3rd March 2013 , Dingle District Hospital, Dingle Peninsula, County Kerry, Ireland
Two days later and Chas was given the all clear from the doctor. Her blood pressure had come down to a satisfactory level and all of her obs were clear. She still had a bad cough, due to fluid lingering on her lungs, but other than that, she was healthy enough to be discharged.
And it couldn't have come sooner in her opinion – she was bored out of her mind and just wanted to go home and get her life back to some semblance of normality. Fianna had visited with a big bunch of flowers and a stern ticking off. She apologised for keeping her in the dark about her true identity and told her the full story of how she came to live in Lough. She half expected the woman to sack her once she'd found out about her affair, knowing that Fianna was staunchly Catholic. But instead, she gave her a hug and told her stories about Shadrach's visits. She'd told her to come back to work when she was ready and not before.
The doctor came in with her discharge papers and a portable blood pressure monitor, which was a condition of her release.
"Three times a day Ms Thomas, sorry, Dingle – I keep forgetting" the doctor told her as he passed her the kit, "if your blood pressure gets above one hundred and fifty, then come straight back in".
Chas smiled sheepishly as she took it, "Will do, and sorry again about your eye".
The doctor nodded and left, still a bit embarrassed that a five foot five woman who had just come round from a coma had managed to plant one straight in his face. He'd been in the university boxing club, for God's sake!
As the doctor left, Aaron arrived, carrying Evie, who Chas quickly swapped for the monitor.
"Hello beautiful" she cooed at her daughter, holding her close and kissing her forehead.
"Hi" Aaron replied, earning a smile from Chas.
"You all set?" he asked.
Chas nodded, "all set" she said, looking at the door with approbation. Now that it was time to leave, all she wanted to do was hide under her hospital bed with Evie and never come out.
She realised Aaron was talking again, but she had no idea what he'd been saying. "Sorry love, say that again?" she said.
Aaron flashed a worried look at his mother. He'd been talking to her for the last few minutes and she'd seemingly not registered any of it. The doctor had told him she might zone out sometimes, and suffer short-term memory loss, but it wasn't nice to witness. He saw her waiting for him to repeat what he said, completely unaware that she'd spaced out.
"Never mind" he said, smiling as he picked up her bag, "let's go".
When they arrived home, it was to an empty house.
"No welcome party?" Chas asked, but she didn't seem disappointed. She was dreading coming home to a big fuss almost as much as she was dreading coming home to face her brother. Cain hadn't been back to visit her in hospital since the day she'd awoken and she knew there was unfinished business between them.
"No, we thought you'd want a bit of space to settle in. They've gone on a day trip to Kerry, be back this evening".
"Cain's on a day trip?" Chas asked dubiously.
"Well, no, he went to look up a mate somewhere else yesterday. But he said he'll be back at some point tonight too".
Evie started fussing in Chas's arms, so she held her closer and made to go upstairs, "she'll need a feed and a nap" she said.
"I'll make us some food. Got some grown up groceries for you. Do you think you'll be able to eat normal food now you'll have no morning sickness to contend with? Could make a cheese sandwich to test the waters?" Aaron offered.
Chas grinned at her son's thoughtfulness, "yeah, that'd be nice. Been dreaming about grilled cheese sandwiches the last couple of months," she told him.
"One grilled cheese sandwich coming up" he replied, and they went their separate ways.
Chas felt strange walking through her house once more. She kept having flashes of memory that she couldn't place properly in her mind. As she passed her bathroom, she noticed that the door had been replaced. She raised a hand to her head, feeling for the gap in her hair, running her fingers lightly over the ridge of flesh that had been stitched back together. She looked around for splinters on the floor, but she couldn't see any.
Evie moved in her arms, gurgling her impatience, and so she moved up the corridor and into the nursery. She saw that this too was very different from how she remembered it. There were clothes and toys piled on the shelves – far more than any she could afford. Lisa had told her that Gennie had sent over some of Sophie's old things, but she hadn't expected so much. A lump rose in her throat as she reflected on how generous her family had been, and how much she didn't deserve this generosity.
She sat in the chair by the window and allowed Evie to latch on and feed greedily as she rocked backwards and forwards. She watched her daughter, her beautiful little miracle, and she knew that despite her wretch of a mother and coward of a father, Evie deserved the generosity of her family. She felt ashamed of herself for trying to deny her this, for thinking she could do it all on her own. She'd gone through most of her life trusting no one and relying only on herself. It wasn't until she'd moved to the village that she'd made friends she could count on, experienced relationships of any worth, got to know family she actually trusted. And she'd thrown all of that away for someone who'd made empty promises of love, she'd betrayed her closest friends and family, made her sister lie to cover up her wicked deeds. She didn't want her daughter growing up making the same mistakes as her, and if her family were able to look positively towards the future, look past her misdeeds for the sake of her baby, then she was going to try her hardest to do the same.