehow I don't think dragging him to a gay bar is going to help - and I'm not just talking about him! You think Dr. Cox is going to willingly agree to go with you?"

She smiled that smug little smile that clearly said 'all taken care of'. I did my own pout. "C'mon baby, don't make me go!"

Without warning, she leaned in and pressed herself up against me. I felt the realisation dawn that whatever she was about to say would probably convince me that I should go to the gay bar, but I waited to hear what she had to say. Not that I needed to. Her hands that had started to wander had already pretty much made up my mind.

"If you go I'll make out with Elliot when she's drunk, and then when we come home I'll talk dirty to you in Spanish and -"

"FINE! Fine, I'll go," I grumbled, pulling her close to me and kissing her softly. Suddenly what she'd said hit me - when we come home? "Hang on… are you moving back in?" I didn't miss the hesitation in her eyes; I was slowly realising just how close I'd come to pushing her away just for one stupid mistake. "Baby, you don't have to."

She shook her head, big brown eyes looking at me with an intensity that both scared me and filled me with hope. "No, I want to. I'm not saying it'll be easy, but… I want to try."

I reached down and laced my fingers with hers, kissing each fingertip before looking her deep in the eyes. "You know I love you, right?"

"Yeah, I know. I love you too."

We stayed that way for a few minutes, close and linked - until I realised there was one thing left to do. "Let me guess, I have to convince JD?"

She twirled a curl of hair around her finger. Damn. Said it all.

"Okay, but if he says no -"

"He won't. He might need a bit of convincing, but he won't say no. Just tell him drinks are on me and Elliot and that he can have as much to drink as he wants. Besides, it's last minute - he'll panic and end up saying yes."

My woman was smart. "Ooookaaaay," I sighed, rubbing my forehead up against hers. "When he finishes his shift I'll pounce on him. Not literally," I hastened to add, already in defensive 'I'm straight, y'know what I'm SAYIN'?' mode. She smiled and kissed me again, before disentangling herself from me and walking away, doing that special hip movement that she knows drives me crazy. Still, the craziness was worth it - my baby was coming back to me.

X X X X X

JD POV

I'd be lying if I said it took more than two attempts to convince me to go to the bar with Carla, Turk and Elliot - I'd recently bought a white shirt that Turk instantly deemed too see-through (barely, you can't even see the nipples!) and fitted to be 'straight outerwear'. I'd been dying for a chance to try it out, and figured where better than a gay bar? I didn't particularly mind if guys played for me (though I found it odd how the thought of it still made me flinch a little, considering the last few 'meetings' with Dr. Cox), and everybody knows that gays play the best music.

"Do you think I should wear eyeliner?"

The expression on Turk's face said it all, but I think he was already horrified by the fact that I was wearing The Gay Shirt - ah, he'd come around. I'd teamed it up with dark denim trousers that I thought went well with it, and now I was trying to accessorise. I was battling with myself whether to wear a plain silver chain or whether to go for a beaded thing I'd recently bought from a strange lady at the market, which I thought was quite nice but that Turk had deemed was 'gay as the day is long'… so I went with the chain. Behind me he sighed, flopping back onto my head. He'd gone for his usual t-shirt and jeans, and had no idea why I was trying so hard.

"Dude, if you wear eyeliner I'm not walking in there with you."

"What if you wear eyeliner as well?"

A voice called out from the living room. "Good idea, JD! Baby, let me put some eyeliner on you, it'll look good!"

Turk sat up straight, eyes widening in horror. "Don't you touch me, woman!"

She stood in the doorway, slipping on earrings. "I'm not asking, Turk, I'm telling."

I grinned; I'd like to see her try.

"Okay, well… if you can catch me, I'll let you put some on!"

The last thing I saw before Carla and Elliot tackled him to the ground was a brown blur, racing towards the bathroom and freedom.

