Again, Grey's Anatomy clearly belongs to Shonda Rhimes, I am not Shonda; I just wish I was.
Ten months before….
It was unusually busy at the Namboze Clinic. And Arizona was thankful for that. It meant that there was less time for her to think about all the things she left behind. She imagined that a normal person would be over leaving their old life behind them to work in such an environment where she saw things in tiny humans she would never see over in the states. But Arizona still found her thoughts frequently going back to the life she left behind, it was like she was physically in Malawi, but her heart was still in Seattle with one pissed off Latina. And no matter how hard Arizona tried to pour herself into her work, she found herself wanting to write to Callie telling her of all the amazing things she was encountering.
Arizona felt a hand on her shoulder; she turned to see Dziko looking rather nervous. "Dziko. What's going on?" Arizona asked the out of breath nurse that she had been working with for the past two years. They had become rather good friends since Arizona's arrival. "Dr. Robbins, Ma'am there is a bomb threat. I have been told that we are to move everyone out." Arizona looked at Dziko, and then remembered back to Gary Clark, and his gun, and then to Callie who had saved them and dozens of children from a ruthless killer. Fortunately for Arizona, she could at least have some control over this situation, and she could get the children out of the building. Arizona looked Dziko straight in the eye and without any hesitation told her, "Dziko, listen to me, we will move the tiny humans out one at a time, we don't want to alarm them. And do not alarm the makers of the tiny humans. I don't need anyone freaking out at me."
It was moments like this that Arizona really missed Callie. She'd been her rock, there for her when things like this happened. For almost a year after leaving her, Arizona had to relive that moment every night in her dreams, Callie's face as she told her that she was going to Africa without her. And the fight that was to follow. Most of the children Arizona was working with at least today weren't super critical. Most were post-op and were stable. As Arizona and Dziko started moving children out of the building, Arizona realized that one of her favorite little boys was missing. "Dziko, keep moving the tiny humans out, Kapeni is missing. I need to find him." Arizona went back into the wing to look for Kapeni. This was no time for the little boy to be hiding. The usually perky blonde needed to find him, and find him fast.
Arizona had been searching for what seemed like forever. "Kapeni. I need you to come out. I don't have time to play hide and seek inside. Let's go play outside." Arizona walked into Kapeni's room and looked under the bed and found the little four year old boy in the fetal position. Why hadn't she thought to look under the boy's bed? "I'm scared." The little boy whispered to her. "Oh honey, I know. Come out. We'll go out together." The little boy crawled out from under the bed and into Arizona's arms. Adrenaline was pumping through Arizona's veins like it had replaced her blood. She carried the young boy out of his room and out of the hospital as calmly as she could. When all of the sudden Arizona heard a huge blast coming from behind her, the realization that the bomb was exploding as she walked through the door way was almost too much for Arizona to comprehend. She clung to the little boy in her arms, as she her body flying through the air, and hitting the ground.
The next thing that Arizona could remember was pain, sheer and unrelenting in her left leg. She tried to get up but couldn't. Her head hurt, it was like a migraine only ten times worse. Where had Kapeni gone, was he safe? She heard a voice it was distant. Was this what death felt like? Was she dying? She could feel the pain dulling. "C-c-aallie…" she called out. No it wasn't her time. She couldn't die. Not yet. She needed to go back to Seattle, explain that she was stupid, so stupid for leaving her in SeaTac, stupid for not wanting to raise a family. Arizona shut her eyes and prayed that she'd open them up again.
A few days later, Arizona opened her eyes. She was in a hospital bed. What had happened? She reached for the call button, and waited for a nurse to come into her room. She had a distinct English accent, "Dr. Robbins, you're awake. You're in the hospital. Obviously not in Malawi anymore, you sustained injuries to your head and leg. We had to amputate what was left of your left leg." The nurse handed Arizona a glass of water before she tried to speak. "T-t-the little boy. Kapeni. Is he okay? Where am I?" Arizona was more worried about the boy than her leg. "Dr. Robbins, the little boy, he's fine. You seemed to take the brunt of the explosion and you are at St. George's Hospital in London. The hospital's in Malawi were unable to give you the medical attention you needed. " Arizona breathed a sigh of relief at least the boy was okay. Now it was time for her to see what had happened to her.
Arizona pulled the sheet away to look at the stump that was left of her leg. "My leg, it's really gone..." She looked up at the nurse with wide eyes. The nurse looked back sympathetically, "Dr. Evans says he'll fix you up with a prosthetic. Get you back up in no time." As the nurse turned to leave the room, Arizona cleared her throat. "Is there any way that I can get a piece of notebook paper, a pen and an envelope?" the blonde asked, the nurse nodded and left the room to go get Arizona a piece of paper. Closing her eyes, Arizona sighed. Her leg was gone, but she had saved the boy. That's all that mattered to Arizona.
A single tear rolled down Arizona's face as she thought about how she had no one with her in this hospital. She didn't even know where she was, Arizona figured she was somewhere in England. There was no way that Namboze or Malawi in general could care for the injuries that she had sustained in the explosion. Arizona thought about picking up the phone and calling her parents, and Callie. She needed to call Callie. If she knew Callie at all, if she picked up, she'd probably hang up on her. Hence why she was going to write the letter, but she figured she could give the call a try.
