Story: When Everything Changed
Summary: Something inside begins to protest her actions causing Bellatrix to question herself and those around her. How will her world as she knows it be affected? BL/HG
Rated: M
Disclaimer: J.K. Rowling owns everything. I am merely borrowing the characters to play my own little game with them.
A/N 1: Italics are a flashback. Also ** before a new paragraph after a break indicates a scene change. While xx means skipping further into that scene. I just wanted to clarify. Please let me know if these symbols aren't showing up.
A/N 2: Though I have edited this more than once I am sure there are still mistakes. This is unbetaed and all mistakes are mine.
WARNING: There are a few very minor spoilers from Pottermore. Nothing huge because I refuse to read the information on Harry Potter wiki until I get into Pottermore. I just didn't want to be completely inaccurate.
_
Hermione's POV
I watch the darkness shift in Bellatrix's eyes as I sit next to her. It dances in depths of her chocolate pools, and plays with the doubts crashing in my stomach. The silence that has suddenly consumed us scares me less than the vacant expression on her face. Fire ignites within her eyes in a sudden burst of energy before being swallowed by a shadow.
My stomach plummets to the ground beneath me as I stare into the eyes of someone I do not recognize. Bellatrix's lips curl into a cruel smile. My hand shakes as I reach out to wrap it around Bellatrix's. I need to see the warmth return to her eyes. I know it is there, and if I can find it I will find Bellatrix as well.
Her gaze snaps to my hand before she roughly knocks it away.
"Don't touch me," she growls.
"Okay. Sorry." I say quietly. Her head snaps up and our eyes lock. I know I need to leave.
Subtly I inch toward the edge of the stone slab we are on, but before I can stand Bellatrix's hand wraps tightly around my upper arm. Pain bursts from beneath her fingers and I bite my bottom lip to silence my gasp.
Cautiously placing my hand on top of hers I attempt to loosen Bellatrix's fingers. I watch the muscles in her hand bulge as she tightens her grip in response.
Removing my eyes from my arm my focus narrows in on the cruel smile lingering on Bellatrix's face. The effect that it has on the rest of her features is chilling, and for the first time fear enters my system. My heart stops beating as it is frozen by the new emotion. I struggle to breathe as my blood is no longer pumped through my body, and I begin to lose focus as it turns to sludge.
The world around me becomes black and all I can see is Bellatrix's empty eyes. I refuse to rip my gaze from hers; not knowing what will happen if I can't even see the hollowness.
"Please stop." I choke out. There is no response.
"You're hurting me," Biting my lower lip I can feel my eyes widen as Bellatrix's smile becomes more malicious.
"Bella, you're hurting me." Relief washes over me when she finally lets go.
Carefully I breathe air back into my lungs. My heart slowly begins to race again. My eyes flutter closed as the searing pain in my arm overruns all other signals from my brain.
When I open my eyes it is just in time to watch in amazement as the golden hue seeps back into Bellatrix's dark orbs.
The relief has brought numbness to my body; however, I can still sense the fear lingering in the recesses of my mind.
Bellatrix's gaze roams over me. I can feel it cautiously probing me for answers. There is a small tug in my mind and I lock eyes with Bellatrix. Her gaze is unwavering and I realize she is trying to search my memories for what she needs to know.
Instead of scolding her for not asking I nod and attempt to mentally let my walls down.
I gasp; my thoughts and memories flash before me as Bellatrix filters carefully through them. Oddly I can feel the tenderness in her search. I know it is there because there was no sharp pain like Harry described when he was practicing Legilimency with Snape.
As quickly as Bellatrix's presence was there it is no longer in my mind. Automatically she pushes herself away from me and curls her knees into her chest.
"How did you do that without your wand?"
"Years of practice." She replies. Her head is turned away me. "You are better at defending your mind than I thought you would be."
"Harry and I used to practice when we were looking for horcruxes."
I thought I had effectively distracted Bellatrix from what I know she saw by asking her questions, but as I watch her retreat into herself I know it wasn't enough.
"I'm sorry," Bellatrix says faintly.
"It's okay." I rest my hand on her arm and she flinches.
"You should go."
I nod even though I know she's not watching me.
"Please think about the trial, Bella."
Her eyes flash toward mine and I stand. They are a stormy mixture of gold and black against a brown backdrop.
Berating myself for feeling as if I need to be on the defense; I cautiously approach Bellatrix and kiss her forehead as I mumble, "Take care of yourself."
She nods curtly and I leave.
**
"How can you side with her? She tortured you, Hermione!" Harry yells.
I watch him pace back and forth in front of me. My fingers wrap around my wand as him movements become more erratic.
Silently I curse myself for thinking it was a good idea to talk to Harry alone.
"No she didn't," I confess quietly.
"What?" He snaps back.
"She didn't torture me. She helped us escape."
"I don't believe you." The heat of his anger sizzles over me and a few sparks erupt from the end of his wand.
