I know... it has been forever, again.

How about I make this short and thank those who are still reading with a special thanks to the reviewers and those who are favouriting and subscribing?

Now... enjoy...

xxxxx

The pair didn't sleep at all, simply laid together, comforted by the presence of the other girl's arms. Both were in their own minds, both thinking of what repercussions that this may have, not just for themselves, but for the entire Fitch family.

Emily was mentally counting the years in her head, but no matter how she would add up the years, she couldn't figure out how Anthea had Effy a full two years before Jenna had her and Katie. She knew that Effy wasn't that much older than her. It just didn't make any sense. Her mum had had her when she was nineteen, she knew that for certain. So how was it that Anthea seemed to have carried Effy for a full two years instead of nine months? It just didn't add up.

Naomi could feel her girlfriend's mind going full blast, not stopping for even a moment. She couldn't do much but hold the petite girl to her, rubbing her back lightly to try to ease the mounting tension that she could feel in her muscles. It pained her to see the younger twin in such turmoil. She was at a loss.

"I think I'm ready to read more now," the red head spoke up after over an hour of silence.

The blonde kissed the top of her head and shifted to be able to reach for the journal. She handed the book over to Emily as they settled into a more comfortable position so they would both be able to read from its pages.

xxxxx

Dearest Jenna,

You know now, about my unplanned and untimely pregnancy. I saw the hurt in your eyes when I informed you of who the father was, though I believe that it wouldn't have mattered anyway. I had been with someone that wasn't you, and that was your problem. I've apologized time and time again, and you state that you're fine with it, but I know you, Jenna, I can see it in your eyes. I've caused such a deep rooted pain that I'm not sure we can ever recover.

I told you that I had to marry Jim, that it was the right thing to do, and all you did was look down and bite down on your lip. When I tried to reach out to you, you shied away. I deserved it, I know.

I can't even imagine my life without you in it, Jenna. Can't imagine not being able to kiss you, or hold you, or be intimate with you. I feel dirty all the time because of this pregnancy. You sometimes help, taking me into the shower and washing my entire body, including the growing bump that is housing my baby. You're so tender, so fucking loving that I feel as if light is going to explode from me, bathing you in my love.

Sometimes I wish as if we could run away together and raise my son together. No parents, no boyfriends, just us. I brought that up to you, though, and you had declined. You said that you weren't ready to have a child, or be a parental figure, that you were too young. That hurt me. It wasn't as if I wanted this to happen. All I've ever wanted in my life is you.

I only have a couple more months until this baby is born; I think I'm going to name him after your father, Anthony. Anthony James.

All my love,

Anthea

xxxxx

Emily's eyes nearly bulged out as she finished the words on the page, her lip tucked tightly under her tooth. She hadn't even considered that Anthea had another child, that Effy had a brother. She just assumed that Effy was an only child because she never spoke of a brother. She also didn't remember seeing any pictures around the house when she had gone in, no family portraits, no single pictures of Effy or this brother of hers, Anthony.

"I didn't even know Effy had a brother, and I've known her for years," Naomi said softly, feeling horrible that she didn't know the basic information about her best friend's family. "Well, that explains part of the mystery. Anthea wasn't pregnant with Effy when she was writing this."

The red head nodded slightly, still in a bit of a daze. So if she had another child, what happened to him? Was he alive? Where is he now? Questions started to flood her mind and she couldn't seem to stop them. Instead, her eyes flicked to the next page and she started reading.

xxxxx

My Lovely Jenna,

I can't believe it's been so long since I wrote to you. Anthony, or Tony, as we call him for short, has just had his first birthday. I can't even express my gratitude toward you for being there for me. Dropping out of school was difficult for me, but it really was my only choice. Jim did the same and got a job at a local shop and he takes classes at night. I guess I should be thankful that he didn't leave me to raise this little boy on my own, but it is you who holds me together.

It's you who comes over right after school, and as soon as I put Tony down for bed, it's you who owns my body, mind, heart, and soul. I thought we had been ruined, Jenna, but we've slowly put the pieces back together. You know that I have to perform my civil duty as a wife and let Jim fuck me, and I know that you've started to be intimate with Robert. You tell me that you'll always love me, but that maybe it's time that you get married too. You assured me that it wouldn't come between us, but it's already difficult enough to dodge Jim without him suspecting. I can only imagine how much more difficult it will become if you and Rob Fitch tie the knot.

