Chapter 8
Friday, May 10
The Ryans' Apartment
12:45 pm
"Coming!" Jenny Ryan called toward the front door, after the second knock.
Before unlocking the dead bolt, she peeked through the peep hole and then sighed. "Didn't you get my text?", she greeted Lanie and Esposito as the door swung open.
"Yes, but we came anyway." Javier, who wore his dress uniform, removed his hat and stepped into the apartment allowing enough room for his girlfriend to follow.
"I just don't think I can go. Everything is still so... raw."
Lanie, who was wearing a dark navy dress, wrapped an arm around her friend's narrow shoulders. "I know Honey, it's hard on all of us. It's only been ten days. But he wants you there. This memorial service is important. You know he'd be there if he could."
"I know. I'm just so emotional right now. I can't seem to stop crying whenever I think about all of it."
Espo, who could be so gruff sometimes, softened. "Jenny, that's OK. Trust me, I've been to funerals almost every day for a week. You won't be alone. It's part of the grieving we're all doing. Now come on, go get dressed. We'll go, and if you want to leave after we're there, I'll bring you home."
"You don't have to do that Javi. I can take care of myself."
"I know you can, but I made a promise."
Jenny seemed to relax as she looked from Javi to Lanie and back again. "You're a good friend."
"I know I am. So after the ceremony, let's head to the hospital and remind your husband of that. I haven't talked to him since yesterday morning, and I'm thinking he's due for me to go yank his chain again."
Jenny nodded and headed toward her room. "I was there all morning Javi, and all he talks about is how you saved his life. We'll never be able to thank you enough. I'm a wreck cuz I can't stop thinking about how close I came to losing him. I don't know what I'd be like if I actually had."
"I'd do anything for Kev, you know that. But if you do want to thank me, and you haven't picked a baby name... "Javier Ryan" has a certain ring to it."
Lanie rolled her eyes but outright laughed when he tagged on, "Or Javianna, if it's a girl."
By now Jenny was almost in her room, but called back, "Um, yeah. We love you dearly, but don't hold your breath!"
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Friday, May 10
Bellevue Hospital
1:00 pm
The IV pump bubbled and clicked, the heart monitor beeped its steady rhythm, and gentle snoring hummed from under the starched white sheet covering the lump on the bed. That is, until the plastic food tray being plopped onto the portable table startled the patient awake.
"So sorry, Sir. I not mean to wake you," the old, accented woman from food service cooed. "Your lunch is here."
The handsome man rubbed sleep from his blue eyes. "It's OK, thanks."
The tiny lady scurried from the room with a nod and a smile, leaving the man alone with his meal. The scent of the food had him wrinkling his nose, but either due to curiosity or extreme hunger, he bravely lifted the lid. A slice of dried out bread, a cup of yellow, sugar-free jello, canned peaches and overcooked broccoli surrounded a gray slab of meat, that was most likely being passed off as a pork chop.
He wanted to cover the entire thing back up, but his stomach growled with such intensity, that he grabbed the spoon and jello and decided to make the best of it.
By the forth bite of gelatin, which tasted like lemon floor cleaner, a rapid knock sounded at the door and was followed by the familiar staccato of stilettos on tile. His savior had arrived!
Kate Beckett, who had a large bag of takeout in her good hand, awkwardly pulled back the curtain with her casted arm, which was still in a sling.
"Kate is that food for me?"
"Some of it is."
"I knew there was a reason I loved you," Castle laughed as he packed up the hospital fare.
"Cuz I bring you Remy's? And here I though it was because of my talents with ice cubes."
Rick groaned. "Beckett. I thought we agreed to no more teasing until I can get home and return the favor."
"I know, but it's just so easy." Kate bent down to plant a kiss on Rick's lips, but he surprised her by wrapping his arms around her and holding her there for a much deeper embrace.
As soon as the kiss ended, she wiped her mouth. "Good lord, Castle what have you been eating? Lemon Pledge?"
