"Immature love says: 'I love you because I need you.' Mature love says 'I need you because I love you."
Erich Fromm
CARRYING THIS GIFT
Two hours after leaving the farm, Daisy arrived to the little town, and it wasn't difficult to know from people where "the stranger with the plastered arm" stayed.
She saw his car, and her heart skipped a bit; she found him, nearly after three weeks from his leaving she found him, safe and sound (physically safe and sound, at least).
She parked the car near his one and she walked on a path heading to the little cabin, a little path surrounded by high pines and oaks. She inhaled the scent of the upcoming spring, enjoying it and realizing that scent had a good effect on her nausea (or, more probably, it wasn't the scent but her relief to win over her nausea).
After a brief walking, she arrived to a small glade, and, in that glade, she saw a little cabin with a porch.
Her heart skipped another beat: she reached him, she was going to meet him and to tell him about the baby she was carrying in her womb. A sudden doubt: what if her pregnancy would have shocked him even more instead of cheer him up? For sure he'd have been shocked, soon after knowing it, but Daisy hoped that, after the obvious shock (she too was shocked soon after she realized she was carrying a baby inside her body), he'd have thought of it as a gift, a new future, a new family (a way to ease his confusion about his past and identity).
She saw him.
He was lying on the porch swing, motionless.
Daisy hurried up to the porch, holding her breath, in her mind still those terrific images, images of Enos dead somewhere after committing suicide as his mother: that thought surfaced to her mind since his leaving, despite her attempt to remember herself Enos wasn't like his mother, he was upset and shocked because of everything happened (and it was pretty normal, anybody in Enos' shoes would have been so shocked and upset), but he wouldn't have ever done something like that. No way.
Coming closer him she relaxed: he was peacefully sleeping in that spring light.
She observed the sunlight turning the ebony brown of his ruffled hair in a brighter shade of brown; she smiled sadly looking at his trembling eyelids, at his half-open lips and at his faint beard; he observed his body on the porch swing, his black leather jacket, his checked red shirt, his blue jeans and his black shoes (the ones he wore when he worked, the big difference, now, being that those shoes weren't polished as usual: he usually managed to keep his shoes as polished as possible despite Hazzard's dust and mud, but it seemed now he wasn't interested of it): a creased and sad look, so different of his usual tidy look.
"Oh Enos", she whispered his name and she gently brushed his hair aside, uncovering his forehead and provoking his sudden awake in an explosion of rambling movements of arms and legs and in a squeaking of confused words.
She couldn't help but smiling, recognizing the ol' sweet and clumsy Enos, her Enos.
Enos' eyes finally focused on Daisy, the shade of sleep still on them, "Daisy?".
He rubbed his eyes and he shook briefly his head, trying to move away that invisible shade, as he was trying to understand if it was reality or a dream.
He sat up and he looked at her, surprised, "Daisy? How did you find me?", his voice hoarse.
"Doc Fay called Doc Appleby"
Enos shook his head, his right hand covering his face, "I showed him my I.D. and badge. It'd have been a lot better if I hadn't asked him to remove the plaster", he looked away, into the woods, "it'd have been a lot better if I hadn't talked to him at all". He shook again his head and he sighed, looking at her, "So, you've found me".
"Enos, did you realize how much you worried me? And uncle Jesse, Bo, Luke", she sat by his side, taking his right hand in hers, "what's the sense of running away like that? You CAN'T face this thing all by yourself, Enos".
"You're right. I'm sorry", defeat, a perfect show of his tiredness, and a shiver, "It's better to enter, Dais". He stood up and he entered the little cabin, and Daisy followed him.
She observed the room and the unmade sofabed, the environment around him reflecting his outward creased appearance, and probably his inner confusion too. She sighed.
"Uh, sorry for the… confusion", he realized her surprise and he started to tidy up, picking up various papers, comics and books here and there; he probably tried to distract himself reading things he usually liked to read, especially tales and comics. Everybody in Hazzard knew Enos Strate liked reading that kind of childish stuff, and Daisy wondered if his past (the lack of an happy childhood) was the reason of that attempt to prolong a sort of childhood into adulthood thanks of that kind of passions.
"Enos, it's OK. Please, sit down and have a talk. I need to talk to you".
He stopped and he looked at her, "Give me some time to… ", he rubbed his faint beard, "this isn't my best look, I'm sorry", without waiting for her answer he headed to bathroom.
Alone in the room, Daisy sat on the sofabed, the only sound the water splashing in the shower.
She looked at the fire in the little stove and she wondered how she was going to tell him about her pregnancy; why was he so offish? Was the time he seemed so natural and at ease around her lost? She remembered their last time at the Boarding House, the day he told her about how his mother killed Andrew Salinger, his kiss before to leave. Was everything lost?
She woke up from her thoughts when he sat by her side, covered with a bathrobe, perfectly shaven, his hair still damp. Seeing him only covered by the bathrobe relaxed her: no, his way to move around her without the previous shyness but with a new confidence wasn't lost.
"I needed some time to… ponder on things. I didn't want to worry you", he looked at the stove avoiding to meet her eyes, but at least he was talking spontaneously, and Daisy could bet he used the time under the shower's jet to find those words.
"I suppose you wanted to ponder on what Erika told you. About your likeness to her father and about those pictures"
A brief silence as he glanced at her, before to look again at the stove and to keep on speaking, "And I suppose you asked Erika about everything she told me".
