Story: When Everything Changed
Summary: Something inside begins to protest her actions causing Bellatrix to question herself and those around her. How will her world as she knows it be affected? BL/HG
Rated: M
Disclaimer: J.K. Rowling owns everything. I am merely borrowing the characters to play my own little game with them.
A/N 1: Italics are a flashback. Also ** before a new paragraph after a break indicates a scene change. While xx means skipping further into that scene. I just wanted to clarify. Please let me know if these symbols aren't showing up.
A/N 2: Though I have edited this more than once I am sure there are still mistakes. This is unbetaed and all mistakes are mine.
A/N 3: Not the original. Revised and Reposted.
_
Bellatrix's POV
I remain silent in the shadows; his lips roam her neck, his hands tangle in her golden brown hair, and anger begins to rise within me. She tries to push him away. She tells him to stop but he won't listen. "Come on 'Mione it's been almost two weeks since the last time we…"
"Not right now Ronald."
"You always have an excuse!" He takes her wrists and forces her backward until she is pinned between his body and a tree.
Without warning my mind encloses me: unwanted lips against my skin, putrid scents, sharp teeth sinking into my flesh, causing unvoiced fear. Silent tears streaming down my cheeks and there is a harsh voice in my ear. I turn my head to the side attempting to clear the fragmented memories.
"Ron! Let me go." The sound of struggling brings me back. For now.
I slip my wand out of my robes. Quietly I advance on them. Hermione is too busy trying to release herself from Weasley's grasp to notice me. I jab my wand into the side of his head. "I wouldn't do that if I were you Ginger," I say. Instantly he lets go of Hermione.
The fear that exists not only in his eyes but in hers catches me off guard. "Bel…Bellatrix Lestrange, but you're supposed to be dead. This is impossible!"
"Yet I'm standing here in front of you, you filthy little blood traitor," my voice is hollow. I can feel the anger that surged through my veins for so long resurfacing. At the moment I could do anything and not feel drop remorse. Obliviate! Moving closer to the boy I whisper into his ear. "I want you to get out of my sight, and when you are back in your precious little room you will believe you have been there all along." I resist the urge to cause pain. To search for a release from this turmoil of emotions. Just for this moment I am back to my old self and it is wonderful.
I turn to Hermione; her wariness is evident. "Bellatrix?" She asks cautiously. I can feel myself weakening, and the darkness retreating. I struggle to keep my old comfort. I want to go back to who I was. It is torture having a conscious and having to live with guilt of what I have done.
"What?" I ask my voice is barely more than a whisper. Light footsteps sound before I find Hermione by my side. Her hand is on my arm but I refuse to meet her eyes.
"Thank you…it's been weeks Bella." The use of my nickname doubles the guilt she is instilling in me. "Where have you been? I've tried to reach you…I…I was worried," her voice fades with each word.
I look up at her and find everything I wish I never saw floating in the depths of her eyes. Worry, hurt, sorrow, confusion and….
Love.
I must be seeing things. All she knows is the destruction that follows me. She could not care about anyone with such a dark past. It would be foolish.
"Are you alright? He didn't hurt you did he?"
"No I'm fine." I can see the bruises forming on her wrists.
"Come with me," I say before wrapping her arm around mine and turning on the spot.
**
When our surroundings fill back in around us we are standing on a gradually sloping hill, which overlooks the clear night sky that meets the mountains. I sit and wait for Hermione to do the same.
"You can leave him," I suggest quietly.
"No I can't."
"Why not?"
"It's complicated."
"Not as complicated as what is to come in your relationship if you do not leave."
"You don't understand."
"So help me understand Hermione." I didn't to sound so kind or loving.
"I…I can't. Why do you care all of a sudden?" Her voice is sharp and accusing. A deadly anger flashes through her eyes. "You keep pulling me closer and pushing me away? What am I supposed to do Bella? Ignore it?"
"I'm sorry, Hermione. I know I'm not around as much as either of us would like. But when I'm here I'm trying. The circumstances aren't exactly idea, but at least we have the chance to be friends." The confidence that I had leaves me, and I am left staring at Hermione's hurt face. "I didn't mean to hurt you. I.. I care about you," I admit weakly. I want to tell her I was trying to protect her, but the truth is I've been trying to protect myself. I cannot bring myself to act as if I am a selfless friend. I will never be that type of person or friend.