"No, hospital jello. Want some."
"Not unless I'm worried about dust build up on my mouth. Gross."
Castle reached for the red and white striped paper sack. "Then lets hurry and eat the good stuff before it gets cold. What did ya bring me?"
"Pot roast sandwich on a pretzel roll, onion rings and a chocolate caramel shake."
"Mmmmmm. You do care!"
"Of course I do. Aaaaaaaaaaand I spoke to your nurse. After we're done, she's gonna come get you set up in a wheelchair and we can go for a walk."
"Thank you." Rick caught Kate's attention and held her in a stare, but the heat built so quickly Kate eventually had to look away, slightly flushed. "I miss you."
"I miss you too."
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Friday, May 10
Bellevue Hospital ICU
1:15 pm
A middle aged nurse in starched pink scrubs, stood at the room's computer, charting. "Well your fever's down and your white count is where we want it. Looks like you're finally beating the infection, Detective."
"Thank God. I can't wait to eat real food again."
"I know, but trust me when I say, if you ate while your gut was all torn up and infected like it was, you would have been in so much pain you would have begged us to leave these tubes in forever so you'd never have to eat again."
"Yeah, I guess," Kevin sighed and turned his head to look out the window. The city was bright and sunny today; the sky, a crisp, spring blue. It didn't do much for his attitude though. "Say, Carla, I heard that down on the general floor, they were going to set up a lounge for patients from the 12th, so they could watch the memorial service. Any chance I can get down there and see it too? I lost friends and coworkers. I've already missed funerals and now I can't be at the memorial service. It would mean a lot."
The brunette closed the computer terminal and turned toward her patient. "I know it would. But you're in ICU for a very good reason. You're just beginning to rebound from a nasty infection, and you haven't been out of bed since you were pulled out of the building. I wish I could tell you it's possible, but it just isn't. I'm sorry."
"I knew you were going to say that."
"I can get the TV set up in here so you can still watch it."
"I've got it. Thanks anyway."
The tall woman turned toward the door, "Need anything else?"
"No."
"Well you know how to reach me if you do."
Kevin turned on the TV and flipped through every channel. So far, none of the coverage had started yet, but the ceremony didn't actually start until two. At 2:32, the same time of day as the explosion, there would be a moment of silence. Following that, the names of the victims who died would be read, which last he heard had reached seventeen, only two days earlier when one of the precinct's maintenance men passed away in the hospital from his injuries.
His abdomen throbbed despite the bevy of pain medications pumping through him. When he tried to sleep it annoyed him, but right now it was a reminder that he was still alive, even though he shouldn't be.
So many people gone. So many lives cut short.
A knock on the door interrupted his thoughts.
"Come in."
An older gentleman with hunched shoulders and wearing a dark suit shuffled in. When he reached the end of the bed and straitened up, his white clerical collar began the introductions he hadn't yet spoken.
"Detective Kevin Ryan, I'm Father Patrick Seaver. How are you doing this afternoon?"
"I'm... surviving."
"Well that's a good start, I'd say. I know you've already talked with my friend Father Francis the last couple days, but he's away for his niece's wedding this weekend, so I thought I'd stop in and see if you needed anything or if you'd like to pray together."
Ryan swallowed hard and looked away. "I'm sorry Father, but I don't think I can yet."
"At least you're honest. And God understand your pains, even when you don't. He knows your heart and mind. Would you like to talk about it?"
"Not really."
"Perhaps with time. Rest assured though Son, you and the many others involved with the collapse are in many people's prayers today, including mine." The elderly clergy reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a business card, handing it to Kevin. "If you need anything, day or night, just call."
"Thank you, Father."
Another knock sounded at the door. The priest smiled, and shuffled toward the entrance. "Looks like you have company, Son, but remember, you can call me anytime."
The older man left before the new arrival entered. At first Kevin couldn't see who was coming in, but a foot, then a leg in a cast, appeared as Rick Castle wheeled himself in.