X X X X X

When we finally got to the bar (though it turned out to be more of a club), Turk was wearing eyeliner and I was feeling nervous. The people queuing around us seemed relaxed and perfectly at ease in their surroundings, not to mention quite happy to stand and ogle at us - or more accurately, me. I could barely believe it, but for the first time ever, I was getting more attention than all three of the others - true, they were all men rather than women, but the point was that there were many eyes now directed at me. Carla seemed to notice, nudging me with her shoulder none-too-discreetly and jerking her head in the direction of the attention but I simply flushed red and directed my eyes towards the floor.

I wasn't gay. That much I knew.

"C'mon JD," Elliot said, flicking her hair over her shoulder and pouting slightly at the bouncers on the door - oh god, she was playing up to it! The bouncers barely gave her a second glance, sending her straight in without checking her for anything; then again, she was a small, slender blonde girl from Connecticut and didn't exactly pose as a threat. They patted me up and down and sent me in, leaving me slightly concerned as I was faced with two decisions; either I go out on the main floor, or go up some metal stairs leading to the next level. I panicked, looking for Elliot.

"Bambi, the upstairs is the Lesbian floor," Carla said from behind me, taking me arm and leading me through the double doors into a main area that had a huge dance floor, a wrap-around bar and a cushy little seating area in the right-hand corner. Already I could see men kissing each other - I blushed again and allowed Carla to lead me to the bar. "I think some tequila is in order!"

My nose wrinkled in distaste; tequila? I hated tequila. Couldn't I just have an Appletini?

"You can have an Appletini after you've had three shots," Carla's voice was now by my right ear, practically shouting over the music. "That, or you can drink water for the rest of the night. Your choice!"

Damn it. "I'll have a water then."

Her eyes shot daggers at me. "You'll drink your tequila and like it, Bambi! Drink up!"

I rolled my eyes, taking the salt and shot she passed me, licking the salt before throwing the shot down my throat. My stomach instantly tried to get rid of it, and in a desperate attempt to keep it down I grabbed the lemon she was now holding and bit into it - hard.

I shuddered.

"Dude, man up," Turk said, standing with his chest puffed out and looking warily around him at all of the men now standing close to each other; to be fair, other than a few blatantly gay guys most of them looked like your bog-standard straight guy - I relaxed slightly, taking the next shot Carla passed me - this time Sambuca - and knocking it back. Yuckia!

"One more and you can have all the Appletini's you want!" Elliot screamed into my left ear, making me flinch and nearly fall into someone behind me - they reached out to steady me - I turned, finding myself looking into a pair of dark brown eyes.

"Watch yourself there!" he said, grinning at me. He was short, tanned and had spiked hair - similar to mine, but blonde - and blatantly gay. It wasn't so much that he was camp, more that the neon green top that he was wearing and his too-tight jeans were a dead giveaway. I grinned back, already feeling the effects of the two shots (Cox would be disappointed in me) and felt a rush of love for my saviour.

"Sorry!" I shouted, blindly accepting one more shot (mmm, Apple Sourz) and tipping it back before looking at him again, feeling flushed once more. He grinned again, opening his mouth to start a conversation that I wasn't sure I could handle - until I felt a hand grip my wrist. Suddenly Turk stood beside me, glaring at the guy in full, eye-liner-ed glory.

"Hey, dude, stop crushing on my man." He wrapped his arm around me and dragged me away - once we were at the edge of the dance floor, I looked at him in surprise.

"Why -"

"Anyone could tell he was about to make a move on you - just looking out for you, man," he intercepted, looking slightly uncomfortable. I could tell just how much pride that took out of him to do that, so I clapped him on the back as hard as I could and grinned crazily. He nodded, motioning towards the dance floor where Elliot and Carla were already dancing with a group of guys, Elliot fitting in seamlessly with the camp crowd and Carla beckoning Turk and I to join them - we slid through the heavy throng of people and started dancing, he up against Carla in a bid to prove his heterosexuality and me with Elliot. It was strange, but I was starting to realise how different things were - and just how attracted to her I wasn't.

It was both freeing and terrifying at the same time.