I glance at Hermione and catch her examining me. There is something in her eyes, but as quickly as it was there it is gone.
She moves closer before resting her head on my shoulder and curls her body into mine. "I'm sorry," she whispers in my ear.
Warmth makes itself present within me. I wrap my arm around Hermione's back and pull her closer. "You can leave him."
"No I can't. His family is my family. His friends are my friends. If I hurt him…"
"You won't have anybody to fall back on," I know the situation all too well. "You will lose your sense of security when you are already confused. You will have people, Hermione. You have Professor McGonagall and you will have me." I hope that is the truth. I hope I can bring myself to be there for her. I have to start over. Hermione has offered to be there so why not with her?
I must have said something right because she drapes her arm across my front. An icy wind blows and she buries her face in my shoulder. I can still hear her when she mumbles, "I know."
Hermione is lying on the ground looking up at me. The tall grass around us keeps us hidden. She is waiting patiently for my answer. She wants to know if I will ever allow people to know that I am not dead.
I highly doubt the wizarding world would openly embrace my return. "Everybody can live peacefully believing that I am dead. Why take that away from them?"
"There are people out there that miss you, Bella. People who want to spend time with you without you always having to be hidden."
"Like who?"
"Me. I know for a fact that Dromeda misses you. She believes you left this world the way you would have wanted. That gives her some comfort. I can't promise that Tonks would react kindly toward you, but she does have a suspicion that you saved her in the battle. What you did was sweet."
"I didn't want another child to have to grow up parentless." I can see the ideas rushing through her head. "What are you thinking?"
She shrugs her shoulders. "Nothing."
**
"Hermione where are we go…" The familiar building looms in front of me. How many days have I stood here unseen? "No, Hermione."
"Come on Bella you'll have to do it sooner or later." She takes my hand and drags me across the yard toward my younger sister's house.
"Not this soon." How can I face her after all I have done? I can vividly picture the disgust that will cross Dromeda's face.
Is Hermione crazy? She is leading me right onto the front porch of an auror. My niece will be thrilled when one of the most wanted Death Eaters of all time walks into her house. Even better a Death Eater that is supposed to be dead.
Her wand taps on my head and it feels as if she just cracked an egg on my skull. As the cold trickles down my body I slowly disappear. When I am completely invisible Hermione knocks on the door. "I can't do this. I'm leaving." I hiss in her ear.
"No." Hermione grabs my wrist. "Please stay. This will be good for you."
"No, Hermione. There is a reason I haven't wanted anyone to know I'm not dead. If you were my friend you would respect that." She turns and hurt eyes probe where my body should be.
"I am your friend," she replies weakly. She releases me from her grasp and turns back toward the door. Guilt and anger toward myself floods my senses and causes me to remain where I am. Gently I place my hand on her arm so I don't get shut out of the house. She flinches at first but then relaxes into my touch.
As the door opens I lean into her ear and say in a barely audible voice, "I'm sorry."
The shock of coming face to face with my little sister paralyzes me: it's like looking in a mirror. The last time I saw her she was not even out of Hogwarts and she bore a great resemblance to my father; however, she was opposed to everything he stood for, which in turn, meant everything I stood for. Though I loved her I couldn't bear to look at her. When I left Hogwarts I cut off all ties with my family for years before I finally contacted Cissy.
Hermione is stalling in the doorway so that I can slip in behind her. Silently I take a deep breath before stepping inside. Nymphadora calls from the other room, "Who is it, Mom?"
"Hermione, dear," Dromeda replies. She pulls Hermione into a hug and I long to hold my little sister again. I didn't realize how much I have missed her.
I can't change who my family is, but I am beginning to realize that the family I spent so many years running away from held two of the most precious people in my life: my sisters.
Hermione's eyes land on me. When she does not divert her sad gaze Dromeda follows with her own eyes.