"Castle!" Ryan laughed.
"And Beckett too", she announced as her head peeked around the corner.
"Oh my god, what a sight for sore eyes. How are you guys doing?"
By now Castle's wheelchair was parked so that he could see both Ryan in bed, and Kate who'd sat down in the chair beside the bed. "I'd love to get out of here, but I had to have another surgery yesterday to repair this leg now that it's not infected anymore. I might get to leave tomorrow, but it'll be months before I'm done with all the treatments and physical therapy. But in the big scheme of things, not so bad, huh?"
"No, not so bad. How bout you, Beckett? Jenny said your wrist was in pretty bad shape."
"Yeah, I shattered two bones in my wrist and fractured three others in my hand and lower arm. Thank God it was my left hand, so I should still be able to use my piece and stuff when I get back. Right now it doesn't seam as if there's any permanent nerve damage and that was their biggest concern."
"You're in street clothes, so I assume you've been released?"
"Yes, I was only stuck here two days for the smoke inhalation and surgical recovery. I definitely got off easier than you guys."
Ryan nodded. "Jenn mentioned that you'd stopped by a couple times but that I was always asleep."
"It's good to see those blue eyes open again. You gave us all a hell of a scare."
"I didn't think I'd make it out of there. If Javi hadn't found me when he did..." He let the words hang in the air. They didn't need to be said. Everyone there understood all too well.
Castle nodded. "I know what you mean. We, uh, we said our goodbyes too." Rick glanced at Kate, and for a second they were back in the elevator under tons of building remains. Her lip trembled so she bit it and looked away, letting Castle resume his conversation with Ryan. "If it hadn't been for that smoke that got trapped in the elevator shaft, we probably would have been fine til rescue arrived. That's what got us. They think we were unconscious for a while before they finally got through, but somehow the smoke didn't win."
Kevin glanced back and forth between his friends, who both still had bruises and cuts that were visible. "How? I mean, I'm so relieved, but was it going unconscious that saved you?"
Kate shifted her arm in it's sling. "Gates said that they think what happened, was that sometime, probably not long after we were overcome, they removed the debris from over the shaft allowing the toxic air to escape even before they could get to us, and that's what saved us. I don't remember much but it was sometime around dawn when they pulled us out. I remember being loaded into the ambulance and the rising sun was just hitting the buildings."
"Yeah," Castle nodded. "I remember that too, It was too bright to open my eyes after all the time in that dark hole."
"Wow. Well I'm happy you made it. I'm soooo happy.."
The couple shared an emotionally laced smile. "We are too. It's a miracle our whole team got out."
The three silently fell into their respective thoughts. People they worked beside every day for years, were now gone. It really was a miracle that their team was still in-tact.
Castle sobered. "It'll never be the same."
Ryan looked away so that his friends wouldn't see the tears that threatened to spring up. When he did, he noticed that the TV was now beginning its coverage of the memorial. "Guys, it's time for the service. You mind sticking around and watching with me?"
Castle turned his chair so that he could see, and Kate reached out her hand to the man she considered a brother. "Of course."
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Friday, May 10
Central Park Memorial For The 12th
1:50 pm
Jim Beckett stood until Martha took her seat and then joined her. Since Rick and Kate couldn't be there, they would be representing them instead.
He leaned in toward her and dropped his voice for her ears only. "You know Martha, I'm not going to lie. This is the second time we've been to something like this together, and I can only hope it's the last."
"From your mouth to God's ears, Jim. Ya know, when Richard started following Kate, I was amused. When I realized how much danger they were in every day, I grew concerned. Now that I've seen them cheat death so many times, there are some nights, I go to bed terrified that I may never see them again."
"You're preaching to the choir, my friend."
"But you know what? This event, as tragic and as horrifying as it is, reminded me of something. This explosion wasn't directed at them. It wasn't some crazy criminal with a vendetta. It wasn't even them putting their lives on the line for others. It was a freak gas line accident. It could have happened anytime, anywhere. You can't always control life, even if you're being careful or living safely. Of course I hope I'm gone, long, long before my son, but until our final days come, we need to simply live our lives to the fullest."
