A/N: The usual apologies for the delay... I just hope that you'll all still love me for updating!

I just want to make a mention of something, or more accurately, SOMEONE: lauralovesit, a user on here, is taking the time and effort to translate this fanfiction into German and posting it on the German version of ! Isn't that amazing? The fact that someone would use their time to do that just astounds me and makes me feel that this fic has come on in leaps and bounds since the beginning. She is truly wonderful and, if the reviews it's received are anything to go by, she's doing an amazing job! So lots of love directed towards her, please!

One last thing – do you guys realise it's been almost three years of this fic? THREE YEARS? I know that's partly due to my awful habit of never updating and then updating in massive chunks but seriously, I just want to extend a huge thanks to you all for sticking with it for so long. For a long time this fic had the most reviews out of all of the Scrubs fanfiction on here – that's no longer the case, but I honestly don't care! The fan-base for this fic is just... immense. So... thank you. All of you.

Wow. Longest author's note EVER. My bad. ENJOY THE FIC! SORRY FOR RAMBLING!

Chapter Thirty-Two – Jingle Bell Rock

JD POV

Before I knew it, it was two weeks until Christmas. Perry and I had been 'seeing' each other for over a month, still not putting any titles to it but it was general knowledge to those that knew either one of us that we were.. together.

Just knowing it made me feel light-headed.

The situation between him, me and Jordan was strange to say the least. She had come over one morning a few weeks after I had forced him to watch Finding Nemo for a second time and walked in on us making breakfast – better than walking in on us just ten minutes earlier, that's for sure. She stared at us for a few minutes, me in the dressing gown I'd bought and left there for when I stayed over and him in a t-shirt and boxers, seemingly frozen by the sight of us – incredibly awkward. But then... then she said something I didn't expect.

"Made enough for an extra mouth?"

Dr. Cox snorted and shrugged, nudging me towards the dishwasher to get out an extra plate – I could barely move. "Not one as big as yours."

I could only flicker my eyes between the two of them, watching their natural camaraderie. Jordan raised an eyebrow, making her suddenly look every inch Dr. Cox's life-partner. My stomach twisted. "Didn't hear you complaining on our honeymoon -"

"H-ooookay," he abruptly interrupted, holding out his hands and clearly fighting a grin. "I think we get the picture, Jordan."

She shrugged, shooting me a glance that made me feel that the last place I should have been at that moment was there, in the kitchen, with the two of them. I swallowed hard and started fumbling with the dishwasher in an attempt to retrieve a plate for his surprise guest. He carried on striding around the kitchen, creating gorgeous smells that weren't all to do with the food and were mostly to do with the fact that he smelt amazing, all the while retaining a strange calm that, at that moment, I wish I knew how to fake. The worst thing was that I was pretty sure he wasn't faking it. It was one of the most natural things in the world for him, being in the same room with Jordan.

For a moment, I hated her.

"So!" Her voice pierced through my bubble of loathing and somehow managed to turn it on its head so that it was instead facing me. "How are... things?"

I couldn't see, as my head was purposefully buried in the dishwasher to avoid having to look at them together, but I could practically feel Dr. Cox's smirk. "What, you want the gory details?"

"Save them for your alone time, Perry," she replied in clipped tones, revealing for a moment how awkward this situation really was – despite the almost-flirtatious teasing and all. "Before we carry on this weird breakfast freak-show I want to make something clear with you both. Hey," she called, louder than necessary, "that includes you, Sally."

I turned slowly, holding the plate I'd extracted with a tighter grip than was perhaps needed. "Oh, yeah. Right."

"I'm fully aware that I was the one to... sanction this little situation you've got going on here. I've got no issue with it – well, other than the issues you'd expect. It's not every day that you send your partner off to roll around with some pretty little woman-boy."

I gritted my teeth.

"But I'm not exactly in the right place to pretend that this doesn't feel wrong to me. I won't sit here and listen to you talk about how happy you are or what a great big gay sex-life you have, all right? I'm glad that you're getting this out of your system, Perry, and JD, well, as much as I hate to say it I'm a little glad for you too... though mostly I'm just amused. In a bitter sort of way."

"Wouldn't expect any less," Dr. Cox said quietly, but with an edge of humour. They shared a look that I didn't much like. "But if you're not here to talk about our situation, what are you here for?" At this, he turned away as if it didn't mean much to him at all, taking the pancakes from the stove and starting to slip them onto plates. Jordan and I both watched him intently – again I felt a powerful surge of jealousy well up from within me, frustrating myself with the knowledge that if this was how I felt, Jordan must be feeling ten times worse.

She walked over to the cutlery draw, taking out knives and forks. I suppressed the shudder that ran through me, my head screaming that it was my job to get the cutlery, that she had no place here.