We will find a way, though, I know it. Our love is everlasting. Nothing can come between us. I will love you forever.

A

xxxxx

"That one was kind of short," Naomi states to her girlfriend.

"I doubt she would have a lot of time to do so with a baby in the house, Naoms," Emily says back softly. She feels for this woman, for Anthea. It is painfully obvious just how much she loved Jenna, but with the exception of little hints here and there, the younger twin still isn't sure if her mother was in love with Anthea, or simply caring deeply for a friend in need.

The two were too deep into it now to stop. Naomi was getting to the point where she didn't want to read anymore. This whole thing was getting out of control. She pulled the redhead closer into her, placing soft kisses onto her hair.

Emily hummed softly at the attention given to her by the blonde. It eased her, but only slightly. She turns the page to the next one that isn't dated for another fifteen months.

xxxxx

Jenna,

I didn't mean for it to happen again, but then again, I doubt that you did either. Now we're both pregnant. As far as I know you're going to have twins, two little girls. I'm having a little girl as well. I can only hope that they will grow up together, that they will be close and stand up for one another. Hopefully Tony will be an older brother to all of them.

Maybe it's just me in my fantasy world, dreaming that we can continue on how we had been before everything went to shit. Two big happy families tied together by our love. Let the men work and we can spend all day together when our children are at school. I'm excited for those times, Jenna, I really am. You know as much as I do just how difficult it is to cuddle with our growing bellies. Sometimes, though, I just love when we lay on our sides. Jenna, I fall into your eyes every time. Time and space disappear and the only thing that matters is us, is our love.

I just have a few months left before my little girl is born, and just like I named Anthony after your father, I will do the same thing with my little girl, after your mother, Elizabeth Jennifer. I don't expect for you to name your twins after anyone in my family, I just know that they will have some of you in them, they have to. If it was possible for two women to conceive, then I would gladly have you impregnate me. Our children would be beautiful, Jenna. I'm sure they still will, even if they aren't made together.

Sometimes I wonder how I can possibly go on. Sometimes I think I will just burst, you know? Like, I have so much love for you that my skin will just no longer be able to hold everything in and my guts will go everywhere.

I think I'm not making any sense anymore. Maybe I am completely going mental because of my love for you. I would gladly take the insanity sometimes, like when Rob took you on your honeymoon to New Zealand and you were gone for nearly a month. Poor Jim got the brunt of my bad personality, and he even mentioned that he couldn't wait for you to get home so I would be normal again. It made me laugh when he said that, because he has absolutely no clue.

I miss you, love.

Anthea

xxxxx

Emily's eyes were full of unshed tears. It was one thing to name her son after her grandfather, but was another thing completely for Effy to be named after her own grandmother. It was completely fucked up, and utterly beautiful at the same time.

Naomi had to admit that even she felt shocked by the most recent entrée. There simply were no words that she could say that would do anything to ease the situation.

"Do you think my mum named us after…" Emily began to ask before thinking better of it and killing the question before it was fully from her lips.

The blonde didn't answer. She didn't know the answer, first of all, and second, she was wondering the same thing herself. Her fingertips reached up to brush the crimson locks in hopes of settling down the active mind of her love. Emily leaned her head into her.

They sat like that for a little bit, in comfortable silence, before the Fitch reached up and turned the page. It was blank. Her eyebrows furrowed slightly as she turned it again only to find another unused page. "That's it?" she said in a frustrated tone.

After a few more pages and nearly to the end of the journal she found a couple pages that did have some writing. The script, however, was obviously different than Anthea's writing. The date at the top was seven months after the Fitch twins were born, so probably around ten or eleven months after Effy was born to Anthea.

It looked familiar to Emily. Too familiar.

xxxxx

Anthea,

I miss you so much that at times I believe I'd like to take my last breath on this earth and join you in death. If it wasn't for the twins, then surely I would have found a way to end my own life. You wouldn't have wanted me to follow you and leave them. You loved them just as much as I did, and they hadn't even been born yet. I am sorry it has taken me so long to write to you, it's been about eight months since you left me. I needed time.

I have read this journal. It wasn't in my place to do so, but I couldn't help myself. I knew that you had written things down because I would often see this on the bedside table with a pen on top of it. Some days you would put it down the moment I would come in. It wasn't as if you were hiding it from me, and with everything that has happened between us, I figured that you needed an outlet. I know I am not always the easiest person, but I know you love … loved… me.

