What's this? Another update so soon after the last? Why, yes! Teehee. Hope you enjoyed the fifteenth chapter, and that this one is as interesting as I intend it to be. LOVE!

Chapter Sixteen - Young and Single

JD POV

They were all gathered at the bar when we arrived, waiting for seats to become available - Carla headed over with her apologies spilling out, shooting me a look that clearly said 'yeah, he's the one you should blame'. I rolled my eyes and grinned, shaking Shaun's hand, kissing Elliot on the cheek and nodding my greeting to Dr. Cox and Jordan, maintaining eye-contact with the former for as short amount of time as I could manage. He barely acknowledged me as he would have done way before things 'happened', so I wasn't particularly put out by his lack of interest.

"So, JD," Shaun said, a friendly smile on his face as he took a sip of his diet coke. "How's life? It's been a while since I last saw you."

I shrugged, motioning to Turk to get me the usual Appletini. "It's not too bad. Patients to take care of, Rowdy to look after, you know, the usual. How about you, things still going okay with the dolphins?"

He took my slight jab at his career with a pinch of salt. "Yeah, nothing changes much. Y'know how it is."

I didn't, not having worked with water mammals myself, but I simply nodded and took a sip of the wonderfully made Appletini that Turk handed to me. Mmmm. Apple-tastic. Carla and Jordan were talking about god knows what, in that hushed way that women do when they don't want anyone else to hear what they're discussing - Dr. Cox stood motionless, looking both incredibly bored and incredibly… yum.

I recognised the black shirt he was wearing - the same one that he wore to that nightclub where things first got properly heated - and matched with the black trousers we looked pretty much the same… well, apart from the fact that he was a god and I was his bit on the side that wasn't much to look at (who was I kidding, I knew I looked good in this shirt). He caught me looking at him - nothing in his facial expression changed to show that he acknowledged the change in our relationship these past three weeks, but I knew that was normal, you had to know where to look. First, I focused on his eyes - yup, there was that little ember of I want smouldering at the edge of his irises; my stomach jolted slightly just at the thought of it. I flushed a little.

Next my eyes drifted to his hands - one was holding his bottle of beer, grasping it tight (a little too tight, that was a definite sign) and the other was in his pocket, jingling around with his keys and loose change (another sign that he was slightly edgy, no doubt brought on by my appearance).

I couldn't help it. Knowing the effect I was having on him and knowing he couldn't do a thing to stop it at that moment in time made me give in - I grinned.

"What's funny?" Elliot said, a slightly too-wide smile on her face that alerted me to the fact that she had perhaps been here a little while and had been drinking long enough to have tipped her ever so slightly into feeling tipsy. I shook my head, tearing my eyes away from everyone around me and watching instead the people around us. I saw the Maitre d' coming towards us with a smile.

"Table for eight? No, wait," he said, recounting as he saw I was without a partner (I bet he did it on purpose, the pompous ass), "sorry, table for seven, right this way."

He led us through the crowded restaurant until we were outside on the little balcony terrace outside, overlooking the lights of the town below us. I vaguely recalled that we'd been here before, back when we were only residents - we were all in very different places now. Carla and Turk were married, Elliot and Shaun were together and getting pretty serious, and Dr. Cox and Jordan were actually happy together, something that none of us saw coming. And me? Well… I was happy too, in my own little way. I had a home, a job, a stuffed dead dog and someone that I loved. Even if he didn't love me back.

Snapping out of my reverie, I realised that everyone had already sat down, the couples all sitting opposite each other - embarrassingly, I was forced to take the head of the table, sitting with Jordan and Dr. Cox closest to me.

Great.

Ordering was a relief; amidst idle chit-chat which I forced myself to partake in, it was a relief to have to do something so simple as choose what I wanted to eat. It wouldn't hurt anybody, and there was no way it would make me feel any worse than I already did. It didn't help that Jordan was suddenly taking an interest in me and my love life - or lack of one.

"Tell me DJ… how is it that a 29 year old passably attractive doctor still hasn't got a steady girlfriend?"

She stared at me, tilting her head to the side as she sucked on a cherry from her cocktail. I hesitated (and felt oddly pleased to be attractive in any sense), not knowing quite how to answer. Fortunately (or not), Dr. Cox cut in for me.