"I'm not asking you to."
I sigh. All I wanted to do is ask Harry if he would come over for dinner tonight. I was foolish for thinking that we could put our differences aside for one night. Before I could manage to cast a silencing charm on the room he began to verbally assault me about Bellatrix. I tried to leave, but loyalty convinced me to stay and listen to him.
"Then what do you want?"
"To be friends again." I can hear the defeat in my tone.
"Stop spending time with Bellatrix."
"I can't do that, Harry."
"Then we have nothing to talk about," He informs me as he pushes past me to leave.
"Harry, wait!" When he ignores me ire flares to the surface of my skin. It licks my flesh warmly and urges me forward.
Grabbing Harry's wrist I whip him around.
"How can you be so dense? Look at my arms." Pushing up my sleeves I show him where the scars should be.
"Nice glamour charm," He snaps
"She barely laid a hand on me! If you stopped and pulled your head out of your arse you could actually use the brain in it and see she's changed!"
Guilt tugs at my heart knowing that there is a deep purple bruise on my upper arm from the very person I'm defending. In a way I'm lying to Harry and there was a point in time that my guilt would automatically consume me for doing so.
"She killed Sirius and Dobby, Hermione!"
"And she's paid for it dearly thanks to you!"
"She deserves to be in Azkaban!"
The rage that was softly dancing on my skin bites and my whole body burns as my breathing becomes labored. I narrow my eyes and Harry takes a step back. Before I know what is happening I am watching my hand connect with Harry's face.
He stares at me in shock. Angry red fingers are already appearing on his skin.
"Have a nice day, Harry," I say venomously before leaving the room.
**
A smile creeps onto my face as I watch my dinner guests. Ron is in a heated debate with Tonks about the latest Chudley Cannons' Quidditch match, and Andromeda and Mrs. Weasley are having a friendly conversation about the efficiency of the latest healing spell. I glance over to my right where Minerva is sitting silently and watching the rest of the table. The soft smile on her lips illuminates her face and causes her eyes to twinkle.
Her eyes flicker to mine and her smile widens. I smile back at her. I'm mesmerized by the elegant radiance that glows around Minerva. Shaking my head I catch Mrs. Weasley stop talking and stare at us for a few seconds before returning to her conversation.
Reaching out I rest my hand on Minerva's arm and I can feel her lean in closer to me.
"Are you swamped with work tonight?" I ask quietly.
"Why?" Minerva's eyes meet mine and I am hit by the emotions swarming in the emerald depths.
"I was hoping you would stay for a little while after everyone has left."
"Is everything all right?" Instantly I can feel the caress of her eyes searching my face for signs of distress.
I nod my head reassuringly, "I just wanted to spend some time with you. It feels as if we haven't talked in weeks."
"Indeed it does. I believe I can spare a few hours tonight."
I squeeze her arm before turning my attention to Tonks. As I do I notice angry marks on Andromeda's arm.
xx
"Can I talk to you for a moment?" I whisper into Dromeda's ear. Her hair brushes against my cheek as she nods.
My eyes graze over the people crushed on the couch and I smile. It widens as I note that Minerva has commandeered the only chair.
Her eyes meet mine and I raise an eyebrow. Her emerald pools twinkle with joy and I roll my eyes.
"Since the Transfiguration Professor seems to be quite content with leaving the five of you to fit on the couch allow me to conjure you a few more seats."
Waving my wand two chairs appear in the room. I watch as Ron and Tonks launch themselves off the couch and into chairs.
"Thanks for all the help, Minerva."
"You're quite welcome dear."
Biting my lip to stifle a laugh I wait for Minerva to look at me. However, her eyes remain subtly placed elsewhere. Following her gaze she appears to be looking over Andromeda's shoulder, but I know better. I notice not only Andromeda, but Ron, and Tonks glancing between us.
I want to ask why everyone keeps looking at us like that tonight, but decide it's probably better not to know what is going through their overactive imaginations.
"I'm going to go get a few drinks out of the cooler on the patio. Does anybody want anything?"
"What's a cooler?" Ron asks and I notice Mrs. Weasley looking just as puzzled.
"It's an ice box." I can tell my answer doesn't help him. "Tonks will you try to explain it?"
She nods and for some reason launches into an intense explanation filled with wizard comparisons.
"Let me help you, Hermione," Andromeda says and follows me outside.
The cool air hits my face and opens my lungs. I no longer feel nervous about approaching Andromeda. I gaze at my rooftop garden noting the weeds that need attending too.
Before I can ask anything Dromeda's voice floats through the air.
"I heard you invited Narcissa tonight."
"I did," I say as I look up at the night sky. I can barely make out the faint constellations over the city lights. I proceed to name them in my head, which allows me to shove my nerves away.
"Narcissa told me what you said. I know you want to help her, but…"
"What happened to your arm?" I interject.
