Story: When Everything Changed

Summary: Something inside begins to protest her actions causing Bellatrix to question herself and those around her. How will her world as she knows it be affected? BL/HG

Rated: M

Disclaimer: J.K. Rowling owns everything. I am merely borrowing the characters to play my own little game with them.

A/N 1: Italics are a flashback. Also ** before a new paragraph after a break indicates a scene change. While xx means skipping further into that scene. I just wanted to clarify. Please let me know if these symbols aren't showing up.

A/N 2: Though I have edited this more than once I am sure there are still mistakes. This is unbetaed and all mistakes are mine.

A/N 3: Not the original. Revised and Reposted.
_

Bellatrix's POV

There is hair in my face. Groaning I open my eyes and a blanket of light brown hair can be seen. It takes me a moment to realize that it is too light to be my hair. Brushing it out of my face I turn my head to the side and my stomach drops. Hermione is lying in bed next to me: sound asleep. There is a pounding in my head and it only increases as I try to remember what happened last night. Why is Hermione here?

Carefully I get out of bed. Grabbing some clothes I head for the shower. I shouldn't have gotten drunk last night. I should never get drunk it only brings back haunting memories and fills me with self-pity.

Turning on the water I step into it. It is warm and soothing. My mind wanders back to Hermione. What is she doing here? I hurt her.

It felt so right having her warm boy curled up against mine. I could wake up like that every day. I push the stray thought away, but it keeps coming back. Thinking further back I realize there have been times when I've wanted to hold her in my arms. When I've contemplated falling asleep at night with Hermione next to me.

My thoughts may be innocent at the moment, but they are not right. Hermione is so young. Younger than my own niece. Our friendship unstable and I would luck if we could ever be proper friends. Yet, when I am with her none of that matters. It doesn't seem like she is any younger than me when we talk. I've never thought of her as anything less than an equal.

It wish I could talk to Hermione about this; once I open up to her what is bothering me is no longer as heavy of a burden. I have so many issues though, and I have done so many things that I would never tell Hermione about, because she would leave. I always wonder what makes her waste her time on me while I sit and watch her twinkling eyes and loving smile.

Turning off the shower I get dressed and ready for the day. Quietly I walk downstairs. Dromeda is busy in the kitchen making breakfast. "Good morning Bella." She says too loudly for my sensitive ears.

I mumble back "Morning." And take a seat at the table. I am cradling my head in my hands afraid that at any moment it will split in two when I hear footsteps coming down the stairs and Dromeda sets a potion in front of me for my head. "Thanks" Taking a swig of the foul tasting potion there it is an instant relief.

"Hermione dear, I didn't know that you were here," Dromeda says. I look up at Hermione whose eyes are locked on me. She sends me a shy smile. I nod at her and decided it is best if I ignore the fact that I woke up in bed with her.

I return my attention to the thick, brown, disgusting potion that is in the glass I am holding, and wonder how something that looks so repulsive and uninviting can take away so much pain.

"I came over late last night. Tonks said it was okay if I spent the night. I hope you don't mind," I keep my eyes focused downward as I pay rapt attention to the conversation taking place beside me.

"That's perfectly all right. Is everything okay?"

"Fine. I broke up with Ron and decided it was best if I found another place to stay until I can get my own place." My head shoots up at her comment. I examine her closely trying to judge her mood.

"I'm sorry sweetie. Feel free to stay here as long as you like."

"Thank you." Hermione turns and locks eyes with me before I have time to divert my gaze. She weakly smiles at me and this time I can't help but smile back. I watch as the nervousness seeps from her expression. Never have I seen without worry and guilt, however, in this moment I catch sight of it and it's nice. She is beautiful.

I need to stop having thoughts like that.

Hermione takes a seat next to me. In a low voice she says, "Can we talk?"

"After breakfast." She nods.

"Are you feeling better sis?" Dromeda asks.

"Much. You are a life saver. You know that right?"

She chuckles. "I try to help when I can. Luckily for you there is a simple cure for hangovers." This causes Hermione to snort. She quickly covers her mouth with her hand to avoid spewing coffee all over the table. I raise an eyebrow at her and she blushes.

"Do you want some coffee?" Hermione asks.

"I'll try some."

Her eyes go wide in disbelief. "You've never had coffee before?"

I shake my head no, "There have always been other things to drink."

