Chapter 1

I find myself at your door, just like all those times before

I'm not sure how I got there, all road lead me here

I imagine you are home, in your room all alone

And you open your eyes into mine and everything is better

This is the last time I'm asking you this, put my name at the top of your list

This is the last time I'm asking you why, you break my heart in the blink of an eye

You find yourself at my door, just like all those times before

You wear your best apology but I was there to watch you leave

And all the times I let you, just for you to go again

Disappear, when you come back, everything is better

This is the last time you tell me I've got it wrong

This is the last time I say it's been you all along

This is the last time I let you in my door

This is the last time I won't hurt you anymore

The Last Time by Taylor Swift

This is the last time, a fickle idea I repeated to myself, to him. A promise to myself that I wouldn't give him another chance, that he wouldn't hurt me again. A promise I never kept. At least now I have come to terms with it, released that I would always let him in, always give him another chance, always love him.

I remember the first time we were together. It was a hot summer night, middle of July, I had just turned nineteen and had been celebrating with my older brother, Josh. Seeing as how there was alcohol at the party, and as any underage 19 year-old would, I had a bit too much to drink. Josh didn't want to leave the party so his friend took me home. Unfortunately this friend and I didn't get along. Well we did until he kissed me one day and then refused to acknowledge that anything had happened. So of course, with me being drunk, I said some things I probably shouldn't have.

Flashback

"What is with you guys? Why do you confuse girls so much?" I asked as I stumbled through the door

"I don't think you should drink so much, kid" said Happy, who was holding me up

"Stop with the 'kid' thing, I'm not a kid" I said causing Happy to roll his eyes "But seriously, why can't you just be straight with a girl" I continued

"What'd you mean?" He asked frowning

"Mixed signals, treat 'em mean keep 'em keen does not work" I said turning around to face him

"It works pretty well for me" he said smirking

"That's because all the skanks who hang around the clubhouse have no self esteem and are dependent, no self respecting women would let a man treat her badly and stay with him" I said poking him in the chest

"And your a self respecting woman?" He asked, his smirk growing even wider, he grabbed the hand I was poking him with

"Yes I am" I replied pulling my hand out if his grip, which was hard considering the air tight grip he has

"But honestly, guys just need to tell a girl how he feels" I said looking up at his hard expression

"And what guy is giving you mixed signal?" He asked through gritted teeth

"Maybe the one who kissed me then ignored me" I said

Happy groaned and took a step back from me. I knew he would make a break for it but I wasn't going to let him, he wasn't getting away this time, not without talking to me about this.

"Hap, we have to talk about this" I said

"There's nothing to talk about" he said taking another step away but I just stepped towards him

"Happy, you kissed me, that at least counts as something to talk about" I said, in an almost pleading tone

"I kissed you because I felt like it, I just wanted to kiss someone and you were there" he said

"There were tons of other girls there who would do a lot more than kissing, why kiss me?" I asked in disbelief

"I don't know" he screamed "I just did okay" he said

"That's not a reason" I said quietly crossing my arms over my chest

"What do you want me to say?" He asked "Do you want me to say I have feelings for you or something?" He yelled

"I don't know" I said shrinking away from him, slightly afraid

"And I'm the indecisive one" he said laughing

"You are, you acted like it never happened" I screamed

"What was I supposed to do?" He asked taking a few steps towards me until he was right in front of me

"I didn't know what it meant" I said

"It didn't mean anything" he said

"Then you could have said that" I said "But that's not the case is it?" I asked taking a step so that we were barely an inch away from each other

"No, it's not" he whispered

He grabbed my face and kissed me passionately, pushing me into the wall behind us. I wrapped my arms around his neck while his ran up and down my body. Happy lifted me up and I wrapped my legs around his waist. He carried me to my bedroom, kicking the door closed behind us and throwing me on the bed.

As soon as I woke up I ran to the bathroom, throwing up into the toilet. My head pounded and I laid it on the wall. I looked out the door, into the bedroom. Seeing a body in my bed I jumped up to see who it was. I walked over to the bed to see Happy lying there shirtless, the sheet just covering him. I gasped as soon as I realized what had happened, the memories of last night coming flooding back.

I ran back into the bathroom and closed the door, sliding down against it. I can't believe I just slept with Happy, granted I had been drunk, but still. I stood up and started the shower, stripping down and getting in, letting the water calm my racing mind.

It was then that I looked down to my thighs to find them covered in bruises, my shoulder had a bite mark and my neck was covered in hickeys. The ache in between my legs just went to prove that Happy hadn't just been rough, he'd been brutal.

I got out if the shower and wrapped a towel around me and walkoutings the bedroom, expecting to find the bed empty and Happy gone. But that was not the case. Happy was sitting down on the bed, he looked up when he saw me, getting up and walking towards me.

He looked at my neck, seeing the bruises he ran his hand down my neck. His hand travelled down my shoulder to the bite mark. He then pulled the towel off of me to inspect me for any further damage. He ran his hands over my thighs, I winced at the pain. After I winced he dropped his hands and walked out of the room. I grabbed my dressing gown that was hung over the back of my chair and put it on, running out of the room.

Happy was standing in the kitchen, a guilty expression on his face. I walked up to stand beside him.

"I'm fine Hap" I said

"No your not, your covered in bruises, I hurt you" he said clenching his fists

"It's not that bad" I said

Happy knocked a vase off the counter and it shattered on the floor. "It is that bad, it doesn't matter, it meant nothing, it won't happen again" he said

"No, your not doing this to me again" I screamed

"Missy" he started but I interrupted

"It's not fair for you to do this to me" I screamed

"I'm not doing anything" he yelled "I'm going back to the clubhouse and we won't say anything about this" he said calmly

"Fine then, leave, and don't come back, we can pretend this never happened" I yelled storming off back to my room and slamming the door

I was so angry at Happy that I just wanted him to leave. He couldn't use me like that and just act like nothing had happened, because something did and I have the bruises to prove it. I didn't care if he came back or not, I didn't want him to. Little did both of us know at the time he would come back only two days after.