02:00 1st March 2013 , Lough, Dingle Peninsula, County Kerry, Ireland

Marlon woke to the sound of a baby crying. It took him a few seconds to remember he wasn't at home, and the baby wasn't Leo. He jumped straight out of bed and made his way quickly from the spare room to Evie's room in the dark, trying to be as quiet as possible. He picked the tiny thing up from her cot and held her close to him, whispering soothing noises into her ear. She quietened down, but it was clear she was hungry, so he carried her downstairs to get her a feed.

He got to the bottom of the stairs and was surprised to see light spilling underneath the living room door. He'd expected everyone to be asleep. He pushed the door and saw that the sofa on which Cain was supposed to be sleeping was empty. He ventured through to the kitchen and found his cousin preparing a bottle for Evie.

"Thought I was doing the night shift?" Marlon said as he took the bottle from Cain.

"Couldn't sleep. Heard her crying so thought I'd get it sorted" he replied as he followed Marlon back into the living room. They both sat on the sofa as Marlon held the bottle and Evie drank greedily.

Marlon pulled something from underneath him that was making him uncomfortable. Seeing it was a battered old exercise book, he looked at Cain quizzically.

"Been doing your maths homework?"

Cain went to take it from him, but Marlon pulled it away from his grasp and flicked through it. He recognised the handwriting.

"Have you been rifling through her drawers?" he asked, not particularly surprised – nothing Cain did surprised him anymore – but confused as to why he'd do it.

"Belle brought it" Cain defended, annoyed his cousin believed the worst in him, like everyone else always did, "Chas left it with her. She thought it'd do me good to have a bedtime story".

Marlon skimmed through one of the entries. It was from Chas's teenage years, when she'd first found out she was pregnant. She sounded scared and confused. She mentioned Cain being locked up and Shadrach missing. Marlon remembered first finding out that Chas had had a baby. It was a huge shock for the family for two reasons. The first was that she'd kept it secret – no one managed to keep a secret for long amongst the Dingles. The second was that it was Chas herself, who'd always been adamant she wouldn't end up a pregnant teenager with no prospects – she'd been terrifyingly single-minded about being successful when she was a kid.

What had impressed Marlon about Chas was that she'd seemed to take her change of fate on the chin and put all of her energies into being a mother. She'd surprised everyone by moving in with Gordon Livesy and his family and bringing Aaron up whilst still attending school and passing all of her exams. She seemed to have met all of life's challenges with ease and good humour.

Then, almost as quickly, she'd run out on her son and husband, given up on a seemingly comfortable life and taken up a career as a stripper. 'What a waste' he'd always thought. He'd never understood why she seemed to mess her life up so spectacularly when things were starting to go well for her. He still found it hard to forgive her for cheating on Paddy with Carl, breaking his best mate's heart. And the latest affair, with Debbie's boyfriend, he just couldn't get his head around. She'd always been so loyal to the family in the past, much more so than most of the clan.

He passed the book to Cain and burped Evie, trying her again with the bottle, which she went back to happily. Cain sat staring at the page Marlon had just been reading. He finally spoke,

"Have you ever looked back at your past through someone else's eyes and realised you've let them down completely?" he asked.

Marlon reflected on the question for a few seconds and then nodded, "when I look back at the last year from Paddy's point of view, I can barely believe I was such a terrible friend. I caused him so much grief because I was so single-minded. And we both let Leo down acting like idiots"

Cain smiled grimly. He'd not expected Marlon to understand how he was feeling. Marlon carried on.

"But Paddy was in the wrong too. I can't take responsibility for his actions, any more than you can for Chas's. You were a kid too, you weren't her dad".

"No. She wasn't my mum, but she always looked out for me. And Shadrach. Seven years old and she was the responsible one. Never stood a chance really. We should have let the social take her in when they tried".

"I don't think this is why Belle gave you this Cain" Marlon spoke softly, "you're missing the point".

"What point?"

"Look how often she wrote about you, and Shadrach. She missed you, she loved you. Still does probably. I think Belle just wants you to see that Chas is still the kid that wrote this stuff, she's still your little sister. You can't just look at her based on one action. She never did with you".

Cain nodded, taking this in. Marlon ploughed on, broaching a subject he was dreading bringing up.

"I spoke to Diane before I came over. She gave me a cheque for the profits from the share Chas signed over before she left. She's been saving them for her just in case"

"And?"

"And she wants me to tell Chas that she's welcome back if she wants to return. But if not, she'll find a buyer, get her a fair amount for her half".

Cain knew that Diane saw Chas as a surrogate daughter. He knew she'd been missing her.

"No skin off my nose. She won't want to come back though" Cain said bluntly.

"She might…if…"

"If what? If I forgave her? If I begged her to come back? Had a word with Debbie?"

"Well, yeah"

Cain shook his head, "You've never got us have you? She'll not come back, she'd never do it to Debbie".

Marlon was a bit stung by the first comment. He'd always felt like an outsider with some of his family because he was a bit of a softie. But he let it go. "I'm going to ask her anyway, just in case" he told Cain.

Cain just nodded. In truth, he would love to be wrong. But he knew he wasn't, not about this.

Marlon burped Evie again and took her upstairs. She went down without a problem, so Marlon took himself back to the spare room and settled down in bed to get a few more hours sleep. Tomorrow was going to be a big day, for better or for worse, and he knew he needed as much energy as he could muster to face it.