I was the one that had no place here.

"Well, Christmas is coming up and I wanted to discuss arrangements. With Jack."

Both of our eyes fixed on her instantly. Was she going to be a bitch about it? It would certainly reveal her to be someone I could willingly hate, but the thought that it would cause Dr. Cox pain to be separated from his son over Christmastime...

"I figure it's going to be a bitch to try and decide who he should spend Christmas with, me and my Mom or you and your mistress -"

"He's not living here, Jordan," he cut in, folding his arms tight across his chest. "He just stayed the night."

Slowly, she cast her eyes over me, taking in the dressing gown that she clearly knew didn't belong to him – but said nothing of it. "Either way, I don't really care." Liar – how could she not? "It's up to you, and you don't have to but I thought maybe we could go away for Christmas – me, you, Jack and my Mom."

I tensed, feeling the weight of her words – Dr. Cox's eyes flitted to me for a moment before he focused on her again. "I see."

She met his gaze fearlessly. "A family holiday."

He nodded curtly. "I hear you."

Without warning, Jordan had turned her gaze to rest on me, straightening up a little. I tensed a little more.

"I don't mean it offensively or anything, but it's how I want it to be. Whatever you are to Perry, that doesn't make you family – end of story."

"I understand," I forced out between gritted teeth, determined not to let my emotions get the better of me – despite her tone, I knew she wasn't intentionally saying the words to upset me. "And I won't try and get in the way of that. You guys... do what you have to do."

I felt the cold heat of Perry's stare on my face; I couldn't look at him. "Newbie -"

"No, really," I interrupted, putting down the plate that I was still holding and moving away from the dishwasher and towards freedom from this hellish conversation. "It's not my place to intrude upon a situation that's not really anything to do with me, and I mean it when I say I understand. If it were me, I'd want to spend my Christmas with the people I consider to be family, without the addition of someone that's just gonna... make it awkward." I turned, meeting Perry's eyes as unwaveringly as I could manage. "Honestly, Dr. Cox. It's fine."

Walking away wasn't easy; I vaguely heard Jordan ask if she should leave and Perry's denial, asking her to stay for a little longer so that they could 'go over details' – my stomach twisted, hard. I didn't want her there, in fact I was pretty sure I'd never wanted anything less... I knew, deep down, that it wasn't my space, that it was THEIR apartment and that I was the outsider, but the last few months had been so wondrously magical that the idea that she could just come in and ruin it all with a few words shook me.

Gathering my things up and opening the front door, I plucked my cell phone from my pocket and started to text.

X X X X X

"I wondered when you'd get in touch," she said with a little smile, lifting the giant coffee mug to her lips and taking a sip. "Things going well with Perry?"

The smile I returned to her was unmistakeably pained. "I won't lie to you Lesley, things just got a whole lot more complicated."

She grimaced. "How is that even remotely possible?"

"Jordan."

Her brow wrinkled. "His ex?"

"Yup. Came to his place this morning, ate my pancakes and stole him away for Christmas." She nodded, looking far to calm considering what I'd just told her. I frowned. "Lesley, she ate my pancakes and stole him!"

Rolling her eyes, she dabbed her napkin to her mouth and focused her hazel gaze on me. "Johnny. Calm down. They were just pancakes."

"That's not what this is about!" I sputtered, throwing myself back in my chair and slouching – I knew I was acting like a spoiled child but I couldn't help it. How did she not see how unfair this was? "She is literally stealing him from under my nose to whisk him away on some magical Christmas adventure with her mom and their son -"

"His ex-wife's mom had a kid with him?" I gritted my teeth and narrowed my eyes at her; she tried (and failed) to smother a smile, putting her hands up. "Sorry. Go on."

"I just... I thought I'd spend this Christmas with him. Call me an idiot -"

"Don't tempt me."

"- but I genuinely thought we'd do the whole nine years, y'know? Buy a tree, decorate the apartment together, wake up with each other on Christmas day, go over to Turk and Carla's for Christmas dinner or invite them over to ours -"

She choked slightly, shaking her head and making gestures to stop me. "Wait, wait... ours? You two are living together now?"

I froze. Had I said that?

Lesley shook her head again, taking another sip of her coffee. "I guess not."

"I'm sorry," I murmured, fiddling with my cup, "it's hard to think of it as just his now. I've practically forgotten what my bed feels like, I've been spending so much time over there."

"I understand," she replied softly, reaching over and squeezing my hand briefly before leaning back and scrutinizing me. "And I'm sorry for making jokes before. I can tell you're in a lot of pain."