I know you never got to meet the twins, other than rubbing my belly and speaking to them. I never even told you the names I had picked out for them; I wanted it to be a surprise. It is too late now, of that I know, but I just felt the need to tell you. I had noticed that your children had quite familiar names to those of my parents, and it is funny because I took the first and middle name of your mother to name my girls after. The older twin, by six minutes, is Kathryn, and the younger one is named Emilia We have already shortened their names to Katie and Emily, so it might have been a bit more difficult to discern but they were in honour of you. I'm glad Rob didn't try to fight me on it. Then again, he still doesn't know where I pulled those names from. He never will. It was between you and I, and now that you are no longer here, I have to bare this secret on my own shoulders until I can be with you again.

I have always loved you, Anthea. I'm sorry that I was scared. I shouldn't have reacted the way that I did when you told me you were pregnant with Anthony, but I really didn't expect for anything like that to happen.

What we had was radiantly beautiful.

I will always be yours,

Jenna

xxxxx

Emily nearly dropped the book completely when she finished reading. If it wasn't for Naomi holding half of it up, it would have tumbled into their laps.

"Your name is Emilia?" Naomi asked, slightly shocked that she didn't even know the true name of her lover.

Emily nodded. "I've always gone by Emily, just as Katie has always gone by that. The only time we would ever hear our true names was if we were in trouble by our father, or when mum was tucking us in to bed at night, giving us both a long hug and kiss on the forehead as she said her good nights."

"Emilia," Naomi said it seriously and softly as she kissed the redhead's temple. "What's your middle name?"

"She loved her," Emily said in a daze, not even reacting to the tender affection being bestowed upon her by her girlfriend, or the question posed. "My mum loved Anthea," she said as if clarifying who it was she was speaking about.

The blonde nodded her head and gently extricated the book from their hands to set it on the table. She reached around Emily and positioned the petite body under the crook of her arm so that Emily's leg and arm were thrown haphazardly over Naomi's body. Emily's fingers began to trace patterns on the fabric of her girlfriend's shirt, sometimes tripping over the dip that was her navel.

"I don't have one," Emily said randomly.

Confused, the blonde responded, "What?"

"A middle name. I don't have one. It's just Emilia Fitch," she elucidated.

"Oh…." Naomi said, feeling slightly stupid for a moment that Emily had actually answered her question but that she hadn't made the connection. "Does Katie not have one either?"

"No," she whispered.

Naomi's hand started to rub gently along Emily's spine as if following an intricate blueprint filled with lines and curves, circles and edges.

"Dad has no idea," she mumbled into the skin of Naomi's neck. The blonde didn't respond and so she continued, "he had no idea that mum loved Anthea. It's no wonder mother didn't want to talk about it. I know I wouldn't have wanted to, would you?"

Naomi shook her head slightly and set her free hand on the thigh thrown across her hips.

"What should I do, Naoms?"

"Ems, I love you, but there's no way I could answer that. Your mum already dislikes me, and your dad only tolerates me because I make you happy… so I'm in no position to tell you one way or the other, " Naomi explained gently.

Emily was silent for a few minutes, deep in thought. Her fingers slipped under the blonde's shirt so she could caress the silky skin over her lover's abdomen. After a few deep breaths she spoke softly, "I have to talk to mum again, I think. I don't want this to mess up our family, but doesn't dad deserve to know?"

Naomi thought for a moment to gather her thoughts on the matter before explaining, "Is it hurting him now, not knowing? This was years ago, Ems. What good could bringing it up possibly do? Who knows, maybe your mum ended up coming clean about it all, and if she didn't, maybe it is because she actually learned to love your father. At least the bloke stayed around."

Emily nodded and brushed her lips along the column of Naomi's neck, "Thank you."

Naomi couldn't help it when her breath hitched. It was already difficult enough to keep her emotions in check when the tender touch Emily was administering to her stomach. Couple that with her heated breath exhaling against her skin, and now her soft lips pressing along her pulse point… she was already in a state of arousal, but she knew it wasn't the time. "Welcome," she said in a shaky voice as Emily's body tucked in tighter to her own body, and she thought she felt Emily's hips move into her, but it was only once, and it most certainly could have been her mounting need that was screaming out to be sated. Either way, she kept herself balanced enough to allow Emily to fall into a light slumber, cambered into her body.

"Love you," Naomi whispered almost inaudibly as she brushed her lips over the ginger tresses.

xxxxx

Well, hopefully it was worth the wait. Let me know what you think!