"What do you mean?" As I turn to face her I find Andromeda tugging her sleeve down.
Reaching out I pull her sleeve back up against her protests, "Was it her?" I say. As soon as my words leave my lips they are swallowed by the night.
Andromeda nods once. The movement is so slight I'm afraid I misinterpreted it. My heart begins to pound in my chest. I can feel the reality of the situation tearing the precious flesh of the organ. My fingers graze the red coarse lines on her soft skin before she turns away from me.
"How long ago was it?" I ask.
She shrugs.
"Why are you hiding it?"
"The same reason you are." Dromeda's eyes find mine. "Don't deny it. She's been hurting to you too."
Removing my sweater I hold my arm out for Dromeda to see. I bite my lip as my own eyes wander over my skin. My wrist is outlined in mustard yellow. It's barely noticeable, but still there from the day I snuck into Azkaban. I swallow as my eyes rest on the purple and blue blotch around my upper arm. A glance at Dromeda informs me her eyes are riveted to the same spot.
"What about Narcissa? Has Bell…"
Andromeda nods sharply cutting off the truth that is trying to sneak into the world and buzz in the wrong ears.
"How bad does Narcissa look?"
"No worse than me," Andromeda replies shrugging. "It's only happened once for both of us." Her implication hangs between us before slithering into my ears, down my throat, and wrapping around my lungs.
"I see. Do you know if Minerva's hurt?"
"Minerva, huh?" Dromeda asks. There is something in the ways she says this that makes me nervous.
"Um, yeah."
"Very few people have the privilege of calling Professor McGonagall, Minerva."
I shrug, "Most of the people I know do."
"How many? "
"Well there's you, Mr. and Mrs. Weasley, Shacklebolt, and Bellatrix."
"I'm not sure if you noticed but it tends to be upon request that we address her as Minerva. And then there's you."
"What are you trying to say?"
"Nothing," Dromeda says shrugging. "Minerva wouldn't confide in me if she were injured."
"How long do you think she has left before she's gone?"
"My sister?" I nod. I cannot bring myself to utter her name.
"I don't know. Keep reminding her about the trial."
"I am, but I'm afraid by the time she agrees it will be too late." I reluctantly admit.
"Me too, Hermione, me too."
xx
Andromeda pulls me into a tight hug and kisses my cheek while whispering, "Hold in there," before she and Tonks leave. I can hear the faint pop as they apparate in the alley next to my flat.
I turn to Ron and Mrs. Weasley. Ron is staring down at his shoes and shifting around nervously. Mrs. Weasley is beaming at me. Her friendly demeanor tonight has caused guilt to settle in the pit of my stomach. Not only have I hurt Ron, but I have ignored the rest of the Weasleys when it is clear that I am still welcome at the Burrow.
I feel ridiculous for thinking that I was no longer part of their family. Maybe my assumption was for the best. Since I was too weak to gather my Gryffindor courage I forced myself to take my first steps toward a new life.
Possibly the brief distance was enough for Ron and I to mature and become who we needed to be while we were apart so that we could remain friends.
I gently place a hand on Ron's shoulder to kindly drag him out of his thoughts. When he looks at me I tug on his arm. As he moves closer to me I wrap my arms around him.
"Thanks for coming over," I whisper in his ear.
"No problem. It's nice to see you."
"You too. Would it be alright if my face appeared in your fireplace later? I need to talk to you before tomorrow."
"Of course."
I watch Mrs. Weasley discreetly trying to decipher our quiet conversation. My eyes flicker to Minerva who is standing behind her. She nods at me and I focus back on Ron.
"What do you need to talk about?" He asks.
"Harry."
"Is he still being a git? I told him to knock it off."
"Not exactly."
Realizing we have been hugging for an abnormally long amount of time I press a kiss into his hair and let him go. He steps back to allowing Mrs. Weasley and I room to exchange goodbyes.
Instantly I find myself in the warm embrace. As she holds me tightly I can feel the tears forming in my eyes. I've missed her motherly presence.
"Stop by more often dear. We miss you at the Burrow."
"I will."
I bury my face in her hair. My words mingle with a content sigh as I whisper, "Thank you," into her ear.
She gives me a final squeeze before stepping away. I notice her run a finger across the edge of her eye. I mimic her actions erasing my own happy tears.
I watch the brief, formal interaction between the Weasleys and Minerva before they leave. Andromeda's words are fresh in my mind as Minerva kindly urges both Molly and Ron to call her Minerva before they leave.
I motion toward the couch and Minerva follows me. As I perch on the edge of the sofa next to Minerva I observe how her shoulders slouch, just slightly, not enough to ruin her perfect posture. The corners of her lips are turn upward and her eyes flutter shut for a moment.
"Did you have fun tonight?" I ask quietly.
"Yes."
I shift closer to Minerva before leaning into the couch. I smile as she follows suit.
"How has your week been?" She asks.