Jim nodded and adjusted his sunglasses. "We have good kids. I couldn't do what they do every day."
Martha shook her head. "Me either."
"At least they have each other through it all."
"Sometimes I think they keep each other going when they shouldn't be able to anymore."
"Oh, I don't just think that. I'm sure of it. The day my wife was killed, part of Katie was too. The light of life went out of her eyes and stayed hidden for so long, I stopped looking for it. But then the first time she told me about the irritating writer who was shadowing her, I saw that spark return, and it's grown over the last years. It's wonderful to finally see her truly live again."
Martha, was going to add something, but the music which had been playing softly, faded and a hush fell over the crowd. She pulled back from her friend and sat up straighter in time to see the mayor approach the podium. She may spend more time than she cared to admit, worrying that Rick's life would end soon, but she had to agree with Jim, at least he was embracing the life he had.
"Friends, family and members of the 12th Precinct, I welcome you today with open arms and a heavy heart..."
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Friday, May 10
Alexis' Dorm Room
2:15 pm
Alexis raced back from class, into her building, down the hall and into her room. Quickly she tossed her jacket and bag onto the chair, sat on her bed, and turned on the TV. All the local news stations were covering the memorial, so it wasn't hard to find what she was looking for.
The camera panned over the large crowd gathered in the park. She knew that people directly affiliated with the 12th, like her Gram and Jim, were seated in white chairs in the center of the screen, while the public stood around the perimeter in droves. The stage up front, hosted officials, speakers and honored guests, while a choir on risers flanked one side and a small orchestra flanked the other. Behind the stage, were three flag poles holding the city, state and national flags, all of which were at half mast. And in front of the stage, facing the crowd, were large photos of all those who'd died.
A handsome man, that the bottom of her screen identified as Paul Whittaker, fiance' of fallen officer, Ann Hastings, addressed the crowd eloquently, with words of remembrance and respect, honoring every soul living and dead who was part of that day. From those who lost their lives, to the ones who risked theirs to rescue others. The man with the light brown beard let his voice carry over the crowd, blanketing them in a soothing comfort that he seemed to radiate, despite his own obviously painful loss.
Alexis bit her lip as she watched, taking it all in. She wished there had been more that she could have done that day. She wished there was something she could do now. She had wanted to be there now, but she'd already missed so much class time, first at the site and then at the hospital, that she was on the verge of having to repeat several of them. So Gram and her father convinced her it was OK not to be there today as well. But having their blessing didn't make her feel any better.
Out of the corner of her eye, her messenger bag caught her attention. She'd just come from her English class, where the assignment for the final exam had been to pick a person, an event, a random day, or something that may have been overlooked or forgotten, and immortalize them on paper. Her eyes refocused on the screen as the crowd respectfully applauded Mr. Whittaker. This whole event had received a lot of press. Would it ever be forgotten? But her mind drifted to other events that had shook the country, events that in all honesty were much more horrific and mind numbing than even this, hurricanes, earthquakes, school shootings, 9-11. She could remember the events themselves. She could remember the fear, the anger, the hurt, the pain. But for the love of her, she couldn't remember a single name of a victim or hero alike. Was she so self absorbed that people she at one point swore she'd never forget, were now hard to recall at all?
Captain Gates approached the microphone next and called for a moment of silence, then, after two whole minutes, began slowly reading each name in her clear strong voice.
"Officer Alonzo "Big Al" Barnes,
Mrs. Erika L. Evans,
Officer Cruz Fenton,
Det. Bruce D. Goldman,
Sgt. Marvin "Chops" Hanover,
Officer Ann M. Hastings,
Det. Roselyn G. Karpowski,
Lt. Jocelynn E. Lawrence,
Officer Roberto J. Ortiz III,
Mr. Constantine R. Palozzi,
Sgt. Gregory S. Quarterman,
Officer Lawrence Tyrone "L.T." Scott,
Mr. Gabe J. Stein,
Mr. Howard M. VanLeer,
Officer Adesh Verma,
Miss Gretchen A. Xu,
and Sgt. Nadine Zwicker."