I follow them into the living room. I smile as my great-nephew crawls across the floor beaming and cooing away. My niece is sitting on the sofa watching him. Hermione bends over and scoops him up in her arms. "Hey Teddy! How's my little man doing?" She gives him a quick kiss on the forehead before letting the squirming infant return to his freedom on the floor.
He begins to crawl in my direction. Maybe if I stay where I am he will bump into me. It's not much but it will be the only contact I will ever have with my nephew.
I can feel more than one set of eyes on me, and for a moment I wonder if I have made a noise, however, two sets of eyes soon leave me. I'm too focused on watching Teddy to listen to the conversation going on around me. I have to dart out of the way when Dromeda gets up and barely misses walking directly into me on her way into the other room.
"Tonks, I need to tell you something," I can hear the nervousness in Hermione's voice and it puts me on edge.
"What is it sweetheart?" Hermione takes a seat next to my niece who has neon green hair at the moment.
"I know last time I was here I was acting weird, and I wanted to explain."
"Okay."
Hermione's gaze remains on her lap and Nymphadora's on Hermione. "What would you say if I told you that I know something that only two other people do? Or that it is something I feel others have the right to know too?" She isn't going to…
"Can you be more specific?"
"Bellatrix didn't die." She is.
Nymphadora stares blankly at Hermione. "Are you sure? I saw Molly kill her; everyone did."
"You saw what you were supposed to see. She's still alive. I've seen her."
"Did she hurt you? Where is she? Why haven't you reported this to the ministry?"
"No, she would never hurt me, and I didn't say anything because Bellatrix deserves a second chance."
"Are we talking about the same person?"
"Her death was planned. Mrs. Weasley was supposed to look like she killed Bella."
"Bella? Hermione, how many times have you seen her?"
"She's my friend."
Nymphadora pulls out her wand. I can hear her mutter something about the Imperious Curse.
"I'm not under the Imperious Curse, Tonks. Ask me something Bellatrix wouldn't know."
"What did you want to be when you were a child?"
"A dentist like my parents."
"I still find that cute. If what you are saying is true then why hasn't someone else come to the ministry with this information?"
"She didn't want anyone to know."
Hermione stands up and I begin to retreat. I know what she is doing and I am not ready. I back myself into the wall as Hermione's fingers wrap around the edge of my cloak and she gives the fabric a tug. I almost crash into her but catch myself just in time. She taps me with her wand and the odd sensation comes over me again.
I can feel a silencing spell fall over us as Nymphadora jumps off the couch and aims her wand at my chest. A green light streaks toward me; I notice a small movement out of the corner of my eyes as Hermione flicks her wrist and places a Protego charm between me and the killing curse. She then plants herself firmly in front of me with her wand pointed at my niece.
"You are going to have to put up more of a fight if you want to get to Bellatrix," Hermione says; her voice is eerily calm.
"I can't believe you, Hermione! I trusted you, Mom trusted you, and you bring a known mass murderer into our house without our knowledge."
"I told you she's changed."
"Even if she has what gives you the right to bring her into this house? Think about Mom and how she will feel if she finds out Bellatrix is here."
"That's who I am doing this for, Tonks! Dromeda and Bellatrix; not you, so back off."
"What did you just say to me?"
Nymphadora's eyes briefly flash red before she sends a stunning spell at Hermione. Hermione blocks it and counters. I am left watching as the two engage in a duel that is becoming increasingly heated. I don't want to take out my wand and risk Nymphadora interpreting it the wrong way.
As I wait for the two to calm down and stop I take the opportunity to watch Hermione in a real duel. The last time I saw her in a fight was when I dueled her and Ms. Weasley, and she wasn't even trying then, that much is clear as Tonks struggles to keep up. Give her a few more years and she could give Professor McGonagall a decent run for her money.
A misaimed spell shoots past Hermione's shoulder and directly at Teddy. Before either women notice I summon my magic and create a protective bubble around the child. The sound of the spell bouncing off my protective charm and hitting a shelf stops Hermione and Nymphadora in their tracks.
Hermione turns around and glances from Teddy to me and back again. Nymphadora looks shocked and frightened.
"She isn't even using her wand," Hermione mumbles more to herself than anyone else. The amazement in her tone is evident.