We danced for what felt like hours, taking breaks every now and again to get more drinks - I was on my fifth Appletini and knowing I was well on my way to drunk, enjoying myself immensely. I'd chatted with some of the guys here, and all of them were nicer than anyone I'd met in years; they were all genuinely interested in me and what I had to say, ridiculously impressed when I told them I was a doctor - a few suggested a physical at the end of the night, but at those moments one of the other three would yank me away to another part of the dance floor. It was starting to annoy me… I could handle myself! I hadn't failed to notice how protective they were being, particularly Carla and Elliot, and I knew at some point I would drunkenly snap and yell at them for being such fuddy-duddies.

I met with the guy in the tight neon-green t-shirt again - Aaron, he told me his name was - and we started chatting by the seated area in the corner. We soon found out that we lived quite close to each other, that he had gone to the same college as me and that he was, like me, single. I gradually began to find myself intrigued by what he had to say, leaning forward to listen as he told me about his first gay experience (I had heard many of these stories already, but he had just admitted that he wasn't quite out of the closet completely yet) and, for whatever reason, I wanted to hear more.

"When I eventually kissed Luke for the first time, it was like… fireworks. All I could think of for days afterwards was that kiss, and though it confused me a little I knew I just had to do it again."

Alarm bells started to ring.

"It's not like I'd ever considered getting with guys before, I'd always focused my attentions on girls, but found that no matter who I got with, it never quite worked out how I wanted it to. It was a scary time."

I hesitated. "When you first kissed Luke… did you know straight away that you were gay?"

He laughed, his eyes sparkling in the flashing lights around us. "Naw, not really. I mean, I wondered, but I was in denial for a while."

"So… do you know it for certain now?"

It was his turn to hesitate. "I'm not saying I'm sure, but after a while it sort of becomes inevitable. You like a guy, therefore you're gay. Or bisexual. Whichever."

For a couple of moments we sat in silence, his eyes on me and mine on the table, trying to sift through my drunken musings. I wasn't sure what I was thinking, but I was disturbed regardless. He smiled a little.

"You look thoughtful. What are you thinking?"

I looked up and met his eyes; they were intense.

"I'm not gay."

Aaron laughed again, louder and heartier than before - it made me laugh a little too, before I became curious as to why he had laughed at me. I asked as much.

"I know you're not gay, don't worry. I just think it's cute that you feel the need to make it known. In a gay club."

I shifted uncomfortably. "I just didn't want… I don't want people to think -"

"Look, Johnny," (I had drunkenly called myself this, deciding it was my gay alias), "I'm not going to make a move on you. Unless you want me to."

Time to feel nervous again. "I, err… I don't know. I'm drunk."

That grin again. It made me feel warm inside. "Then maybe now's the time to experiment. That way you don't have to remember me in the morning."

I stared at him; was this what I needed? To not be blinded by my confusion in relation to Dr. Cox and to just kiss another guy, a nice guy at that, to see if I liked it? I started to shake my head, before I changed it to a nod. "Okay, kiss me. But do it quick before I change my mind."

He didn't waver; he leant forward and pressed his lips against mine, the taste of JD and coke on his lips, the warmth of his tongue slipping over mine - I tried to absorb the moment, but found myself strangely detached. I kissed him back, half-hearted, unsure, feeling my body leaning away ever so slightly at it… no, this wasn't right. It was nice, as kisses are, and his lips were surprisingly soft - oh, I'd keep it going a little while longer, I might change my mind -

Suddenly I was being yanked up from my chair roughly, knocking over my Appletini and causing the drunk annoyance at my friends' over-protectiveness break open I whirled around to yell at whoever it was, but failed to speak - the breath left my lungs, leaving me stranded with just a whisper on my lips..

Dr. Cox stood facing me, eyes cold and hard as he looked at me.

For what felt like minutes we glared at each other, my head spinning, his staying exactly where it was, but as quickly as he had arrived, his eyes snapped over to Aaron, who somehow didn't look surprised. He smiled a lazy smile; Dr. Cox didn't smile back.