I think she understands what I am hinting at. Coffee is a muggle drink. She hands me her cup. "Here." I take a sip. Warm liquid rushes into my mouth, it is bitter even with sugar and leaves a funny aftertaste in my mouth. I scrunch my face and Hermione smirks. Even though it is gross I feel a need for another sip. Hermione rolls her eyes at me. "I knew you would like it."

I give her back her cup. "I don't."

"If you say so."

"Breakfast is ready." I get up and Hermione follows suit. I motion for her to sit back down. She sends me a questioning look.

I retrieve two plates and fill them with food. I set one in front of Hermione and then sit back down. "Thanks."

"No problem."

"Hey Dromeda where's Tonks?" Hermione asks after my sister joins us at the table.

"She had to go in early for work. Which reminds me the post came and there was a letter for you." She reaches back and then passes Hermione the parchment. She opens it and I watch as her hazel eyes scan the page.

"What is it?"

"I have an interview for the auror position I applied for next week."

Dromeda smiles, "That's great!" I nod in agreement.

Finishing my food I take care of my plate and wander outside to wait for Hermione. Wanting privacy I move around the side of the house and take a seat under the tree next to the garden. I hear the screen door close. After a few minutes Hermione appears. She sits in front of me and crosses her legs.

Her eyes search me and make me want to squirm under their gaze. "I think you did the right thing," I say quietly. All morning I could sense her uneasiness and have had a feeling she has been questioning her choice in leaving Ron. Why wouldn't she? He was her safety net and one of her best friends.

"I do to. I'm still just...I can't explain." I nod.

"I wouldn't expect you to be able to. From what you've told Mr. Weasley has been an important part of your life for a very long time." When Hermione focuses her attention back on me there is such a mixture of emotions in her eyes I can't decipher them all. Some I recognize but a few I'm not certain I want to know.

She nods her head. I notice her eyes glossing over as they fill with tears. I don't know what to do. I want to reach out and comfort her, but I don't want to make her nervous. Will I make her nervous? She was in my bed this morning. She clears her throat, "About last night, or this morning I guess. I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable by sleeping in your bed."

I doubt she would enjoy hearing that I'm wishing I could start the morning over and hold her in my arms while she sleeps. "You didn't," She raises an eyebrow at me. "It's not like we haven't slept in the same bed before." Once and possibly again? Her expression conveys that she is slightly more convinced.

"I'm also sorry about yesterday. I shouldn't have..."

"Don't apologize." She looks surprised. "The past is the past. If you can put aside what I've done and try to be friends with me I can forget something as small as a touch. I overreacted and I'm sorry."

"Okay." She appears to be confused yet relieved. I can tell her mind is wander as her eyes become distant. I'm not going to make the same mistake she did yesterday.

Instead I wait. I look at her hands. I could reach out and take one but I am hesitant. Hermione is always the one to reach out. Would she feel differently if I reached out to her? I gaze at her hand for a few more seconds and then glance at her. She is still lost in though. Cautiously I reach my hand out and let it hover over hers. When she doesn't respond negatively, or at all, I rest my hand on hers.

She comes back from where ever she was and glances at our intertwined fingers. Her eyes lock with mine as a smile appears on her face. She links our fingers and gives my hand a squeeze. I can't stop a small smile from becoming present on my face.

Hermione slides a little closer to me. "You know Bella. You seem to know a lot about me, but I don't know that much about you." I stop breathing for a moment as panic seizes me. This is the moment I've been dreading. Stay calm; maybe you can give her small facts.

"What do you want to know?" That was a bad idea. I shouldn't have said that. I can't take it back now can I?

She opens her mouth and then closes it and reconsiders. "What was it like growing up as a Black?" Difficult subject. I try not to wince. I don't have to tell her everything just enough.

"We'll I'm certain you already know that from talking with…talking with Sirius, or Dromeda."

"Not really. Harry probably does." It is a torture like no other, being able to feel. Sirius' face when I hit him with Avada Kedavra floats in front of my eyes. I can feel my lungs constricting. My own flesh and blood! How could I? I'm a monster; I was a monster. Is that person still somewhere inside of me?

I look at Hermione. I try to see what she sees in me, but all I can see is a murderer, a liar, and a betrayer. "Bella you don't have to answer. I didn't realize the question was so personal."

