Chapter 2- Almost Lover
Your fingertips across my skin
The palm trees swaying in the wind
Well, I never want to see you unhappy
I thought you'd want the same for me
Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?
So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
Should've known you'd bring me heartache
I cannot go to the ocean
I cannot drive the streets at night
I cannot wake up in the morning
Without you on my mind
So you're gone and I'm haunted
And I bet you are just fine
Did I make it that easy to walk right in and out
Of my life
Almost Lover by A Fine Frenzy
The second time we were together was just as disastrous as the first. We wouldn't work, just couldn't, but some magnetic force pulled as together. I didn't choose to love Happy, I just did.
It was a year after that fateful drunken night. We had barely lasted a month before Happy left, leaving me to pick up the pieces. I had finally gotten all my shit together, I was in college, had an apartment and even a boyfriend, but of course Happy had to come and ruin what I had.
It was a cold winter day and I had just come home from my class, I was studying to become a Vet, working as a waitress. My parents paid for everything I needed, as long as I did well in school. My father was a lawyer and my mother was his trophy wife, I was basically the child they depended on to 'continue their legacy' or something like that. Some pompous reason for disowning their own child. When my brother had become a Son my parents were so embarrassed that they cut him off completely, to them they had no son. Of course all of their expectations then fell onto me.
So of course they enrolled me into the best school their money could buy, paid for my apartment and set me up with some son of their friend who was studying to be a doctor. Basically a man that them, and all of their friends, would approve of. Because if they ever found out about Happy, I'm pretty sure they would die of shame. They had already lost one child to the MC, to lose another would kill them.
I had been trying really hard to please them, going to functions and gatherings. Putting on a fake smile and pretending to care about the lives of my mothers friends. Put up with Michael. Not that Michael was a bad person, he really wasn't, in fact he was a good person. He treated me well, he was kind and generous, he loved me. But a small part wished that it was Happy I woke up next to, Happy whose arms wrapped around me at night time. As much as I tried to deny it, put it down to a teenage crush, I was still madly in love with Happy.
Michael was having dinner with some of his friends, I had said I was sick to get out of going. Michael's friends always looked down their nose at everyone else, most without even realizing it. It was just a natural reaction for them, to judge others and voice their opinions, even if the person under scrutiny was within ear shot.
I was sitting on my couch watching television, my legs wrapped up against my chest. I had a sloppy joe and bike shorts on, my face free of makeup, something you would never leave the house in.
When I heard a knock at the door I got up to answer it, expecting it to be Michael coming home early, my mother popping in for an in expecting visit. Never had I expected who was really behind the door.
"Hey Kid" said a familiar raspy voice
"Happy" I whispered staring at him
He seemed unchanged since I had seen him last, still the same hard expression he always wore, the one were you could never really tell what he was feeling. Same dark eyes that both scared me and filled me with warmth, depending on how he was looking at me.
"What the hell are you doing here?" I asked frowning
"I thought you had enough manners to invite someone in" he said ignoring my question and pushing past me to walk inside
"I do, if I actually want the person inside my house" I said annoyed "Why are you here Happy?" I asked
"Your brother asked me to come, we've had some problem with the Mayans, he wanted to bring you done, just to be on the safe side" he explained while looking around
"I'm perfectly safe right here" I scoffed
"Yeah, I'm sure that Doctor toy boy can protect you, right" he said
"Have you been watching me?" I asked
"Just keeping a watchful eye, just protecting a brothers family" he said
"Oh I'm sure that's all it is, just doing your duty, right" I said in disbelief
"What do you mean?" He asked
"I think we both know it's a little more than that"
"Pack a bag, we're leaving" he said walking off scowling
"I'm not leaving" I said
"Why not?" He asked
"I have a life here, I have school, and friends, and Michael" I said
"A few days off school won't kill you, leave a note for Michael" he said, saying Michael's name as if it was poison in his mouth
"I'm staying here, if my brother thinks it's so important that I come then he should come get me himself" I said crossing my arms over my chest
It was like a Mexican stand-off, we were both to stubborn to budge, we would never compromise. One of the many reasons we never worked out.
"Fine" he said
He pulled out my draws and tipped them onto the floor, he was purposefully doing it to annoy me, I hated mess, one of the only things we had in common.
"Stop it" I screamed, he stopped what he was doing to look up at me triumphantly "I'll come with you, just give me some time to pack" I said annoyed
Happy walked out of the bedroom, leaving me to clean up the mess he had created, no surprise there. I picked up all my clothes, folding the ones I wanted to take and putting them into a bag, the others I chucked back into the draw, I could put them away properly when I got back.
I walked out into the loungeroom to see Happy stretched out on the couch watching the television. I grabbed my cell phone off the table, switched off all lights but the kitchen and walked over to Happy. I turned off the television and walked past Happy without looking at him. I wrote a quick note to Michael and left it on the kitchen counter.
Happy followed me outside, walking past me as I locked the door. I took a deep breath, desperately trying to relax. I knew that leaving with Happy would have some serious repercussions but I had to do it, if only to prove something to myself.
I walked over to Happy, who was sitting on his bike waiting for me to get on, holding a helmet out to me.
