I know that I have no right to complain and I'm not complaining, but some night are better than others... My night's are almost all the same and yet I suffer from different arguments and different accidents. Call me stupid, call me weak... I'd like to see what you would do, if you were me... If you loved your dady as much as I do, if you were the reason he's miserable... What would you do, if you were me?
"Ichigo! Ichigo! where are you, ya damn bitch!" screamed out the vicious voice.
My eyes snapped open from where I laid in my bed; it was about 3:35 in the morning.
Gasping I quickly press myself against the wall, my heart began to race as I can hear each pounding foot step go up the stairs.
"Please don't be drunk, please don't be drunk, please don't be drunk" I mentally begged myself as his foot steps came near my door.
With a quick movement, the door swung open and slammed into my already cracked wall. Angry reddened eyes stared back at me; I tried not to look as I tried to hide myself in the dark room.
He was drunk and sluggish looking as he stood at my doorway. I don't want to be beaten tonight, I'm so exhausted and I didn't want to look bad on my first day of a new school. Keeping myself hidden, he quickly spotted me as the lights went on.
"You dirty slut, why are you hiding from me?" he shouted as he quickly came at me.
"I'm not hiding daddy... really I'm not..." I lied.
My father's face scowled even deeper as he slapped me so hard that I hit the floor. I felt very dizzy as I tried to stand up, tears threaten to come and I let them flow. They were my only defense when my father was angry, however they only worked about twenty percent of the time.
"You lying worthless maggot, why do you always have to be a waste of air?" he said as he grabbed me by the hair and began to drag me out of my room.
"Please daddy don't! please, please daddy!" I cried.
His fingers were now tangled in my hair keeping me bowed so that I couldn't get up, my legs dragged beneath me and even scraped across some of the broken glasses that were in the hallway. I whimpered as we got closer and closer towards the stairs.
"Dady, daddy no! Please, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry!" I cried finally getting him to stop.
He lifted me up onto my feet and made me face him; I did my best to stand tall, but my legs kept bucking from the abuse before.
"Stand up straight!" he demanded.
I tried, but my legs wouldn't stop trembling; I start to cry as my body wouldn't respond towards my fathers demands. I'm such a worthless fool that I couldn't even stand up right.
"Stand up Straight!" He roared his voice taking on a stronger and more darker tone.
He slaps me again and I fall on my knee's; My legs don't want to hold me up, I'm panicking... why won't my body listen to me?
My father lifts me by the hair again and forces me onto my feet.
"Stop it, stop it! You pitiful excuse for a human being, stop acting like I abuse you! It's sickening, seeing you alive everyday is sickening; I can't wait to see you rot in hell!" he screamed all at once.
Tears poured down my face as I began to bawl, I didn't mean to make him mad... I didn't ask to be born nor to live.
"I'm sorry... I'm so sorry daddy..." I cried in between sobs and gasps.
"Shut up, shut the hell up!" he screamed as his big hands wrapped around my throat.
I tried to stop crying, I tried to gasp for air and yet I couldn't stop my uncontrollable sobbing. His hands tightened and I felt the lack of air, more tears fell as I gasped for air. I tried to speak, but no words fell. I can't breathe, it hurts as I struggle.
Cupping his hands, I close my eyes when suddenly... he released me.
I gasp as I struggle for air, my sobs are now much more silent and my body is now an earthquake. I tremble as I try to crawl away from him, but I don't get far as he grabs me by the hair and lifts me to my feet.
"Don't you dare, disrespect me again!" he screams.
I try to stand tall, but my weight was being held by my father. I weakly nod my head as he makes me stand; tears continue to run down my flushed face, my hair is a mess and I feel queasy from the loss of oxygen.
"Why are you still shaking? What, is it because you did something wrong again? Were you with another guy again? Did you fuck yourself?" he asked me over and over causing my sobs to get louder again.
I didn't do anything wrong... this morning some guy's jumped me and had their way, but I didn't mean for it to happen.
"No... No da-daddy I didn't..." I say a bit too quickly when suddenly he backed slapped me.
My body fell, but this time I didn't make contact with the floor; stumbling down the stairs, I screamed as pain was shot through my whole body. I couldn't stop myself, not until I hit the last step...