I shrugged. "It's stupid, really... all this time I've been trying to find some sort of empathy, with him and Jordan I mean. I know he still loves her -" I looked up and met her eyes so that she could see the acceptance in my eyes, so that she would know just how deep it cut, " - but until today I didn't quite realise just how deep it ran. How much their love compliments one another." I didn't add my last sentiment, that their love was better suited than the love Dr. Cox and I had for each other – it would make the statement a little too true.

Lesley's brow furrowed again, puckering her forehead. "Are you implying that your love isn't just as complimentary?"

I hated how she knew every thought in my head. "It's true."

She snorted. "Bullshit. The way I see it, you guys are probably the most adorable couple I've seen in a long time."

"Dr. Cox and adorable don't really fit in the same sentence."

"Not if you're just thinking about him on his own, but when you consider how he is with you..." She was quiet for a moment, letting her words whirr in my head. "Are you honestly telling me that he's the same old asshole with you that he was before?"

"Uh, yeah!" The truth of it made me smile... god, I love that man...

"Johnny."

"Mmm?" I didn't want to talk anymore, not whilst my mind was drifting to a nice place -

"He hasn't changed at all?"

I bit my lip. "He says we're in a relationship now."

Her jaw dropped slightly. "He admitted that to you? He actually said it? You weren't just in a sex-coma and imagined the whole thing?"

Flushing slightly, remembering the sex-coma he'd left me in last night, I nodded. "Yep, he said it. Said it with fear in his voice – and not fear because he was scared of saying it but fear because he thought I might reject him. That I might reject him." Even now the idea was laughable. "How crazy is that?"

She shrugged, nonchalant. "Not so crazy. He's put himself out there with all of this, Johnny, and he has way more to lose than you."

My eyes widened slightly... god, she was right! He had so much to lose, and here I was acting like a little kid because he was trying to keep all of the different bits of his life together -

"Lesley, I've gotta go!" I cried, throwing my chair back and rummaging around in my pocket until I found a twenty dollar note. "I'm sorry to do this, but the coffees are on me, and -"

She stood, interrupting me. "It's fine. I was in town buying supplies for the stables anyway, it's not like it was out of my way."

I knew she was lying – I could see it on her face, the way she shielded her eyes from me so that I wouldn't be able to see the disappointment and slight hurt. I reached out and stilled her from gathering her things, holding her hands momentarily and forcing her to look me in the eye.

"I really did want to see you, Lesley. It wasn't just about Dr. Cox."

She carefully extracted her hands from mine and smiled – was it just me, or was that smile slightly forced? "It's fine. Maybe next time we'll be able to spend more than ten minutes together."

Guilt lined the base of my stomach. "Yeah. You... you look after yourself."

"I will."

With that, she turned and started to walk away, leaving me with the uncomfortable realisation that, despite how much I genuinely liked her, I was all too easily using her as my walking-talking-journal. I stared after her for a few minutes, watching as she got lost in the crowds on the street before turning around myself and starting the slow walk back to Perry's apartment.

Dr. Cox POV

I knew it was him before I even opened the door – the scent of lavender and guilt was unmistakeable.

He sheepishly met my gaze. "Can I come in?"

I frowned. "That depends... are you going to cry?"

"Ummm..." A few moments of consideration. "No?"

Nodding curtly, I moved away and towards the couch, sitting down and waiting for him to join me. Clearly the kid had something on his mind, I just didn't know what yet. He shuffled inside, shucking off his sneakers and slowly slipping off his jacket, hanging it up by the door before shuffling his way over to sit beside me; I raised my eyebrows, waiting.

"I wanted to... apologise. For the way I acted before."

Finding myself confused, I simply waited for him to continue. As far as I could remember, he'd been pretty mature about the whole situation.

"I didn't know how to react. On the one hand you have me, your boyf-" he cut himself off, shaking his head violently, "- your relationshippy person, and on the other you have your ex-wife who you still very much care about, offering you a way to spend Christmas with your son. And I realise now that... that I over-reacted."

Again, bewilderment. What in the hell was he talking about? "Newbie, I'm sorry to interrupt you there but you've lost me."

He hunched over slightly, hiding his eyes from mine. "I stormed out of her like a kid."

I tried to suppress a smirk. "You are a kid. Compared to me, anyway." No matter how hard he tried to hide it, he couldn't – the wince at my reply was as clear as day, his entire body reacting to whatever had upset him...

"Yeah," he murmured, locking his fingers together, "I guess you're right. I am a kid."

A surge of annoyance spread through me. "Do you fancy telling me what it is that you've got your knickers in twist for? You've never been bothered about me calling you one before."

JD was still avoiding my stare, staring instead at his fingers. What he said next did nothing to alleviate the frustration he so endlessly inspired in me.

"Doesn't it... bother you? Dating someone half your age?"

"Are you calling me an old man?"