"As far as I'm aware there aren't many lesbians at the hospital."

I raised my eyes to the heavens. "Oh, of course, I'm a girl."

He nodded carelessly, cutting his steak deftly and (as well as the action being oddly sexy) manfully. "Yes, yes you are."

"Ease off of him, Perry. No, seriously though," she continued, pushing her plate away from her slightly (with a mostly uneaten salad still sitting there) and turning her body to face me. "You're young. You're somewhat acceptable in the looks area - I mean," she grinned, "I slept with you, after all."

"Please, you'd sleep with anything that had a pulse. And, possibly, without." Dr. Cox was still focusing on his steak, cutting it into pieces. I looked at him for a few seconds, before turning my attention back to Jordan. I opened my mouth to speak, before I was interrupted by Jordan.

"Just because I like to welcome opportunities doesn't mean I'm easy!"

He shrugged, moving his knife and fork to work on his potatoes instead. "Whatever makes you happy, dear."

I quickly interceded to stop it from becoming an actual argument. "I, err, just haven't really found someone I want to spend the rest of my life with yet, that's all."

Jordan's eyes snapped back to me. She lifted her glass to her lips, her stare focused on me as she spoke. "Oh really? No one? Surely there are tons of available people at the hospital that you could go for."

It was starting to feel a little like an interrogation - everyone was looking at me now, interested to hear what I had to say. I gulped.

"Available, yes, but none that really… stand out."

"Someone unavailable then? You can't tell me you haven't got the hots for someone - you're surrounded by people you work closely with day in, day out!" Her eyes were still heavily trained on me. My throat felt a little dry; I lifted my fourth Appletini to my lips and took a long sip.

"Yes, and the people I'm actually close to are all taken."

She shrugged casually, though there was nothing casual about the way she continued to look at me. Like she was trying to find something in my answers, in my facial expression, in my eyes. "Just because they're taken doesn't mean it stops them from acting on it."

I took an even longer sip of my drink, feeling the prickling discomfort of knowing that I was out of my depth as Jordan kept her attention wholly focused on me.

God it's hot in here.

I had to say something, and quickly - but what to say? 'Yes, you're right, I do have feelings for someone and we are doing something about it! Oh wait, that's right, it happens to be your LIFE PARTNER.' No, definitely not that. 'I'm not interested in anyone who's interested in me.' Yes, that was true, but still the lines were to easy to read between.

I'd hesitated too long. She raised an eyebrow, finishing her drink.

"It's not important. I was just curious."

The silence at the table was visibly awkward; Elliot forced a laugh and started talking about god knows what - my attentions were elsewhere. Mainly on what the hell had just happened, and the horrendous possibility that Jordan knew something, anything that could lead her in the right direction to finding out who, in fact, I was interested in.

Dr. Cox suddenly stood up.

"M'going to the men's room," he said shortly, placing his napkin on the table and heading off in the direction of the toilets; I watched him go, still feeling overwhelmed, still confused. I forced myself to look away, realising I still had half a plate of food left in front of me to finish - I set to work eating it, trying once again to join the conversation. Jordan was now acting completely as ease, her usual sarcastic yet intelligent self - maybe I'd been wrong. Maybe this whole thing was making me paranoid.

By the time I'd finished eating, Dr. Cox still hadn't come back.

"Ummm, Jordan?" Carla's voice was concerned. "Perry…?"

"I can go look for him if you want," Turk offered, making to stand up. Jordan shook her head, motioning for him to sit down.

"No, you sit down. JD," she said, turning to me and raising her eyebrow again in that way that made my stomach tense. "Can you go and see where my other half has disappeared to?"

Carla looked from Jordan to me for a few moments, before her lips set into a thin line of apprehension - yep, she was thinking the same thing that I was. And there was me hoping it had just been me.

"Uh, yeah, sure," I said, standing up and hastily walking away from her intense look, my eyes darting around in search for him. I couldn't help but feel disbelief that he'd spent that long in the men's room - and yes, there he was, sitting at the bar with a bottle of scotch and a shot glass. He cut a lonely figure, sitting there.

My heart wrenched at the sight of it.

Slowly and hesitantly, I sidled over to him, standing behind him. I opened my mouth to speak, but he got there first.

"You're the search party then, Janice?"