He was right: after he left, she asked Erika what she told him, and she managed to convince Erika to tell her everything (or, it was better to say, uncle Jesse managed to convince Erika to tell them everything about her talk with Enos). It was after that talk with Erika those dramatic images started to surface into Daisy's mind, scaring her: it wasn't surprising Enos was shocked to know he was really Andrew Salinger's son, since, 'till Erika revelations, it was still a possibility, for him; even more shocking, probably, knowing Andrew Salinger knew (or, at least, he suspected) to be his father, somehow "following" him.
"I'd have preferred to know I'm NOT Andrew Salinger's son. I wanted to solve that doubt, but… I'd have preferred not this way", he expressed perfectly what Daisy thought, "I don't know who I am, I'm confused".
She rested gently her hand on his knee, "You are YOU. Nothing can change your past, your experiences, your friends, your work, and so on. You are the man I love", she took a deep breath, ready for her revelation, "and you are the…"
He stopped her words with a sudden and surprising kiss, then he hugged her, "I missed you, Dais. Thank you for coming, I confess I hoped it but I hadn't the force to call you, to ask you to come here. I hadn't the force to go back to Hazzard. I was somehow blocked in this spot. I need you but I don't want to… hurt you, crashing you with my problems. Lately you were so tired, and pale, so I understood I couldn't keep on hanging on you, but I had to solve my problems all by myself. But… I can't, Dais, I can't solve things all by myself, I need you… 'cause I love you, Dais", a quick and feverish talk, as he was forcing his deepest and saddest thoughts outside (so admitting his weakness) before to regret it.
Daisy wrapped her arms around his neck, "Oh, Enos. You are so sweet and caring. Please, don't run away anymore. I need you. I… and the baby", she held her breath, waiting for his answer.
She felt him freezing and slowly freeing himself from her hug, looking into her eyes, "Baby?", on his face surprise and confusion. Maybe it wasn't the best way to tell him something like that, but she couldn't wait any more; she didn't know how to tell it in a different way, in effect. That moment of confession and opening up could be the best moment to do it, or she hoped so.
She had a deep breath, before to go on, "Enos, I'm… pregnant. It's why that night I was sleeping so deeply. It's why I seemed so tired, not because of you… uh, because of you but… in a different way you thought of", she blushed, realizing the awkwardness of her words, "but I didn't know it".
"Pregnant?", he blinked, more and more confused, "but… how did it happen?"
"Enos Strate, there's only one way how it happens. And I hope you didn't forget about that night at the Institute, and about our meetings at the Boarding House, 'cause, if you forgot 'bout it, well, I'd be offended", she blushed, and her blushing reflected his blushing.
His cheeks became red as tomatoes, not only because of the embarrassment of talking so openly about such a thing, but also because of another kind of emotion, "Did uncle Jesse, Bo and Luke know about it? If uncle Jesse knows it, he'll kill me, and, after uncle Jesse, Bo and Luke will re-kill me".
Daisy sniggered, "You and Doc Appleby are the only ones knowing it. You are the father of the baby, and you have to know it before everybody else. Besides, we're engaged, and we're going to marry, our postponed wedding, aren't we? Well, we've only inverted the orders of things"
She saw him having a soft start when she called him "the father of the baby", then the red on his cheeks disappeared, and his confused, and somehow scared, look changed into a dreaming, sweet and happy look, the look of a man finally realizing he's going to be a father, the look of a man who's never had a normal and happy family realizing he's going to have a family, finally, a family with the woman he's always loved.
"Daisy Duke", in her name all his love, the same sweet and grateful tone he used that day at the lake, when she asked him to marry her, when she was offering herself as his lifeboat against life's adversities; it was only some months before but it was like years, so many things happened after then, so many things changed between them. The same way of that day he kissed her passionately, but this time they weren't on a boat swinging on the lake and risking to let them fall into the water; this time they fell on the bed, hugging each other.
On his skin still the warmth of the water and the scent of soap, his cheeks smooth; Daisy untied the bathrobe's belt and she slid her hands on his skin, feeling him shivering and his muscles tensing under her touch.
"Uh, Dais.. But… Isn't it dangerous for the baby? The baby… inside you… I mean… I don't want to disturb him… or her"
His breath against her neck, and Daisy laughed, surprised of his naivety, "Don't worry, Enos. It's not dangerous". His innocent-like (unintentional?) humour, beside his innate and eternal sweetness, was one of the things of him she liked the most.
He felt him relaxing, his body on her.
She closed her eyes and she let him lead her in their enchanted world.
Early in the night.
How much did he sleep?
By her right side, part of his body on her, his right leg and arm crossing her as he's trying to climb over her, skin against skin, his warm breath on her right cheek: Daisy enjoyed the feeling of his body on her, covering her but without crashing her.
She remembered him crying and repeating "thanks" after collapsing on her when they came out their enchanted world, before he fell deeply asleep.
She wrapped her arms around Enos' waist.
"The father of the baby", she smiled at the ceiling, whispering those few words and realizing the beauty in it, before to fall asleep.
They didn't even have dinner, that evening, but it didn't matter: they were already sated.
After the previous short bridge... you were waiting for it, weren't you? A quick update, but I didn't want you wait too much ;-) (for people a bit ... ehm... lazy in reading, if you've jumped to this chapter, check you've not missed the previous one, LOL).
Thank you to everyone is reading it (from everywhere, U.S., U.K., New Zealand, Canada..., nobody from Italy, what a strange world, LOL). And REVIEW!