She picked up the phone that was connected to side of the bed, followed the instructions, and dialed Callie's number, and waited. Arizona had no idea what she was even going to stay to Callie if she answered. "Hello?" said a deep voice that Arizona had never heard before. "Uh-h-hi. Is Calliope there?" Arizona asked timidly. The deep voice on the other side of the line hesitated. "No, I'm sorry, there's no Calliope here. You must have the wrong number." Defeated Arizona apologized and hung up the phone. There was no way that was the wrong number. Arizona knew that, and the voice didn't sound like Mark's. It was much deeper and less perverted. The blonde tried to talk herself down, she'd let go of Callie, and let go of that life. She was living this one.
The nurse then came back with the pen and paper. Arizona thanked the woman and then sat down to think about what she wanted to tell Callie, in case she never got to again.
Dearest Calliope,
I know that I am probably the last person that you want to hear from, and believe me, if the situation were reversed; I would feel the same way. I just really want to let know that I am so deeply deeply sorry. If I could, I'd apologize to you every day if that's what you wanted. Calliope, you are the first person I have truly loved other than my family of course. You meant and still mean the world to me. I write this to you because I am currently lying in a hospital bed with only one leg. I know that sounds completely bizarre. And trust me, looking down and my lower extremities, it's rather bizarre. I wish you were here with me lying in this hospital bed, or at least sitting in the chair next to me. It is so lonely here. Part of me wishes that you were the orthopedic surgeon on my case. Then at least I would have known that everything was done that could have been to save my leg. But truly there is nothing more that I want in this world than to know that you're okay. And someday, not now or anytime soon, I hope that you can forgive me and we can be friends at least. I love you Calliope, please never forget it.
Love you,
Arizona
With that, Arizona sealed the envelope and addressed it. Calling the nurse back into the room, Arizona truly hoped that she wasn't making the world's biggest mistake by sending this letter off. Secretly, she hoped that she might get a letter. Arizona didn't want Callie's pity, she just wanted Callie. With tears staining her eyes, Arizona handed the nurse the envelope and thanked her. The blonde knew that the road ahead of her was going to be rough, but she was going to put every ounce of effort into getting mobile again so she could win Callie back.
Present Day…
Arizona arrived at the Seattle Grace Mercy West the next day hoping to check in on Sofia before anyone else got to her. Once up in the PICU, Arizona walked to Sofia's room to find the little girl lying in bed, and Callie was nowhere to be found. Arizona found that quite odd seeing how protective Callie was of the little girl. "Good Morning Sofia. I'm Dr. Robbins. You can call me Arizona. How does that sound?" little girl looked up at Arizona and said "Zona." The blonde laughed at Sofia, "Yes, Zona. Sofia, I'm going to listen to your lungs, okay, with this really cool stethoscope." Sofia grabbed for the stethoscope and Arizona laughed again. Callie's little girl was certainly the most charming little girl ever.
"Nice job Sofia. Your lungs sound great. How do you feel about a sticker?" Arizona asked showing the little girl stickers of Hello Kitty, Barbie and Dora. Sofia grabbed for the Hello Kitty one. "KITTY!" Sofia squealed. This is why Arizona picked Peds Surgery. Not only was it competitive and hardcore, but her patients were easy to please. Parents on the other hand, not as easy.
On the other side of the door, Callie watched as Arizona moved with ease around her daughter. It was like it was meant to be, only in reality, it wasn't. Callie had decided to move on with her life. Sofia and she were getting along just fine when there was no Arizona to worry about. But it made Callie's heart melt to watch the former love of her life interact with her daughter. Callie entered the room, "Sofia did you make a new friend?" Sofia's face lit up when she saw her mom. "Mommy!" Callie picked her daughter up out of the hospital and asked, "What did Arizona give you?" Her daughter smiled like she had stolen a cookie out of the cookie jar. "Zona! Kitty!" If Callie's heart wasn't already a pile of mush, it was when her daughter called Arizona "Zona".
"Well, Dr. Torres, it looks like after work tonight, you can take your daughter with you. I want to watch her O2 stats during the day just for a precaution, and because she's so darn cute. But other than that I'd say she's looking great!" Arizona said just before walking out. Callie put her daughter back into the bed and followed Arizona to the nurses' station. "Look, Arizona, I'm sorry about yesterday. I didn't mean to totally spaz on you. It's just she's my daughter and she's all I've really got other than Mark and Everett. And about your leg, I can help you out, with the phantom limb if you want." Callie said. She truly felt bad about the fight they had had in the scrub room. "Callie, its fine, please don't worry about me. My leg is fine." Arizona said fighting back tears.
The Latina took Arizona's hand and took her into the first on-call room she could find. "I just wanna know one thing, why didn't you tell me? I could have helped. I would have been totally pissed off at you, but I could have helped.." Arizona let the tears fall, "Callie, I called and I wrote. I tried to tell you. I wanted to tell you. There was nothing more I wanted than for you to be with me. But you never replied to my letter and I was subtly told not to call you." Callie bent over and wiped tears from Arizona's eyes. They were only a breath apart. Callie looked into Arizona's eyes. "Arizona, I can't do this. I'm sorry." Callie apologized and left Arizona sitting in the on-call room by herself to wallow.