"Yeah," I replied, the word coming out in almost a whisper. Why was I suddenly feeling so shy? Somehow, in Jordan's x-ray glare, I had shed a few inches of shell and was suddenly feeling a little vulnerable, and seeing him knocking back the amber liquid wasn't helping. "Do you… want to head back? I think we're about to order coffee."

To my surprise, he nodded, standing - I waited for the sway, for the obvious signs that he'd been drinking too much, but he stood firmly, holding his ground. He half-grinned. "What, you're expecting me to be drunk on just four shots of scotch? Disappointing Newbie, disappointing indeed."

He walked to my side, heading in the direction of the balcony - I reached out and took his arm. He turned, raising his eyebrow in a disturbingly similar way to his significant other and made a point of removing his arm from my fingertips.

"Is there a problem here Sara?"

I shook my head. "No, it's just… this is the first time we've been on our own since we got here."

"And what, you want to head over to the toilets and get a happy ending?" There was a definite mocking edge in his voice, which didn't help the vulnerability. Not one bit. Suddenly all I wanted to do was to pull his arms around me and make him hold me, to just reassure me for a few seconds.

"Well no, I meant that… I don't really know." I moved closer to him so that I could speak in a slightly quieter voice - the area wasn't crowded in the slightest, but I didn't want to risk anything. "I don't always just expect you to get me off and then that's that, you know."

His arms folded, eyes turning slightly hard. "Well, what do you want me to do?"

"You don't have to… do anything."

"All right… what do you want me to say then?"

My eyes betrayed me as I glanced at him, holding the gaze for too long. He stiffened. I realised too late that I'd left myself open for him to assume what I was thinking - chances are, he'd assumed quite close to the mark.

"Newbie, I made it very clear -"

"No, no, I - you don't have to say anything. I just meant… what I meant."

Dr. Cox was still tense, leaning ever so slightly away from me - but his eyes, rather than staying the steely blue-grey they were at that moment, clouded over, turning into a look that was both weary and agitated at the same time. I reached out to touch his arm, a simple gesture from one colleague to another -

"Ummm, guys?" Turk stood behind Dr. Cox, looking awkward. I snatched my hand from it's position in the air and shoved it in a pocket. "Carla wants to order dessert and coffee."

Dr. Cox nodded curtly, looking away from me and walking past him and out onto the balcony. I saw him lean down and kiss Jordan lightly on the forehead - my stomach clenched tightly.

"Hey man, are you okay?" Turk's eyes were genuinely worried as he regarded me, and who could blame him? I could feel my fists at my sides, could feel the blood drain from my face at the small tenderness I had just seen, something he never did with me - and never would.

He would never love me.

I pasted on a grin, striding up to my best friend and slapping him on the back, acquiescing my 'okay' status and walking by his side to the table. I kept the grin on as I sat in my place, kept it on as we ordered dessert, somehow managed to hold it on even as my cheeks started to ache. I noticed Carla's eyes sweep over me as I grinned inanely and chatted as if I hadn't a care in the world, but thought nothing of it. It wasn't important. Nothing was that important. At that moment, all I could feel was a heaviness in my chest that stopped me from feeling pretty much anything other than apprehension.

"Let's make a toast!" Carla said suddenly, raising her glass of red wine and looking warmly around the table. "To good food, good company and most importantly of all, the people we love."

Everyone raised their drinks, me included, though it took all of my self-restraint not to look at Dr. Cox - the people we love, huh? Well, the good thing was that the person I loved was sitting at the table next to me… the not-so-good being that he was also sitting opposite the woman he planned to spend the rest of his life with. I saw Jordan raise her glass a little higher as she caught Perry's eye, a small smile on her face as he did the same back to her. Cue the stomach clench.

"And also, to JD," Carla added, looking over at me. In my slightly tipsy state, I sat up straight, feeling half-surprised and half-bewildered at this extra toast. Why were we toasting me? What had I done? "And knowing that someday he'll meet someone who can love him as much as he truly deserves."