"Are you two finished?" I ask. "Or are you hell bent on injuring the one innocent person in this room?"
Nymphadora is still staring blankly at me. Hermione looks at her. "Please give Bellatrix a chance Tonks. For Dromeda."
My niece finally reacts by glancing at her son still encased in the protective spell and then back at me. "Bellatrix."
"Nymphadora," I nod my head toward her.
She crosses the room toward her son and I end my spell. I watch her pick up Teddy as she removes the silencing spell that she cast on the room. Hermione comes and stands next to me. She squeezes my hand quickly before letting go.
"Everything okay in there, Mom? You're taking a while," Tonks yells.
"Everything is fine dear. I got carried away tiding up the kitchen," My sister replies. The quietness of her voice indicates she is on her way into the room.
"I made some..." My stomach lurches as my little sister appears. Her eyes land on me and the tray in her hands slips. I hear Hermione mutter the spell to catch it before it hits the ground as my attention begins to narrow in on the woman standing in the entrance of the living room.
Her hands dart to her mouth and I step forward. "Hello Dromeda."
"Bellatrix." I watch as she automatically responds by taking out her wand and pointing it at me. My heart sinks at her actions, but I find a small smile turning the edge of my lips as Hermione defensively steps in front of me once more: her wand at her side.
"We've already covered this," Tonks informs her mother quietly.
"I don't understand," My sister puts her wand away and Hermione goes and sits on the couch; followed by Tonks and Teddy. "You can't be here; you died, and even if you didn't you wouldn't be here. I haven't seen you in decades."
"But I am." I must have said the right thing, because Dromeda rushes over to me and hugs me. At first I am shocked, but I quickly respond by wrapping my arms around her and kissing her head. I notice Nymphadora and Hermione leaving out of the corner of my eye. Dromeda begins to shake in my arms and I pull her closer to me. "I thought you died...I...You left Bella...We needed you and...Died..."
"Shhh. I know." She begins to cry harder, and I tighten my grip on her. "I'm not going anywhere this time. I promise."
"I needed you...I was so young...and Daddy...and you were gone."
"I'm sorry," Everything inside me is shattering. "I'm so sorry little angel." Dromeda lifts her head from my shoulder and looks at me. The tears and pain on her face is like a stab at my soul. Squeezing me Dromeda pulls out of our embrace and wipes away her tears.
"It's been a while since you called me your little angel." There is a sad smile playing on her lips.
"You've always been my little angel, Andromeda. I've missed you."
"And I've missed you, but you have to understand this is all so confusing."
I nod, "You have to believe me when I say I've wanted to let you know I am still alive. I guess I just needed a little push. We both have Hermione to thank for that." My mind wanders back to Hermione, and I realize that she is constantly nudging me in positive directions that I can't go by myself.
Dromeda takes my hand in hers and whispers in my ear, "I knew there was still my big sister left in you somewhere." I look at her and smile. "Tonks, can you come back in here?"
Nymphadora re-enters the room cautiously followed by Hermione who is holding Teddy. I lock eyes with Hermione and the twinkle I find is overwhelming. "Yeah, Mom?"
"Sit. We are going to have some long awaited family time with your aunt." Nymphadora takes a seat in one of the recliners and Hermione sits on the couch. I take a seat next to Hermione and watch Teddy tug at Hermione's hair.
"Do you want to hold him?" Hermione asks me quietly. I look at her and nod. Glancing up I can see how tense Nymphadora is.
"That is, if it is all right with you Nymphadora." I can tell she is struggling to keep her expression as emotionless as possible. She turns her attention to Dromeda who nods at her.
"Okay. Please call me Tonks though. Not because I suddenly like you, but because I detest my name."
"Fair enough." I smile at her and take Teddy in my arms. He beams up at me and begins to make cooing sounds. I can't help but watch with amusement as he jabbers away while he plays with my necklace.
"Bella," I look up at Hermione, "Why don't you tell us about the past year or so. I think Dromeda and Tonks have the right to know what is going on."
I nod at Hermione and then look up at my sister and my niece. "It all started the night I followed Cissy to Severus Snape's…"