"No truth can cure the sorrow we feel from losing a loved one. No truth, no sincerity, no strength, no kindness can cure that sorrow. All we can do is see it through to the end and learn something from it, but what we learn will be no help in facing the next sorrow that comes to us without warning"

Haruki Murakami

SNOW

In the little cabin, his head resting on Miss Kate's lap, Enos slowly opened his eyes after a long sleep; he needed several minutes to realize where he was, and, after he realized he was with Miss Kate, he relaxed.

Three months spent torn between the Institute and Hazzard: he looked at the snow outside the window in that late fall, a snow transforming that world in something even more muffle and dreaming.

"Enos, I think you shouldn't stay here so much. I'm starting to … worry for you"

He knew it, he perfectly knew it but hearing it from Miss Kate saddened him, as she was rejecting him, "I'm fine. There's nothing to worry for, really"

Miss Kate gave a deep breath and she caressed his hair, "Nothing to worry for, Enos? When did you talk to Dukes last time? You're avoiding them since that evening, you're avoiding your best friends, and you can't endure all this loneliness"

"I'm not alone. I'm talking to you, now", he huddled on the couch, his head still on Miss Kate's lap, and he closed his eyes, a useless attempt to avoid that talk. She was right, and he knew it: since that evening, the evening he showed himself as a crying loser to Dukes, he avoided them, he avoided any invite for dinner, he avoided even to talk to them when he met them, always using his duty as excuse, burying himself in his work.

"Enos, they're your friends, and I really think they're worrying for you, so stop run away from them, please. I've seen you crying a lot of times along these years, but I've never thought of you as a loser. So, WHY do you think they see you this way?"

Enos felt his cheeks burning. "'Cause Dukes are above me… and above you too. You're a loser like me since you're not able to leave this place and to face the real world", but obviously it wasn't a thought he could confess to her.

"I'd have never run away from the world if I had had some friends like Dukes, and I don't want to see you running away when you have a reason to stay. I'm not saying I'm not happy to see you here and to have a talk with you, but THIS isn't your world, the world you belong to is Daisy's world"

He swallowed against the lump in his throat, "Are you sure?"

"I'm TOTALLY sure 'bout it, Enos. You deserve the best, and this place is NOT the best for you. You're not a loser. How many times have I to say it to you, Enos? There are a lot of people caring for you in the real world, Daisy really cares for you, I somehow feel it, I feel it because of what you've told me 'bout her and 'bout her way to act"

Was she right? He wanted to believe it with all this strength, but every time he tried to stand up he fell back into those pesky thoughts 'bout everyone having only pity of him.

When the door opened, an icy blast hit him like a lash… and not only the blast.

"What a day. I HATE all this snow", Rose Strate entered the room, the door slamming behind her, "and Doc Martin is sometimes really annoying". She sat at the table, she pulled her lighter and her cigarettes out her jacket's pocket and the room filled with the smell Enos hated so much.

Overwhelmed by a sense of nausea, he sat up; it wasn't only because of that smell, but because of her mother's snapping, something happening too often, lately. And it was probably the reason why Miss Kate was trying to push him back to the real world; she was seeing it coming, and, even if he wanted to believe something different, he too was seeing it coming: Rose Strate's snapping was a prelude of her leaving the Institute. Miss Kate was trying to protect him against a new disappointment, he knew it, and he loved her even more because of her knowing him and his mother so well, and he felt even more ashamed of his thinking of her as a loser because of her running away from the world.

"Enos, I think it's better to come back to Hazzard now, without waiting 'till tomorrow. It's snowing hard, and tomorrow you could have problems to reach Hazzard".

Miss Kate's voice reached him through a dark fog surrounding him.

"You're right. I gotta go, now. See you next week, Miss Kate", he slowly stood up, fighting against a pressing nausea. A sort of alarm in his head told him to run away, run away from that place before it was too late, before it swallowed him then spitting him out, totally crashed. A new disappointment was coming, and he felt like a little mouse looking at a cat pouncing on him; he knew he couldn't do anything, now he knew it, despite all his previous hopes; he tried to comfort himself reminding it wasn't the first time, he'd have carried this weight like many times before, enduring it and learning from it… 'till the next time, and, in order to be ready for the next time, he had to come back to the real world.

He took his jacket and he walked to the door, "Bye, mom, see you next week"; he closed the door behind him before she answered him, an answer that, anyway, he knew not coming.

The only loser was HE, running away alternatively from BOTH words: it was what he was wondering as he walked away, the snow crunching under his shoes.