I recall the mundane details of my week, yet, no matter how small the detail Minerva appears to be paying rapt attention. I tell her about my run in with Harry earlier and can't help but smile as her eyes go wide.
"What about your week? How was it?"
"Good."
I wait for Minerva to reveal more, but it becomes obvious that she is not going to elaborate. Her brief response makes me wonder how much I really know about Minerva. She knows intimate details of my life, but I don't even know what she does during a typical day as Headmistress.
"Good? Any stories to share?"
"Not particularly."
"Minerva," I sigh. I don't know why this is bothering me so much. Clearly Minerva is a private person. I should just be happy that she is comfortable enough to relax around me.
"Yes?"
"Nevermind."
"What is it?"
"It's just, you know so much about me and I know so little about you."
"My life isn't very exciting dear."
"I don't even know simple things about you."
I watch her back straighten and eyes begin to harden. I know that I shouldn't push, but I'm curious. I've always been curious about Minerva's life outside of Hogwarts, and now that the thought has popped into my mind it's going to tear apart my brain until I get answers.
"We're friends right?"
"Of course," She frowns as if to state 'it goes without saying'.
"Would you consider us close friends?"
Minerva nods her head. Emerald green eyes roam the room before landing on mine.
I take her hand in mine, "You know so much about me, and I know almost nothing about you. I know of your accomplishments and contributions to the wizarding world, but who doesn't? I want to get to know Minerva not Professor McGonagall. Does that make sense?"
"What would you like to know?"
A million questions flood my mind at once. Briefly my mind flashes to when I had a similar conversation with Bellatrix, and decide to start simple instead of jumping right into what I want to know.
"What's your favorite flavor of tea?"
"Earl Grey with a hint of honey. Now ask me what you really want to know."
"Okay." Her gaze is piercing through me; making it hard to breathe. I can sense the barriers prepared to defend at any moment. "Are you married?"
As soon as it comes out of my mouth the question sounds ridiculous. I would know if Minerva had a husband. She wouldn't be able to hide that from me. Would she?
"I was."
"Was?"
"Elphinstone passed away. So yes, was."
"I'm sorry. How long ago did he pass away?"
"Many years ago, dear." Her voice is calm and it reassures me she is being truthful.
"Do you have children?"
"No, but I have two brothers."
Taking a moment to process the new information I think of what to ask Minerva next. I feel as if I could ask her anything right now, but only in this moment, when she is being so open and honest with me.
"What do you like to do in your free time?" I shouldn't have to ask this type of question; when I think about the fact that I do a sharp pain races through my chest.
She is silent for a moment. "I don't have much of it, and lately I've found that the little time I can spare I seem to spend with you."
"What kind of things would you like to do when we're together?" As each word leaves my mouth the odder the question seems to get.
Minerva quirks an eyebrow at me and I look away. I will the burning in my cheeks to disappear.
"I enjoy playing chess, reading, and the occasional drink is always nice."
I jump up immediately, "Of course. I'm sorry. I've never really been good at being a host. My mom is the one you want to invite you over. Would you like a drink? I have some of that scotch that you like."
"In that case, how can I say no?"
I smile at Minerva before busying myself with drinks. When I'm done I grab my old chess set. It was a gift from my dad for my tenth birthday.
"Here," I say quietly passing Minerva her drink. Sitting next to her I open the leather case in my arms and begin to set up the board. By the time I finish I find I am placing the pieces on the board with one hand while my other is held captive by Minerva.
Her touch is comforting. It slows down my mind, which usually is processing nonstop. For once my worries about Bellatrix are eased, the thought of my parents distant, and the stress of my job vanished. I wish I could feel this way all the time; like the weight of all my friends' problems weren't threatening to collapse my chest.
"Thank you." I whisper more to myself then Minerva.
"What for?"
"Being my friend."
"You're more than welcome dear. I enjoy our friendship as well."
I roll my eyes at Minerva, but can't stop the grin from spreading across my face. "At ten there is a program on television that I want to watch if you would like to join me."
"What is it?"
"Well a television is a box…"
"No dear, the program."
"Right. Sorry I just assumed that since you're a witch you wouldn't know…"
"It's quite all right," She interrupts reassuringly, however, that doesn't stop my embarrassment from setting my cheeks on fire.
"It's a special on the Pyramids. Apparently the muggles are getting closer to discovering the ancient magic in the tombs. Everyone at the Ministry is on edge as they try to run damage control."
"Really? I wonder why Shacklebolt hasn't contacted me about this."
Shrugging I reach out and move my pawn on the board. Minerva's eyes flash brilliantly in challenge before moving her own pawn.
**
Strong hands push me away and I stumble backward. My fall is hindered by the cell wall. My head slams against the stone and instantly my surroundings blur.
Bellatrix stands in front of me. I can tell she is shaking. "GET OUT!" She screams.