Oh hell. Everyone raised their glasses again, looking somewhat confused by the side note, but taking in their stride - except for myself and Dr. Cox. I knew what Carla was referring to without even needing to think about it; it was an outright warning to Perry so that he knew exactly where he stood in her eyes, and exactly how well that did not sit with her. I couldn't hold back any longer, I had to look at him -

Everything slowed down. He too, had raised his glass, but he was looking straight at me, eyes clouded and unreadable. Our gazes met, colliding mid-air hard enough that the intensity bloomed between us strong enough to make me lean into it slightly, wanting it to stay, wanting it to be a permanent presence.

"To JD," everyone murmured, clinking glasses, smiling merrily, amused at their own simple happiness's. Dr. Cox said nothing. I said nothing.

He looked away.

But not soon enough.

X X X X X

Dr. Cox POV

She didn't say anything until we got home. She dismissed the Nanny, kissed Jack goodnight and walked back into the living room, looking thoughtful.

"Were you planning on telling me about you and your little protégé, or just wanted to wait until I asked you?" Jordan's tone wasn't accusatory; she asked it, a mere question, as if the answer meant nothing.

Then again, that was what I'd stated so firmly with Newbie. That it meant nothing.

"I don't know," I answered quietly, pulling off my tie as I made my way to the bedroom. I felt her eyes on me as I walked. "I didn't particularly have a plan."

She walked into the room, shutting the door and walking into the en-suite. I heard the faucets start to run, as she called over the added noise. "How long as it been going on for?"

I shrugged, even though I knew she wouldn't see it. It was more to reassure myself that I wasn't aware of how many days it had been since we'd made our fuck-buddy status official, that I wasn't aware of how many weeks it had been since the nightclub, that I wasn't aware of how long it had been since I kissed him on the roof of the hospital.

"About three weeks."

The faucets were turned off; she stood in the doorway of the bathroom, the light illuminating the highlights in her hair. When had those appeared? "I would've thought you would have told me by now. I usually tell you the moment something first happens."

Shifting her slightly to the side, I walked into the bathroom in my boxers, standing in front of the mirror and staring at my reflection. "I didn't know how long it would last, didn't know if there was any point in telling you until after it was over."

Her laugh was light, but with an edge to it. "You should have told me at the start."

I said nothing. I brushed my teeth and rubbed my face hard with the facecloth, watching the colour of my skin go from golden to red.

"Do you love him?"

Walking back into the bedroom, I turned the lights off and climbed into bed next to her, the cool sheets a little soothing to my skin which, for some reason, felt too hot. My face in particular felt like it was on fire.

Was this how she felt every time she'd told me about her latest fling?

I sighed at her ridiculous question. "No."

"Do you think he loves you?"

I turned to look at her. "Why does any of this matter? We're solid, Jordan. It's just one of those things, an itch - getting it out of my system."

She slid down the mattress until she was lying down properly, arms out of the covers. "It does matter, Perry. How far have you gone with him?"

From anyone else it would be inappropriate, but it was what we always did - or what she'd always done. She'd tell me every detail that I asked for. 'Keeping it truthful' we'd called it. I half-smiled at the irony of it all.

"A few hand-jobs."

"Has he gone down on you?"

I shut my eyes. "Yes."

A slight hesitation. "Have… you gone down on him?"

"Yes."

She was quiet for a few moments. "Have you two of you had… I don't know, can you call it sex?"

I sighed with frustration.

"I don't get it Jordan, why are these details so important to you? Why is it important to know what is I've done?"

"It's not what you've done, Perry, it's who that worries me. And answer my question."

I got the easy bit out of the way first, before the ridiculousness of her anxiety could really piss me off. "No, we haven't done that. I don't sleep with people I don't care about - speaking of, why the hell are you worried about Newbie for? He's harmless, he's hardly going to steal me away from you, is he? I mean, come on Jordan," I said, reaching out and taking her hand. She let me. "You know we're solid. We have our bumps in the road like these ones, but no one's going to take me away from you."

Jordan turned to look at me, disbelief in her eyes.

"Are you kidding me? It's not him stealing you away that concerns me, it's the possibility that you might end up loving him!"

Now it was my turn to be disbelieving as all hell. "Love him? Jordan, he's… he's a he!"

She say bolt upright, looking at me with a fervour in her eyes I didn't see very often. "Oh, I see! Is that what you're telling yourself? That the main reason you don't want to develop any deeper feelings for him is because he's a guy? Great work Perry, well done." She rolled her eyes. The frustration in me mounted.