I rip my hand from Hermione's and hurt flashes across her face. What is wrong with me? Every little thing is a trigger. "How do you do it Hermione?" I ask in a shaky voice. "How do you look at me and see anything other than what everyone else does or did? How can you even look at me?" Shock spreads across her face. She reaches out for me but I move from her reach.

"Bella you saved my life."

"So that's it? One good deed erases the millions of others?"

"What do you mean that's it?" Her voice remains calm even though mine is starting to go up. "You've saved countless numbers of people by helping stop Voldemort."

"I took countless others including my own flesh and blood." She's tries to reach out for me again, but I refuse to let her touch me. She shifts grabbing my wrist and I try to get out of her grasp. "I'm a murderer," I can see their faces full of pain and fear. The old, the women, the children, the parents, the innocent, and I didn't care. Hermione grabs my other wrist and straddles my legs so that we are face to face.

"Look at me." I can't. I should be dead. Not here "Bella." I let my body slack. I know I should be dead. Nobody like me deserves a second chance. I gaze into her eyes defeated. "You've changed. You are not the same person as the one who's memory haunts you. You are better than that. You would never take a life. I know you wouldn't."

"How do you know? You see the person you want to see. What if I haven't changed? What if I can't change?"

I've convinced myself that living the way I used to would be easier, and maybe it would be, but eventually I know it would all catch up with me. What if I haven't changed? What if one day all that anger, and all that hate come back and morph me back into a state of numbness. Everything was like a film play out before me. Nothing mattered; no one mattered because I was safe. Not their fear or their pain those emotions only encouraged me.

A soft, strong hand on my face guides me out of my thoughts. Hermione's worried eyes are watching me closely. "You have changed, Bella. I know you can't see it but I can, and I want to help you see it too."

For the first time I notice how close she is to me. The warmth of her body against mine is familiar and comforting. I can feel my body temperature rise a few degrees as I think about her body touching mine. Her lips are only a few inches away from mine now, and when I look into her eyes I can see she is noticing the same thing I am. Neither of us tries to pull away.

My eyes flicker down to her lips. What would she do if I kissed her? If I brushed her lips with mine to find out whether they are really as soft as they appear? I allow my eyes to wander back up to hers. They hold hope and confusion.

Where is this coming from all of a sudden? I have enjoyed being close to Hermione, but I never thought I wanted to do more than hold her in my arms. It does not matter what I want I know nothing can happen. She refuses to see the bad in me and I can see nothing else within myself.

However, that does not mean Hermione has to move from her spot on my lap. When I re-enter the world from my cloud of thoughts I notice that Hermione's eyes are no longer focused on mine, but on my lips.

I can hear voices coming from the bottom of the driveway; just out of sight. Hermione and I scramble apart and stand as far away from each other as possible. I recognize two of the voices to belong to Potter and Weasley, but the third is only vaguely familiar. "Bella, get inside."

I look at Hermione. "No." She raises an eyebrow at me. "Not until I know what they want and that you are safe."

"Fine, but get out their line of view before Harry..." It's too late. The boxes the three were levitating crash to the ground as their eyes rest upon me.

As the two red headed boys sputter at the sight of me a cry of outrage escapes Potter which brings the others to their senses. "YOU DIDN'T DIE? AFTER ALL YOU DID AND YOU'RE STILL NOT DEAD! AFTER SIRIUS..." His voice cracks. He whips out his wand as he advances on me and the other boys follow suit. "Hermione get away from her she'll hurt you." Harry says. My eyes dart toward Hermione who is slowly inching toward me.

I reach for my wand and realize I left it upstairs. "Shit," I mumble. A shield charm erupts from Hermione's wand so strong it forces both Potter and I back.

"Hermione what are you doing?" Harry looks bewildered and so don't the other two boys. Wait, no, men?

"Hermione you're not...protecting her are you?" Comes Ron's gentle voice. I can hear the love and sadness in his tone. Hermione's attention is drawn to him and her shield falters as she loses focus.

All of the men take advantage of this, even Ron, who does it half-heartedly. Before I can move I have three stunning charms flying at me. Before I can summon a blocking charm Hermione screams and it is over.

I stare down in disbelief at Hermione's limp body. She blocked the spells. She jumped in front of me and used her body as a shield. Harry, Ron, and the other Weasley are looking just as surprised as I feel. Getting down on my knees I check her pulse and let out a sigh of relief when I find there still is one.