Her words cause an incurable cold to seep into my bones as they echo in my ears. Her voice is empty; her eyes are burning with rage.
I scramble out of the cell as quickly as I can, and for the first time I lock the cell behind me.
**
Cautiously I approach Bellatrix. As if reminding me, there is suddenly a sharp pain in the back of my head right where it hit the wall.
Bellatrix had been fine three weeks ago when I came to visit. We sat outside. She laughed a few times and held my hand, but as soon as we entered the cell the air around us seemed to disappear. Quietly she had asked me to leave, but I refused. I mentioned asking for a trial, but stubbornly she told me she wouldn't. I went to give her a hug and the next thing I knew I was up against wall on the other side of her cell.
"Bellatrix?"
"Hermione." Turning to me I can detect the fear in her eyes. "What are you doing here?"
"I'm here to bring you back to your cell, like always."
"You shouldn't be here."
"Why not?" I take a step closer to Bellatrix and she stands as she scrambles backward.
"Stay there."
"Bella, I'm not going to hurt you."
"I know, but I can't say the same to you." Her voice cracks on the last word. Looking into her eyes they are glossy with tears.
"Bella," I attempt to inch closer to her, but every time I do she distances herself further. She begins to shake and tears leak onto her face, but she continues to back away from me. "It's okay. I promise. Come here."
As I hold out a hand to her and step forward Bellatrix takes a step back; one too far. As she teeters on the edge of the cliff, her arms out in an attempt to balance, I rush forward and grab her arm, yanking her forward.
My heart is pushing out of my chest. I can hear the skin above it ripping each time the organ slams against it. Wrapping my arms around Bellatrix I hold her as close as possible, afraid to let go.
She is breathing heavily in my ear. Her body trembles with fear and the weight of her tears. Running my hands through her hair I attempt to soothe her. As I do so I slowly lead her closer to the side of the prison to give us privacy from the prying eyes of Jones.
I slide down the wall bringing Bellatrix with me. She curls into me and I place kisses wherever my lips can reach. I lightly brush my lips against her cheek, which is slick with salty tears. I can sense my own tears beginning to build. My eyes sting as I force my tears back. The harsh wind blows against us and I pull Bellatrix closer to me.
Her breathing begins to even out and I relax into her.
"I'm so sorry, Hermione," She whispers as quietly as a summer breeze.
"Don't apologize."
"I don't mean for it to happen."
"I know you don't, Bella. You need to get out of here."
"I can't."
"You could ask for a trial."
"Do you really think I'll be found innocent?" Her tone is full of exasperation. "The only way I'll get out of here is if I escape, and then I will have to live the rest of my life on the run."
"And this is better than that?" When our eyes meet I am overwhelmed by the pain and confusion I find. Leaning in I kiss Bellatrix softly hoping to take it all away.
She sighs and rests her head on my shoulder. Glancing down at her my gaze stops on her arm. I can feel myself inhale sharply at the sight of the Dark Mark residing there. Reaching out, I run my fingers over the design and goose bumps follow in my wake.
"What did he do to you?" The question was meant for myself, but the wind picks it up and carries it to her ears.
She shifts and looks up at me. The sight of her wide, vulnerable eyes runs like a knife down my heart. I can almost feel the blood running from the wound.
"Bring a pensive next time." I nod as my nerves begin to taunt my stomach. What am I going to see?
"I need to take you back." Her eyes beg me not to. "I'm sorry," I whisper against her lips before kissing her.
"If I tell you to leave you need to." I know not to fight Bellatrix on this so I nod before we get up.
We walk back to her cell in silence.
When we enter I pull her into my arms. I wish I could use a disillusionment charm and take her with me, but I would never get away with it, and every chance Bellatrix had of being freed would be gone.
"Go," Bellatrix breathes into my ear. My skin tingles as she touches her lips to my cheek.
"Let me help you through this."
"Hermione."
"Please, we can do this together." I whisper.
"You need to go!"
"You can't keep pushing me away."
"Listen to me."
"Let me help you," I say gently. Hoping my soft tone will reach her.
Abruptly I am staring into black, emotionless eyes. My head snaps to the side as Bellatrix's fist collides with my cheek. Stumbling backwards my face begins to feel as if a million bees are stinging it at once. Something warm is running down my skin, and out of my mouth. Raising a shaky hand I clumsily feel the angry gash on my cheek.
Bellatrix is staring at me with a manic grin on her face. I can feel my eyes widen as I back toward the door.
"You foolish girl."
"Bella?" Her crazed smile fades for a moment before returning.
Reaching the barred door I rush out of the cell and lock it behind me. I am followed by hollow laughter.
Shakily I cast a glamour charm over my face before leaving. I take my time as I attempt to compose myself before I have to meet Jones.
**
Numbly I knock on the door. There is no answer so I push it open and step into the Headmistress' office.
"Minerva?"
I am met with silence.
"She's at dinner dear."