"Really, you couldn't have possibly driven a car here" I said
"Get on" he said angrily
I reluctantly took the helmet and put it on, getting on behind him and wrapping my arms around his waist. He started the bike and we left.
The drive to the clubhouse didn't take long, and when we arrived I got of the bike and stalked inside, not even bothering to say hello to my brother, and walked to the only dorm room that I knew, which unfortunately was Happy's. I chucked my bag on the ground and laid down on the bed. Before I knew it my eyes were closing and I was asleep.
I woke up at the sound of someone in my room, I opened my eyes expecting to see my room but saw the dark walls of Happy's dorm. I looked over to the clock to see that I had only been asleep for an hour. Happy was sitting on the bed next to me. I sat up and looked over at Happy, the strong stench of alcohol filled my nose.
"You've been drinking" I said "Oh wait, getting wasted is just a normal night for you, I'm surprised you didn't kick me out and bring in some skank" I said bitterly getting up from the bed
He stood up and walked over to me smirking "Would that make you jealous?" He asked
"Just like Michael makes you jealous" I said avoiding answering his question
"That prick doesn't make me jealous" he said angrily
"Whatever you say" I said mirroring the smirk he had on before
Happy stepped forward, making me step backwards. I entrapped with my back against the wall, there was no way out of this, I was trapped.
"Why would you care if I was jealous?" He asked
"I..I don't" I stammered
Happy put his arms on the wall next to my head, further blocking my escape. He leaned down and I froze, unable to move I just watched him move closer. He pressed his lips against mine and started kissing me. The kiss was passionate and lustful, I wrapped my arms around his neck, his roaming down my waist. He picked me up and moved us to the bed. Clothes were soon discarded, as were all thoughts of Michael.
I woke up with the sunlight streaming in from the window, showering the room in light. I snuggled into my bed, my eyes shot open when I felt skin underneath my hand. I looked up to see Happy asleep underneath me, his arm wrapped around my shoulder with my head on his chest.
"Oh shit" I whispered as I looked down to see myself completely naked
I rested my head back on his chest while I tried to figure out what to do next. I had just cheated on Michael, my mother would kill me. But of course she wouldn't if she never found out. That's when I decided that this night, and all those before it, stayed here. I would leave today, not sure how seeing as Happy rode here, and forget all about Happy, move on with my life, move on with Michael.
I tried to move but Happy pulled me closer to him. I relaxed and tried to enjoy what would be the last embrace I would get from him.
"You leaving?" He asked
I looked up at him with a sorrowful gaze "Yeah, I need to go back Hap, I don't belong here anymore, I never really did" I said
Happy moved his arm away from my shoulder and sat up. My shoulder went cold and I missed the warmth of his body next to mine. I sat up next to him, clutching the sheet to my chest, keeping a safe distance just in case he got angry.
"Why'd you bring me back, Hap?" I asked "It wasn't because of my brother was it"
We stared into each others eyes, neither one willing to break the trance. I loved his eyes, I could stare into them for hours upon hours. Get lost in those dark orbs, the only way you could ever tell his emotions.
He cupped my face with his hand and kissed me, it wasn't soft and gentle, not if you compared it to Michael's kiss, but by Happy's standard it was the softest and gentlest I think he had ever kissed a woman.
"Hap, please" I whispered between kisses "I need to leave, don't make this hard"
Happy pulled away and stared at my face, his face going cold, his expression hardening as he moved away. He got up and through the back on the bed next to me, picking up my clothes and chucking them at me.
"Happy" I started but he cut me off
"There's a shower in their, get changed and go" he said pulling on his clothes
"Happy, I've got no way to get back" I said
"I'll get someone" he said before leaving
I got up and showered, trying to let the water wash away these doubts I was having about going back. What I had said about not belonging here was complete bullshit, I had never belonged anywhere more than in Happy's arms. Never wanted anything more than to just be with him. And yet here I was, leaving the last chance I had with him to go back to my 'perfect' life. The 'perfect' path to a career I had set up, the 'perfect' family that I resented, the 'perfect' boyfriend who I wasn't even sure I loved. My life was far from perfect, but I had no other choice. If I stayed here my parents would cut me off, I didn't have enough money to finish school and what decent job prospects did I have here. Happy would never make me his Old Lady, and I didn't want to be anything less. It had to be this way, it was what was best for everyone.
After I had showered and changed I sat on the bed waiting for Happy to come back, I needed to get out of here soon, or else all the self encouragement as to why I should leave, adding up the pros and cons, would have been a total waste. And I wasn't known for wasting my time, unless Happy was concerned.
When Happy came back he muttered something about the prospect taking me back, grabbed my bag and led me out of the clubhouse. The prospect was waiting patiently for me on the bike, Happy handed me bag, scowling.
"Have a nice life with that perfect boyfriend of yours" he said through gritted teeth before walking away
I watched Happy walk away, a millions thoughts running through my brain, I wanted to stop him, to say that I had always loved him and that I would stay here and be his Old Lady. But another thing I wasn't known for was impulsivity, at least not anymore. I wasn't that crazy in love with Happy teenager anymore, I was an adult now, and my mother hadn't raised me to not think things through. And I had thought this through.
And with that I got on the back of the bike, riding away from Happy, away from all the memories and feelings. I hoped that with time and distance they would dissapear, oh how wrong I was.