"Fair play," Aaron said, confusingly to me, and shrugged. "I figured as much anyway."

I tried to stammer an apology, tried to decipher what was happening, but Dr. Cox simply took my arm and dragged me away, over to the dance floor before looking down at me with daggers in his eyes. I flinched. I'd done a lot of that recently.

"What the hell were you letting him do, Newbie? Do you know him?"

I blinked. "No, I -"

"Are you entirely empty-headed? He could've slipped something into your drink or followed you home or… well, god knows what else. Grow a pair, JD, and then take them back to your friends so they can keep an eye on you. Jesus."

What?!

"But… what are you doing here?"

He frowned. "That's not important."

Suddenly, somehow, it clicked. My drunken tongue managed to form the words, "Did Carla tell you to come here?"

He nodded once, sharply.

"Why did you… you're actually here though?"

"Wonderful observation skills. Knew you had to be a doctor for a reason."

I gave up. I couldn't be bothered with this. I came here to have fun, and I would do - plus, all the constant arguing with Dr. Cox was exhausting. "Well, I don't need protecting. If that's why you're here, if that's what she told you to do, then you should just go. I don't want to be watched and spied on, everyone constantly thinking I can't handle myself."

I turned to leave, but he grabbed my arm and pulled me back; it hurt.

"Why did you tell me you weren't gay?"

My mouth fell open. "Because I'm not."

His ice-blue eyes flashed. "Your tonsils says otherwise. Make up your goddamned mind Newbie, before I make it up for you."

With that, he stormed off - leaving, no doubt. I stared after him, him in a black shirt and jeans, the man who had sounded a little like he was jealous.

Was Dr. Cox jealous?!

"Fuck you," I muttered under my breath, the alcohol and distance from him making me feel braver than when he had been directly opposite me. I threaded my way through the crowd, stopping only when I saw Carla waving at me, looking angry. I sighed.

She began as soon as I reached her side. "Did you just tell Dr. Cox to leave?"

I gave the affirmative. She grabbed me by the arms and shook me.

"Do you KNOW how long it took me to convince him to come? Do you know how lucky you were that he even stepped in these doors?!"

"Well do you know that I don't need you and him protecting me? I'm sick of it, Carla, I'm not a child!"

Her eyes widened. "You think Dr. Cox was here to protect you? Are you… are you completely BLIND, Bambi?" I shook my head, trying to process what she was saying. "Dr. Cox was here because I told him you wanted him here. He put up a fight, sure, but the fact that he actually gave in… doesn't that tell you something?"

"That he wants to make my life continuously difficult until I feel the need to cut off my own head?"

"For the love of god… HE WANTS YOU!" Time for the fish-mouth again; I was wordless. Was she stupid? He wasn't interested. Neither was I! I felt I needed to make this point clear.

"Well even if that's true, Carla, I don't want him."

"Yes you do."

"No I don't!"

"You do JD, why can't you see it?! Everyone else can!"

I shook my head, frustrated at how hard it was for me to absorb her words. "I don't, I'm straight, he's like a father to me -"

"Okay then, answer me this then, yes or no - have you or have you not kissed him in the last week?"

No, no, no, how does she know this?! She's a witch!

"…I…"

She nodded, triumphant. "I thought so."

"But how do you think so? How did that thought even cross your mind?! It didn't cross mine, I didn't think that in the space of a week we would've kissed twice -"

"YOU KISSED DR. COX TWICE?!"

Elliot's voice was piercing and painful, yet somehow she was metres away rather than right next to me… god that woman could scream… I half nodded, half shook my head. I didn't want them to know, didn't want them to blow it out of proportion, it was my secret, mine and his, for me to store away in a little box in the back of my head -

"I give up on you, Bambi. You just sent him away when he came here for you. I tried to help and you just won't hear it - I give up, I truly do. Come on Elliot," she said, grabbing Elliot's hand and looking at me with a strange finality glowing in her eyes. It made me feel like a disappointment, something I didn't handle well. "Let's go to the Lesbian floor."