Glancing up Professor Dumbledore catches my eye: his are filled with concern.
"Okay," I say weakly while shrugging.
I should have stopped to think before leaving work.
"Why don't you take a seat Hermione?"
I nod as his voice registers in my brain, yet hollowness keeps me nailed to the floor, and pours lead into my lungs.
My eyes wander around the office and I realize that I am surrounded by the heavy silence that has filled my heart. My neck gives in to the weight of my brain as intangible thoughts swirl around just out of my grasp. Biting my lip I fight back the tears that sear the back of my eyes.
The room is pressing in on me.
I don't know how long I've been standing here when I hear the stairs begin to move. The door swings open, but I don't bother to turn around.
"Hermione?" I listen to Minerva's footsteps as she crosses the room. Her hand rests on my back, and I begin to quiver beneath it like a dragon egg hatching. Unable to stop the movement it rushes a signal to my brain to destroy the weak barricade holding back my tears.
Minerva wraps her arms around me and I bury my face in her shoulder. The fabric of her robe is rough against my skin, and irritates the wound on my cheek. The salt of my tears stings in my torn flesh. I hear myself wince before I can stop it. The sound is not quiet enough to pass as a sniffle, and instead comes out as a hiss.
Minerva gently pushes me back so that I am arm's length away. Her hands remain firmly and reassuringly on my upper arms.
"What's wrong?" She asks. She dips her head as she attempts to look into my eyes.
Forcing my neck to move despite its agonizing screams I focus on the bookshelf behind Minerva. Out of the corner of my eye I notice her tilt her head as her gaze remains focused on my face. My eyes widen against my will as I sense she can see something I don't want her to. Her cloak rustles as she reaches inside its depths, and pulls out her wand.
"Please don't," I request weakly. I wrap my hand around her wrist in protest, but it twitches and the warmth of her magic sweeps over my face.
She inhales sharply and gently fingers tilt my head. "Who did this to you?"
"It doesn't matter."
"Your face looks as if it smashed into a bludger; don't tell me it doesn't matter. Who did this?"
I shake my head stubbornly. "It's not important."
Minerva is silent for a moment. "It was Bellatrix wasn't it?"
I can hear the anger in her voice: it quakes and promises deadly consequences.
Minerva pulls away from me and I grasp desperately for her cloak, but the velvety fabric slips through my fingers. She moves toward the fireplace calmly. It is an eerie calm that leaves me with a plummeting sensation in my stomach.
"Where are you going?"
"Something must be done."
"What? No!" Rushing forward my hand wraps around her wrist and I wrench her away from the now emerald flames.
"Please, it wasn't her fault," My voice becomes shriller with each word.
"She can't keep hurting you, Hermione."
"Please don't leave me," I croak out.
I try to breathe and as the air enters my lungs it attempts to squeeze in around the unsaid words, pain, and fear, but fails. Without its salvation my lungs collapse beneath the weight of a million lives all begging for my sympathy. I struggle to seize the air I need, but all I can do is wheeze. A searing pain travels through my chest. My hands grasp at Minerva's arms and tighten around them as the room begins to swim before me. I stretch my mouth until its seams threaten to rip, but no air trickles into my lungs. My whole body screams, and I wish someone would hear it.
Minerva's soft tones immerge through my panic. "Listen to my voice," she instructs as she takes both my hands.
"Look at me." My eyes grind against their sockets as I force them to meet Minerva's.
"That's it. Breathe. Deep calming breaths." Her voice claws at the weight on my chest until it breaks through and yanks my lungs apart allowing me to breathe.
"I'm not going anywhere, I promise," Minerva whispers.
I nod my head before collapsing into her arms. My tears mock me as they fall, and my body threatens to break with each sob that wracks it. Minerva's embrace is strong and safe. It reassures me that I will not fall; I will not shatter. Minerva runs her hands through my hair, and whispers promises of protection and care into my ear.
When she is certain I can stand on my own Minerva asks me to follow her into her private quarters. However, as I veer toward the couch she takes my hand and guides me through another door.
As I enter the room my eyes widen as I take in the king size bed covered with an emerald green blanket. My gaze rapidly searches the room taking in every detail including the desk next to me, the wardrobe on the adjacent wall, a door in the back of the room, and the armchair next to the arched window.
"What?" Minerva asks startling me. I hadn't realized she had been watching me.
"Are you sure you want me here?"
"If I didn't I wouldn't have invited you in."
"I know, but Minerva this is your bedroom. I'm invading your privacy."
Minerva chooses to ignore my response, and instead motions for me to sit on the bed before disappearing into another room. I perch awkwardly on the edge. I feel as if I am a kid violating Hogwarts' rules and waiting to be punished. I shouldn't be here. This is the Headmistress' bedroom.
No this is Minerva's bedroom.
With that thought the room rapidly becomes less daunting.