"Y…You get away from her." Ron says shakily. Glancing up at him I can see his wand pointed down at me. I move to pick her up, "I'm warning you!"

"Mr. Weasley," my voice makes all three young men jump, "Take her wand, and you can keep your wands on me, but we need to get Hermione inside. Dromeda used to work as a healer. She will know what to do." I slide my arms under Hermione easily.

"I'll do it," Ron says and I ignore him.

Lifting her I hold her close to me. I am gripped by fear. I could care less about the fact that I am unarmed and there are three wands pointed at my back. Hermione protected me and look what happened. This is my fault. "Can one of you open the door?" I can feel Harry's eyes burning a hole in my back. However he will not strike while Hermione's life is at risk. Truthfully I won't defend myself if he does.

Ron rushes forward and opens the door. "Dromeda!" I call out as soon as I step through the door.

"Dromeda!"

"For heaven's sake Bella you don't have to yell I'm not…" At the sight of Hermione she rushes over, "What's happened?" She briefly scans her new guests.

"Stunning spells. Three," Is all I can manage to say as my worry increases.

"Oh my…" She says quietly. "Bring her upstairs to your room. Boy's if you could help me bring up a few books." They nod but it is obvious they are not willing to leave me alone with Hermione.

I take the first step and move towards the stairs. I tighten my grip on the unconscious form in my arms. I manage to carry Hermione up the stairs without and major difficulties. Carefully I set her on the bed, but I am reluctant to let her go. "Bella," Dromeda's kind voice says quietly. I turn to her but avoid her eyes. I know that she can read me like a book and I do not need to give her any more evidence for the underlining suspicion in her voice. "Go wait downstairs sweetie." I nod but don't move. Instead I gaze at Hermione. The guilt and fear is overwhelming. "Bella."

My legs are lead and the door seems to be moving further away as I try to make my way through it. When I finally make it into the hallway I collapse against the wall and sink to the floor. A bitter laugh escapes me. Maybe now she will believe that being around me isn't worth it.

**
After hitting my face with cold water to calm down I make my way back to the bedroom. I hear a male voice talking and stop in the doorway. I am hidden from view of anyone in the dark room. "What have you gotten yourself into Hermione?" The voice belongs to Mr. Weasley. Everyone else has gone home. "I don't know why you were defending her, but you must have seen something in her. The problem is people like her, people like Bellatrix Lestrange cannot change."

Quietly I step into the room. "I was trying to convince her of the same thing before you showed up Mr. Weasley." I see his silhouette jump in shock.

He mutters "Lumos," and points the light at me. It is blinding, but I do not look away.

The sight of Hermione brings tears back to my eyes and my effort to hide them is in vain. Ron is in shock. "She refused to listen." Crossing the room I kneel next to the bed.

I can feel his eyes examining me but I don't care. All I can think about is Hermione. My eyes wander over her angelic features. She is so pale.

"Maybe she was right," Ron's voice startles me. I turn to meet his eyes, but he has already gotten up and is leaving the room.

Sighing I allow my eyes to focus back on Hermione. "Don't worry Hermione he's not going anywhere any time soon. He'll always be your friend even if he is a git sometimes."

**
Opening my eyes I wonder if this is it. If this is the day that Hermione will wake up. It has been three days. Dromeda said she should be fine, that her body is only resting, but still there are no guarantees.

The first thing I note is Hermione has rolled over. I am pressed against her back and have no inclination to move. However, someone has chosen this moment to knock on the door and I am forced to break away from her.

Getting up I grab my wand and do a quick cleaning spell leaving me ready for the day. I open the door and Dromeda bustles in with her supplies. I watch closely as she examines Hermione. She sees my hopeful expression and smile at me. "Is she..."

"Sleeping." Dromeda announces cheerfully causing a smile to appear on my face. I take my seat leaning against the wall next to her on the bed. "Harry, Ron, and George are here." I nod. "Should I tell them to come up?" I ask as I think about having to face Potter and see the rage in his eyes one more time.

"Let's wait and see what she wants." I hide my relief and smile at the fact I will get to be the first person to spend time with Hermione.

Dromeda examines me with a knowing eye. "Be careful with her, Bella." I raise an eyebrow at her and nod. I am hoping that she isn't thinking what I believe she is.

I focus my unwavering attention on Hermione and after five minutes she stirs and lets out a groan. I scramble up to her side. "Hermione?"