Daisy didn't want to give up, not at all. Since that morning, the morning she woke up to find he left the farm without even say goodbye, the day he started to avoid her, to avoid all of them (Bo, Luke and even uncle Jesse, no, not even but … especially uncle Jesse).

"It's the day he goes to the Institute, so I think he won't come back 'till tomorrow"

Uncle Jesse's voice stopped her as she was opening the door.

"I know it, but… maybe… maybe this time…", her hand on the door's handle she sighed.

"Another raid to the town to meet Enos? It's the day he goes to visit his mother, isn't it? So, no way to meet him, this evening", Luke entered the living room and he sank into the couch, a cars' magazine in his hands, "we've barely talked to him in the last two months. He's running away as a mouse chased by a cat", he pretended to read but it was pretty clear it was disappointed and worried.

"He's too much prideful and too much stubborn", Bo joined his older cousin on the couch.

"He's too much confused and distraught, but he doesn't want we see him that way", uncle Jesse shook his head, his mind back to that raining evening, Enos' crying on his shoulder, something that really surprised him; it shocked him, in effect.

"He can't keep on avoiding us, hiding in his loneliness, so I'm goin' to bring him back to us. He lives in Hazzard, not at the Institute", before anyone could answer her, Daisy closed the door behind her.

Another attempt to meet him and to talk to him, even if she knew it was pretty impossible to meet him his day off, but Daisy couldn't give up, she was obsessed by him, more and more obsessed since that evening, his pain so clear to the point to scare her.

His car parked in front of the Boarding House surprised her, the snow still on it stating he was back from the Institute; she couldn't help but thinking that it was already winter, there, and maybe it was the reason why he was back.

She parked her jeep behind his car and she walked to the Boarding House, reaching the stairs and then his apartment. Standing in front of his closed door she wondered what to say to him; she took a deep breath, she'd have thought of what to say later, but now she had to see him, and for sure he couldn't run away from her so easily in his apartment.

She knocked, and it seemed like hours before he opened the door.

"Daisy?!, What…?", he looked at her in surprise, then he managed to smile, "Hi Dais".

She slipped into the little apartment, the door half open as he was standing there, totally shocked by her coming, "Hi Enos", she smiled, "I noticed your car, and… I understood you were here, and since it's a long time since…", she took a deep breath, what a pitiful conversation, she had to stop it, "OK, now, Enos, I'm really worried for you. I don't want you to avoid me, to avoid ... us, 'cause we care for you. You have to stop to… run away".

He was looking at her, even more shocked than before, "And… did you come here for… it?"

Daisy opened her eyes wide, "Are you surprised I'm so worried for you to come here to say it to you? Yeah, I'm worried to the point I can barely sleep, cause I keep on thinking of you, and I have nightmares because of you"

"Daisy really cares for you, I somehow feel it, I feel it because of what you've told me 'bout her and 'bout her way to act", maybe Miss Kate was right, it wasn't only pity. He looked down at the floor, "Thanks, Dais. I appreciate it, really"

She smiled sweetly and she came closer him, "Enos, sugar, please, stop running away from people caring for you".

"The world you belong to is Daisy's world". He had to come back to that world before it was too late, "You're… right. I think I should… I should come to the farm… for dinner, one of these evenings", he blushed, "if… if you want to, obviously"

Daisy's heart stirred, "Of course I want you to come for dinner. You're welcome to the farm, Enos, always", she gently kissed his lips but she stopped when she felt him stiffening: step by step, she had to be content of his apparent stopping to run away, now.

"OK, one of these evenings. Maybe… on Thursday?", he held his breath waiting for her answer, enjoying the feeling of bein' again in her world and trying to grab that feeling.

"Thursday evening would be perfect".

Mission accomplished: on her way home, Daisy felt relieved, and, that night, she was able to sleep, a long night without nightmares.

Thursday, 4. A.M.

The phone rang in Enos' apartment, waking him up.

He looked confused at the clock, wondering who's calling him so early in the morning.

4 A.M.: it meant only troubles. And troubles meant…

He reached the phone, his hands sweaty and his heart beating fast, "This is Enos Strate speakin'"

Miss Kate's voice, broken with sobs, froze him; he pressed the receiver against his ear, wondering if it was only a nightmare, a terrible nightmare. Without even realizing it, he fell on his knees, crying and sobbing hopelessly, the receiver on the floor near him.

His world, BOTH his worlds were crashing, forever: his mother died.