Minerva reappears with a towel, a bowl, and potion bottle in her hands. Waving her wand the room is illuminated in a dim light.
"Magic is quicker," I state.
"Magic can be impersonal," She responds.
"You don't have to do this, Minerva. It will only take me a few seconds to heal the wound."
"I want to," She states reassuringly as she crosses the room.
"You don't have to."
"The last thing I am going to do is allow you to wave a wand and make everything disappear. It does not matter how much magic you use in an attempt to erase it or cover it up it won't go away, my dear."
I nod and drop my head. Clasping my hands together I fight back the numbness invading my body. I need this pain. I need to remember what it feels like.
Minerva's legs push against mine as she places the items in her hands on the night stand. She leans over me and I grasp tightly to the robes at her waist. I close my eyes as I feel her hands rest on my arms and her lips brush against my forehead. When I open my eyes I discover her emerald orbs wandering over my skin. I cautiously bite my split lip as I wait for her to finish. The caress of Minerva's eyes is not unpleasant, but the emotions in them are.
Sighing she pulls away and grabs the towel. My mind becomes preoccupied with the sound of the bowl being filled with water.
"Wait," I say as Minerva wets the towel. "I want…I want to see it."
Minerva nods and steps aside. "The bathroom's through there."
Cautiously I step inside the large room and meet my reflection in the mirror. What I find causes me to flinch. Black and purple serve as decoration around the jagged laceration on the right side of my face. The dark red trails of blood are the ribbon to the present Bellatrix has given me. I raise trembling fingers to my skin as Minerva appears in the doorway. I run them lightly over the wound before closing my eyes.
When I open them again I note the emptiness that has swallowed my eyes and hollowness creeping into my expression. With a numb heart I turn toward Minerva and nod.
Perching on the edge of the bed Minerva resumes her previous spot standing in front of me. Her hand lightly nudges my tightly pressed knees and I shift my position so she can move closer. My hands wander to Minerva's waist as she gently cleans the blood from my face. I find myself absently trailing my fingers up her ribcage and mutter an apology. I cannot decipher the look she gives me, but it causes the edges of my lips to curl despite the battle cries echoing inside of me.
"This will sting," Minerva says before dabbing the potion on my cheek. Instantly I feel it beginning to heal my check, but it doesn't sting it burns: badly. Wincing my grip tightens on her waist and I lean my head against her chest. Minerva's hands dance soothingly across my back.
When I pull away Minerva sends me an apologetic look as she banishes the materials on the nightstand into the other room.
"Thank you," I whisper.
"You're welcome dear. I'm afraid you will have to move over though."
"Um, all right." Confused I slide over a few inches.
She chuckles, "To the other side of the bed. You're on my side."
"What?"
"You're on my side of the bed. If you're spending the night I'm afraid you will have to sleep on the other side."
"Oh, no! I can go home. I'm sure you want privacy. Not that I don't appreciate what you've…"
"I would feel better if you spent the night here."
"I'm fine."
"Yes, I'm sure you are," Her tone informs me that she doesn't believe a single word I just said. "But I would prefer you stay here just in case."
I am about to protest further when I notice Minerva flick her wand. A light breeze sweeps over my body and I find myself wearing tartan pajama pants and top instead of my robes.
"You've decided to stay. Wonderful," Minerva says in an overly cheery tone.
I snort quietly in amusement before sliding over to the opposite side of the bed. Minerva props herself up against the headboard, and picks her book up off the nightstand. Shifting she opens the book and begins to read.
Resting my head on the pillow I stare up at the ceiling. Bellatrix's empty eyes flash in my mind followed by the image of Bellatrix quietly crumbling outside of Azkaban. My fingers glide over my tingling cheek. There is a thin line where Bellatrix's ring shred my flesh.
"It wasn't her fault. It was mine," I announce to the ceiling quietly. I hear Minerva shut her book and set it on the night table. I refuse to look at her and instead keep my eyes focused straight ahead. If I speak to the ceiling the memories flashing through my mind will hurt less. If I look at Minerva and see not only the pain Bellatrix caused me, but Minerva, in those emerald pools I'll crumble.
"She told me before we went back to her cell if she said to leave I needed to. I couldn't leave her though, not in that place. I don't even remember them changing, but I looked into Bellatrix's eyes and they were empty. And then she hit me. It wasn't her fault."
"You should have listened to her…"
"I know," I interrupt.
"…but that she still had no right to hurt you."
"It's not her fault."
"Bellatrix knows her mind better than anyone, Hermione. After all she has been locked up with herself for a good portion of her life."
"Why won't she ask for her trial?"
"You know why." Minerva states.
I sigh.
"Has she hurt you before?" Minerva's voice wavers and fear begins to lace my mind.
Rolling onto my side my gaze finds Minerva's and I nod.
Fury flashes red against green, but Minerva quickly contains her emotions. I reach for her hand. Her skin is warm against mine and Minerva fights away the fear that has already burrowed into my mind as her thumb glides across the back of my hand.