"Well yeah, actually, that is the main reason!" I was fuming. "That and I don't want to hurt you -"

"Y'see, that's your problem PerPer," she said, slapping her hand on mine. "You're hiding behind reasons that yeah, are good, but they're blocking you from seeing the real reasons behind it."

I knew her well enough to know what was coming. And it pissed me off. "Let me guess - the real reason I don't want to have feelings for him is because they'll be oh-so-strong? Give me a break."

Jordan slammed herself back down into a horizontal position.

"The reason you don't want to develop feelings for him is because you know you're capable of it. The fact that you could easily feel something more for him drives you crazy, and makes you determined not to do it. It's plain old-fashioned stubbornness, and it's soooo unbelievably frustrating!"

"So what, you want me to develop feelings for him?" I was purposefully ignoring what she had said… god or whoever's up there help me, I was determined not to let that one sink into my head.

Her response was too quiet, too weary. "No, Perry, I don't want you to have feelings for Dr. Do-Good. I just want you to stop hiding all the time, you'll end up ruining us if you carry on this way."

I settled myself down, hitting my head on the pillow a few times before turning my head to look at her.

"You do know you're crazy for even suggesting half of the things you've said over the past ten minutes, right?" I said it lightly, as a joke, but my stomach had tied itself up in knots. The reality of her words were sinking in, and more than anything it made me angry. Angry and tired.

"We're both pretty insane for even being together in the first place."

I shut my eyes. That was true.

"But we fit together." It was probably the most tender thing I'd said to her in a while; I felt her body still itself under my hand, which still lay underneath hers. For a while we sat in silence, until she finally spoke.

"Some keys are designed for all kinds of locks. I've spent the last ten years seeing which locks I could get into, and you've always been understanding about it. I want…" she stopped, taking in a deep breath. "I want to do the same for you. I want to give you that freedom."

"I don't want it, Jordan," I said in a low voice. "Yeah, the freedom to itch is great, but the freedom you're offering me is to discover something I don't really want to find."

The truth of the words hit me. Hard.

Her fingers squeezed down gently on mine.

"Just do what you need to do. It's your call, Perry."

X X X X X

Dr. Kelso POV

"Six doctors and two nurses… six doctors… two nurses…"

Damn medical board, always asking things of me… I'm getting too old for this…

I read the letter one more time. "One more time and then home, Bob," I muttered to myself, reaching once again for my reading glasses. I slipped them onto my nose and studied the letter again.

Robert,

The medical board has now met up on several occasions to discuss how to further spread the awareness of the hospital around the state - numbers have decreased in the last year, and if we don't raise these figures we're going to be in some serious financial trouble.

We've decided to go all out, in one last-ditch attempt to win back all of those patients of ours who have gone private this last year - as I'm sure you can remember from the last meeting, the numbers aren't pretty, and it's important that we do what we can.

If you could recommend six doctors and two nurses to us (no interns and preferably two of the best surgeons), we'll send them on an all-expenses paid trip to the state's finest hotel, where they'll be expected to give talks, bring in new patients and generally represent Sacred Heart in the best way that they possibly can.

The rest of the letter was full of little details, requests and demands - I shook my head and put the letter down again. It was pointless, and if I was right (which I usually was) it was just an excuse for some of the board members to go away for a long weekend. I, of course, was expected to be there - who the hell would run the hospital in my absence?

I took off my reading glasses, and set to work on the list.

Doctors

Dr. Cox (a total ass but admittedly the best we've got)

Dr. Wen (the best surgeon though hideously dull - a word of warning, don't go to dinner with him)

Dr. Dorian (good bedside manner, good with people in general - and of course, he's Perry's little whipping boy, always entertaining)

Dr. Turkleton (funny name, good surgeon, always aiming to be better)

Dr. Slawski (looks like that KFC guy, is sure to create a point of interest)

Dr. Leventhal (thinks he's funny and an Oncologist - everyone's obsessed with cancer, it can't go wrong)

Nurses

Nurse Turkleton (easily the best nurse, plus she's a cracker to look at)

Nurse Bonnington (easy on the eyes, sure to work in our favour)

I sighed, rubbing my eyes as I looked at the time. Ten past one… these late hours were wearing me down.

It wasn't all fun and games being the Chief of Medicine.