His eyes flew up to meet mine – finally, a response I was happy with! "No, no! Not old! You're in the prime of life, the best you'll ever be, the picture of health -"

"Pipe down," I grumbled, leaning back and resting my arm on the back of the couch, "I was only kidding. Why are you so suddenly concerned by the age gap? Is it because of Jack? Because I have a son? You never mentioned being bothered by it before."

"It's... it's not Jack," he said, the hesitance dripping from his tone. "I just... does it not feel weird being with someone like me when you could still be with Jordan?"

The growl was irrepressible. "Newbie, we talked about this -"

"And I'm not saying it for the same reasons as before," he interrupted, suddenly eager, his blue eyes locking onto mine as he tried to make his point, "I promise! It's just, you and Jordan, you're closer in age, have experienced more of life and love and all of those things and earlier you were so good together, joking and teasing and flirting like you used to -"

This growl was louder. "There was no flirting, Amanda. We just get on well. We've spent most of our lives together."

"And that," he said, shaking his hands to accent his words as the eagerness blazed in his open expression, "is why I'm asking. You have a son together, a life... doesn't it bother you that we have none of that? That I've barely experienced anything?"

It was all too repetitive for me; as far as I was concerned, I'd already explained myself in regards to this and I sure as hell wasn't going to explain myself any more. He kept talking.

"I came here to tell you that I'm genuinely okay with you going away with Jordan, Jack and Mrs... Jordan's mom. I wanted you to know that any decision you make in regards to your family, I'll be fine with it. I'll be happy. If you're happy. If you're happy, I'll be happy."

My jaw tightened. "Good thing I've already agreed to go with them."

The flush that he'd worked up into his cheeks from enthusiasm faded. "You... you have?"

"Of course. It's my son, JD, I can't not spend Christmas with him, as much as I re-he-heally hate this season."

For a few moments he simply stared at me, his gaze probing; did he really think he'd find out anything more just by scrutinizing my eyes?

Without warning, he threw himself back against the couch and slumped against it. "Good. Good."

I watched him intently. "Really? Even though you'll be here and I'll be there?"

He nodded. "Yes. Really."

Agitation flooded me as I failed to analyse whether he truly meant it or not. I turned to humour. "I'm no good at Christmas anyway. I don't decorate."

His eyes widened. "You don't? No tree? No tinsel? No... no fairy lights?"

"Nope."

"But I have this thing!" He sat forward, suddenly excited. "I have this penguin thing you could put in here, you press its flipper and it sings! I think there's a setting where if you pass by it, it sings... I'm not sure, but my favourite is when it sings 'Jingle Bell Rock' -" Suddenly his eyes were closed and he was swaying back and forth, a little smile on his lips. "Jingle bell, jingle bell, jingle bell rock -"

Within seconds my hands were framing his face, my lips ever so gently pressed against his – it muffled his singing (thank god) and froze him beneath my touch, forgetting for a moment to kiss me back; I loved that I still had that effect on him. I carefully kept the smug smile off of my face as I pulled away, keeping my hands cupped around his skin.

His beautiful blue eyes made my chest ache a little. So full of wonder. Admiration. Adoration.

Love.

It still amazed me that I wasn't running to the hills.

"JD," I said quietly, "if you stop singing festive songs now, I'll tell you pretty convincingly that I wish I could spend Christmas with you and only you."

He bit his lip. "Do I really have to stop?"

"Absolutely."

Frowning slightly, he nodded. "Okay. I'll stop." After a moment, a slight murmur - "Better be worth it..."

At that, I pushed him down to lay flat on the cushions of the couch, leaning my chest against his and brushed my lips against his briefly, trailing them along his jaw and down his throat, lingering their as I heard his breathing speed up, his heart racing – ha! I couldn't help it. I let out a small, growling laugh at his reaction to the simplest of affections before leaning up on one elbow, looking down at him momentarily, one hand still framing his face. He stared up at me, lost in the moment.

I smiled, a small smile. "JD."

He swallowed. "Yes?"

"If I could spend Christmas anywhere, with anyone..."

The embers in my chest started to tremble.

"If there was one thing that could make this season mean something to me..."

His eyes glittered; the embers grew to flames.

"If I could have absolutely anything in this world this Christmas..."

The pyre began.

"It would be you. With me. Anywhere."

He leaned up, our lips meeting, heat exploding between us – I pulled away quickly -

"Preferably naked."

He grinned, pulling his arms out from under me and wrapping them around my neck, pulling me closer as he kissed me, hard.

X X X X X

Two hours later -

"Was it really hard, saying that?"

I opened my eyes, staring into the fuzziness that was the back of his head.

"Not like I thought it would be."

FIN. (Of this chapter! Not the fic!)

Next on the agenda... CHRISTMAS SHOPPING! Hooray! :-P Wonder what they're gonna get each other?