"Where?"
"My wrist, but you can't see it anymore," I state. I barely recognize my voice as it enters the room.
"Is that is?"
I shake my head no. Slowly I unbutton the first four buttons of my shirt. Minerva turns her head away from me and my stomach clenches. Slipping my upper arm out of the shirt I reveal the dark bruise that has not faded despite the amount of time that has passed since the incident occurred.
"Minerva?"
Her head turns in my direction and her eyes lock onto my arm. Reaching out she runs her fingers carefully over the tender flesh.
"How long ago was it?" She asks. I observe her discreetly turn her head and brush her knuckle against the corners of her eyes.
"About a month and a half."
She nods, but keeps her head turned.
"I, um, also hit the back of my head when she shoved me."
"Today?"
"No a few weeks ago."
"Have you had anyone look at it?"
"No."
Minerva has me slide closer her and I point out where I hit my head. Her fingers move gently through my hair as she inspects the back of my head. I hear her mutter a spell before the warmth of her magic caresses me.
"If there was any damage it appears to have healed."
"Okay."
I button my shirt before I return to my early position of staring at the ceiling. The silence wraps its fingers around my throat and squeezes until I can't breathe before letting go. It's touch is heavy with my spoken words and unvoiced emotions.
My eyes wander to Minerva and I discover glassy, distant eyes. I can detect a faint tear trail on her cheek and I inhale shakily.
The sudden sound returns Minerva to the room and she gazes down at me with sad eyes. Uncertainly I reach up and gently wipe away the lingering tears.
"I shouldn't have said anything. I'm sorry."
"You shouldn't have had to say anything." She replies.
"I'm sorry you have to deal with me like this." I can feel the heat burning my cheeks and my eyes dart to a safe space on the wall.
"Nonsense. I'm not dealing with you."
"Yes you are."
"No, I'm taking care of you." Minerva responds kindly.
"I should be able to take care of myself."
"Everyone needs a friend. We're friends, right?"
"Of course." I say automatically as I sit up.
"Would you consider us close friends?"
I nod my head.
"Then trust me," She says quietly as if she is afraid we will be overheard. "Let me help you."
"Didn't we have this conversation the other day?" I ask hoping to defuse the grave atmosphere burdening the room.
"If I recall the positions were reversed."
"You used some odd form of psychology on me didn't you?"
Minerva rolls her eyes at me.
"Maybe we need to have the conversation more than once before it sticks in either of our heads."
"Maybe." Yawning I slide closer to Minerva and lean against her. I slip my arm around her waist and pull her closer into a hug before letting go. "Thanks."
I smile at her. "You know you're my best friend, right?"
"I assumed that role was reserved for Bellatrix." She responds.
"It's different."
"How so?"
I shrug.
"I love you, Minerva," I admit in barely more than a whisper. The words linger familiarly in my mouth and saturate the air between us.
"And I you my dear." She wraps her arms around me and holds me tightly for a moment.
"Now I'm afraid that I have work to do, and you need to rest."
"What time is it?" I ask.
"Ten-thirty."
"It feels so much later."
"It does."
"Promise you won't stay up much longer."
"I promise. In fact, I will work at my desk in here so if you wake up and I am still working you can scold me."
"I wouldn't scold you."
"Really?" She asks in a lighthearted tone.
"Okay maybe I would."
"I thought so. Sleep, Hermione."
I nod and slip under the covers before turning to face the window. I close my eyes, but I can already sense sleep slithering through my fingers in an attempt to protect me.
Quietly I lay listening to the scratching of Minerva's quill. My eyes wander the constellations as my mind automatically recalls their stories.
Minutes blend into hours before Minerva turns off the light.
Cool air rushes against my back as she lifts the covers. I listen to her shift and the bed sinks almost unnoticeably as Minerva lays behind me. She is close enough that I can sense the faint warmth of her body.
Reaching back I lift Minerva's arm and drape it over my torso. She slides forward and pulls me closer.
"Goodnight, Minerva," I whisper.
"Goodnight, my dear."
As I shut my eyes I can feel sleep working away at the edges of my mind: coaxing me into an empty dream. With Minerva's arm around me I can accept sleep's invitation. The embrace swathes us in a silent promise: Minerva will protect me from harm until Bellatrix is able to do so.
As if she can hear my thoughts Minerva leans forward and her breath tickles my ear as she whispers, "Always."
A/N: Sorry it's taken me so long to update! I thought I would be knocking out updates during winter break, but I ended up being really busy.
I want to know what you guys think of the relationship developments in this chapter between Bellatrix and Hermione and Minerva and Hermione. I feel as if Minerva plays a very important role in this story and wanted to expand upon it in this chapter. How do you feel about it?
I've already started working on the next update but with my heavy course load this semester I can only promise I will get it out as soon as possible.