With each name being read, the picture of the person named, came on screen and sobs of loved ones could be heard from the audience. Alexis quickly scribbled down each name, while letting tears roll down her cheeks. Although she didn't personally know any of these people, she recognized about half, from the times she'd visited the 12th and interned with Dr. Parish.
Yes, Alexis was certain now, she knew what she would do. She was going to immortalized the people of the 12th. So that at least to her, they would never be forgotten.
XXXXXXXXXX
Friday, May 10
Speaker's Podium At The Memorial
2:35 pm
As she read the final name on the list, her voice finally cracked. And tears finally spilled. Yes, even "Iron Gates" had a softer side that she wasn't afraid to show.
Victoria looked out at the sea of people, her friends, co-workers, employees and their loved ones. Together, they were a large hodgepodge family, connected by the bloodline of the 12th. Today they mourned as a family, remembered as a family, supported as a family, and comforted as a family. She was blessed to call this family hers.
Gates took a steadying breath, and continued on, "We of the 12th are more than a branch of the NYPD. We are more than a group of co-workers. We are a family. And today our family hurts as one, because we are broken.
But... time will pass. Wounds will heal. Our precinct will rebuild and rise like a phoenix from the ashes. These seventeen family members will always be a part of us though, in our hearts and in our minds. We will carry on their missions, and their callings to protect the people of New York as they did. From clerk to detective, from maintenance to desk sergeant, from beat cop to undercover officer, every role we take on as we move forward will be in their honor. Their presence will always be missed, but I promise you today, they shall live on as a part of the 12th, forever."
The End
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A/N: A month or so ago, Teel, CK and I were chatting about how Marlowe and company could handle this season's finale in a way that was bigger and more emotional than we've seen so far. Which led to some theory building and me saying something like, "He could blow up the 12th with everyone in it and leave us wondering if any of the cast survives". Of course I was chided immediately, cuz if he did do something like that, the most likely deaths would be that of the fans. And I jokingly answered, well if it freaks you out so much, I should make it a fic. I wasn't serious when I said that, but it never left the back of my head.
Over the next weeks, I spent a lot of time alone with my thoughts. (My mom is fighting cancer, so while driving back and forth to treatments, waiting for surgeries, tests and procedures, etc... I've had a lot of quiet time to keep my mind on other things.) And this story line kept building and building in my mind, until it got to the point that while I was sitting in an out patient surgical waiting room watching my dad pace, I couldn't take it anymore. I knew right then what it felt like waiting nervously for a loved one who I couldn't help. So I grabbed my phone, and section by section, typed out the first chapter, emailing myself the entire thing, a few paragraphs at a time. The next day or so I ended up with some more unexpected quiet time and poured out almost every chapter but the final one. I sent them to my betas who both encouraged and threatened me, which was the final boost I needed to bring the story full circle. And now after a week or so of editing, I was able to give it to you.
I think most of you enjoyed it, and I'm soooooo glad. In a way it's been my own odd little therapy, written during times of anxiety, exhaustion and sinus headaches. This week begins another round of her chemo for mom, so on those days when I just need to be able to plaster a smile on my face and be strong for her and my dad, even when I don't feel like it, I'll go back and read your kind reviews. They'll have me grinning like and idiot for sure, and a lot of times, that's all we need... a little sunshine during the storm, ya know?
Anyway, I've thanked you guys and Teel and CK all along, but I want to assure you, I've truly meant it. The Castle fandom is so wonderful because of people like you. So again, THANK YOU!
With this final chapter, I wish you all well, but I will not say goodbye.
Instead...
Until next time my friends!
Have a fantastic Castle Monday!
Debo81