"Hell YEAH!" Elliot screeched, running towards the stairs and dragging Carla with her, leaving me standing on my own, drowning in my own self-pity. I vaguely acknowledged Turk following them stealthily, vaguely felt the press of bodies as I was nudged onto the dance floor, vaguely felt myself start to dance - everything was fuzzy, overwhelming, upsetting - I didn't like it. I wanted to go home. I wanted to go to sleep. More than anything, I wanted to see him.

The music changed; 'Naughty Girl' by Beyonce flooded through the speakers, the gay men beginning to thrust and wiggle around me - I imitated them, wiggling my wonderful mutton-like tush, blushing as a group of men grouped around me and made me the centre of their attention. I loved this song, and suddenly I lost my moodiness and my inhibitions and threw myself into enjoying myself. Someone behind me grabbed my hips and started grinding lightly up against me - it was weird, wrong and scary to dance this way with a stranger but it was invigorating, made me feel dangerous and naughty - much like the song. I drunkenly decided it would be my Gay Anthem.

I didn't know what it was, but a feeling swept over me, making the hairs on my back of my neck stand up - I forced myself to focus on something, anything, and found my eyes clapping themselves on a face in the crowd, one that was stationary and watchful. One that I recognised instantly. The hairs on my arms stood up.

Slowly, so slowly that I could feel my senses heighten with each step, he started to slip through the crowds towards me, his eyes never leaving me. Somehow I managed to keep dancing despite wanting to run, my awareness expanding as he got closer - and there he was, right opposite me, right near me, staring at me as if he couldn't quite recognise my face.

But then it wasn't my face he was looking at.

As the song continued to play, his eyes slowly, intensely moved down my body, taking in the way I was moving, taking in what I was wearing… they moved back up, fixing once again on my eyes. The look was one I didn't recognise. It scared me. Terrified me.

Thrilled me.

I stopped dancing; the song was some sort of a dance mix, going on for longer than usual, and suddenly as I heard the words; Naughty Girl', I felt blood pool to my cheeks, wondering if that's how he saw me right now, wondering what he was actually seeing and thinking. He moved closer, closer, closer until I could smell him and feel him, that body-heat taking my breath away and making me feel all too aware of him close to me. His hands, his strong hands that had held me more times in the last two weeks than ever before reached out and lightly placed themselves on my hips; it send an electric jolt through me, the tiniest of breaths slipping through my lips, the last of the oxygen he had left me with.

I felt my body start to crumple into itself, but before it had a chance to, he had pulled me until I was flat against him, torso to foot, and all the bits in-between… I gasped again, taking in a deep breath of the air I so desperately needed and forcing my eyes to flick up to meet his gaze. There it was, the only word to describe his usual ice-cold stare… heated.

Dr. Cox stared at me with burning eyes.

"Thank you," I whispered. I knew he couldn't hear me, but he lip-read - he fixated his look on my lips and their movement, before dragging them back up to meet my confusion head on. He stared for a few instants, waiting until I was desperate before he leant forward until his lips were at my ear -

"This is what you want, isn't it, JD?"

The harsh heat from his whisper, the feel of his lips brushing my earlobe ever so slightly, and more than anything the way he said my name hit me in a spark more akin to lightening than static electricity, causing the breath to leave me again, this time with a slight, well, moan, escaping, in such a position that surely he couldn't have missed it… he pulled away but kept my body close, his face oh-so-close to mine. Dr. Cox's eyes never left me for a second.

I had to answer.

"…yes."

Again, a whisper, but with an edge of desperation to it - suddenly the blood left my cheeks and everywhere else and swept to an area very much pressed against him. There was no denying it this time, no reason behind it other than what was right in front of me - I had a hard-on, and it was rubbing against him as clear as anything. I gulped, waiting for his reaction. This would decide the next few minutes, hours, who knew how long -

His lips turned up slightly in a very small, very intense smile; he shifted against me slightly until I, shockingly, overwhelmingly felt something hard - and, I could hardly fail to notice, huge - move against me, over me, over where surely all the blood in my body was right this second… my mouth fell open, finding it suddenly difficult to breathe. He leant forward again, whispering directly into my ear.