Callie started down the hall. Why was this all happening to her now? She was finally in a place where she was happy. She was engaged to a wonderful man, who was great with her daughter. And now the woman who stole her heart was back in her life and threated to rip the roots she'd finally been able to plant in the ground. The Latina went to find her fiancé, and when she found him, she asked, "Did Arizona ever send me a letter in the mail or ever call?" Everett looked at her feigning confusion, "No honey, did she say she did?" Callie slightly confused about everything that was going on just shook her head no, and walked away, she was due in surgery in just a short half hour.
Everett looked down at the chart he was looking at, only he couldn't see the words, he only saw red. He thought that he'd finally won Callie over, and that Arizona was finally out of their lives. Of course there had been a letter and a phone call. He had answered the call and immediately recognized the name as the one that had his girlfriend in tears almost constantly, and when they had received the letter, he put in his sock drawer knowing that Callie wouldn't go looking there. Everett was about to have one heated conversation with a perky blonde Peds surgeon.
Arizona heard her pager go off, 911 to OR 3's Scrub Room. Why was she being paged to the Scrub Room? Oh well, she thought, a page was a page for all she knew it was the chief and he was going to need her to scrub in. Everett was waiting for her when she walked in. "Dr. Matthews, can I help you? Did you page?" She asked. Everett locked the door behind Arizona. "Yes, Dr. Robbins, I did page you. We need to have a little chat." Arizona looked at Everett puzzled. "Okay then, Dr. Matthews?" Everett looked at her maniacally. "Listen here you perky little bitch, I have worked my ass off trying to get Callie to get over you and now you waltz back into our lives like you on the place? It doesn't work like that. Callie doesn't love you anymore. She loves me, and we're engaged. You, you were a fling. A flavor of the month, who left her for Africa."
The blonde felt the room around her slow, she had forgotten to breathe. Everett had literally sucked all of the air out of the small room that seemed to be growing increasingly smaller. Arizona turned and left the room gasping for air. She knew that as an attending, she could easily report the harassment, but she was genuinely afraid of the man that she had just confronted her. Running down the hall as fast as she could, Arizona almost didn't realize that she ran right into Teddy. "Arizona!? You're back. I guess I shouldn't take vacation anymore." Teddy took the shaken Arizona into an embrace. "T-Teddy. Hi." Arizona spat out, hoping that she didn't appear too disheveled. "We should have lunch sometime! Catch up?" Teddy asked Arizona. "Yeah, I- I gotta go." Arizona spat out and quickly kept moving working her way to the fresh Seattle air.
Once outside, Arizona took a huge breath in. It had been Everett on the phone, and he must have the letter. Arizona wasn't dense, she had figured it out, and really logically anyone could figure that out.
A few hours later, Arizona found herself nursing a double scotch at Joe's. This place held so many memories for her. It was almost too much for her to bear. She got up from the barstool she was sitting at and tried to calmly make her way over to the bathroom. Once in the bathroom Arizona looked at herself in the mirror, and splashed some cold water on her face. Then the sullen blonde heard the door open behind her, 'Great' she thought to herself. Now someone was going to see her in this state and she wasn't exactly looking hot. Arizona looked up from the sink and saw Callie standing behind her.
"You know, four years ago or so, we were standing here only I was the one that was crying." Callie said to her with a hint of laughter. A smile touched Arizona's lips as she thought about their first kiss that they shared in the bathroom that they were now standing in. "Arizona." Callie said taking a step towards the blonde. "I really shouldn't be in here. I really shouldn't be thinking about you. And I really shouldn't do what I'm about to but curiosity is about to slaughter the cat." Callie took one more step forward and bent her head.
For Arizona it felt like years before Callie's lips were on hers, but once they were it was like they had never left. Arizona leaned into the kiss, wrapping her arms around Callie's neck and tangling her fingers into her raven colored locks. Callie moaned deepening the kiss she had hoped would mean nothing. But that was naïve of her, because deep inside her heart a door was unlocked and everything she didn't want to feel came flooding back. Arizona stepped away first. "Callie. I'm here, I'm real. I'm not going to bail. But you still hold the key to my heart, and I want it back. Unless of course you felt what I felt, I know that it's a long shot. But I want you back Callie. I need you." Arizona opened herself up willing to take the dagger she was sure was coming, but deep in the recess of her soul she hoped Callie was going to reciprocate.
AN: I really hated bitter and woe is me Arizona on the show, so I'm going to down play the anger. Of course she's angry, but she's happy the boy lived. Deal with it. I also am not a big fan of the cheating, homewrecking storyline. It's cheesy, and cliché. Hopefully ya'll don't get too peeved over the Everett thing or the Teddy thing. I loved Teddy. D: Oh, and I love leaving you all with the cliffhanger deals. Keeps you coming back for more. Thank you for all the wonderful support.