"You feel that? You feel me on you? You feel -" he moved his hips closer, increasing the pressure, " - how good I feel on you?"

I could only nod, my cheek brushing slightly against his. I felt dizzy. He whispered once more.

"You've made me so hard I could explode. All over you. Right now."

I drew in a ragged breath but it wasn't enough; I drew in another but still felt dizzy - I pulled away from his lips, focusing my eyes on his face, making sure this was real, that he was real - yes, those were his eyes burning into mine, those were his hands tightly grasping my hips, that was his erection grinding ever so lightly up against mine - I was going to lose it, lose my head, lose my sanity, right there and then. It was too much.

He leant forward, this time capturing my lips with his, slow and devastatingly sexual as he moved them over mine, his eyes almost completely closed - my head cleared slightly but as he said the next words, said them as his lips were on mine, his breath mingling with mine, I felt myself lose grip completely -

"I want to make you come."

Seconds after -

"I'm going to make you come."

I wanted to argue with him, tell him that neither of us were gay, that neither of us really wanted this - but I did. My head was screaming at me to stop but I was beyond reason - all I knew was him against me, his lips on mine, his erection rubbing on mine, how turned on he was making me… I couldn't reason with him. I didn't want to. I wanted him to do this.

'Dip It Low' by Christina Milian began to play, the beat sexy, our hips moving together more fluidly - it wasn't flamboyant, nor obvious, but I felt it. I felt his left hand start to move, slipping forward, brushing ever closer to the rise in my jeans until finally he cupped it, lightly - I couldn't help it, a tiny groan escaped my lips… his lips went up at the corners slightly again. His fingers wrapped around the shape of me, my hips jolting forwards at the new pressure - my eyes went down to look at what he was doing but his other than lifted my chin so that I was looking in his eyes once more. I didn't need to see him lean forward to know what he was going to say.

"I want you to look at me. I want you to know it's me, Newbie, want you to know that it's my hand that's sliding down the waistband of your underwear -"

His hand slid up and slid his hand underneath my shirt, his palm momentarily connecting with the hot skin of my stomach before sliding down and into the waistband of my underwear, as promised… he brushed his thumb over the tip of my penis - oh god, don't lose it yet -

"- want you to know that it's my hand wrapping around your erection -"

Achingly slow, his hand moved lower and his fingers curled themselves around me, warm and strong - I groaned again, biting my lip and leaning my forehead on his shoulder, trying to keep it together whilst he touched me -

"- want you to know that it's me fucking you with my hand until you can't hold it any longer."

He moved away from my ear slowly, me lifting my head so I could meet his eyes, eyes that were on fire, eyes that made it even harder to keep myself from coming so soon… I was more turned on than I had ever been in my life, hardly aware of the bodies dancing around us, only knowing what was happening to me at that second with the man that had plagued my thoughts for longer than any girl. He slowly moved his hand up and down, grasping me lightly and tauntingly as he moved it, eliciting from me moans so guttural I didn't recognise my own pleasure… it was better, better, better than anything I'd ever felt before, he was moving faster and his thumb kept teasingly passing over the tip of me and I knew I was going to lose it soon, I just didn't want to so quickly -

His lips on my ear again.

"Come, JD. Come all over my hand right now. Now. NOW."

With one final, star-spitting moan, closer to a cry than a gasp I exploded; I had never come so hard in my life, feeling him slow his movements, feeling his right arm wrap around my waist and keep me from falling, felt his forehead come into contact with mine, our sweat mingling and his breath on my lips as I drew in ragged, shallow breaths, head spinning. I barely noticed him slipping his hands from my underwear, hardly noticed how no one stopped dancing, hardly noticed anything -

All I could feel was his arms wrap around my waist and pull me close, closer than ever before, and hold me as I began to sob, tears streaming down my cheeks as he held me, arms holding me together as I fell apart for the world to see.